Classic funny talk daquan

1. I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips that day.

2. My friend said that single dog was hurt by the second half-price advertisement. I said single dog, that's your business, and we single pigs said it's just right to eat two.

When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

4. Look at the teacher silently in every math class. I don't understand anyway. Just be happy.

The most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, and then it wouldn't come back with me. The most loyal thing is meat, damn it, you can't get rid of it!

6. I haven't written for a long time, and now I feel like the emperor has approved my homework.

7. "Why are foreign girls' hands so beautiful?" "Because they haven't written China's homework. "

8. Internet speed has abused me thousands of times. I regard Internet speed as my first love!

9. When I quarreled with my wife, I yelled, "Don't think that you are beautiful and I dare not hit you!" I thought she would be happy to hear this, but I didn't expect her to say, "Don't think that what you said is very reasonable and I will let you go!" " "

10. I especially liked to play hide-and-seek when I was a child. I went straight home as soon as others hid it.

1 1. Today, I was lying in the upper bunk, and my classmates in the lower bunk were eating cakes. Suddenly, he was furious and shouted that there were nails in the TM cake. I listened, and quickly put away the nail clippers.

12. I'm streaking, and I brought myself salt.

13. Someone told me that nothing is more complicated than love. I dropped a math book in his face.

14. I'm going to get a haircut, and my neck twisted when I left my bangs.

15. My deskmate asked me what happiness is, and I said, "Some copies in the exam are happiness."

16. I often do autopsies at school, and I am used to the dead. The dormitory is hotter than the steamer at night. The second-rate roommate had a whim and said that the morgue had air conditioning. Why don't we sleep there? I have the key. Www。 One or two other goods immediately agreed and went. The next day, the janitor was hospitalized.

17. Don't play tricks between girls. Anyway, we will go to the square dance together in a few decades.

18. "What else can I eat" and "Hungry"

19. Friendship is very simple, that is, thinking about each other when eating delicious food, and then taking pictures and sending them to her.

20. "There is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't make you like others." "Are you talking about the head teacher?"

2 1. The most terrible thing in the world is not dreaming that I fell asleep in the examination room, but that I did fall asleep in the examination room after waking up.

22. My future is a dream. What's more, I still have insomnia at the moment.

23. Dad taught me: "Don't be cheated by men. Don't believe what men say. " For a while, I didn't know whether I should listen to my father or not.

24. Do you know why the front camera pixels of most mobile phones are not high? Because I don't want you to be ugly.

25. I bet my youth on tomorrow and lose day after day.

26. Just after cutting a customer's hair, he smiled in the mirror: "I'll call my brother tomorrow!" " "I was so happy that I was about to thank him, but he patted me on the shoulder:" Call someone, too, don't say how much I bully you! " "

27. A roommate who gets up noisily has withstood 100,000 alarm clocks.

28. During the Chinese New Year, an old classmate sent me a message of blessing. I thought his writing was good, so I changed my name and sent it to the group. As a result, he replied to me: "Shit, I copied my homework when I was a child, and I have to copy text messages when I grow up. Can you be shameless! "

29. Since all otaku call themselves Madame Curie, the otaku is called Picasso.

30. I was in a bar last night, and a beautiful woman came up and asked if anyone was sitting here. I politely answered "no" and kept thinking about what to talk to her about later. Then, the beauty took the chair away.