People who like themselves are poor.

A failed man likes to compare his wife with others, and a successful woman likes to compare her husband with others.

Women are wonderful, they can have children and sleep; She jumps when she sees silver, and laughs when she has food; No money, no face, no tone change, talking like a ghost!

Have a level, no temper, a saint; Have a level, a temper, and a sage; No level, no temper, mediocrity; No level, no temper, bad guy.

The first-class children are blessed, the second-class children are angry when they leave, the third-class children are lucky, and the fourth-class children are angry.

If you mess with me again, I will economically block you, politically isolate you, mentally torture you, physically destroy you and abandon you in life.

If a man is fined for parking illegally, he will quarrel with the police, and the woman will persuade him; If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.

Like is a touch of love; One love one is deep love!

The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest. Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but also birdmen!

I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

One moon, one you, two shadows, me and you, three students have the honor to know you, and the four beauties are not as good as you.

The biggest trouble for men is that they have too little money, and the biggest trouble for women is that they have too much money.

The useless things that men like to buy most are laptops, and the useless things that women like to buy most are shoes.

Men are good at discovering the shortcomings of their wives, while women are good at discovering the advantages of their husbands.

Men cheat because they are premeditated, while women cheat because they suppress loneliness.

Life is really interesting, because life always plays with me.

There are many beautiful women when you open magazines, many TV advertisements, many cliches when you pick up newspapers, and many signatures when you read articles.

I lost my appetite when I saw you. What else can I talk about?

You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human!

I do everything for my brother. I do everything for my brother for a woman.

Count the money and take a break until you wake up naturally!

Optimists just laugh and forget to complain; Pessimists focus on complaining and forget to laugh.

Let the future come and the past pass.

Men are used to rely on, so be reliable; Women should love each other, so they should be able to love each other.

A man with feelings is called conquest, and a woman with feelings is called stupidity.

When a woman tells you that she hates you, it means that she likes you. When a man tells you that he hates you, he really hates you.

Before forty, women have the idea of changing husbands, and after forty, men have the action of changing wives.

Men and women quarreled and got angry in the car. If a woman drives, she will slam on the brakes; If a person drives a car, he will slam on the accelerator.

When a man has money, he changes his mobile phone first, then his car, then his house and finally his clothes. Rich women are just the opposite.

Men learn English to prove that they are excellent, while women learn English to prove that they are no longer excellent.

The poorest man does not bargain when buying food, while the richest woman bargains when buying food.

Women are poor to please themselves, while men are poor to please themselves.

Write: women tolerate themselves, men pity themselves.

1. One day, I will never get drunk, and people will look up to me, smile properly and never mention you again.

2, a person, a city, fell in love with a person, fell in love with that city, wandered around this city, with his company, thinking that this is your paradise, the paradise of love, and feeling that happiness is actually so close! .

I walked into the crowd closest to you, but I never became the person you valued most.

4. The weather is unpredictable. Who knows what will happen later? He who laughs laughs laughs last.

5. You don't even have the minimum honesty. What responsibility do you have to talk to me about?

6, sometimes I will be sad to death alone, but you never know.

You are the star of my life.

8, don't take yourself too seriously, you are not a fucking good goods ~

9, women please themselves, men pity to please themselves.

10, don't, just because I don't love you, I should be hurt by you?

1 1, it's a pity that the scar is in my heart and I can only smile and greet.

12, I like that you take the initiative to come to me, so that I can be sure that you won't bother me.

13, people who are most afraid of caring suddenly change their tune and feel that the whole world doesn't want you.

14, facing it is not necessarily the most sad. Loneliness is not necessarily unhappy. It may not last long to get it. Lose, not necessarily no longer have. Don't love wrongly because of loneliness, and don't be lonely all your life because of wrong love.

15, the highest level of drinking is that I know who you are and you don't know who I am.

Talk about more interesting qq.

Talk about more interesting qq.

