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Small Doudou by the window: Watering children's hearts with beauty.

The Little Doudou by the Window is a best-selling children's literature for decades. It has been translated into 33 languages and distributed all over the world. To this day, it is also the best-selling book in Japan. Twenty years ago, this book was introduced to China, which caused a great sensation. Children, parents, teachers and educational researchers are all talking about it. Although this book is a children's book, it has aroused the persistent reading enthusiasm of the education sector and parents. Many people have written relevant review articles, analyzing the educational ideas and methods embodied in the book from various angles. Basically, children who have read this book hope that they can enter the Ba Xueyuan described in the book, and both teachers and parents think that the personalized and undifferentiated love education in the book can only be ideal under the existing conditions, even though the Ba Xueyuan used to be a real primary school.

The biggest touch of this book is that childhood education really has such a great influence on a person's life!

I have been reading books on parenting since I had children. The influence of childhood education on people is actually a topic I have listened to for many years. However, in the past, most of these remarks were interpreted from the perspective of problem youth or problem children. These remarks always tell us that if a person has suffered psychological trauma in his childhood, he will have a psychological shadow. Without effective guidance, this shadow may affect his life and even lead to mental illness. This kind of speech makes us parents often feel afraid and constantly review ourselves, for fear that our words and deeds will have a bad influence on the growth of our children. But the book "Little Peas by the Window" is so different. It shows us how a good childhood education can make those children who are flawed in others' eyes grow into healthy and happy people, which not only gives us hope, but also gives us a good demonstration through the teachers of Ba Xueyuan and the parents of Xiao Doudou.

To understand this, we first need to know the author of this book, Tetsuko Kuroyanagi. Tetsuko Kuroyanagi is a well-known old lady in Japan today. Apart from other achievements, it is said that the TV talk show "The Cabin of a Car" hosted by her has aired more than 10,000 issues, and Japanese artists are proud of this program, which is enough to prove her Excellence. People often think that such a person must be an enviable "other people's child" in her childhood. However, the fact is that we are disappointed. When she was a child, she was dismissed because she was judged to be a problem child. Finally, after many tossing and turning, she entered the unique primary school described in the book-Ba Xueyuan. She explained in the book that the word "window" gives people a feeling of being excluded from the periphery, rather than being in the main position. ..... and in the first school, in fact, I always had a vague sense of exclusion. "The purpose of her writing this book is to tell you that a girl named Xiao Doudou, under the guidance of the adults around her, was finally able to learn the story of getting along with everyone smoothly.

Let's take a look at the Ba Xue Garden that fascinates children. This school has simple facilities. The school gates are connected by two trees, and the classrooms are transformed by old trams. There are only more than 50 students in Ba Xueyuan. Some of them are physically disabled children, some are "problem children" who are rejected by other schools like Xiao Doudou, and some students are not suitable to be ordinary pupils for other reasons. Anyway, this school is very similar to our special school now. However, among these more than 50 students, a famous artist like Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, several dancers and a representative Japanese physicist have grown up. Other people who work in ordinary posts are also optimistic and happy. Even decades later, these students get together at the sports meeting of Ba Xueyuan every year. It can be said that the period of Ba Xueyuan is a happy time that they cherish all their lives.

In fact, the happy time in Ba Xueyuan not only gave them a happy childhood, but also changed their fate. As Tetsuko Kuroyanagi said, "If I hadn't entered the Ba Xue Garden and met Mr. Kobayashi, I was afraid that no matter what I did, I would be labeled as a' bad boy' and surrounded by inferiority complex, and I didn't know what to do. Maybe you will have this feeling of being at a loss until you grow up? " Xiao Doudou, who was judged as a problem child by ordinary schools, vaguely felt rejected. In Ba Xue Garden, because of Mr. Kobayashi's trust, respect and praise of "You are a good boy", she became a happy and confident child and eventually became the most famous old lady in Japan. Of course, in addition to teacher Kobayashi's efforts, it is also very important for Xiao Doudou's mother to deal with Xiao Doudou when she is persuaded to quit. She didn't tell Xiao Doudou that she had to transfer because she was persuaded to quit, which prevented Xiao Doudou from turning her vague sense of rejection into inferiority.

