"Son, let the daughter-in-law pay for the expenses at home, and don't let her take advantage." What should I do if I meet such a mother-in-law?

If there is a kind of love in this world that is selfless, totally unrequited, or even inexhaustible, it must be the love from parents. This kind of love is so deep, strong and great from beginning to end.

However, is this love really flawless? Not necessarily. It is under this kind of love that many parents wear filters and can only see the bright side, so they can't make a comprehensive judgment on their children, and it is difficult to be fair when dealing with people or things related to their children.

In their eyes, children are the best people in the world, with no shortcomings or deficiencies. Even if there are some minor problems, they can find legitimate reasons to convince themselves.

For example, if children's work is not smooth, they will feel that there is something wrong with the unit and their children's income is low. They will feel that they have no chance and their children can't find a partner. They will feel that others have no vision, and even if their children have incorrect views and eccentric behaviors, they will feel that it is no big deal.

In the face of children's marriage, such parents will think that their children are so excellent, and it is a great advantage for the other party to find their own children.

Influenced by the traditional thinking that "men marry in and women marry out", this extreme love of parents often has a greater influence on women in marriage. Especially as a mother-in-law's mother treats her daughter-in-law, it will be more intense. Many tensions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in life are rooted in her loving attitude.

02.

In the eyes of this mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law will always be an outsider. She will not only compete with her for her son's love, but also take advantage of her son. She will spare no effort to safeguard his interests.

There are many kinds of interests in marriage, such as the right to speak, status, family division of labor and so on, and money is the most intuitive point of interest. Therefore, some mothers regard it as their sacred duty not to let their sons lose money.

Once, Aunt Zhang downstairs was such a mother. She likes to complain about her daughter-in-law with people around her when she has nothing to do. Apart from some platitudes, what makes her most dissatisfied is the unfairness of the young couple in consumption. Aunt Zhang has always stressed that the money earned by her daughter-in-law has never been seen. All the expenses at home are borne by her son, and the daughter-in-law takes advantage of her son.

However, just a few months ago, Aunt Zhang was uncharacteristically. Instead of accusing my daughter-in-law, I began to praise her. The change is so great that we might as well start from the beginning.

Aunt Zhang's daughter-in-law is a small leader of a company, and her son is just an ordinary employee. But Aunt Zhang has been dissatisfied with this daughter-in-law since they fell in love. She thinks her son will get ahead in the future. This daughter-in-law is not worthy of her son, and she has a strong personality and is not gentle enough to take care of her son.

However, when my son looked for this daughter-in-law, Aunt Zhang Can didn't say much. She can only remind her son not to suffer, and not to let his daughter-in-law take advantage. What is exasperating is that my son always joked that he was the one who took advantage and his daughter-in-law lost a lot.

03.

In this way, the son and daughter-in-law entered the marriage hall, and the young couple were very happy. But from the moment of marriage, Aunt Zhang has been very nervous. She often runs to her son's daughter-in-law's house and stares at the couple's days when she has nothing to do.

Because the daughter-in-law is busy at work, she stays out of many things at home. Aunt Zhang's son does a lot of housework, such as buying food, cooking, washing clothes and sweeping the floor. A daughter-in-law can always coax her husband around.

These are great sins in the eyes of Aunt Zhang, which makes her even less fond of her daughter-in-law. Sometimes she will tell her daughter-in-law directly about her dissatisfaction and "educate" her daughter-in-law to be a wife.

Daughter-in-law always agrees with her request, and there will be some changes, but it is far from aunt Zhang's request. Originally, my daughter-in-law usually worked hard and had little communication with this mother-in-law. In addition, Aunt Zhang thinks that her daughter-in-law is perfunctory, even if she doesn't quarrel with her, it is arrogant.

This contradiction is not too serious under the care of my son. His son has always said that this is his voluntary behavior, and he doesn't think it is detrimental to his status and dignity. Aunt Zhang is still dissatisfied with this, but it is useless to say more.

