My parents were very filial when they were alive. Is it appropriate not to visit the grave after the death of parents?

For this question! Let me talk about my personal opinion. With your parents around, you have fulfilled your obligations and responsibilities as a child! From this point of view, I am very pleased and happy for you! In my parents' old age! You spend your last days with them! This is very touching and admirable! You are a filial and caring child!

In addition, you said: when my parents were alive, I did everything I should do and sent my parents the last journey! Now because of work! Running around all the year round, but also going back to my hometown to burn paper for my dead parents, I feel very entangled and contradictory! I advise you not to think too much and don't worry! If you don't have time to go back to your parents' graves, you can burn some paper money for them at work and say something to your parents. I don't think they will blame you. This situation is not just one person, there are tens of millions in the country, in order to live and survive! I'm leaving my hometown to work hard outside!

I am just like you! When parents are alive, work hard for life! When I sent my parents away! Endure your sadness and move on! With longing for hometown and missing parents! Still living in a foreign land! Deep down, I dreamed of going home countless times! Go to the grave to burn paper for the deceased parents and tell them the ups and downs in their hearts! But time has not left us many opportunities, and there will be many unsatisfactory places! Although I feel very painful and helpless in my heart! We can only burn some paper money for them in the dead of night in a foreign land, and silently pray that our parents are all well in the spirit of heaven! It's been ten years since my parents died, and I haven't visited his grave once. But I don't regret it or feel guilty! Because when they were alive, I did my duty and responsibility! Finally, I hope you can let go of your mental burden and anxiety. When parents are alive, good filial piety and care are a hundred times stronger than those false filial sons! Some people are: parents are unfilial! Scream when you die. There is a good saying: people are doing, and the sky is watching.

Finally, I wish you all the best! Life is happy, happy, happy!

Parents were very filial to their parents when they were alive. Is it appropriate for them not to go to the grave after they die?

But you said you haven't visited the grave with your parents for many years. Are your parents buried on the hillside or in the cemetery in your hometown? If you are in a cemetery, someone will manage it every year, that's no big deal. Come to the grave at least every two or three years. If you live on a hillside in Tomb-Sweeping Day for a year, you should take some time to go back to the grave with your parents. Now Tomb-Sweeping Day countries are also on holiday. If you don't go to the grave on the hillside, a big tree grows on your parents' grave, which is not good for you. For your dead parents, it seems that you have left them alone. Although you are filial to them and can't spare the time, you should come to the grave anyway. In traditional festivals in China, you still remember to provide meals for your parents, which also shows that you still remember your parents. Of course, this is also a custom in various places, and it is necessary for us to do so here.

I don't know if you have this phenomenon there. On our side, I know that several families have trees on their ancestral graves, and no one cares. Later, the offspring got sick. I found some people who know it, and I know it is this reason. One thing is particularly obvious, that is, our big family has a eldest sister-in-law and a ancestral grave, half of which was damaged by cattle. Later, eldest sister-in-law couldn't move half a hand. She didn't know it was that reason until someone looked it up. After that, my sister-in-law's hand is fine again.

Generally speaking, everyone wants to have a son when they are old. One hundred years later, I hope someone will provide food for the festival and someone will sweep the graves in Tomb-Sweeping Day, which means that this family will have descendants. This is the law of life that people expect.

It doesn't matter if you don't solve this matter.

As children, parents should try their best to be filial when they are alive, and try their best to make their parents enjoy happiness when they are alive.

I am in the same situation as you. I also work in other places, so I don't have time to go home to my grave.

I remember when my parents died, my elders told me that there was no need to follow our custom because I was not at home. According to our custom, I have to stay at home for more than a month, so I can't go back to work.

I remember those elders told me that it was enough to send my parents safely to the ground, and I could go to work when I went back to work. As for going to the cemetery, I go to the grave whenever I have time, not according to the festival. I seem to be comforted by what my elders said.

I don't know what customs you have there, but our elders have also made changes here. It wasn't like this before. It's all the same.

In the past, people who had children at home said that they would not go to the grave on holidays. The most exasperating thing is that people obviously have descendants, and some people insist that this family does not go to the grave, which is the ugliest.

Therefore, whether filial or unfilial, we all go to the grave on holidays. Generally, we go to the grave for this sentence, and go to the grave for the living.

It is understandable that you should be busy with your work. After all, it is a grave. Now there is a cemetery, and there are no weeds on the grave, and there is no need to add soil. It seems unreasonable for me to say this, but the specific situation is specific. Now let me talk about my parents. Why should I say no? My parents are civilized people. They say, it is better to be filial to live than to shine in the grave. Tell our brothers and sisters not to cry, not to burn paper money, not to make sacrifices (that is, to cook vegetarian meals), and not to say that it is all a lie. This is how they left their last words to our brothers and sisters. Of course, every time our brothers and sisters go to Tomb-Sweeping Day on the first day of the first month, they will visit their old people in the cemetery with flowers. ...

It has been more than 30 years since my father died. I have only been there three times. First, it's a long way. Second, trouble. Third, I'm not available. I don't burn paper or worship god. It doesn't feel interesting When the old man is alive, it is better to follow more than anything else! I told my family and children that after my death, my body will be donated to medical school for teaching, and everything that can be used will be burned, leaving nothing behind and no need to pay homage.

With parents in mind, you can sacrifice anytime and anywhere. I remember my old father told us about his grandparents many times. What he told was a story that impressed us deeply and even made us associate with it. My father is in Tianjin, and he hasn't been back to his hometown many times in his life, but his memory of his parents has been deeply left in our memory. Father went home for the last time with four brothers. My father took us to the old house where he was born and the burial place. It's already a large forest, and the grave is buried deep. We all knelt on the ground, with our heads on the ground, and took a deep breath. That is the land we will always miss, and that is our root.

How do you say this? According to what you said, you really did your duty. When you died, you were too far away to go to the grave. When you are in Tomb-Sweeping Day, give some money to your next of kin to take with you. Then you have to go home once in a while to visit your parents' graves.

My mother died many years ago, and my brother and sister-in-law all went to the grave. In my hometown, there is a saying that our daughter goes to the grave and is poor. If our brother won't let us go, we will give him money to let them go to the grave.

My humble opinion is not necessarily right.

Personally, I think my parents are very filial when they are alive, and they can do whatever they want after death.

People die like lights, no matter how much paper you burn, you may not spend it all.

However, since we China people have this custom, we are born in society, so we should not be completely refined. Go and see more whenever you are free. Tell your parents any grievances in your life, whether it's life or death, it's still your parents. In this heartless world, no one really cares about you except parents.

I still have to go to the grave. I don't know the customs of your hometown. The custom of my hometown is that if you can't go home to go to the grave, you can burn paper at the crossroads and write your parents' names on paper money (meaning to let ta people collect money). Although these are superstitions, I have to believe them, because my father often dreams of his dead grandfather and says that he dreams of asking him for money, because his father is in the countryside, and he will go to Tomb-Sweeping Day and grandpa's death day. According to my father's dream, it means that grandpa is short of money in another world and has no money to buy things. Every time my father talked about it, it seemed that Grandpa was really short of things, so my father would go to the grave the next day to burn some paper money and tell him to go to another world to buy flowers for Grandpa. Anyway, it is convenient to burn paper in the countryside, but not in the city. The subject can burn some paper money for the dead parents at the intersection to comfort the dead old man.

I was an only child in the 1950s, and my parents were sent away by my children and my husband. Even when I am busy, I will try to burn paper and incense for my ancestors according to the festival, and never find any reason to reduce it once, including my in-laws, who have never met. My life is very good, and I feel that I am accumulating virtue for myself.