In addition to Xiao Doudou, I was deeply impressed by the high physical disability. Gao Qiao seems to be suffering from dwarfism, with extremely short arms and legs. If such a child doesn't meet President Kobayashi, the biggest possibility is that he will have an inferiority complex with physical disabilities all his life. Fortunately, however, he entered the Ba Xueyuan. Through careful design, President Kobayashi enabled Mr. Gao Qiao to win a grand slam in the sports meeting every time. By letting the children swim naked, he got rid of the sense of shame caused by different bodies. Teacher Kobayashi often tells children that "you are all the same" and "no matter what kind of body is beautiful", so that healthy children should not have special respect for children with defects. Gao is studying in such an environment and growing into an optimistic and confident person. Later, he was admitted to Meiji University. After graduation, I worked as a "coordinator" in a company to solve the problem of harmonious interpersonal relationship in the company. In the postscript of this book, the author recorded an interview with some students in Ba Xueyuan, in which Gao Qiao clearly told her that "she didn't feel inferior because of her physical defects".

Xiao Doudou and Gao, two vivid examples, let us see the beauty of education and tell us that any problem of children is not a real problem. As long as we water their hearts with beauty, they will definitely repay us with beauty.

However, the problem is coming. How can we water children's hearts with beauty?

Many people have written articles summarizing the educational ideas and methods embodied in the book "Little Peas by the Window". In fact, it is nothing more than the following: respect children, encourage children, trust children, and be tolerant of children. But these points are written in other books. Why is this book the only one so attractive?

My personal feeling is that other books are from the perspective of educators to explain these. Many times, we can understand and accept these educational ideas, but when we really do it, children may not accept it, because the respect that adults deliberately do from the perspective of adults may not make children feel respected. You think you squat down and look him in the eye and talk to him. You think you respect him by telling him that you can understand his feelings. You think that if you ask his advice before making a decision, you will respect him ... but if all these behaviors are not natural emotional expressions, children will not feel truly respected.

Tetsuko Kuroyanagi mentioned a small detail in the postscript of The Little Doudou by the Window. She said that Mr. Sano, who had worked with him for many years, wanted to collect information about Mr. Kobayashi because of a woman's words. This lady once helped Mr. Kobayashi take rhythmic gymnastics classes. She told Mr. Sano that Mr. Kobayashi had said to her, "Hey, the children won't just leave." Mr. Kobayashi means that the lady doesn't know the breathing frequency of the child. Therefore, all the educational ideas and methods of Mr. Kobayashi can really work, which are based on his real understanding of children.

When we read this book, we feel a kind of emotion and beauty wholeheartedly, because every behavior of President Kobayashi happens naturally when we know the children, and there is no deliberate component. Because children are curious, they will be allowed to spend the night watching trams on campus and take this opportunity to explain physics knowledge; Because I know the meaning of unrestrained exercise to children, I will say to my parents, "Please let the children wear the worst clothes to school"; Because I know what children like, I arranged a simple camping activity in the auditorium and slept in a tent. Because I understand the inferiority complex brought by the disabled body, I carefully designed sports programs to let the disabled children win the first place. Knowing that children have their own judgments and persistence has not stopped Xiao Doudou from digging a cesspit in order to find a wallet. They just said to her, "When you have finished eating, you should put it all back"; Knowing the pure kindness of the child, I still bite the "healthy bark" that Xiao Doudou handed me after seeing through it ... Only those who really understand the child can give the child real respect and trust and truly tolerate all kinds of "stupid things" made by the child.

Fortunately, the book "Little Doudou by the Window" not only shows us a good teacher who really understands and loves children, but also gives us a window to understand the inner world of children through Xiao Doudou's perspective and afterwards analysis. So, what kind of respect and trust do children need? In fact, as an adult, it is very simple to respect and trust him.

This point can be discussed directly in the book.

The reason why Xiao Doudou likes a person is very simple, that is, he likes to respect her as an adult.

Xiao Doudou fell in love with President Kobayashi the first time he met him. The reason is that Mr Kobayashi listened carefully to what Xiao Doudou said for four hours. The author wrote: No matter before or after, no one has ever listened to Xiao Doudou so carefully.

In the event of digging a cesspit, although Xiao Doudou didn't find her wallet in the end, she still felt "quite satisfied". The author analyzed and said: "In fact, there is another point in Xiao Doudou's satisfaction because' Mr. President is not angry with what I have done, and he trusts me very much and respects me as a person with great personality. "

During the winter vacation, Xiao Doudou went skiing and skating with his parents at the invitation of the famous skier Schneider. After the end, Shawnard bent down, took Xiao Doudou's hand and thanked her. The author wrote: The young man does not treat Xiao Doudou as a child, but respects him as a young lady. When the man bent down, Xiao Doudou felt his friendliness and courtesy from his heart.

In order to look like an adult, Xiao Doudou often takes pains to imitate the dressing, words and deeds of "adults", hoping to get recognition.

