Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - The sketch material reflects campus life and is positive.
The sketch material reflects campus life and is positive.
Freshman: "(walking out from the edge of the stage, as if strolling) I am a ## freshman, 16 years old, unmarried. I am very talented and impressive, and I know astronomy well and geography well. Know everything, know everything, and be omnipotent! Today I heard that the student union of my school is recruiting new students to be cadres. I had no interest in becoming an official, but I heard that being a student union cadre is quite prestigious, so let’s go check it out! ”
(Walk to the student union)
Freshman: “Wow! As soon as you enter the door, you will see the learning department. Our school is really focused on learning!”
Academic cadre: (The freshmen met the director of the study department as soon as they entered the door. She was holding a collection of poems and reciting emotionally there) "There is bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. Look up at the bright moon and lower your head to miss your hometown!" (Sweat!!!!)
Freshman: (Applauding and walking towards him, speaking in a flattering tone of course) "This must be the director of the study department! Hello, young student!!" (Bowling with both hands) )
Student cadre: "Oh, yes, I am the head of the study department who claims to have gathered the top study backbones in the school! (satisfied) I wonder what this brother does for you?"
p>Freshman: "I came to the Student Union to apply for a job as a cadre. When I came in, I was in your study department, and I was attracted by your voice, so I applied to your department first! I don't know what the conditions are for being a cadre.
Xue Cadre: "I dare you! You really have great ambitions. I can't talk about the conditions. I just need some basic things." (Shen took a look at the front and back. )
Freshman: "What is it?" (Looking at her hand with a curious face)
Student cadre: "(Facing the audience) For example, the academic performance must be in the whole school Ranking in the top ten, I am actually the first in the whole grade, so I will relax the requirements for you. This is the most important; (blowing on her fingernails) Then you need to be able to play an instrument, such as piano or flute, but I can play three instruments. Oh! (Turns to the freshman, sees that he is still there, and then turns to the audience) So I have relaxed the requirements for you; of course, you also have the same artistic appreciation ability as me. (The freshman immediately vomited when he heard this and ran off the stage) You don’t have to be as poetic as me, but you have to have the same hobbies as me. Huh? Where is the person?”
(Before he finished speaking, Xinsheng had disappeared)
p>Student cadre: "Why are the current classmates so impatient? Forget it, (reciting tone) Even if I am the only one in the department, I can hold up the sky! I am so poetic!" ! ! HOHOHO! There’s a bright moonlight in front of the bed, it’s probably frost on the ground...” (Reading and walking off the stage)
Freshman: “I didn’t expect there was such a person in the study department! You're a narcissist, it'll be a disaster if you get selected! Why? There is a girls' club in the student union?" (showing a rather lewd expression)
Female cadre: (Seeing someone outside the door, she walked out and asked) "Is there anything this classmate can help you with? I am the head of the girls' department of the student union. ”
Freshman: “(Low voice and prolongation) Wow! Sure enough, there is a hidden beauty in the girls' department. Ah, eldest sister, I’m here to apply for the position of student union cadre.
Female cadre: "Oh, welcome. Which department do you want to apply for?"
Freshman: "Is this...hey!" Just your girls department!
Female cadre: (facing the audience) "Huh?" But our girls’ department has never accepted male cadres? Because many tasks in our department are carried out with female students as the core, all in order to provide girls with a better learning and living environment, you are a boy..."
Freshmen (grasp Crazy, suddenly thought): "Sister, this is wrong! In ancient times, there was Shang Yang's reform, and now there is the United States' attack on Iraq. There are exceptions in everything, and innovation is required in everything.
I always have meticulous care for girls. Girls’ problems are my problems. Girls’ worries (make a charming gesture) are my worries, big sister! For the happiness of hundreds of girls in our school, please let me join the girls' club..." (Kneel down on one knee, be decisive)
Female cadre: "...Okay Okay, if I accept YOU, our department will make an exception and accept you as a male cadre. Then you come with me now to solve an urgent girl problem..."
Freshman: "Oh? What's the problem?
Female cadre: "Well, although we girls usually love to talk and laugh, (a scene of two girls joking and joking appeared on the side of the stage), sometimes we have small conflicts. No, two girls in the second year of high school Just because of a little thing, we are quarreling now..." (When you start to quarrel, don't make any noise, but be more intense, it happened suddenly)
Freshman: "Hey, isn't it a girl? Are the kids quarreling? I'll go and settle things right away..." (I was about to leave, but was pulled back)
Female cadre: "Wait a minute... You don't know something. The problems we girls have are trivial. It can be small, it can be big. If you don't handle it well, they may..."
Freshman (fearful): "What will happen..." ( Looking at the two girls on the side of the stage together)
Female cadre: “I’ll grab your hair (the freshmen will hold their heads together), hook your nostrils (cover your nose), and tear your clothes... ." (At this time, the two people on the stage did what the female cadre said and made jokes)
Freshman: "(covering the chest with both hands) Wow! indecent! ! "
Female cadre: "You're scared"
Freshman: "Ah...no, no...my clothes are from Metersbonwe. Isn’t this problem suitable for a boy like me? I’ll leave it to you girls to solve on your own! I'm leaving first..."
Female cadre: "Hey! Don't go! We girls need you..." (Chasing the freshmen off the stage, coming back when he was about to reach the edge of the stage, and said to the audience: "Hey, I'd better solve the girl problem by myself!" After that, he walked over and talked to the girl The two girls said a few words and then the three of them left the stage together)
Freshman: (ran onto the stage again) “These girls are really troublesome! Forget it, let’s go check out other departments. "
Cadre Lao: (Appearing from the other side) "Alas..."
