Don't ask me why I have to work with illness at an age when I can't afford it.

I don't know when, the self-confidence that any physical discomfort can be carried over is no longer replaced by whimsy and paranoia that may be caused by any sign of trouble.

Unconsciously, I feel that I have reached the age when I can't afford to get sick. I have elderly parents to take care of me and underage children to take care of me. At this embarrassing age, we should try our best to live the life we want, give our parents a better old age and give their children room for healthy and happy growth.

Come to think of it, it seems that we don't even have the right to cherish ourselves. Because our health affects the happiness of everyone in the family. In other words, we don't just live for ourselves.

At this age, we are determined to protect ourselves, not to overdraw our physical strength, not to stay up late, not to persist when we are sick, and not to persist when we are exhausted.

However, the dribs and drabs of life sometimes do not develop continuously according to their own will. The helplessness they are willing to do but unable to change, gnawing at the true thoughts in their hearts, makes you sometimes have to accept the helplessness of reality, let ideals give way to reality, and let reality continue to be helpless.

This helplessness is called: persisting in work despite illness.

Throughout the Spring Festival holiday, I feel that I have spent all the symptoms caused by a cold. The extreme discomfort of splitting headache and chills fills every cell of my body, which makes this year a special symbol and adds a different flavor.

On the morning of New Year's Eve, the night shift of ICU 12 hours was finally finished. I wrapped my shivering body in a thick cotton-padded jacket and dragged my tired body home to sleep. Being woken up by my family in a daze, I felt weak and didn't want to move at all, but I didn't want to spoil everyone's interest in the New Year. I tried to get up and go to my mother-in-law's house for dinner. When it was time for dinner, I continued to curl up on the sofa, wearing a cotton-padded jacket and covering the quilt, but I still couldn't resist the cold. It felt like there was a kind of cold that dripped into ice in the weather for three or nine days.

After taking the same cold medicine, the condition was repeated and there was no obvious improvement. Every afternoon, when it is getting dark, it burns again. During this period, I once thought about many possibilities, and even once doubted whether I had an incurable disease. This disorderly thinking aggravated the degree of headache. It not only makes the body hurt by diseases, but also increases the psychological burden.

Colleagues said: persistence is so hard and dedication. Ask for leave, don't insist.

The family said: I won't go to work, please tell the leader and ask for a few days off.

Classmate said: Check it carefully and don't take it seriously.

And I said: it's not easy to ask for leave, so I'd better stick to it. If not, I'll ask for leave again.

So, on the second day of the Lunar New Year, I went to the hospital on time in the 12-hour day shift in the intensive care unit. The headache was finally relieved by a few cold medicines I took in advance. Before I could be happy, the dizziness that followed came again. Looking at the dense infusion bottles in front of me, I feel that the whole treatment room is spinning. Hand-held dosing syringe must do its best to make the needle accurately aim at the mouth of the infusion bottle and add the medicine smoothly.

When the dizziness is the worst, I have to hold the table in the treatment room and then squat down to rest to prevent possible falls.

Maybe the cold medicine took effect slowly, or maybe I came to work from lying still at home and gradually got used to walking back and forth. In a word, after work in the morning, the dizziness finally eased.

With this experience of gradual improvement, I feel less timid in the face of the 12-hour night shift on the third day of the New Year. Since you can't change it, face it bravely. That long night seemed to have gone through a whole century.

When I was uncomfortable, someone advised me: Why don't you take time off? Your body is your own and you should know how to take care of yourself.

Yes, I don't know how to cherish myself, and I don't think it's noble to work in spite of illness, and I'm even more opposed to those gimmicks that stand on the moral high ground. Because, the persistence of this kind of words to the mouth and swallowing it is purely a kind of helplessness, an unspeakable powerlessness and helplessness.

Wechat, which asked for your opinions in the first class of that year, has not been deleted before, clearly recording the time when everyone asked for a rest during the Spring Festival. Married girls need to go back to their parents' home after the holidays. These two days are the best time to go back to their parents' home in tradition. In these two days, everyone put forward the same request almost at the same time, and the leaders barely met everyone's needs despite all kinds of difficulties. Everyone is also looking forward to this day coming early and reuniting with relatives who have not seen for a long time.

The nature of nursing work is destined to be a radish and a pit, and each shift has a shift task. Every shift must have someone on duty. Without any shift, the work can't go smoothly.

If I ask for leave at this time, maybe the leader will approve it, and maybe my colleagues will give up their rest and reunion time to replace them. However, as far as I'm concerned, I can't bear to let their joy turn into sudden disappointment, and let their long-awaited expectations fail in an instant. Therefore, my insistence is completely helpless, let alone professional, let alone noble.

Fortunately, I succeeded. Fortunately, I didn't embarrass the leader to change shifts, nor did I disappoint my colleagues because they couldn't go home to change shifts.

With the improvement of people's cognitive level in recent years, people no longer think that it is a wise choice to persist in work despite illness, nor do they think that such publicity is a positive energy incentive for everyone. People are increasingly aware of the importance of health to themselves. If the medical staff are overdrawing their own health while protecting others' health, if you have irreparable losses in the process of overdrawing your own health, it is unfair and immoral to yourself and your family.

Under the condition that every hospital is running short of manpower, it has become a normal state for medical staff to work with illness. We often see that in the clinical front line, doctors and nurses are still writing medical records and nursing records while taking intravenous drip. It's not that they don't want to take time off, nor is it for their little salary. They have to continue to stick to their posts, do their part in social responsibility, relieve some pressure of colleagues and reduce the shift burden of leaders under the limited human resources environment.

Some people say: you are just a grass at work, but you are a sky for your family at home. After carefully pondering this sentence, I feel that it does contain some truth. A person's role and position at home is obviously greater than that at work. Because you are one of the many employees in the unit, but you are the irreplaceable only one in the family.

So, if possible, please cherish your health and don't keep working when you are sick. Because, a healthy body and a good working condition are a manifestation of being responsible for patients. Because only with a healthy body can we fight for a long time in the workplace.

If possible, please ask the leader to allow everyone who asks for sick leave to rest, because they only ask for it as a last resort.

It is hoped that with the improvement of the hospital establishment system, the helplessness of medical staff who persist in their work despite illness will gradually decrease.

I hope that one day, the normal rest time of medical staff can be guaranteed, and don't drag the sick body to continue to stick to their jobs.

I hope this day will come soon!