Funny talk about Daquan: life is like shit. After suffering for a long time, it turns out to be a fart.

1. A happy day is the day when you are full and go to bed.

2. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

2. Even if you want to cry again, smile and say: Fuck you!

I want to be an angry bird and hit those pigs.

4. Love is to be desperate and endure everything.

6. I am cute and responsible. What did I do wrong?

7. Big Big Wolf, big stupid Wolf, can never beat Pleasant Goat, but also serve Red taro.

8. Finally, the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River covers the whole world. After the glory of China, it was just a scene, and the mountains and rivers were silent forever.

9. Qian Qiu fame, I buried you all my life, exquisite country, ridiculous but no king's life.

10. Phoenix, who once played here, left without permission and waited all night. From then on, Wan Li cried.

1 1. the Year of the Loong is in a good mood and has no troubles every day; Raise your head and embrace happiness, lower your head and embrace beauty.

12. I miss those days when I ate single-celled animals (women use this as a signboard, which is absolutely spicy).

13. I am not yet thirty years old. Where is it like an uncle? So I clenched my fists: Sister-in-law, what's the matter?

14. A girl is lovelorn. I advised her: two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!

15. Once I patted my roommate's stomach, she said loudly: Stop patting, I have urine in my stomach.

16. If you are the one, if the female guest turns off the man's light again, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the whole building! ! !

17. Female: Would you like to be my sun? M: I made it! W: Then please keep the mileage with me.

18. Remembering that someone said that they would make a sequel to flying swords of dragon gate, called flying swords of dragon gate, I prayed to myself not to make the third episode.

19. Eight years ago, I developed a bad habit of smoking, and a roommate developed a good habit of drinking milk. Now, I am alive and well, and my roommate is dead.

20. I came into this world with no intention of returning alive.

2 1. The teacher said: Even if men conquer the world, they will be conquered by women one day.

22. What used to be a fairy tale love has now become a life of hell.

23. Interesting story: I got blisters on my feet after my youth.

24. Actually, I am homesick. It's just a matter of who I live in.

25. Life is like shit. After trying for a long time, it turned out to be a fart.

26. It is necessary to change notebooks. It takes 5 minutes to boot, and the battery only lasts 3 minutes!

27. The head teacher said to a classmate after class: Don't think you send text messages in class. I don't know who will giggle at the crotch.

28. Many people are looking for him, but he is in sogou.

29. On September 1 day in China, a bitter story called "Opening School" will be broadcast soon.

30. The clearest emotional investment skill is to give timely help, not icing on the cake.

3 1. Never have friends. Too much experience will make your eyes full of money.

When you point your finger at others and scold their parents, don't forget that there are still four fingers pointing at yourself! !

No money. It's funny.

Having no money is a sad thing, and having more money is doubly sad.

Second, a woman can live without money, but not without dignity and love, but not without self-esteem. A woman's noble capital is dignity!

When he was down and out, he went to visit Nasreddin, a kind and clever old man who often helped people out of trouble.

The last time she ate with her children was a day ago, and the food was shared by poor neighbors.

People who have no money always think that the money of the rich is bought with love, while those who have no love always think that the love of those who have love is bought with money.

6. No matter how much wealth China has, if it is divided by 100 million people, it will be pitiful; No matter how small the problem in China is, it will be great if multiplied by 100 million people.

7. Money in hand is a tool to keep freedom, and the money we pursue is a tool to make ourselves slaves.

Love and money are good things, but together, they may not produce sweet candy.

Money can do many things, but it is not everything. We should know its field. And limit it there; When it wants to develop further, it even has to kick them back.

There are only a few pieces of broken furniture at home. It's really a family.

XI. Cousin's family is so poor that they have to work and study!

12. Poor farmers rose up and killed elephants for their land and livelihood.

Thirteen, I won't bend over if money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

14. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I'll resign. Before resigning, I'll give him two Chinese coins and kill him.

15. Lao Wang is always extravagant. He only gets paid at the beginning of the month, and he will be cash-strapped in the middle of the month.

Sixteen, when there is no money, curse the rich bastard, and when there is money, curse the poor man who has no money; When riding a bicycle, curse the speeding car; When there is a car, curse the bicycle that affects the speed; When there is no power, curse corruption; When you have power, you are more corrupt than your predecessor-don't always look at justice for heaven, and don't always scold others for their lack of quality. If you can't do better than others, first reflect on yourself: Do you have that quality?

