Xiao Degang Guo of Southwest Jiaotong University Performs Original Crosstalk —— Lines from "Three Good Students"

B: Alas.

A: Many students, who have no seats, are standing, and their hearts are full of patience.

B: Yes.

To show our sympathy for you, we all decided to make sacrifices.

B: Sacrifice what?

A: We should stand with you.

B: Isn't that nonsense? Who has seen two crosstalk performers sitting and talking? !

A: Every autumn in September, the air is fresh.

Not exactly.

We finally welcomed our new classmates.

B: How can it be "finally"?

A: Nonsense. It took more than half a year to "welcome the new"

Oh, yes.

Well, a lot happened in the first six months. What are you, H 1N 1, SARS, bird flu, ...

Why are they all crowded together? !

This helps.

Is this yours?

Who got this? ! In other words, there are many unexpected things, so we must pay attention to them. In order to ensure everyone's safety, almost all public activities have been cancelled. Our hospital is also wanted. ...

B: Alas-the fugitive from our first hospital?

A: Oh, sorry, I was informed.

B: You made it very clear.

A: So, this is for everyone's good. I hope you will forgive me.

B: Alas. You are very considerate of people being cold.

A: Gee, it's really impressive to look at such freshmen, especially freshmen.

B: I'm looking forward to this day.

A: Autumn 10, autumn is crisp.

B: That's right.

A: It's been a month since school started, and many girls haven't found boyfriends yet. As a senior, I am worried about you.

What's the matter with you?

A: Next is 165438+ October, and the autumn is crisp.

B: It's still "crisp in autumn".

A: One month.

Hmm.

A: There are still some boys who don't have girlfriends-

Are you in a hurry again?

A: I'm glad.

B: what kind of humanity is this!

A: June 5438+ February, autumn is crisp.

You know the word "crisp autumn", right?

A: Nothing.

It's nothing. What does this mean? !

A: It's June 5438+ 10, and it's crisp in autumn.

B: This man can't be changed.

Everyone has a holiday. We will spend the New Year at home in February. But I am very uncomfortable at home.

B: Then why?

A: I miss these new classmates very much, especially the new female classmates.

B: Don't even think about it.

A: Today I finally look forward to March, and the autumn is crisp.

So it's autumn all year round?

A: Tonight is the welcome party.

B: Alas.

A: Many hospital leaders came to the scene in person.

B: That's right.

The dean is here.

B: Yes.

Here comes the secretary.

Hmm.

A: I'm here too.

B: (laughs) You have to move to the back.

A: The people present here are mainly freshmen.

B: Alas.

Actually, I'm also a freshman.

Are you a freshman too?

A: More than a year or two.

B: (Laughter) Just say you are a junior, and it's over.

Well, I'm a little older than him. You can call me big brother and call him second brother. We also have a younger brother Sha. ...

B: All right! I am a pig, right?

A: This is a performance. Don't say that.

You can't make fun of me either.

Please forgive me, my partner. I'm not in good health recently.

B: Why not?

A: It's just that the hemorrhoids on my face have recurred.

B: Nonsense! Do you have hemorrhoids on your face? !

A: I drank 100 kg of cold medicine and it didn't get better.

B: Come on, come on! What kind of hemorrhoids and cold medicine? ! If you want to talk about me, talk about me. Don't keep hurting me!

A: OK. Now that I have talked about you, I will give you a special topic through today's program to discuss how to deal with you.

B: against me?

A: That's right. Expose your hidden history to everyone.

Is that what you said? You have to introduce me to everyone realistically!

A: That's right. It should be, it should be. Now I want to introduce you to the person next to me.

B: Go ahead.

This guy ...

B: Wait a minute. What do you mean "this guy"?

A: I think it is in many classic books. What an asshole ...

This is a derogatory term, you know?

A: Oh. Then change it. This bird man ...

B: that's even more wrong!

This is an ancient honorific title.

Is this your honorific title? This swearing word! Change it quickly.

A: Alas. This guy-

That's more like it.

A: It's called "B's name".

B: It's me.

A noble man.

Hmm.

A: A pure person, a person who is free from vulgar tastes, and a good person who does not contain melamine!

B: (laughs) I've never drunk Sanlu.

A: You see, if you want to be famous, you have to be a power group or an idol group.

B: That's right.

A: I think you are a non-mainstream idol.

B: Oh. My idol is still not mainstream. What about you?

A: Me? Far from it. I'm already dead. I'm just a strength plus idol.

Oh, you're welcome

A: Alas! I don't study well either. I don't even have a professor.

B: You want to be blind too.

A: Just talk about school activities. I only participated in 30,000 or 40,000 times a year and won two prizes.

B: Are there so many activities? !

Can't compare with him.

Hey, you're too modest.

A: People take part in those activities once or twice a year and never win prizes.

No. Why do you say that?

A: Although I haven't won a prize, I still have ideals worth learning.

B: You're welcome.

A: Actually, he didn't want to come here at first. At first, he wanted to enter a famous school in England. What's the name of that study … Oh, it's called Oxford University.

B: Well, by the way, is there a University of Pig Liver?

What do you mean?

B: Nonsense! What is Oxford University? That's Oxford University!

Oh, yes, I just started thinking about it. I didn't pass the exam in the first year, but I almost did.

B: Alas.

A: It's just over 400 minutes.

Alas-I shouldn't have taken the exam at that time!

A: For the second time, I am going to take an examination of American universities, which are also world famous brands. It's called the University of Massachusetts.

B: Massingue University? This is called MIT!

Oh, please forgive me. There is something wrong with my mouth. However, it did not succeed.

I also failed the exam.

What if you fail the exam? Take this school for example.

