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How do parents communicate with their sons?
How do parents communicate with their sons? The premise of educating children is to attach importance to it. Parents can encourage their children to actively solve problems and improve their ability to resist stress. It is absolutely impossible to provide children with a better study and life through corporal punishment. Share with you how parents communicate with their sons.
How do parents communicate with their sons? 1 When communicating with children, we should pay attention to words, avoid threatening and scaring children, and encourage children with more praise and affirmation, so that children will be more willing to communicate with us.
If you want to communicate effectively, you must first adjust your attitude, don't keep a straight face, and give your child a condescending feeling. More should be a moderate and equal attitude. Let children feel respect and attention.
Learn to listen, understand your child's real thoughts, and don't be suspicious and distrustful.
Instead of children's feelings, he also has his own joys and sorrows. Don't always ignore children's feelings from our perspective.
Learn to tell your child that communication is a two-way street. You should know your child's thoughts, and both parents and children know each other's thoughts.
Everyone's tolerance is limited. Don't make a big mistake because of your parents' temporary mistakes. Communicate well with children and avoid extreme behavior.
How do parents communicate with their sons? 2. The principle of communication between parents and children
1, communicate with children more.
Many parents neglect their children because of their busy work and seldom spend time with them. Other parents believe that parents' opinions must be accepted unconditionally by their children. In this way, after a long time, the children and their parents became estranged. Therefore, parents must communicate with their children, let them understand their love, and children can accept their parents' guidance.
2. Don't always criticize, accuse and complain.
At present, there are more than three in family education: too many shortcomings and too few advantages; Too much criticism and too little motivation; Too much reprimand and too little praise.
Children who grow up in reprimand are more inclined to condemn others, and such people are the least popular. Scold and blame often have no good effect, but only make others strengthen their guard against you and try their best to prove themselves right; Scolding and blaming will also hurt a person's self-esteem, while excessive harm will cause the other person's disgust.
Step 3 learn to listen
Communication between parents and children is very important, but in this kind of communication, we parents should also pay attention to one thing: talk less and listen more.
One day, a mother got laryngitis and lost her voice. My son came back from school and said, "Mom, the teacher criticized me." Then tell the teacher what's wrong. At that time, the mother especially wanted to criticize her son: you are wrong and the teacher is right. But because my voice was hoarse and I couldn't speak, I had to stare at my son and say. When the son finally finished speaking, suddenly the son added, "Mom, I thank you." She was stunned and didn't know what her son meant. The son added, "Thank you for listening to me so much today." The next day, the son said to his mother, "Mom, although you didn't say anything yesterday, I have understood that I was wrong about the teacher." This is the power of listening. No need to comment. The child woke up in the process of talking.
4. Appreciate and appreciate others sincerely.
The deepest need of human nature is to be appreciated by others. Everyone is willing to work and live with people who appreciate themselves. To make children popular, children must learn to appreciate and thank others sincerely.
The owner of an American supermarket is estranged from his son and often criticizes his son. One day, he went to the store run by his son and found that the store had changed from a loss to a profit. Customers and shop assistants liked his son very much. He took his son aside and said, "You're doing very well. No one can attract so many customers like you! " "Unexpectedly, Niu Gaoma's son said with tears," Dad, you have never praised me like this. I'm glad you feel this way about me. "The father later said to others," This is the first real communication between my son and me when he grows up. "
If you want your children and husband to like you, you must be interested in them; If you want your child to be loved by classmates and teachers, you should let him thank others for their help in time.
5. Guide children to get along with others.
Pay attention to cultivate children's generous, polite, cheerful and lively personality in daily life, encourage children to develop a variety of hobbies, and help children improve their language skills. Teach children to be good at discovering the advantages of others and really appreciate others. When others have shortcomings, we should sincerely help them and point them out in an appropriate way, so that they can easily accept them and deepen their friendship. When you are in conflict with others, don't avoid it. If you are wronged, you can express your inner feelings in appropriate language, let the other party understand, and then resolve the contradiction. Never haggle over every ounce, complain about others, and have a tolerant scale. If you have wronged others, you should feel guilty and ashamed, take the initiative to admit your mistakes, apologize, and seek forgiveness from others. Don't stick to your own opinions and deepen contradictions. At the same time, parents should also be strict with themselves and do a good job in words and deeds.
6. Discover the advantages of others and don't gossip about others.
A farmer's mother is very good at teaching her children to discover the advantages of everyone in the village and family, and tells her children: "Everyone is a grass, and there is a dewdrop on every grass. In the sun, every drop of dew will shine. " So, her children learned to be kind.
Some of our young mothers don't pay much attention to this and often gossip behind others' backs. Over time, children will easily learn to gossip. Gossiping children have the least friends. Here, I especially want to warn girls not to talk about people behind their backs.
7. Understand and respect children.
Understanding and respecting children can effectively narrow the psychological distance between you and your children and narrow the generation gap. Understanding is an emotion of unconditional love and respect, which requires your selflessness and love. But as parents, we often take our "face" very seriously. We often expect our children to obey us unconditionally, but we can't respect them unconditionally. Of course, this does not require parents to agree with all the children's views and behaviors, but we should be able to put ourselves in the child's shoes, see with the child's eyes, listen with the child's ears and think with the child's head.
Second, how do parents communicate with their children?
1, really annoying: Why don't children listen to their parents?
Babbling and preaching are easy to make children rebellious; Parents' long-term complaints will hurt their children's body and mind; "obedient education" oppresses children's hearts; The more parents scold, the less children listen; Don't talk to children in ways they don't like.
2. Learn to hug and whisper.
In hugging, people can gain a sense of security and trust, which is a kind of rest with all one's heart. Anxiety can be alleviated or calmed down. People are most rational when they are calm and psychologically stable.
