If your girlfriend doesn't listen.

1. Beware of anger and resentment. Although this book has discussed the issue of anger, through some unpleasant experiences, we are more convinced that everyone who wants to give up drinking needs to pay more attention to this issue.

Hostility, resentment and anger, no matter how we describe this state, are always related to our drunkenness, which makes our drinking problem more serious. In order to study this situation, some scientists specifically asked many alcoholics, "Why are you drunk?" They found that one of the most common answers is that because of this, they can reveal their worries to others.

In other words, they think that when they are drunk, they have the right to express their anger and dissatisfaction, which are usually difficult for them to face. I don't know how to deal with them. Some people think that alcohol has a subtle biochemical effect on the body, accompanied by anger.

An experimental study specifically for alcoholics shows that anger can cause some uncomfortable feelings in the blood of alcoholics, which is purely the result of binge drinking. A top psychologist said that alcoholics may also like the sense of power over others after drinking.

The facts reported by some newspapers, magazines and other media also show that alcoholism is highly correlated with violent attacks and murders. In some countries, including criminals or victims, a high proportion of them have accidents under the influence of alcohol.

Rape, family discord and divorce, child abuse and armed robbery are also often caused by promiscuity after drinking. Even if we don't commit the above-mentioned crimes, our temper and anger will make others feel nervous and worry about violence at any time.

Therefore, we must be aware of the hidden risks behind anger. As far as human nature is concerned, anger is undoubtedly frequent.

Just like fear, to some extent, it also provides us with the value of living. At the social level, in view of similar concepts such as poverty, hunger, disease or social injustice, some beneficial changes may occur.

However, it is undeniable that violent acts or verbal attacks in anger will not only hurt others, but also endanger the overall public order. So many religions and philosophies advocate how to get rid of the negative influence of anger in order to pursue a happier life.

Many people think that the accumulation of anger has a very negative impact on mental health. Unless hostility to others is shown, it will lead to depression like "poisoning". Although anger is a common problem in all aspects, as far as an alcoholic is concerned, it is more threatening and destructive: our own anger can often destroy ourselves.

Almost all sober alcoholics agree that feelings of hostility, resentment, jealousy and anger will force us to want to drink again. So be careful of yourself. Besides drinking, we have found many other better solutions.

First of all, let's identify how anger appears in our minds in various forms: intolerance, contempt, contempt, jealousy, hatred, snobbery, rigid thinking, cynicism, dissatisfaction, tension, irony, self-pity, malice, distrust, doubt, anxiety, suspicion and doubt. Many alcoholics association members find that the root of these feelings is hidden resentment.

In the days when we used to drink, most of us couldn't take the time to think about these things clearly. At that time, we were either deeply involved or overreacted, especially when we started drinking again.

Maybe we should also include fear in the above items. Many of us think that anger is the result of inner fear. We are often not sure what we are afraid of, and sometimes it is just a vague and indescribable panic.

We often suddenly get angry with people or things without any foresight. Failure and frustration are also one of the factors that lead to our anger.

As far as typical drunkards are concerned, we especially lack the patience and perseverance to accept the test of failure. No matter the actual situation or the imagined situation, in the face of complicated and thorny difficulties, we habitually choose to drink to solve the problem.

The other kind of righteous anger is even more difficult to deal with-we often think that we are "righteous" and "cynical", and everything we do is out of "justice", so we must stick to it. But this mentality gradually eroded our hearts unconsciously and eliminated our resistance to the first glass of wine.

Even if we are really wronged and treated unfairly, anger is still a luxury we can't enjoy. No matter how angry we are, we will end up with the first glass of wine again, thus heading for the road of self-destruction.

(For details, please refer to the Abstinence Association and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. ) We can't pretend to be psychologists, but we can understand the deeper psychological changes. So let's concentrate on dealing with angry emotions first, regardless of the causes of this unpleasant feeling and whether it conforms to the principle of fairness and justice, and don't let them lead us to drink again.

But interestingly, the ways we discussed to avoid drinking again are also applicable to dealing with the troubles caused by anger. For example, when we start to lose our temper, it is helpful to eat some sweets or drink a sweet drink that is not addictive.