Freshman: "Huh? Why is this elder brother lamenting and sighing? Could it be that it’s also about girls? "
Cadre Lao: "Oh! No, no, I am the Minister of Labor and Welfare. (To the audience) It has always been the unshirkable responsibility of our Ministry of Labor and Welfare to enable everyone to live in an elegant campus, study in a bright and clean classroom, and rest in a tidy dormitory. (Didn’t come back to his senses for a long time, then glanced at the new student) Are you..."
Freshman: "(Took a step back) I have long... I have admired the name of the Ministry of Labor and Welfare for a long time, my little brother today I just came here for the position of cadre of the Ministry of Labor and Welfare..."
Labour cadre: "Okay! You come with me right away! "(Pull the freshman and talk while walking)
Freshman: "Let's go? Where to go? ”
Labour cadre: “Canteen! ”
Freshman: “(Excited) Canteen! (Walks forward and whispers to the audience) Oh, the Ministry of Labor and Welfare is the Ministry of Labor and Welfare! Let’s talk about everything at the dinner table! So impressive! (Stops and holds the hand of the labor cadre) Brother! I'm committed to you...but? It seems it's not time to eat yet? Later, okay? ”
Minister Lao: “Oh, where can I go to eat!” We are here to express our opinions about the canteen to the students. ”
Freshman: “What’s your opinion?” ”
Minister Lao: “You are a new student, you may not realize it. Let me ask you, when you go to the canteen to get food, have you ever noticed that when the waiter is serving you rice or vegetables, are your hands always like this, shaking... shaking..."
Xinsheng: "(meditate for a moment) Well...it seems like that's the case.
Minister Lao: "That's right. Every time she shakes, she loses one or two pieces of meat." "(Counting the fallen meat, looking very distressed) (sweat!!!!!)
Freshman: "(It doesn't matter) Huh? Isn’t it just one or two pieces of meat? ”
Minister Lao: “Classmate! (serious) You don’t understand this! Each of us is short of one or two pieces of meat. If we add up thousands of students, we are just a fat pig! "(Made a gesture of hugging a pig)
Freshman: "Ah! ! ! Sorry, I'm not good at bargaining. You'd better go on your own..."
Minister Lao: "Hey! Don't leave? Classmates..." (chasing off the stage)
Freshman: "(sweat!!!!!) (on stage again to face the audience) (this is the first time!!!) The Ministry of Labor and Welfare turns out to be a bunch of stingy people! It doesn’t matter if you don’t get into this department. Huh? The two men in front have extraordinary charisma, so they must have some background! (Running up to block the front) Xiaosheng pays homage to these two heroes. "
Minister of Administration: "Oh, I am the Minister of Administration and Security, and he is my assistant. It seems that you are a freshman, right? Our Security Department cooperates with the security department of the college to do a good job in the security and security work of the school. Do you need any help? ”
Freshman: “No, no, I, I want to apply for a job as a cadre of the Department of Public Security...”
(The phone rang suddenly, the assistant picked up the phone and handed it to the minister. It said "Minister, your phone number!")
Minister Zhi: "Oh, wait a moment, I'll answer the phone. Hello? Yes, this is the Department of Public Security. What's going on? (Freshman curiously approaches to listen to the content) What? Two drug dealers wandered into our city? Nine deaths and one injury were caused on the way! (Freshman looks surprised) What? Maybe he hid in our school! ! (Freshman's expression is stiff) Okay, please inform other departments, I...oh, I just recruited a new cadre here, I'll call him right away! (Freshman runs away in panic) Wait a moment. Hey, why is he missing..."
Freshman: "(Super sweaty!!!!!!! He ran up again, fuming) What a danger! What a risk! I never thought that joining the Public Security Department would put your life in danger... (I saw a boy walking into the student union) Classmate! classmate! Are you like me and want to apply for a job as a student union leader? I advise you not to go! The student union is full of weirdos, either stupid or stingy, plus a narcissist! By the way, it’s also life-threatening! ! Listen to me, don't go! Don't go! "(At this time, the four ministers took turns to go up to the stage to say hello to the chairman, then glared at the freshmen and stepped down, hiding aside to eavesdrop. The freshmen didn't hear once and the chairman bent down until he put one hand on the ground)
The freshmen : "Ah Lord...Chairman"
Chairman: (Chairman helped him up) "Well, hello, classmate, I forgot to introduce myself to you, I am the president of the student union in this world. What you just said is absolutely correct. What our student union cadres do is indeed some hard work, but as long as it can serve and help the students, no matter how hard or tiring it is, we will do it! (The four people who were hiding aside ran out to applaud, and then ran away again as the chairman said, "I haven't finished speaking yet.") If you just want to live in office and are afraid of hard work, I advise you not to join the student union. . "
Freshman: "...Chairman, you are right. When compared with other cadres just now, (looking at the stands) I realized how selfish and insignificant I am. I will definitely make corrections when I go back and learn from them! (affectionately) There have been N opportunities for me to join the student union, but I didn’t cherish them. (Suddenly, a student ran up to him and handed him a napkin. After taking it, the freshman pinched his nose, said thank you and gave it back to the student. Then A student looked at the new student with a disgusted expression) If God gives me another chance, I will definitely apply for (pause) Student Union President! ! ”
Chairman: “Oh my God! "(Shocked, the four of them came to the stage to support the chairman, and everyone froze)
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