Super classic funny jokes

Lead: I took a taxi the other day. After I got on the bus, the driver listened to the jokes on the radio. He kept laughing, kept laughing, and suddenly stopped laughing. Then he looked at me innocently and said, the man who just took the bus didn't give me money? I suppressed the internal injuries in an instant. The following is a super classic joke of 20 17 for your reference.

1. One day, a family of three went to the old man's house for dinner. When eating, the old father-in-law said to the little girl, how dare you come and eat often? Little Lori casually replied: Your daughter eats in our house every day. How dare you? ,,,,, Are there any children who go against the sky now?

2. My classmates went out to play with girls and drank a little at night, and the girls didn't say anything back. . So I got a room. It is said that at night, the girl took his hand and put it on her waist. The students did nothing. . Girls will fall in love with him the next day, and it has been better for more than two years now. . . The girl recalled that at the beginning, several men used this method to test, just like finding an honest one, and my classmate passed. . . . . I'm a little wrong. I just want to know what those losers are doing.

It is said that an old lady with gray hair went to the barber shop to dye her hair. She was told it was 80. The old lady said, it's too expensive. Is she 40 in the middle of dyeing? The boss said, yes, as long as you like. ? Then dye my white hair black, so my black hair doesn't have to be dyed? . What a rational old man the boss is!

I took a taxi one day. After getting on the bus, the driver listened to the jokes on the radio. He kept laughing, kept laughing, and suddenly stopped laughing. Then he looked at me innocently and said, the man who just took the bus didn't give me money? I suppressed the internal injuries in an instant.

5. I am so hungry. Now the only thing we can eat at home is dog food. I couldn't help eating a few. It tastes good. My dog woke up when he heard the bag ring, squatted beside me and stared at me with his head tilted! Can't I eat a few of what I paid for?

6. I am a sophomore this year. My dream brother and sister are seven years older than me. I graduated from Normal University this year. My sister has been hiding since she graduated in the summer vacation. Watching me smile gives me the creeps. I knew the result when school started last week. She became my English teacher! Hey, my girlfriend can only see you again.

7. I have a little cousin, six years old, who is usually a computer fan. . . My uncle went out to work this morning. Before going out, he said to his little cousin, do your homework well today, and let you play computer for an hour after you finish it. When my uncle came home at noon and saw him playing beside him, he asked his cousin: Have you finished your homework? Cousin bowed his head, sighed and replied, stop that now, I don't want to play computer today. . . Cousin, you can do it. . .

I received a strange phone call yesterday? Chop thieves? My boyfriend said, "Wife, I lost my mobile phone. Stop texting me. " I was just about to comfort, when the goods added, "Don't remit it, either. I'm worried about you at home. Everyone else is fine, you are so stupid! " . Well, I specially called to say that I was stupid, and you deserved to lose your mobile phone-_-"

9. At the regular meeting on Thursday, the boss of the company said that few people read his email (if you don't open it, he will remind you), scolded everyone and let everyone read his email. -End of background. Last Friday, I heard that a great buddy not only saw it, but also replied that he had seen it. I don't know if I can see him again on Monday. . .

10, I saw the wrong classroom in the second day of junior high school. I remember when I was in high school, I found that I didn't know anyone because I walked an extra floor. Nima reached out and touched the blackboard slot, looked at the trash can, and went out to pretend to check the hygiene. Nima also greeted her acquaintances with a smile. Holy shit. Afterwards, my friend asked me why I started to check the hygiene. I'm embarrassed to say it. Nima (turn)

1 1, I just read a passage saying that a daughter-in-law is a road and a friend is a cow. There is only one way in life, and there will be several cows. Don't go the wrong way if you have money, and don't sell cattle if you lack money. . . . Result, result. . . . A man of God replied: What about cows on the road? ! ! ! All right!

12, the company has a wonderful post-90 s sister paper, short and not cut. . . Today, I ran to the director of the office for no reason and asked: Director, is pregnancy at work a work-related injury? Emma has really increased her knowledge, hasn't she?