17. Most women still worship money, thinking that as long as they have money, they will be happy. In fact, they have no idea what happiness is and are not qualified to talk about it. It is an insult to happiness to link money with happiness.

He thinks we are crazy: when we got married, we were all poor and had empty pockets.

Nineteen, no money and no power is not good for you. Can you talk to me?

Twenty, the wallet is scarred and the pocket is empty. I'm afraid it will take a month to recover.

Twenty-one, have the money to tell the truth, have no money to tell lies. Don't believe me, but look at the wine at the banquet and persuade the rich first.

Twenty-two, people who have no money in their pockets and no money in their hearts are the most chic; He who has no money in his pocket and money in his heart is the most miserable; People who have money in their pockets are the most troubled; He who has money in his pocket but no money in his heart is the happiest.

He is poor now, but he still insists on studying abroad.

Twenty-four, what is not sick, what is not without money, and what is not lacking in health. Health is not everything, but without health, there is nothing.

Although he has made some achievements now, few people know that he spent his childhood surrounded by his family.

Twenty-six, he really has nothing but a harmonica with him.

I don't like living with empty pockets, but who does?

A successful husband has more money to spend than his wife; A successful wife is looking for such a husband.

Twenty-nine, men hate women vulgar when they have no money, and wish women vulgar when they have money.

Although the writer was down and out, he continued to write.

He made a fortune in business, but died penniless.

32. Wealth is a "threat to happiness", and those luxury houses have become superfluous things-Haguetti Clark, the only billionaire in the world who is over 100 years old, said.

He wants to borrow money from me? I am as poor as a church mouse. How can I lend him money?

Thirty-four, the underground gold should be dug from the vein, and the gold of the miser should be made from the soul.

A person who loves money very much can hardly love his children at any time. These two are like gods and the god of wealth, like ice and charcoal.

These poor students with empty pockets rely entirely on work-study programs and self-reliance.

Although we have not seen the poor in India, Africa and South America, we can never completely forget their existence.

Thirty-eight, money is a passport to get rid of the army in any area except heaven; At the same time, it can also provide us with anything except happiness.

39. Too careful concern for wealth smacks of greed. Even if you treat money with too much intentional and unnatural generosity, you are too lazy to command and care.

Forty years old, I've always wanted to travel. When I have time, I have no money. When I have money, I have no time. I have both time and money, but we are too old to walk. Money and time are excuses. If you don't have much money, you can travel with friends and choose a place that doesn't need money for an outing. When time is not enough, you can choose a closer place, bring your relatives and parents and have a happy weekend. Let's start our journey while we can still walk!

4 1. Money is not happiness. A person can be happy even if he is poor.

I spent a lot of money last night, which makes my pocket empty now.

The top secret of a country is where the taxpayer's money goes.

44. Excessive extravagance and waste is obviously a taboo for ordinary families and enterprises. Many wealthy businessmen have fallen into poverty and even become destitute because they have nothing to eat.

Forty-five, people who are drunk will be sober, and people who are obsessed with money will never be sober.

46. Those who serve God for money will also work hard for the devil for more money.

Forty-seven, poor, and suffering from physical illness and mental pain.

48. Without her mother, Charlie Chaplin was at best a poor child in Victorian London.

At forty-nine, he was addicted to gambling, but he lost nine out of ten, and finally he was reduced to the point of being rich.

Fifty, when you are poor, you really love each other; When we are rich, we no longer love each other. Is love nourished by poverty in the past or submerged by wealth now?

5 1. Although I have three meals and my pockets are empty, I am by no means something in the pool.

Although I am penniless, I am determined to wait for the opportunity to make a comeback.

I just spent all my money on clothes. My pockets are empty now.

I don't even have a penny on me. It's really empty pockets

Fifty-five, people who don't make money themselves are often not greedy for money; People who make their own money have one thing to think about.

56. After paying the rent, I have no hands, so I have to let you invite me to dinner.

Fifty-seven, he can only kill his original potential with wine during his poor journey.