When we start to get angry about something, calling for help or contacting other sober members can have an immediate effect. You can also pause; Consider whether we are overworked. If so, moderate rest can restore our physical strength and eliminate our anger.

Similarly, we can meditate quietly, meditate on the meaning of "be lenient with others", let ourselves calm down slowly, or devote ourselves to other unimportant and simple work, and even enjoy the music we used to like ... Many of us, thinking about the truth of "praying for peace" is very helpful to eliminate our hostility. Usually, the source of our anger can be summarized as things that we can't control or change (such as traffic jams, weather, queuing for checkout, etc.). ) so that we can use it.

2. My girlfriend ignores me. A sad sentence expressed my feelings. 1. You suddenly don't love the person you have loved for a long time. After listening to a song for a long time, you suddenly stopped listening. You suddenly changed your habit of keeping for many years. After all, time is stronger than love.

Missing is only a moment, but missing is a lifetime.

Sunflower knows that only solar energy can melt inner sadness.

I don't want to mention my past to others. Those lonely and barren people who are struggling in nightmares still leave time and slowly become indifferent.

You don't look for me because you don't want to look for me. I didn't come to you because I gritted my teeth to save my self-esteem.

6. Sometimes, love is also a kind of injury. Cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

7. When you leave, don't look back. Never mind how hard it is for me. Don't ask me how I'm doing. No, you can't help, and it's not your credit.

8. I want to be a fool all my life. I can't hear those harsh words, see those worries, and feel those pains.

9. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like a tree full of pears, it will never bear apples.

10, there is a person, no matter how much I miss it, but I have never met him again.

1 1, he can't see you drunk or sobbing at night. Don't be silly, you are really worthless when no one is distressed.

3. What if my girlfriend doesn't listen? When I am with her, I must protect her and spoil her so that she will not be harmed.

She is afraid of loneliness, so she must spend time with her. But give her some space.

She has a cute little temper easily, so don't worry. Just coax it.

If she is really angry, she will just ignore you. At this time, you must have done something wrong, and you must take the initiative to apologize.

Never challenge her willfulness with your temper. She also likes to be spoiled.

If you don't like it sometimes, don't show it directly, as long as it's better than her. If she is sad, give her a chest to make her cry and comfort her.

Tell her that someone will be more sad when she is sad. Listen carefully to everything she says to you.

Whatever it is is important. Pay equal attention to maturity and childishness, and give her whatever she needs.

Don't act like a male chauvinist. Don't give her unnecessary pressure, and don't make her very tired.

As your girlfriend, she should have some privileges-it's natural. I have promised, and I must do what I promised her. Even if it can't be realized now, I must bear in mind that it will be realized in the future.

It's best to walk with her every day. At the end of the day, you will find it will be a happy experience. When you go with her, let her in.

It is necessary to send her home at night. Call to say good night when you sleep.

Tell her how much she looks forward to tomorrow. Also send her more messages, because some words can't be expressed.

Remember many kinds of days, you don't have to remind her, give her a surprise. As long as there is no problem in principle, everything should be given to her, and she will understand afterwards.

Always pay attention to her eyes, it will tell you a lot of other things. Sometimes she always asks silly questions, such as whether I am beautiful or not. You just need to smile and say some unprofessional words, which are true in your heart.

Smile with her every minute if you can. If you really love her, you can do it. You'd better take an extra coat when the weather changes, so as not to make her ill.

You also need to learn some massage skills in case of emergency. In a word, health must be the first priority. Don't force her to do things she can't finish or doesn't like, and don't let her feel lost at any time, even if you are angry, just for three minutes.

You must pay attention to yourself. It doesn't matter to you, but it matters to her. Always give her a little surprise, never compare her with anyone, because she is unique in this world.

She is both gentle and wild. If you love her, you must love all her strengths and weaknesses. Don't force her to change anything for you. This is very important.

If possible, arrange a trip once or twice a year and take her where she wants to go. Even if you are really tone-deaf, sing her a love song.

If you really love someone, it is good that she is really happy, whether she is by your side or not. And you should cherish every minute with him and make her feel happy.