Don't want to be a back-pot man, observe these points!

Those people around you who like to break the pot? Don't want to be a back-pot man, observe these points!

"the scene of throwing pot names"

Xiao Zhang is the financial manager. Recently, the company organized a financial self-examination. He and Li Jie were so busy that they finally got through it. But in the last link, she felt that the work report in her hand could not be completed on time, so he said to Sister Li around her, "Sister Li, have you finished the financial self-examination given by the boss?" Sister Li said, "I have finished everything here except your report. Hold on tight. "

Xiao Zhang pushed the boat with the tide and said, "Why don't you take a look at it for me? I have other things to worry about. The boss is pressing this report, and you have experience. " Li Jie also took it out of kindness, but I didn't expect the boss to call to urge the progress. Xiao Zhang and his boss have finished reporting their own affairs, but Li Jie's hand is still unfinished. All of a sudden, Li Jie became a "back pot".

"scapegoat effect"

Such examples are very common in life, and some pots can even destroy a person for a lifetime. These conscious and unconscious pot-throwing behaviors are called scapegoat effect in psychology. The scapegoat effect, also known as "frustration-attack" theory, is a concept in crowd psychology, which refers to a phenomenon that the target of attack is shifted when frustration leads to attack.

Generally speaking, the aggression caused by people's setbacks will point to the frustration makers, but if people don't have the strength to fight back against these makers, they will transfer this aggression to someone or something, which is usually weak. As far as personal prejudice is concerned, the scapegoat effect is a transfer of responsibility, just like a child scolded by his parents, but he can't compete with it, so he can only take his anger out on the cat next to him and kick it.

This effect plays out all the time in our lives, not that others deliberately throw the pot at you. More often, this kind of behavior is unconscious, just like some families with single parents have a bad influence on their children. Because mom and dad often quarrel, they unconsciously vent their anger on their children, and even take away their unbearable emotions and pains as a n experienced person. Pass it on to your children.

Usually quarrels caused by dad's laziness may turn into reprimands for children. "You don't want to be like him when you grow up. You'd better be promising and be worthy of my hard work to raise you." At this time, children become "scapegoats". So, how can we avoid being a "scapegoat" in life and being dumped by others?

1, don't doubt yourself, reply seriously, sort out your thoughts and make them clear.

Don't try to convince yourself that it's no big deal. You must first face up to this experience. Who is wrong? Tolerance will not make your life better.

3. Learn to ease your emotions reasonably and learn to talk to yourself. Of all people, you are the most important.

4. Stay away from those who keep throwing pots at you, stay with those you like or let them stay together, and don't force yourself into other people's world.

Someone told you to be kind, independent and beautiful. All these are correct, but you should also have a sharp edge. When you encounter unfair treatment, you should be brave enough to resist.