My travel guide: looking for freedom in the sea of people.

The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, and so is the National Day holiday. Do you have any travel plans?

During the small holiday of news reports, the peak experience is traffic jams, queues and crowds. However, the small holiday seen by the circle of friends is that the years are quiet and everyone laughs.

True or false, whether the glass is half full or half empty depends on personal subjective feelings and evaluation.

Pauroso Lu, a famous American travel writer, has a book called The Way to Travel. The title page says: You can't go that way until you become a road. Paul said it was a proverb of the Buddha.

Over the years, I have found my own "travel strategy" in the vast sea of people. Echo Paul is: if there is no scenery in your eyes, you can't see the scenery.

Whether on the road or in daily life, keep an open and stable heart. Road is life, and life is the road.

Let's share my experience:

Most of my long or short trips are with friends. They work in a similar way to me, so they can arrange their time relatively freely and travel at the wrong peak.

I also like to travel alone. At this time, you can do it according to your own taste and way. When I was in London, I took a book "Literature Walking in London" to arrange the tour route.

According to this book, I followed Dickens' route, looking for Woolf's footprint, and I found such a meaningful little scenic spot as St. Marie baugh. There is a famous golden bell in the church. This clock was used to ring the midnight bell in the14th century. So the real Londoners were born within the reach of the bell.

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Whenever possible, I will survey the land with my feet in the city where I am on a business trip, or observe passers-by in the coffee shop on the corner for an afternoon. This is called a market visit. Even if I take the train for a week in a row, I don't feel bored. Even an empty platform can be a landscape.

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Except that it is inconvenient to go to the toilet at the airport occasionally, no one will look after your luggage. The advantage of traveling alone is that no one knows you, and you can melt into a state of "no self".

Paul Solu has a passage that describes this state particularly accurately. He said:

My husband and I can often find ways to avoid the crowds of popular tourist attractions. Our secret is: just deviate from the main line by 5 kilometers.

For example, during the May Day holiday this year, my husband and I just went to Hangzhou for two days. After visiting the familiar Jiuxi and Longjing, I even took the time to go to Shililangya (walking in the Western Hills). I miss it very much and almost no one is there. Originally, my husband suggested going to the West Lake Xintiandi for a drink, but I stopped him in time: 188 bought a bottle of wine and went to the tea garden under the balcony of the hotel to drink it. Only two people were still drunk.

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I found Hangzhou on May Day.

There are many people in the popular scenic spots, and everyone is crowded together. If it is in the West Lake on the other side of Hubin Road, there will be more people, but if it is in the area of Changqiao Park, there will be fewer people. If you go to meijiawu, there will be many people. Take a few more steps to Jiuxi or Manjuelong, and there will be fewer people.

However, this unique practice of two people has a decreasing trend at present.

My husband and I originally came from two families with different cultures and different personalities. For example, I like hiking, and he likes antagonistic ball games; He likes big pieces of meat and big mouthfuls of wine, and I like the "fake literary" restaurant with good mosquito meat. I don't know whether the energy at home follows the principle of conservation. Recently, I love sports more and more, and my husband calls himself "rest". I estimate that if he didn't have "Metamorphosis", after more than ten years, I would become a group of active old ladies waving red scarves at the seaside. He is an old man who is lonely at home.

During the long holidays a few years ago, we were all a big family traveling on the road, and the round-trip time often took a whole day. This also includes the travel time of family members from other places.

My mother's family and my husband's family each have three children, who are "distributed" in three different places. Plus their spouses and families. If you want to spend the holidays together, a party, three or four families, add up to a dozen people to coordinate the time. Therefore, the Spring Festival, National Day, May Day (if it is a long time) and other legal public holidays have become the time for our family to get together.

In order to prevent everyone from disagreeing and avoid the inefficiency of collective decision-making, our family has agreed since last year: every family will rotate, and everything will be subject to this year's rotating family arrangement. Other families are responsible for showing up on time. In my husband's house, a few years ago, the family accompanied their parents back to the place where they used to work and live.

A large family is often tied together to sweep hot spots.

In this sea of people, I often use "mental method" to reduce noise.

(1) Mining new family topics in the sea of people.

This kind of trip is a family gathering.

The advantage is that many topics have been generated during the stay and journey, some of which are seen on the road and some are memories of family members. For example, one year I accompanied my in-laws to Enshi, and my father-in-law said that his father graduated from Enshi Normal School during the Kuomintang period. I heard it at home for the first time in more than 20 years, and so did my husband. There is usually no suitable scene to talk about such a topic. The new experience of tourism has stimulated new topics.

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(2) Use travel to eliminate sovereign housework.

This is not the age of big houses. Everyone has a large personal space and many differences in living habits. If a dozen people are together, eating, drinking and sleeping is a big topic.

I don't know if you will encounter such a problem when you go back to your parents' house: parents want to give you something delicious. As a person of several decades old, on the one hand, you can't decide what to eat and how much to eat, on the other hand, you watch your elderly parents work hard and ask for an "ancestral" meal. The result is either that you are reluctant to roll up your sleeves on yourself (if you can cook), or that you are in a cycle of "you tell your parents to rest, your parents don't rest, you tell your parents to rest, their parents don't rest, and then both sides are in a hurry"

Is this the case in your family?

Traveling together will greatly avoid this problem. Outsourcing cooking and housework through travel. No one has to fight for the right to work at home.

A big family like ours, an 80-year-old man and a three-year-old child, find a homestay with mountains and water, and ask the local aunt to cook and clean up, so that the pace of life of all ages will not be disrupted. Sleep late in the morning, have tea in the afternoon and play cards in the evening. Relax.

(1) Travel companion is the key to noise reduction.

Travel is as short as one day and as long as dozens of days. In the multi-person combination, the most economical is four people. Ride and accommodation can best reflect the scale effect. The composition of personnel can also reflect the greatest diversity. If you have different tastes for scenic spots and things, you can let two teams do it separately.

With more people, people have a wider perspective and more interesting things. Once in Madrid, Spain, we went into a restaurant. The clerk couldn't speak English, and our inertial thinking was immediately stuck and became helpless. A friend in the same trade developed super physical expression ability because of his poor English. The other three of us were shocked and found the most primitive and effective way of communication between people.

Travellers need to run in, and I especially understand those who have been going out with a group of friends. Otherwise, arguing about where to play all day is more annoying than the sea of people in the scenic spot.

(2) When traveling, take yourself to other places and take yourself back there.

For tourism, there is always such a saying.

No matter how you travel, I think the best experience is being able to take yourself there. Pay attention to your experience at that time.

My earliest flow experience was a hiking trip in Gannan. I recorded it in my travel notes:

This is similar to the feeling of flow that Csikszentmihalyi said: "Because of my own reasons, I am completely involved in the activity. At this time, their self-awareness disappears, time flies, and every behavior, action and idea will inevitably be step by step. "

On the other hand, traveling also helps you find yourself. Face a place and some people, admit that you don't understand, and keep an open mind. Because I met some people, a section of scenery and broadened myself during my trip.

In the past two years, I am also slowly learning to turn the city where I live and the place where I live and work 3 kilometers away from Fiona Fang into my "travel" destination. For example, take a bus tour in your own city, and go to the small garden behind the office every day after lunch to see how green the grass is.

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Some people say that traveling can forget the daily troubles. I don't think it's forgetting, but when you pour your troubles into another torrent of time that has nothing to do with sadness and joy, you have a sense of integration and humility, so that you can look at the problem from a bigger perspective. Your own problems will be smaller.

The pictures in this article are provided by the author.

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