B: Hmm.

A: Many things happen. After studying for more than ten years, I was admitted.

Well, I'm still a battle-hardened veteran.

When he came to the university, he still studied hard.

You should do this.

A: Although I have never told such a lie since I was a child. ...

Yes, you just lied, didn't you?

A: No, I am absolutely sincere in praising you here today. I don't mean that I praised him in front of so many people today, and he will give me 10 thousand yuan when I go back. No.

B: I'm not that stupid!

A: However, he is always so lonely, so his father is in a hurry, and so am I.

B: Don't bother!

A: However, besides that, we have to study hard and learn from others. As the saying goes: near Zhu Zhechi, near Mexico is black.

B: Alas, alas, what knowledge do you have? "Near Zhu Zhechi"!

A: That's right. "Near Zhu Zhechi, near Zhu Zhechi", this pig also wants to eat. ...

B: Did you change it to "eat" again? "Red" and "Near Zhu Zhechi"!

A: Yes, yes. Let's just say it anyway! This person can be called a three-good student!

Well, tell me more.

A: This guy is all-round in moral, intellectual and physical development. Let's talk about this "virtue" first.

B: morality.

A: Help others.

B: That's right.

A: Help girls have fun.

B: am I still sexist?

A: People's life creed is: if there is trouble, it will be saved.

B: That's right.

A: Help if there is no difficulty.

B: Alas-is this called helping others? !

A: Isn't this a time? After dinner with him, I went back to the dormitory. I walked to the bottom of Building 8 and saw a girl sitting on the grass with her head down.

Are you crying?

A: He looked at it and said, This must be trouble. Let's see if we can help others.

B: Let's have a look.

A: Go and have a look. Ah, this girl is really beautiful: she has long hair-not as long as mine, of course.

Oh-is that a girl?

A: I also praised a beautiful bag, a famous brand, what's it called, an AV brand.

B: AV? Lude

When he walked to the front, he acted like a very gentleman (with a smile).

B: Is this a gentleman or a bad gentry?

A: "Beauty, what's the matter?" "I lost something."

Oh, I lost something.

A: "Oh, I may have left it on your bed or somewhere on your desk. Go, go in together, I'll help you find it! "

B: Shall I go in and help her find it?

A: The girl slapped him: "I lost my motorcycle!"

B: Good! Ask clearly, yes!

A: That's it.

B: I still have it!

A: But people generally don't talk about these good deeds.

Do I have the courage to say it?

People always say-

B: Huh?

A: The golden cup and the silver cup are not as good as the stone tablet I camel.

Alas-I am that bastard. So what? !

A: This is "virtue". Let's talk about this "wisdom".

B: It's intelligence.

A: To tell the truth, I am very smart.

B: well, this brain is still a little.

A: In primary school, he memorized 26 English letters in half a year.

B: It takes six months to memorize 26 letters, so it's very clever.

A: When we were children, we were neighbors, and a boy played with us. One year during the Spring Festival, he went out with some sweets and asked him to meet him: "Hey, what's delicious in your pocket?"

B: Want to rob someone?

A: "I just won't tell you the candy I took."

B: That's stupid.

A: "Give it all to me!"

B: I'm quite horizontal.

A: "Guess, you have to guess how many sweets there are. I'll give you all three. " He was happy: "Five?"

B: Hey! Is this still a guess?

Look, it's really smart.

That's not good!

A: However, people's intelligence can't determine everything. The key is hard work.

B: That's right.

Look how cold it is this winter. Many people go to Internet cafes to keep warm, or stay in front of computers. He's different.

What about me?

A: Every day after dinner, I will find a classroom to study by myself.

Well, it's my habit.

A: In winter, think about it. It's uncomfortable to sit there. But when he read the book, he was so absorbed that he forgot everything.

Oh, seriously.

After a while, the wind blew in from the window and he woke up.

B: What about sleeping? Not reading!

A: This is wisdom.

B: this is not so good either!

A: Finally, the "body". To say this "body", there is really no comparison.

B: How about this?

A: First of all, literature and art are outstanding.

Tell me about it.

You see, every time there is a performance competition at school, he takes an active part.

That's positive.

A: On the stage, before the performance ended, a girl came over and presented him with flowers.

Hey, good.

A: Every time the flowers are so beautiful, they are usually white, tied into a circle, written in big black with a brush in the middle, and then sent up.

A wreath?

Oh, make him happy!

I am very happy. This!

Besides, I'm looking for his signature.

Someone wants my autograph?

A: Many people threw paper balls and shoes at him on the stage.

Do you want me to sign it or are you fooling me?

A: There are too many people to reach the back. Throw it to you for signature, and then throw it back.

B: this scene is too chaotic.

A: Followed by sports.

Oh, sports are also my hobby.

He likes dancing very much. He likes all kinds of Latin dances and folk dances.

B: That's right.

A: I heard that I am learning another dance recently. I forgot my name. Anyway, I always watch him practice with a pipe.

What you said has nothing to do with me. I haven't practiced!

A: And running, running every morning, even in winter.

Well, even in winter.

How cold it is outside in winter.

B: That's right.

A: Everyone, the alarm clock is set at 6 o'clock every night. As soon as the bell rings, it jumps up, puts on clothes and goes out for a run. But, ah, like this, it is also easy to go wrong.

What's wrong with that?

You know, once, in the morning, he went out for a run. He had only been running for a few minutes when he was stopped by the police. He doesn't know what happened.

B: Yes.

A: "Why? Is morning exercise not allowed? "

How dare I be so angry with the police?

A: The police said, "Morning exercises are fine. Go back and put on a pair of pants! " "

B: Alas-go!