1, new job, customer service of a bank ~ Listen to the tape and hear all kinds of wonderful complaints about customer service. Hello, what can I do for you? Customer, I want to complain about a certain outlet! I go there to surf the Internet every day, so why not open it today! Is it personal? I want to complain!

2. Neighbor Lolita and her grandmother go for a walk in the square. Many old people are exercising in the square. Lolita ran behind a grandma who was swinging, pushed her and said, Grandma, I'll take you to the west. Grandma almost didn't get bitten and bleed.

In a music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune. The teacher asked Xiaoming, do you know what I play? Xiaoming said, "Of course I know you can play the piano."

My girlfriend lies in bed all day and doesn't help with housework. My temper is coming. You are too lazy. I have to wash clothes and cook by myself. What's your use? After that, I'll start letting her go.

My wife is an office worker, either working all day or working overtime. A friend asked her yesterday, do you have many paid holidays? She said angrily, "I don't have any holidays at all except once a month!" "

6. I have a friend who has a dog. One day, he visited his house, and his wife insisted on showing me a stunt. She asked, 1 plus 1 equals? Woof! 2 times 3? Woof woof woof! 9 square meters? Woof woof woof! I was completely shocked by what I saw and asked her how she did it. I asked my husband to bark like a dog.

7. Take my son for an injection. He kept crying because he was afraid of pain and told me that he would never give an injection again. After the injection, I held him in my arms and went to the canteen to buy a bag of delicious food. The son cried and asked, Mom, when is the next injection?

8. When I went out in the morning, my wife asked me where I was going. I teased her that I was going to Justin. She said, come on, take my work permit and park for free.

9. There is an aunt paying at the cashier. Cashier: Hello, it's * * * 68.8 yuan, thank you! After the aunt calmly gave 60 yuan, she grabbed two handfuls of fruit candy from the bag and counted 88 girls to the cashier. Gc is a mess. Aunt said, I still have some here. I'm afraid that if you don't have change, you'll find me candy again. I will bring them all.

10, the beautiful woman who stopped my car just now in front of the supermarket, I really didn't stop you, I just went to buy cigarettes. Don't keep pulling the door when you see the car stop.

1 1, the office goddess asked me, why are you always staring at me when you have something to do? I said, romance depends on what you do, and I look at your son's work.

12. When I went to the drugstore in the afternoon, an old lady took a box of condoms from the shelf and asked the pharmacist, what is this? The pharmacist replied, condoms. The old lady replied that she was old and didn't know.

13. Little nephew is in the second grade. When he came back from his physical examination, all the adults in the family were in the living room. Asked my uncle how much his eyesight was, my uncle answered 5. 0,5。 0。 Then he proudly said that he was 5 years old. 0,5。 2。 My uncle casually perfunctory, he said, better than me, better than me! As a result, he was even more proud and began to read his physical examination form aloud. His height was xxx, his weight was xx, his heart was normal and his foreskin was long. Then everyone was quiet.

14, I saw a boy pulling a girl in the morning and said in dismay, give me another chance, please! We agreed not to break up! The girl shook off the boy's hand and said, you are the bodhisattva in my heart now, and I don't want to do anything but worship.

15, when I was working part-time at KFC, an aunt came and said to give me shredded potatoes. At that time, I was confused and said it was French fries. Aunt said yes!

16. Usually, saying good night actually means stopping talking. Brush Weibo and friends circle to listen to music and read books. Anyway, I won't talk, but I won't sleep for a while!

17. In the past two days, budget hotel chains have indicated that they have added fitting rooms on the basis of the original standard rooms, business rooms, single rooms and deluxe rooms to meet the needs of different customers.

18. Dialogue between two primary school students (first grade) Male: Are you a virgin? Woman: I am, and you? Man: I'm not a woman: then I won't play with you. Man: No, I'm not a good girl, but I'm a cancer, so don't go.

19, I took the bus today and asked the master what he wanted to do as a bus driver. The host looked at me calmly and then came back. I like the feeling of taking other people's lives into my own hands!

