Ma Bao, who once left her baby to the elderly and then went to work, can you share the current situation?

But I don't know what you want to say.

Do you go to work during the day and go home at night like me, or are you the kind of left-behind children?

It's definitely not good for children to be with them, but I'm not. Don't say that way.

Tell me about yourself.

I'll go to work immediately after maternity leave. First, the mentality is a bit collapsed, and you can rest at work. It's too painful for two people to wander around the house. Secondly, the economy is not so loose, and we still have to fight for our children in the future; Third, come on. My mother had the foresight to tell me that if you didn't go to work, she would hack me.

So I went to work.

Grandma takes care of the children during the day, and I come back at night, and the children sleep with my husband and me.

Grandma is good at taking care of children and cooking. What is certain is that I will never give him such a good patient meal, and I don't care about big things with my children, so I will be a good mother-in-law.

As for the grandmother's suggestion that the child sleep with her at night, so as not to affect my sleep, I sleep very lightly. I thought about it and then refused. On the one hand, considering that the old man is still very tired to take care of the baby during the day, let her have a rest; Secondly, I still think we should cultivate feelings with our children, let our husband bring them by himself, and let him know that children don't grow up like this.

Maybe I am a very lucky person. My mother-in-law and husband are not the kind of shopkeepers, and their lives are more reliable than mine. My husband, like most husbands, can't see housework, but he still takes care of the children wholeheartedly. I can basically do things I didn't expect.

Now the child is six years old.

There have been disputes at home, and it is inevitable that the child's personality is a bit arrogant. After all, the elderly are used to it during the day.

However, I was very relieved that the child was at home during the day, and then I went to work because of maternity leave, and I didn't breastfeed (speaking of which, I wasn't in the mood for a small amount, and the company had a long way to go, and the conditions for breastfeeding were not very good), so I basically had the most difficult year after a smooth delivery, and I had postpartum depression, but it was all psychological and there was no big problem. My postpartum depression was discovered afterwards. I divorced my husband every day for a while, and every little thing was blx. Fortunately, I am the kind of person who doesn't make decisions and won't be exposed in front of people. My adults don't know about it. My husband is angry with me every minute, and he is silent. Yes, he didn't hug me and coax me. Alas, novels are deceptive, but now they are often turned into black history. ).

After all, do you want to leave the baby with the elderly and go to work by yourself? Personally, I suggest that as long as your old man is not so difficult to pester and likes to raise a baby with his own experience, forget it if he doesn't listen to advice. If he had been angry for three years, he would have died. You can take care of him for three years, and the child will grow up. Now you can stop for him and prove that your previous career is not that important. You can go to work after he goes to school.

If there are elderly people who are easy to get along with, I suggest Ma Bao go to work. You know, economic right is the right to speak. Even if you have little money, you can support yourself. You will live with confidence and solve many problems with confidence.

Don't think you will miss your child's first time many times. In fact, when you go home and see his first speech, it will be your first time. If you insist on staying at home to take care of the baby, you should be calm, because this kind of life that depends entirely on others is very variable and may not be good for your psychology.

A child needs his mother's company, but what he needs more is his mother, a healthy mother.

I hope everyone understands.

Hello, I am a confused mother. My boss left it to grandma when she was one and a half years old. I went to open a shop in other places, and I regretted it when I took over the children at the age of two and a half! ! ! I'd rather not make money than take care of my children!

When the baby is one and a half years old, I go to do business and can't leave it at home for grandma! How can you not want to take care of the older children by yourself? So it doesn't matter if I give videos to my children every day. Children are dirty every day. The important thing is that I suddenly love watching mobile phones and TV, which makes me very annoyed. Children over one year old, their eyes are developing, how can they keep looking? Grandma said, otherwise he can't run home all the time, so he will watch TV and watch his mobile phone quietly and won't make trouble! My heart is broken. I never let him watch mobile TV, and finally I lost to his grandmother! Now he is four years old, and I have been slowly changing his bad habits! It takes a lot of effort. You'd better take care of yourself all the time! Therefore, I have time to have a second child, transfer directly to the store and concentrate on taking care of the children! After all, the old people think differently from us. The so-called every generation of parents is to spoil the child and meet all his requirements, whether it is unreasonable or not! Mom and dad can give their children correct values!

Hello, I am basically a strong person, so I went to work five months after giving birth to my first child. I can't stand staying at home without any income. It turned out to be a pity. There are three specific reasons:

First, grandparents' concept of parenting is different from ours. It is better to eat complementary food within one year. I buy rice noodles and fruits on time. Grandparents think that children should eat like adults. As a result, when I was eight months old, I was fed too early, which led to enteritis. After tossing for more than ten days, the baby lost weight and only drank milk without eating until he was about one and a half years old.