Similarly, in addition to the above contradictions, Aunt Zhang also found that almost all the expenses in this family are borne by her son, whether it is buying rice and noodles or daily necessities, as long as Aunt Zhang sees it and thinks about it. And the more aunt Zhang pays attention, the more common this situation becomes.

04.

Aunt Zhang has also talked to her son many times. She knows that the young couple earn their own money and manage their own money. Therefore, she often worries that her son will suffer in the end if he can't save money, and she will joke in a reproachful tone: "We are still pointing to you saving money to buy us a house for the elderly. It seems hopeless. "

At this time, my son will always confidently say that he has a low position but a lot of income and will be able to buy it soon. Aunt Zhang waved her hand and said, "If you can save more for yourself, I will be satisfied. Don't just listen to your daughter-in-law if she has money. "

Unexpectedly, within two years, my son took his parents to see the house, which made Aunt Zhang and them so happy that they finally chose a house after many twists and turns. The only thing that upset Aunt Zhang was that her daughter-in-law always said that she was busy with her work and didn't go around to participate in the whole process. What is more irritating is that her son always talks to her daughter-in-law and defends her daughter-in-law.

In this way, the old man's house was settled. In the days that followed, my son often took his parents to decorate. As for furniture and home appliances, the son simply handed the salary card to his parents for them to choose in their leisure time.

Parents, of course, don't want to spend their son's hard money, so they buy some cheap furniture themselves, thinking about asking their son to come and take Kolor back one day.

On this day, my son received a phone call from his mother and came to his parents' house. Several people chatted for a while and the mother returned her son's bank card. Finally, the mother talked earnestly about her son's marriage.

05.

"I said my son has this ability. I just bought a house for my parents a few years ago, but I remember to save some money later. Don't spend everything on my own money. What I dislike most about you young couple is that your daughter-in-law does nothing for money. I really don't know where all her money went. This is obviously taking advantage of you. " Speaking of this, the mother sternly emphasized, "Son, let your daughter-in-law pay for the expenses at home, and don't let her take advantage."

Hearing this, my son began to feel sorry for his wife for a long time. He has been persuading his wife to be more patient and tolerant of her mother, but rarely really changes her prejudice against her.

Thinking of this, he said with shame, "Mom, you don't know that although I spent money on decoration, she bought the house where you are supporting the elderly." The first time you joked with me about buying you a house, I went back and told her. She was right at once and made a plan to buy a house efficiently. You know that's her character. However, my income was not included in her plan at all. "

Then the son paused and said, "She didn't ask me to tell you that neither of us spends money, as long as you are happy." Mom, you are really biased against your daughter-in-law. I feel very happy with her. I think I really took advantage of that. If you keep telling me that she is not good, you will ruin your son's marriage. "

The mother couldn't believe what her son said and asked many details. It turns out that some of the big expenses at home are borne by the daughter-in-law, while what the mother sees is only some small expenses.

Aunt Zhang, who knew all this, felt ashamed and ashamed instantly. After that, she completely changed her view of her daughter-in-law. She never complained to her neighbors and relatives again, only praised her daughter-in-law.

06.

The above is the story of Aunt Zhang and her son and daughter-in-law. It's rare to have the last laugh. However, there are still many families who have not finished their lives. Many mother-in-law still can't see what their daughter-in-law has done, or take advantage of her daughter-in-law as an outsider. All this stems from the mother-in-law's wrong positioning of her daughter-in-law's identity.

Daughter-in-law is not an outsider, but an important participant and creator of marriage and family happiness. Whether she can feel equal respect and care in the family often determines the atmosphere of the whole family.

As a mother-in-law, we should give more help to our son's marriage, especially to help young couples establish a correct concept of marriage and love, solve their problems and adjust their relationship. If the mother-in-law treats their marriage unfairly out of love for her son, this love will be a kind of harm.

Especially when it comes to their money, the original husband and wife are prone to problems because of uneven income and different consumption concepts. It is not easy to form their consumption habits harmoniously, let alone create more contradictions among them.

Finally, I still hope that all the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the family can be safe. After all, the family is rich and prosperous.