20, waiting for the bus at the station, suddenly a buddy next to him suddenly turned around and slapped the man behind him! It turns out that the man behind is a thief. The wallet in that buddy's trouser pocket was caught in a clip just now. The thief said sadly, aren't you just holding a wallet? Is it so cruel? Dude said savagely, wallet? You fucking grabbed my balls!

2 1, q, what is the greatest animal in the world? Answer, rooster. Ask, why? Answer: Because the rooster wakes people up in the morning when he is alive, and becomes a feather duster when he dies.

22, a wooden teacher, the performance of the students in this exam really makes me very anxious. In class, I asked, "Are you trying to annoy my rhythm?" ? Several students answered, not the rhythm, but the prelude.

23. In the car, on the right is a twin couple. Two children were playing a game, when mother suddenly patted her mother's chest with that one in her arms and said to the other, "This is the airport, dad said."

24. I remember when I was in high school, there was a funny classmate in my class who was caught by the director of education to fall in love. The head teacher severely criticized him at the class meeting and asked him to write a review and read it to the class. When this buddy heard this, he became angry. Is it wrong to love someone?

25, teacher, whoever comes up to solve it, you will finish class early! Xiao Ming stepped onto the podium table. Sister, I beg you, teacher, Xiao Ming stays and the other students are dismissed!

26. Dad, what is a wizard? Wizards are evil people who don't do good deeds. What about the witch? I know the witch, and the witch is the wizard's wife! Yes! ! !

27. A buddy just cried to me about the dark food he ate at night for a big adventure. What dishes do you have? Chicken wings with coke. Is this not good? How bad can it be? There are Fanta trotters, pulsating cabbage, Gowasu braised pork and Sprite preserved eggs.

More interesting personality, tell me about it.

More interesting personality talk:

1, lying smoking opium a hundred years ago, lying playing mobile phone a hundred years later, the posture is surprisingly similar! Maybe I don't have time to spend with my parents and children, or maybe I don't have time to be filial to my parents. I really spent a lot of time giggling with my mobile phone. Unconsciously, we have formed a terrible habit. The first thing to do when you open your eyes in the morning is to touch where your mobile phone is, and the last thing to do before going to bed at night is to play with your mobile phone. It seems that without it, we would be isolated from the world! In fact, today's smart phones, like opium, are eating away at our enthusiasm and soul! The furthest distance in the world is that I am by your side and you are playing with your mobile phone.

2. If a girl turns off her cell phone and turns it on again, and finds that there are more than 20 missed calls, she will feel happy and die instantly. If a boy turns off his mobile phone and turns it on again, and finds that there are more than 20 missed calls, she will feel dead this time.

Who hasn't been tortured by reality from a kind-hearted child to a deep-seated madman.

4, a buddy went to the grave on Qingming Day and lamented: Now the paper money is made the same as it really is, and there is still some inexplicable distress when it is burned. After a wry smile, his wife called and said; Didn't you go to the grave? Why don't you bring the paper money on the table? Also: Where did the 60,000 yuan I just withdrew today go? This guy cried in the grave several times after hearing this. Passers-by praised them in succession. How filial! It's really rare to cry like this when sweeping the grave now ~ ~ ~

The landlord blew up this card until it was finally played. It must be played at the beginning. If someone hits three, you blow up. He even began to doubt life. Blow him so hard that he can't sign it. The explosion made him thirsty. Then a single three, to confuse the effect, let the opponent's head rumble.

6. Sitting alone in a car worth hundreds of millions, I don't feel happy at all. The driver drove all the way. I have no intention of enjoying the scenery along the way. I have a lot of thoughts and thoughts: what is people living for? Is wealth that important? Which is more important to a country, democracy or GDp? When will the rule of law be realized? Are you too hasty? I was meditating and looked up: Nima, the subway stopped again. . .