Second, old people think that it is harmless for children to wear open-backed pants when urinating. I bought a small toilet to exercise, and I will show it when I go to the toilet. But when I was one year old and two months old, I chose to wean my mother and baby respectively. After more than half a month, the baby urinated everywhere, and it took a long time to correct it. The problem of not wearing clothes and shoes has only now been corrected.

Third, old people think that as long as children don't cry, they should give the stars and the moon to the moon. Travel frequently after weaning. My grandparents often let the children fall asleep watching TV. Basically, I watch TV all day, turn on the TV when my eyes are open, and hold my child on my mobile phone. They can't say it yet, and they get angry when they say it.

Learn from the painful experience. During the second child maternity leave, I hesitated repeatedly. After the maternity leave, I decided not to go to work and grew up with my children. Now the baby still watches TV, but as long as I am free, I will play with her, read books, play games, tell stories, learn English and know numbers. Now the baby likes studying and doesn't watch TV at night. Other minor problems are still being slowly corrected.

I am a full-time nanny now. When the child was one year old, I left the child at home for my mother-in-law to take care of, and I went to work. But after I went there for three days, I felt that my children were different, my eyes were different, and I was unhappy. But my husband also said that I exaggerated, but I can see some subtle changes in my child at a glance. The mother-in-law takes good care of her, but she always feels that her baby is unhappy. Then I brought her to me, and now she is almost two years old. Uncle Huo is very cute, he can say anything and is very obedient. Although I have no money, I don't regret [smile].

My daughter is seven months old now, and I have been taking care of her alone. Originally, I planned to let my mother-in-law take care of her after the New Year, but I gave up this idea after seeing what two old people did to their children during the Spring Festival. The reason for this is the following：

First, when my daughter was more than five months old, she was not particularly interested in adult food, so she didn't plan to add complementary food to her. However, her grandfather must give the children a taste of everything they eat, such as steamed buns and noodles, and put them on her mouth every time. When people wanted to eat them reflexively, he took them away again. I can't bear to cheat the child to death. I have always advocated that children should not be deceived and not allowed to eat salt until they are one year old. Every time my father-in-law does this, I remind him that he can't let the children eat or cheat them. People just won't listen, and it will happen again next time.

Second, my husband's uncle's son and children take care of the elderly. The child is dirty all day, his face is red and chapped all day, and there is always yellow mucus secretion under his nose. It hurts to see it. I said I didn't want to wash the children, so look at their dirty faces. My mother-in-law said, what's wrong? You will do the same in the future. I said, no way. Like a child's face and nose, of course she won't.

Because I brought my daughter when she was born, my mother-in-law seldom changed diapers for her children, let alone used diapers. The child is almost half a year old. She can't tell wet wipes from paper towels, washbasin from bottom basin, and towels can't tell which is which. I wash her face and ass every day, and she watches it every time. I don't know what she is looking at. I have stayed in my hometown for more than two months. Obviously, I just don't care about raising children. Let people learn to wear diapers, and they reluctantly brought them twice, saying that they would not use them in the future. I want to hold my breath, and my husband will just say no.

Fourth, in my hometown during the Chinese New Year, sometimes the temperature is very high. When the weather is warm, I will wear thinner clothes for my children. His grandfather always said it was always cold. The child's hands are cold. When I touch them, they are warm and not cold at all. I told people not to touch their hands and touch the back of their necks. It's no use. It will be the same next time. I have been looking for a hat belt for my children. I wear a thin hat and change it directly for others. The child's hot head is sweaty, which makes people feel fine and makes me like a stepmother. When children are sweating, they are dressed just right and really well, but they are not good and cold. I'm drunk. Just because you're cold doesn't mean the child is cold! Every time my mother-in-law says it's cold, put on more clothes for her children. I said that if you feel cold, you should put on more clothes.

My child is half a year old. I bought rice noodles for the children. My grandfather told me that I don't need to eat anything, and it is best to drink rice soup. My husband said that this rice noodle is rich in nutrition and contains calcium, iron and zinc. They say that no matter how nutritious it is, it is not as nutritious as rice oil. Children eat better every time they eat rice noodles. As long as I eat less or not, people will drink rice soup. I was angry and said it was not delicious, for sure.

Sixth, I always like to mention that I can't accept the way young people take care of their children now. One is how to take care of children before. There was no milk powder before, and some even had no milk. It's no problem to start eating one or two months after birth. I said the past is the past. Can it be the same as it is now? Why are children smarter than before? Isn't the method of raising children different? They can't accept the present and I can't accept the past!

