32 effective "good behavior training skills" to make your child better.

Recently, I saw a news that Lego, a Danish toy company, and Bestattungsmuseum, a funeral home in Vienna Central Cemetery, jointly launched a building block toy with the theme of funeral. * * * There are three sets: the cemetery set, which consists of tombstones, graves, excavators and cemetery staff; Crematorium, including incinerators and coffins; The sad family suit contains the roles of parents and children, a dead man and a skeleton.

The theme design covers the process of burning, burial and final farewell.

But do netizens buy it?

Some netizens said that funeral toys are "a good design", and building blocks together can be a good opportunity to talk about death with children, which can better "let children understand that death is a necessary process of life".

However, some parents worry that it will leave a shadow in the hearts of immature children.

The same toy will actually divide parents into two factions, and one party will definitely support it, "I will definitely buy it for my children"; The other party "will never buy it."

The reason may be that parents have different perceptions, so they think differently.

Toys are bought for children to play with, but parents screen them and decide whether to buy them for their children.

So, what if it rises to the level of educational philosophy?

Do different children need to be treated differently and be educated in different ways?

Is there an authoritative parenting book that can definitely tell you what to do and what not to do in the process of educating children, so simple, rude and crisp?

This "Magic Book of Positive Discipline" lists 32 effective "good behavior development skills", which is summarized by the author according to the research results of children's psychology and combined with his own practice, and has certain authority.

Amy McCready, the author of this book, is a famous American expert in early childhood education. She has published several bestsellers, such as Don't make me say it again, Don't nag, Don't remind, Don't make a hullabaloo about, and Let the children listen to you.

As children grow up, the desire to pursue independence will become stronger and stronger. They often long for more freedom, want to make some choices and decisions by themselves, and want to have more control over their lives.

The book tells us that when a child asks you for more freedom, you can choose one of the three options of "yes", "no" and "convince me" to answer the child.

It is easy to judge whether it is good or not, but if you are worried and think that your child's request is really reasonable, let him convince you with his reasons.

In this way, children will not only think that you are democratic, but also think that you respect him as an adult. And in order to convince you, he will filter the problem and look at it more comprehensively and concretely.

It should be noted that in the process of children's presentation, don't interrupt, you need to listen with an open attitude. If you think the plan put forward by your child is feasible, you can add some basic rules and conditions and then let him do it; But if you think the risk is too great, or the child is obviously incapable of doing something, you can refuse him.

My 12-year-old son said that he wanted to visit the Natural History Museum with some classmates. Parents who have always been strict with him naturally disagree.

The child came prepared and said several reasons in one breath: going with three other boys, one of whom lives near the natural history museum and won't get lost; The mobile phone is fully charged and carries a charging treasure with you to ensure that you can contact your family at any time; Be sure to go home before evening; In fact, I have some independent ability, but my parents have been unable to let go, so I don't understand. ...

Parents saw that he had made such meticulous arrangements, and other relatives said that the child should be properly let go when he was older, and finally let him go.

This time, the child had a good time, which proved that he was not a spoiled child in the eyes of his classmates. It was also the first time that he made his own decision and established his self-confidence.

Parents also feel that their children have grown up, which is very gratifying. Achieved a win-win effect.

But the book also tells us that you can only agree to your child's request after careful consideration and reasonable reasons.

The child is bound to fail.

Nelson mandela once said: Don't judge me by my success, please judge me by the number of times I got up after my failure.

Some parents feel uncomfortable at the thought that their children will stumble, and they can't wait to help their children do everything and pave all the roads for them.

However, if the child can face the failure by himself, it will be more beneficial to his growth. In addition, you can talk to your child in detail about the reasons for the failure and encourage him to do better next time.

My friend's daughter forgot to dance in a performance in kindergarten, crying and waving her arms wildly until the music stopped. She has been crying since she stepped down.

A friend told her daughter that she was not the only one who jumped wrong. Some children can't keep up with the beat and stand in the same place. Her improvisation is not bad. Some parents in the audience said that the little girl has good adaptability and coordinated body movements, which is very cute.

My daughter stopped crying and asked her what resilience was. The friend thought for a moment and said, "This ability is also needed by adults. My mother lacks this ability in the workplace and needs to learn from you. "

My daughter was very happy and said that she would cheer with her mother.

When a child is faced with failure, you should tell him that your greatest expectation for him is that he can do his best and have a clear conscience. As for the ending, it is really not that important. I failed this time, and there will be another time. Life is a process of trial and error, and attitude is the most important thing.

Imagine this:

Before going to bed, you forgot to put the books you want to return to your colleagues the next day in your bag. I got up in the morning and left in a hurry. I forgot about it and was complained by my colleagues.

Stay up late at night to catch a play, thinking about covering your dark circles the next day, but you obviously don't have time to take care of yourself when you get up late, so you will be seen by him when you meet a male god.

For example, you accidentally put a glass of water next to your mobile phone, and after a while, you accidentally knocked over the cup, and your mobile phone was soaked.

You can only bear the consequences of all this silently, but these are obviously avoidable.

In the world of children, the worst thing is that you don't have to bear any consequences for your bad behavior since childhood.

The book tells us that in the process of a child's growth, parents will always pay for his bad behavior, not let him bear the consequences. Therefore, he seldom considers the influence of his actions on others, takes an irresponsible lifestyle for granted, and lets his temper be confused.

There is such a bloody example around you.

The baby was injured by an apple falling from the sky, and the perpetrator was a girl of 1 1 year; The fire extinguisher fell from the sky and killed people. The boy who started working is only 10 years old. 14-year-old Xiong Haizi threw stones at the expressway and smashed cars. Many cars were smashed, and the drivers fell into a tourist trap.

How can it not be sad that these important events that affect people's lives actually come from children?

The book suggests that taking the consequences alone can exercise the child's rational thinking ability, because it will teach him to evaluate all options according to possible consequences.

Parents must be more disciplined, and don't think that "the child is still young", "he is just a child", "otherwise you can arrest him" and "what's the big deal, I will lose money" ...

As everyone knows, you will harm the child. Your indulgence today will make him deviate from the normal track, make him despise life, make him take others seriously, and will not have empathy.

Let children learn how to survive from life. Although he may resist this method at first, when he begins to make the right choice by himself and see the positive consequences with his own eyes, his original selfishness of "doing what I want" will become less and less.

Alfred Alfred adler said, "Everything a child does seems to express his whole life and personality. Without understanding this hidden background, you can't understand what he does. "

And how to cultivate an independent and grateful child in a simple and effective way, you will get the answer from this positive discipline magic book.