7. Go your own way and let others have no choice.

8, this head is the worst! /kloc killed his father at the age of 0/3, pushed his mother into the river at the age of 0/5, and died at the age of 0/7! I looked at her for less than 5 minutes, and my tears came down-elder sister, I think this is a misunderstanding.

I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.

10, in this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

1 1, fried dough sticks: not bitter, immature; Always suffer, and you will become a smooth operator.

12, the limit you think is only the starting point of others.

13, a great person like me, when I want someone to appreciate me, I will look in the mirror.

Where does our happiness come from? It is not a huge improvement, not many times better, but a steady and continuous improvement of the status quo.

15, if you can't get to the point, you can bring it to life.

16, we walk so fast that our souls can't keep up.

17, pretending to grab it from the doll.

18, what most people call kindness is just that they don't have the opportunity and power to do evil.

19, you must be cruel, even if you fart, it will be louder than others.

20, the three elements of success, one is persistence, the other is shameless, and the third is persistence.

Say a word with more personality:

1. It is said that those girls who have been single for a long time have gradually become the men they want to marry most.

Don't pay attention to those who are hot and cold to you, they will only think of you when no one is with them.

Don't persuade me to be generous if you don't know my suffering.

You never read my mind. You blame me for being fickle and hard to understand.

We've gone through thousands of times together, but it's not as good as meeting for the first time.

6. Boys who are equally good to all girls are the most terrible.

7. When it rains, I will give you an umbrella. You don't like me. I will find you a new lover. You are happy first, and I will talk about it later.

8. The biggest sorrow in life is not that you can't get it or lose it, but that you don't know what you want at all.

9. Whether it's a thousand pets or a person walking.

10. Remember everyone who is kind to you, because they can't do it.

1 1. Many things, only when the distance is getting farther and farther, can we look back clearly.

12. The older you grow up, the more you feel that it is rare to meet someone who can say the first half of the sentence to spoil you.

13. If you don't answer the phone once, don't call again. If you don't reply twice, don't send it a third time. Don't compromise for someone who doesn't care about you.

14. Selling stupidity is just to make you happy, and you are picky.

15. As long as you say goodbye bravely, life will definitely give you a new beginning.

16. You smiled inadvertently. I studied for many years, even though I knew it wasn't for me.

17. Starbucks, a photo studio with the theme of coffee shop. KFC, a public toilet with the theme of fast food restaurant. School, a marriage agency with the theme of learning.

18. No matter whether someone loves us or not, we must try to be a lovely person. Don't blame anyone, don't laugh at anyone, don't envy anyone, run in the sun, dream your own dreams and go your own way.

19. Today is the day when my girlfriend starts school. Take her to school. Some young fresh meat has arrived. Just as these students passed by us, my girlfriend said, Go home, don't send them off, Dad.

20. Memories are too heavy and words are too light.

2 1. Maybe I won't get married. When I'm 70 or 80 years old, I'll walk around the street with a group of dogs, and I'll be a cool old lady when I get old.

22. I had a quarrel with my dad at dinner. Just now, he wanted to scold me Later, he got emotional and slapped me in the face. At that time, I wanted to ease the atmosphere. I mean, dad, are you hungry? Let me get you something to eat. You didn't eat, did you?

It seems that I can never control my feelings properly.

24. I envy two kinds of girls, one is a good thief in the game, the other is the power in the game pit, but I can be spoiled. I'm stuck in the middle, but I won't be spoiled in the pit, but I swear.

25. If you have a dream, realize it silently. If you have someone you love, try to make her happy. There is no need for the whole world to know.

26. Don't invite too many people into your life. If they can't get into your heart, they will only disturb your life and make it crowded.

27. In addition to being sentimental in the middle of the night, there is also a mobile phone to hit the face.

28. The best tacit understanding in the world is not that someone understands what you mean, but that someone understands what you want to say.

29. I still like you very much, swearing all over the street like a bitch, making trouble without reason.

30. I don't drink water that others have drunk, and I'm not interested in sharing the same person with others.