Before marriage, the man had no money at home. How can he talk about bride price?

Their situation seems to be that the man can't get the money; But in fact, there is more than money between them. It also involves communication style, trust, problem-solving ability and whether the two families agree with each other.

Let's talk about communication methods first. When discussing the bride price, the two sides did not communicate with each other in order to find a solution, but stood on their own position and tried to persuade the other side to satisfy themselves, which led to the two sides not seeing the original intention of their families clearly and treating the objective difficulties as the other side's intentional embarrassment, which also led to the crisis of trust between the two people.

But in fact, even if there is no bride price, the trust between two people may not be strong enough, because when it comes to interests, they think of "you" and "me" instead of us, and they don't regard each other as their family. It can be said that their crisis of trust has always been potential.

Let's talk about the ability of two people to solve problems first. I analyzed their situation and found that although they have been together for five years, their relationship has been very smooth without any major setbacks. However, it may also be because they live too smoothly and lack communication skills, coordination skills and emotional management skills, which leads to their lack of ability to solve problems, and the bride price naturally becomes a hurdle for them before marriage.

Finally, talk about the problems of two families. There is no doubt that there is a big gap between them in their family background. One is the phoenix man in the countryside, and the other is the only daughter in the city. Their family is not only poor in economic level, but also poor in ideas, family models and ways of doing things. Looking at it separately, Xiao Jing's parents want their daughter to have a guarantee, and there is nothing wrong. It is understandable that the boyfriend's parents have worked hard all their lives and can't get the money, but it will be difficult for such two families to achieve mutual recognition.

Fortunately, under the guidance and advice of lemon, the relationship between Xiao Jing and her boyfriend has eased, and both of them are seriously trying to communicate and negotiate to prepare for further solving the problem. I believe their relationship will get better and better.

Of course, there are many couples in reality who are worse off than Xiao Jing and her boyfriend. Some of them find that the other half is a brother-in-law or a mother-in-law, but they are reluctant to break up. Some find that the other half has personality problems or bad hobbies, and foresee possible problems in future marriage; Some find that they don't love each other so much, and their feelings are getting weaker and weaker in the long-term relationship; Others find that the other person's family background is very unbearable, and they don't get the respect they deserve, which is unacceptable. ...

These problems and situations were discovered when they talked with the other half about the bride price. Therefore, although talking about money hurts feelings, if you don't talk about money, you may not really know this person and the family behind him, because only when it comes to interests can you really see a person clearly.

Finally, lemon wants to say, don't be afraid to talk about money with your partner, let alone think that talking about money is snobbery and money worship. There is nothing wrong with the reality of adults. After all, life costs money. Moreover, as long as you use the right way, talking about money will not only hurt each other, but also test your feelings.