After being in my hometown for so long, the biggest feeling is that the elderly take care of their children, eat and drink enough and wear thick clothes. Nothing else matters. My mother-in-law also said that I can put them back to my hometown after weaning at the age of one. I'm just saying I'm not going to put them at home. I want to carry them all the time. I don't give up my children and follow them back to my hometown. I don't have to eat and dress. None of these basic things can reassure me, let alone education. Will people give you an education? Impossible, so you can only bring it yourself, don't worry. Even if the economy is very embarrassed now, the child will only grow up once, and she is more important than myself.

I did say some angry words under some articles just now, but it was also from the heart. I just talk about things without prejudice.

The baby born in June of 20 19 (caesarean section). No one told me to be naked in front of so many people before giving birth. After I was carried out of the operating room, my lower body was naked and lochia was constantly discharged. Basically, I have to change the disposable mattress every 1 hour. My mother-in-law knows that I'm a bit of a neat freak and washes my nakedness n times a day. I'm afraid I won't lie like that. Before that, I always hated my mother-in-law's meddling, playing cards and cooking badly, and deliberately not eating during pregnancy. In fact, I was dissatisfied with her and my husband was anxious, so I always accompanied me and cooked for me. But since that time, I have been more and more considerate of her ... When the baby 100 was old, I worked in a company near my home, so I went out early and returned late until the child was one year old. My husband and I discussed going out to work. After all, there are many opportunities in big cities, so we came out. At first, I was homesick and missed my baby. I went back to my hometown during the National Day holiday. I let my mother-in-law play cards well. I take care of the baby at home every day. Seriously, I'm a big boy. Basically, I have to watch from the back all day, and I dare not neglect it at all. One day, the baby fell and bit his lip swollen, bleeding a lot, which really scared me to cry. Fortunately, my mother-in-law is here, and she is comforting me that I am fine ... I really don't want to bring it on the seventh day. It's really free, and people feel devastated ... then I thought that my mother-in-law had brought it to me for so long, and my heart was full of guilt for her. She is also a woman. She didn't want to play or relax, but she was great and gave up her freedom to help me with my children. I don't understand why so many people blame their mother-in-law for taking care of their children. All your comforts are for someone to take your share of discomfort for you, understand? Be thankful that no one owes you anything and no one pays the bill.

All right, back to business!

My present situation is that I miss my baby very much every day. It is because of nostalgia that I am more motivated not to spend money indiscriminately, to save money well, to work hard and study hard, and to make myself better and more stable, because I hope to give my baby an example of excellent efforts. I will watch videos every day and repeat those words. I will worry that some things my in-laws do are not good for my children (my father-in-law will use his chopsticks to hold things for the baby to eat and drink tea, the hidden place of the bottle will not be washed and disinfected, my mother-in-law will take things to eat without washing her hands, and my father-in-law will buy all kinds of snacks for the baby ... and so on, too many things to talk about), but I will only understand that the baby is his grandson. Since I brought it to them, let's do what they want. Why are you telling them what to do? They are all experienced people. Do we need to teach them? Appropriate suggestions are possible, but the situation is clear.

Finally, I want to give you a message:

If you can't let go of your children, you will accompany them wholeheartedly. If you can't let go of your career, you will try your best to struggle. No matter what kind of choice you make, it is better than a child raised by a mother who is suffering from anxiety and loss! Children's growth and companionship are important, but role models are equally important. May every precious mother be strong!

Just leave the baby to the elderly on weekdays and go to work by yourself. After work at night, on holidays, I will bring it myself.

I think the status quo is good.

Dabao took maternity leave for more than 90 days after his birth and went to work. Give the children to grandma during the day and sleep by yourself at night. Dabao went to the nursery when he was 2 years old. Old people only need to pick up and cook dinner in the morning and evening.

After my sister was born, my brother was already in the nursery. Sister, I will go to work in about five months, and I'll leave the children to grandma. When my sister was young, it was inconvenient for my grandmother to pick up my brother, so I found a night shift to pick up my brother after school, and I'll pick him up after work. Two children sleep with themselves every day.

Now my sister goes to kindergarten at the age of two and a half, my brother goes to kindergarten at the age of five, and my grandmother picks me up every day. If she has time, she will cook dinner. I go home from work after six o'clock, feed the children, wash their faces, read books for a while and sleep with them. The children also slept very late, and both of them fell asleep at least 1 1.

Eva left it to the old man and went to work by herself, but she didn't have her own time.

My two children are in the middle class of kindergarten now. Except for 1 year-old, I took it at home, and my grandparents always took it. We went to work.

In terms of physical development, my grandparents eat very simply. If there is no special reminder, they will eat rice porridge in the morning, with light noodles or hot buns at noon and vegetarian dishes at night.

But the child is developing normally, and now he is in his early forties. One is 125cm, and the other is 120cm.