58. People who believe that money talks will always do it for money.

I beg you to marry me. Although I have no car, no money, no house and no diamond ring, I have a heart to accompany you to your old age! When you are old, I will still carry you, and I will be your crutch; When you have no teeth, I will chew them up and feed them to you. I must wait for you to die, or I will leave you alone in this world, and no one will take care of you, and I won't be at ease being a ghost!

60. The new financial system established by Hamilton has helped this young country successfully change from a country without a family to an economic power.

While complaining about his poverty, he couldn't help his curiosity.

Sixty-two, save money when you pay your salary, so as not to go to empty pockets at the end of the month.

Sixty-three, because of drug abuse, he not only destroyed his body, but also left the originally well-off family destitute.

Although he was received by rich people and received tickets for theaters and concerts, he was still penniless.

Sixty-five, most homeless people don't know a word. Faced with their own poverty, their minds are also blank and helpless.

66.9.21After the earthquake, many victims fell into family difficulties and needed help from all walks of life.

If your pockets are empty, but you want to have a big holiday meal, how about lobster?

Sixty-eight, he used to be rich, but now he has become poor because of some mistakes.

69. Money can buy tonic, but it can't buy health. Money can buy food, but it can't buy appetite; Money can buy books, but not knowledge; Money can buy clocks, but not time.

Seventy, we are more obsessed with money than empty dignity. Although money can't buy dignity, people who voluntarily give up dignity are another matter.

7 1. They asked for more money, but we have emptied our pockets.

72. The rich are afraid that others will know that he has money, while the poor are afraid that others will know that he has no money.

Seventy-three-year-old Chairman Li has never forgotten the difficulties at home since he was a child, so he is crazy about helping out-of-school children.

Seventy-four, I saw him shopping and touched my pocket, only to find that my pocket was empty.

Seventy-five, no one does not think that this once aristocratic class has been down and out, but this view clearly exposes the attitude of quick success and instant benefit.

76. We can live without money, but we can't live without dignity. Money can't buy dignity, but dignity has to be helpless because of money. This is where we are today.

In 1977, he failed in business and lost all his capital. Now he is a member of the family.

Seventy-eight, his family is poor and has little property around him, so he can be called a family.

With money, you can do a lot of things in this world, but only youth can't be bought with money.

Eighty, money is not everything, but no money is absolutely impossible.

This month's expenses are too high, and we will have empty pockets before the end of the month.

Money can buy a house, but not a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

Life hasn't improved since he started gambling and ended up penniless.

He was down and out at that time, but he never gave up his persistent career.

The more you love money, the more it will kill you.

Men become bad when they have money, yes, many men do, but men who have money become bad, even if they have no money, are not much better.

He sold all his property to gamble, and now he is penniless.

88. Silver now understands why Mr. Mazu has changed from a respectable man with a rich family to a poor alcoholic, and all his property has gone to the devil.

He used to be a prodigy and was very famous, but now he is down and out.

90. When we get money and power by improper means, we will inevitably lose our personality and dignity.

199 1 year, when he came to America empty-handed, he didn't expect that he was now rich and became a corporate celebrity.

Money can buy a person's body, but not a person's love.

93. A devastating earthquake turned many people from rich to poor.

He was stripped naked by pickpockets and didn't even have the money to buy a ticket.

This is why so many people get on the train and go to the city, thinking that they can improve their poor life.

202 1 a complete collection of funny characters

1, be a calm person, be a kind person, be a person with a smile on his mouth and happiness in his heart.

2. The smallest good deed is better than the greatest good thought.

One day, I will meet someone who won't leave me.

I really want to put you in my trouser pocket and take you with me wherever you go.

5. What we have been obsessed with is gradually forgotten in the process of obsession.

6. There are cigarettes, alcohol and chicks, but there is no gay friends.

7. menstruation is like a big wolf. When he leaves, he always shouts: I will definitely come back.

8. Don't blame your parents for small breasts, and don't thank the country for big birds.

9. Whenever you do something, think about it.

10, what I want is so simple, but you don't understand.

1 1. I don't think you are a qualified friend. You better be my wife!

12, I don't know Wu Bai very well, but his brother 250 knows me very well.

13, the so-called life is to stand up and walk with a smile no matter how painful you are.

14, control your temper, and occasionally deliberately silence, because impulse will do irreparable things.

15, I feel so unfortunate that the world can know so much about you.