Whispering is more convincing and moving than expression at normal volume. Because the gesture of whispering just now has shown a particularly close relationship between two people.
Never break a child's heart: parents should change the inappropriate way of speaking to their children.
Never talk to children in a rude way; Talking to children with a straight face will be counterproductive; Interrupting children's complaints at will is an obstacle to communication; Be good at praising children instead of always blaming them; Don't look down on children's abilities; Don't rush to correct your child's out-of-line ideas.
4. Tell your children how you really feel.
When parents talk with their children, it is very important to accurately convey their inner thoughts and wishes, so that children can feel the care and goodwill contained in their parents' "criticism" and "education", which can reduce their resistance caused by their parents' "inappropriate words".
As a parent, are you good at talking to children? Only parents who can talk can educate their children effectively.
Parents can talk, which is conducive to the healthy growth of children; Talking to children is a very exquisite art, and a casual remark will affect a child's life. Talking parents can make children confident. Parent-child communication helps to shape children's sound personality.
Third, how to help children become popular people?
1, let the children understand.
Nowadays, children are often loved by their parents. No matter what and how many requirements children have, many parents always try their best to satisfy their children unprincipled, thinking that this is the way to love their children. Even if the child is unreasonable, parents think that the child is still young and not sensible, so they accommodate and forgive the child. In fact, parents doting on their children like this can only make them unruly and willful. Children must be self-centered, so how can they get along with others? Therefore, it is necessary for parents to let their children understand the truth of interacting with others and let them consciously cultivate themselves to become a popular person.
2. Let children learn from the strengths of others and praise the benefits of others.
Let children realize that everyone has strengths, and those who are good at learning from each other's strengths are the most powerful; Everyone has a desire to be appreciated, and those who can discover the advantages of others in time and sincerely praise them will be welcomed by everyone.
3. Educate children to care about others.
Nowadays, most children are only children, and everything in the family revolves around them. In children's minds: enjoyment is their own business, and giving is someone else's business. In this way, it is easy for children to form selfish personalities. Therefore, parents should let their children know how to care for others, help people in trouble, and cultivate their sense of responsibility and obligation. Educate children: respect teachers at school, get along well with classmates, and care more about groups and classmates; At home, we should honor our parents and do more things for them. In addition, we should also support children to participate in some social welfare activities, give them as many opportunities to care for others as possible, and cultivate children ("natural people") into "social people" (people who adapt to society).
4. Let children respect the opinions of others and see the role of others.
When children learn to talk to others, don't deny others' opinions at the beginning, but first consider what others' opinions are reasonable, starting with mutual recognition. Don't think that you are the only one who matters. Recognize that everyone is important and make the other person feel that he is an "important person".
5. Create a communication environment for children.
In daily life, there are many opportunities to guide children to learn to communicate with others. In public places, children can learn to associate with people they don't know, such as shopping, traveling, partying and playing, which can give children communication exercises. At home, there are also many opportunities for children to learn to communicate, such as friendly exchanges between neighbors, friends and colleagues, home visits and chatting, which can help children learn to entertain and be guests, thus improving their communication skills and promoting friendship.
6. Let children learn to thank others for their help and forgive others' mistakes.
Teach children to say a few more words of thanks and leave some friendly sparks wherever they go. These small sparks will ignite the flame of friendship; No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Let children learn to remember the benefits of others more, and don't always keep others' mistakes in mind. Tell your child that I sincerely hope you can handle interpersonal relationships and make more friends.
How do parents communicate with their sons? 1. Pay more attention to children's inner thoughts and listen more.
Educator Isabella Chow once said: If you want to communicate with children, you must learn to listen. Listening is the premise of effective communication with children.
In The Road Few People Walk, it is said that listening is to focus on each other and is a concrete manifestation of love.
Many parents don't really listen to their children when communicating with them. As soon as a child says something, parents are eager to give advice, comfort or express their attitudes and feelings. As a result, communication with children was destroyed.
In fact, if parents can really listen to their children, they will be happy to talk to them. As carl rogers, a humanistic psychologist, wrote:
"If someone listens to you, doesn't judge you, and doesn't want to change you, it would be great … whenever I get people's listening and understanding, I can look at the world with a new eye and move on … once someone listens, seemingly unsolvable problems will be solved and complex ideas will become clear."
Therefore, if parents want to listen to their children, they need to put down their existing ideas and judgments first, because analysis and evaluation hinder listening. Listening does not need analysis, but also can feel the feelings of children wholeheartedly and communicate with children on an equal footing.
Second, pay attention to all aspects of children.
When parents communicate with their children, if they always talk about learning topics, such as: Have you finished your homework? Have the exam results come out? Why not study hard? Wait, as long as you open your mouth, you can't do without learning, which will bring great pressure to your child and arouse his disgust. When parents communicate with their children, children will choose to escape and refuse to communicate.
So parents can pay more attention to other aspects of their children, such as: What sports do children like? What games do you like to play? What topics do children usually care about?
When parents pay attention to and understand these aspects of their children, they will have more common topics when communicating with their children, and children will be interested in communicating with their parents and will not be disgusted with communicating with their parents.
Third, accept children, respect children and communicate on an equal footing.
Psychological research shows that if a person can accept you unconditionally and actively, listen to you without any evaluation, and listen to your inner feelings and thoughts, this is love, which is the best and highest level of communication.
There are many parents who are always condescending when communicating with their children, criticizing and accusing them at every turn, making them unwilling to communicate.
And if parents communicate with their children in an equal and respectful way, when children feel respect and trust, they will open their hearts and speak freely with their parents.
In the education of children, parents should constantly reflect on themselves, maintain good communication with their children, and let their children grow up better.
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