I didn't return to kindergarten this year. I usually play at home. It is said that you will go crazy three times a day in the community, so you get a dark tan.

In terms of study, grandpa began to study at the age of three. From the beginning of the black-and-white card to being able to read extracurricular books in the second grade of primary school independently, grandpa has made great contributions. Of course, it takes time and energy to come back at night.

I usually prepare some exercise books, such as Chinese characters, English strokes and arithmetic, so that they can arrange their own time and finish it during the day. Now, they have been punching in for half a year.

My grandfather is very responsible. In addition to online English and thinking courses, pad prohibits children from touching TV or mobile phones at other times.

Usually, when a child commits something, grandpa will punish him and won't get used to it. Grandma can't do this, so the children are not afraid of grandma, and only grandpa can hold down the venue.

But grandma can always stare at her grandchildren like a camera, without playing mobile phone or watching TV. I admire her.

To be honest, I think if I stay at home full-time, I probably won't be better than them, so I appreciate their help.

Tell me about the experience my two children left for the elderly.

The first time I gave birth to my eldest son was 20 14. I live with my mother-in-law She took care of me from my pregnancy to delivery. After the full moon, I worry that I have no experience. She is also her first grandson, and I really can't bear to part with her. She took my eldest son with her until she was almost two and a half years old.

My penis was brought by my grandmother, because he was separated from my boss by 14 months. My husband was worried that my body was not recovered and my energy was not enough, so he asked my mother to take care of it for me, but both children were by my side and could be seen at any time.

What is the difference between two children? Grandma likes to sleep with a sling when she takes a nap at noon every day. Children can sleep while drinking milk in bed, and they can fall asleep quickly, while the old man just needs to carry it on his back. There's nothing we can do. We can't always argue with the old people about something. At this time, the child slowly fell asleep.

And sometimes the children fall asleep, and the old people can't sleep, which is very boring. From time to time, they bring a player and put a square dance there. Children are easily woken up and often get up without enough sleep.

The real drawback is that after the age of 3, children rarely take a nap and have to sleep for an hour or two before falling asleep. Usually, when I wake up, his children open their eyes.

Children's lack of sleep also affects their physical development. Now their height is obviously shorter than their peers.

Living with my mother-in-law, sometimes I accidentally make her unhappy, so I find fault with her and get angry with me. I have to put up with it once or twice, but she is a very grumpy person. After a long time, my patience and concentration are not so good, and the frequency of quarrels is gradually increasing. In the most intense time, she kicked my door wildly, and I locked the door with my children. Can such a scene not stimulate children?

Psychologically speaking, if parents and children form a very healthy attachment relationship in infancy, it will nourish children and parents and benefit both sides. On the contrary, children's physical and mental development will be hindered and have different degrees of influence.

When I lived with my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law felt very sad when she saw that I was kind to my own mother. I went back to my hometown to take care of my seriously ill father. During the time when my father died, my mother-in-law refused to let my children answer my phone or contact me. The longest time we lost contact was 15 days.

/kloc-I haven't had any contact with my mother for 0/5 days, which is a serious parent-child separation for a child under 3 years old.

And my little Bao, my mother was depressed because my father died not long ago. She has almost no happy interaction and communication with her children, and is very sensitive to external stimuli. She is listless and perfunctory in everything and has no real fun.

Fortunately, four years ago, I began to take care of them full-time. Later, because of them, I began to learn the knowledge of parenting psychology. Now everything is trying to improve.

Of course, this does not mean that all old people will not fail to take care of their children, and there will be various problems, because they are less educated than our parents and receive less new information. Raising a good child really needs some scientific parenting knowledge.

Similarly, if our generation of parents treat their children without learning scientific parenting knowledge and raise a child only by their own instinct or past growth experience, there will still be many problems.

Everything still depends on learning, and learning can solve all problems.

On the seventh day of the National Day holiday, when he came back, he had just finished five months. He was so good that he fell asleep as soon as he dozed off.

I go back once every two weeks. He has changed a lot and will learn several new skills. Slowly, at the age of seven months, he became emotional. When I go back, he always looks at me with big eyes and smiles, but when I reach out and hug him, he cries.

It's been more than eight months now, and I still don't want to hug.

All choices have to pay a corresponding price.

I know that now that I have decided, these will inevitably follow.

However, I also know that this choice is time-limited. In a few months, the baby will be able to remember and rely on his mother. I have to be with him.

So this year, I chose to work hard to further improve my professional knowledge. At the same time, I also want to study hard and accumulate more extracurricular knowledge to provide the most suitable answers for my baby's future questions.

Therefore, there is no need to envy anyone or evaluate anyone. Every choice has advantages and disadvantages.

In-laws can't fully meet your requirements. We can communicate first. If you really can't stand it, don't complain, you can only work full-time.