16, teacher, when you put on this cassock, you will be an old man.

17. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

Please don't let go of your dreams quietly. Sooner or later, it will shine in your hands

19, please turn back, the road ahead is waiting for you, don't let people hold you back.

20, occasionally be realistic and hypocritical, because otherwise, it is difficult to get along.

2 1, urine, niao, is actually a polyphonic word ... it is even pronounced sui, which actually means urine. ...

22. If you save enough 4.5 yuan and I save enough 4.5 yuan, we can get married in the Civil Affairs Bureau.

23. You look serious as if you can really understand people!

24. Your name is in my mind.

25. You don't need my intervention.

26, the dream is gone, the heart is broken, and staying is just to prepare for leaving.

27. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates.

Never mind, I have a future without you.

29. Boss, give me a beautiful haircut. I want to run with the bull.

30. I saw the long-lost sunshine. In fact, happiness has always been there.

3 1. Is the dullness after passion still not love?

32. Waiting has nothing to do with time and is a habit. It grows freely and I can't resist it.

I passed your heart, not because I didn't want to stay, but because you refused to accept it.

If you don't want to be an obstacle to your loneliness, try to get used to it forever.

35. It's not that you don't pursue it, but you don't insist. Live your life calmly.

36. Not that it's not warm. It's just that I'm afraid of being out of place in this cold world.

37. I wanted to turn around gorgeously, but I hit the wall in a low-key way.

38. Love your parents, because they give you life, and they are also the most selfless people who love you.

Interesting encyclopedia

1, the examination room is like a battlefield, either you die or I die. I called my date and she answered.

3. At the beginning of life, nature is good, you pay, I eat.

4, ten million health care, all health care, psychological balance is the key.

When the road is rough, shout loudly and move on.

6. I don't have this talent, and I accept you and her.

7. Don't say you have nothing. You are still sick.

8. All's well that ends well for lovers, and all's well for rich people.

As long as you don't let go, I can love you for a long time.

10, if it's not amazing, it's ugly!

1 1. The cold wind has been blowing all day, and it seems to be much colder.

12, the fish lived in the tears of water, but died in the arms of the chopping board.

13. If you can think of me in the future, I hope it will be a warm moment.

14. The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

15, I can't be a man without you, how can I love my lover?

16, whoever uses a honey trap for me, I will play along.

17, a handsome man like me will always be found out by the teacher when he is absent from class.

18, I really can't see you so close to me because I am blind.

19, you said we would grow old together, but you secretly baked oil.

20. All roads lead to Rome, and sisters lead to the examination room!

2 1, the best love is to let go of your hand, and the best let go is to beat him to death.

22, Lao tze came to this world, it is impossible to go back alive.

23. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

24. My schizophrenia has been cured, and now I and I are living well.

It is your responsibility to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!

26, don't worry about my sense of security, you think I am a special anti-virus software.

27, throw you a tiger cage, the tiger dare not eat, you are too jealous of your teeth.

28. Why are there tears in my eyes? Because yawning loves me deeply.

29. One thousand and one wishes are too many. I just need to realize one thing.

30. Many people climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that the ladder is on the wrong wall.

3 1, because you have a double chin, you can't bow your head when you encounter any difficulties.

32. If you don't pick up a dime on the ground, you are crazy if there is a dime online.

33. You are a warm air mass, and I am a cold air mass. When I met you, I couldn't stop crying.

Please get to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

35. Nowadays, college students are so incompetent! Come and copy the porn and cut it out!

36. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

37. The best love is to be happy and still be loved.

38. Don't think you are texting in class. I don't know who will giggle at the crotch.

39. In the past, beautiful women played non-mainstream, but now fat pigs are rampant. What's wrong with that?

40. Happiness is to look at your watch when you wake up every morning, but you can sleep for another half an hour.

4 1, you said you were always behind me, so did you pick up the money I dropped last time?

42. Who says the result is not important? Why should I give the fruits of my efforts to others?

43. Don't always talk about my face. Beauty is not outstanding, ugliness is not novel.

44. If you feel sick and retching when brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror.

45. The left brain is full of water and the right brain is full of flour. It's just a matter of moving, and everything is burnt.