13. On the bus, a 40-year-old man pulled a little girl of 1 1, 12 years old. The little girl said, President Wang, I want to eat sundaes? At this time, the eyes of the whole car were focused on the man, and some even took out their mobile phones to take pictures or called 1 10. At this moment, the man embarrassedly said to the little girl: This child calls the principal at school, so why don't you call him dad when you come out?

14. On the first day when my wife got her driver's license, I was frightened sitting in the co-pilot. I went the wrong way, ran a red light and made a sharp turn? Everything came out. The wife also said excitedly:? Look how fast I'm driving. No other car can overtake me. An old car is running on two roads. Who dares to overtake it? ? I yelled.

15, boyfriend:? Do you like the birthday present I gave you? Girlfriend: Well, it's beautiful. Thieves like it! ? Boyfriend:? Really? Then why don't you take it away? Girlfriend: Didn't I just tell you? Thieves like it. It was stolen. ?

16, a man in the company naturally wants to stay. A beautiful woman came to see him just now? ,,,, We all asked in a special gossip, Who is this beautiful woman? When did you meet? How old is it? Naturally, I stayed and explained that it was my sister, my own sister, half a year younger than me. . . Half a year younger, Nima, half a year younger sister shocked our whole office!

17, in the office, the teacher handed me 10 yuan and said softly: Add a condom to your mobile phone. ? Holding the Nokia I bought three years ago, I muttered: Teacher, my mobile phone is broken and can't be used. ? The teacher sighed and thrust the money into my hand. Here, we can use the floor in our class. ? .

18, a soldier of the cooking class, picked up a puppy while training outside. At night, the puppy barks all the time, even when feeding the meat. Just as the monitor passed by, I pointed to the dog and said, call the monitor quickly, and the monitor will give you meat to eat. The monitor said domineering, call dad, call dad to give you meat to eat. . . . . . I feel so loving in an instant.

19, a male teacher is having a moral class. Male teacher:? Students, lying is wrong. Do you know what lying is? Student:? I see. ? Male teacher:? Ok, now let a classmate give an example. ? A student quickly raised his hand. Male teacher:? Ok, please tell me about it. ? Student:? Teacher, you are so handsome. ? As a result, the student was punished for standing for a class.

20. Primary school is almost over, and there are many people and cars at the school gate. I was trapped riding an electric car with a woman. The taxi driver behind us honked the horn, and the sister on the electric car came down and squatted by the window and said to the taxi driver, Master, I'll honk the horn for you, and you can ride my car. The male driver could not speak with his mouth open. How happy am I? Good girl

2 1, a buddy in the university dormitory just started playing dota, and he went to the platform to fight with people and scolded them all kinds. ,,,,, Once I had a bloody hair as soon as I went up, and someone scolded him, and then he replied, You had a good time. Then a miracle happened, and four teammates surrounded him to protect him.

2 1, a friend asked him to send it. He and his mother went up the mountain to pick mushrooms, enjoying the scenery while picking mushrooms, and walked halfway up the mountain. He told his mother how the scenery felt deja vu. This is my first time here, and then his mother's words shocked him. His mother said you were right to feel this way, thinking that you were pregnant here that year!

22. Today, I learned that the handsome guy who often comes to buy things, why does he sometimes greet me with a smile when he sees me, but sometimes he treats me coldly? It's been three years, and now I know that TM is two brothers! Not twins yet!

23. Every time I go home, lz mother will compare a neighbor's son with me. What family is as big as you? How many girlfriends did you bring home? I bought a house and a car in a big city. I have the ability anyway. At this time, diaosi feels that he just came home yesterday, and the whole village is saying that he is in prison. . . Then, at dinner, it was much quieter. I ate three bowls.

24. Walking today, an uncle in front dropped 200 yuan when he took out his mobile phone from his trouser pocket. I stopped him and told him that you had lost your money. He turned to look at me in horror and walked away quickly. . . . Then I have two weeks' pocket money. Are good people rewarded?