Day 16: How important it is to learn to talk with friends.

Two days ago, a pair of friends quarreled. After the girl calls, let me talk to the boy, care about him and listen to how he adjusts his mood. One took the initiative to find me, and the other I took the initiative to find. After a while, although I felt a little tired of listening to people, I also found it important to learn to talk to friends.

I used to resist listening and speaking.

For a long time, I was in a state of low self-confidence and inferiority. Unless someone explicitly says that I am his friend, I really dare not say who my friend is with 100% confidence. The concept of a friend, to me, is strictly like a partner. So friends mean responsibility. It's really hard for me to listen to things that help friends get rid of negative emotions, analyze objectively and rationally, and say some valuable truths and golden sentences to help people enrich their passion. I often deny myself for many days, because I feel that I have not comforted my good friends. After all, the powerlessness of not helping friends will be really helpless.

But it is also true that when you successfully listen to your friend's words and comfort her, that sense of accomplishment can also make people happy physically and mentally, and you can sing happy songs in your mind when you think of it.

After listening to my friend say it several times, I slowly found out. It's not as difficult as I thought. Anything, in fact, when you really face it, is not as terrible as you think. What you fear most is always the fear of the thing itself.

When you are concerned about how to comfort someone, it may be better to do nothing. When a friend is in love, all she wants is to find someone to tell her uncomfortable things. So when friends don't want to ask for your advice or help, listening is a good way in itself. In the process of pouring out oneself, people can look back on their situation more objectively, which is itself a process of self-healing. Therefore, your existence itself is a kind of liberation.

When do you need feedback? Comply with each other's wishes while maintaining one's position. When a person confides, he often hopes that someone will recognize her. It is an indisputable fact that we can only make friends with people who share our views. Therefore, unless you really have convincing opinions and communication skills and give practical methods, the best way is to identify with her. Repeat her point of view or supplement in another way and prove it with some examples.

Girls are like this. Let's talk about boys

Although both sides are talking and I am listening, as a boy, I think it is more important to learn to speak.

Why is it more important for boys to learn to speak? I think it may be related to some deep-rooted traditional concepts. Traditionally, boys are a symbol of strength, and it should be discouraged to confide in such a weak move. Therefore, most people may unconsciously hide themselves when they encounter troubles. Such a state is obviously unacceptable. After all, today's society is developing rapidly, and the pressure and challenges are not as great as in the past. Learning to actively regulate emotions is more efficient than pretending to be strong.

How to speak? I think the focus of the conversation is not what to talk about and how to talk about it, but where, when and with whom. Of course, I'm not talking about "the limited conditions for the collapse of the adult world". Of course, this stalk is also helpless and real. I think the meaning of talking is to find a really good friend to talk to. Because a friend is someone you can talk to without worrying too much, otherwise, you can only say that your definition of a friend is too arbitrary.

Of course, I admit that not everything can be told to my friends. You will gradually find that when you grow up, it is useless to tell your friends a lot of things. Only you can solve this problem. Grasping the degree of doing things is a universal standard, and so is speaking. What I want to say is that we really need to grow up quickly and face the world with the standards of adults. But always remember to find friends when you need them, not to be strong.

I hope everyone can support and encourage each other and become the people we want to be together.