46. There is a sad name. This math problem is beyond my Chinese comprehension.

47. I saw you hide yourself with a leaf, but I smiled and brushed the dirt off you.

48. I have never understood mathematics since I picked up a pen that fell to the ground in the first grade.

49. I hate people who don't reply when I send messages to others for a long time. Don't look, I'm talking about you.

50. I am strong, at least I won't be deleted like you.

5 1, a greeting fills youth, others can't hear it, and the years are condensed in your sight.

52. People say things and fart. Talking and farting are just one breath.

53. The loveliest man in the world is a lip service and a playboy, but he has a girl in his heart.

54. When do you think boys are the most attractive? It's the most charming when you shit! Beat you to death!

The main reason why I don't study well is that the teacher is ugly. If she is beautiful, I will study hard.

56, I finally found a problem, I have no sexual orientation, I like all good-looking people.

You should remember that no matter what we are unfamiliar with in the end, a red envelope can go back to the beginning.

Every time I see a thin person in the street, I want to give her some meat because I have a kind heart.

59. If no teacher can teach all subjects, why should a student learn all subjects?

60. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk. That's it.

6 1. Yesterday someone called me ugly, and I cried on the spot. I am very sad, and I feel sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.

62. I don't wrestle with pigs for two reasons: one is to make me dirty, and the other is to make pigs happy.

63. It is said that when a girl is angry, she will hold her down and kiss her hard, but why am I beaten by her boyfriend?

Chastity varies from person to person. For example, people will praise a girl as a virgin, but they will also laugh at a boy as a virgin.

65. When you get married in the future, and it's not me, I'll move in next door and be a quiet old king. .

66. Don't look at what you should see, don't say what you shouldn't say, don't listen to what you shouldn't listen to, and don't think about what you should do.

67. I always feel that there is something stuck in the chrysanthemum, and I actually pulled out half of the Flammulina velutipes. I fed it to the landlord without stint.

68. One day, my love for you will be rewarded in the same way, just as the closer I am to your router, the stronger the signal will be.

69. The biggest failure of a man is not that no girl likes him, but that the girl who likes him feels that she was blind at the beginning.

70. He always calls me Neil. Sometimes he will call me daughter-in-law, my wife before going to bed, my wife in the morning and my baby when I am happy.

7 1, when will there be a bright moon? Ask about Sky Wine and say, Fuck you, I'm so busy, how can I ignore you and watch the weather forecast by myself!

Please solve the problem of surplus agricultural products in your city as soon as possible. In today's speech, at least 200 kilograms of tomatoes were thrown on the stage.

73. Since the third grade, this is our eighth year together. We broke up five times. But no one can live without anyone. We are getting married next month.

74. To tell you a secret, please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the side. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!

75. Song Meiling said that she liked the French phoenix tree, which Chiang Kai-shek planted everywhere in Nanjing. You said you liked the sea, and I wasted my whole youth.

A successful man can earn more money than his wife spends, and a successful woman can also find such a man.

77, love is very strange, everything is the mind, and finally everything can be forgiven; As Tagore said: eyes are raining for her, but heart is holding an umbrella for her.

78. On the long journey of life, we almost passed by. You gently hold my hand. I wish these warm hands could hold me forever!

79. Now everyone calls themselves ugly, and when they explode, they become beautiful dogs. They all say that they are scum, but they abuse the exam into slag; Sighing about the poor sense of music all day, singing K becomes Mai Ba.

80. It took five minutes to get up this time, and you have beaten 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed.

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to drive Lamborghini to pick up girls? Do you want to light a cigarette with money? Then what are you waiting for? Wash and sleep quickly!

82. I care about heaven and earth because there is your puzzled smile between them; Intoxicating eyes; Voice of nature; A moving figure; When the elves of light sing and dance in the morning light.

83. Actually, I like math very much. It has no circuitous language, English grammar, historical and political complexity and information, but it just can't do it, can't do it, can't do it!

84. The sun shines, flowers smile at me, and birds say early. Why are you carrying explosives? I went to bomb the school, and the teacher didn't know. I ran away with a hidden thread. The school exploded with a bang.

85. There is a girl's gun in the class. One day, I quarreled with another classmate, who humiliated him and said, Hello, Mom! He said, hello, son. The whole class was silent. Three seconds later, the applause thundered and lasted for a long time.