In order to look like a senior elder sister, Xiao Doudou has long hair. Finally, one day, her mother braided a braid for her. She feels "like a senior" and is so happy. But at school, the naughty boy takes pleasure in pulling her braids. Xiao Doudou sobbed because: "Braids are a symbol of' mature women', so when you see Xiao Doudou with braids, maybe everyone will say' I'm sorry' like an adult woman, but who knows ..."

In order to have a good performance at the picnic, Xiao Doudou studied the movements and processes of her mother's cooking in advance, and also specially studied the "Oyo yo yo movement when her mother picked up the lid and put her hand on the earlobe at once, because she felt that this movement was too adult, and she really did it at the picnic, which was very satisfying.

Many people will say that it seems a little difficult to respect and trust children as adults, because children's bodies are not fully developed and their abilities are limited, and sometimes they are really uneasy! But this book clearly tells us that in fact, children, no matter how small they look, can definitely understand what is really interesting.

That's true.

In order to live up to the headmaster's trust, Xiao Doudou put the hill back to the original urinal completely according to the agreement with the headmaster after digging the cesspit, and made a layer of seepage soil with a spoon and sent it to the urinal. Finally, he leveled the ground, restored the opening of the cesspit to its original state, and put the long ladle back in the tool room. At that time, Xiao Doudou was only a first-grade pupil, and she had found a solution to the problem by thinking about herself.

In the summer vacation of Grade One, Xiao Doudou and Daming took a big adventure behind their backs-she invited Daming, who was already suffering from polio, to climb her tree. Temin's hands and feet are twisted and he has no strength. The whole process of climbing trees is basically completed by Xiao Doudou. In order to help Taming climb the tree, Xiao Doudou ran to the school tool room to find the ladder pedal, put Taming on the top of the ladder pedal, and then dragged Taming up the tree with all his strength. This process took a long time. On the way, Xiao Doudou found it very difficult to drag Taiming from the ladder to the tree and almost cried. However, she didn't cry, "because she thought that if she cried, Temin would certainly cry." Here, we see a little girl with thought and courage. For her own decision, she tried her best, gritted her teeth and persisted until the end, and finally succeeded. Therefore, as long as children want to do something, they will show amazing wisdom and courage like adults.

In addition, children's learning ability should not be underestimated. In order to have an excellent performance in the picnic, Xiao Doudou always follows her mother closely when she is busy in the kitchen, learning how to use a kitchen knife, how to pick up a pot, how to hold rice and so on. On the day of the formal picnic, Xiao Doudou's performance was really excellent. Not only did she cut vegetables evenly and beautifully, but she also taught senior boys to cut vegetables and made a plate of pickles with a brainwave, which made everyone admire. You know, Xiao Doudou was just in the second grade.

Some people may say that even if children have certain thinking and learning ability, their minds are not sound enough and they often do stupid things. In fact, the so-called "stupid things" are just the values of adults. Take Xiao Doudou as an example to dig a cesspit for his beloved wallet. Most adults will think this is stupid, but if the wallet is replaced by a valuable diamond ring, many people's attitudes will take a big turn. That's because, in the eyes of adults, wallets are worthless, but in the eyes of small peas who like this wallet, wallets may be more precious than diamond rings. Therefore, what we call stupidity is actually just something that does not conform to some secular values. If we abandon this kind of values and just regard it as an action made by a person in search of precious things, where is the stupidity?

Therefore, what really hinders us from respecting children is the values of the adult world. If we can put aside secular values when we look at children, you will find that many things children do are reasonable. For example, many children want to buy a certain toy when they see it. Although there are already many toys at home, parents will think that their children's requirements are a bit excessive. But if you think about those who like to collect, who have bought many similar items? Aside from the price and appreciation space, toys are as meaningful to children as collectibles are to collectors, and everyone can get happiness and satisfaction from them. From this perspective, their values are the same.

Therefore, whether children can be respected as adults depends on the measurement of children's needs and existing values in our hearts. If you think that the neatness of clothes is more important than children's free and happy sports, you will stop children from crawling on the ground; If you think that hurry is more important than children's curiosity, you won't let children squat on the roadside to observe flowers, plants, insects and birds; If you think that food nutrition is more important than children's preferences, you will force children to eat food they don't want to eat; If you think your troubles are more important than your children's growth, you will refuse your children's request to help you with your work; If you think that your face or comfort is more important than your child's emotions, you will use violence to stop your child from crying. ...

At this time, when we look back at Ba Xueyuan, we find that President Kobayashi is deeply loved by children. Because he always considers the children's feelings before making any decision, there will be a scene like Ba Xueyuan: children choose their favorite seats according to their own mood every day; The teacher wrote the learning content of the day on the blackboard, and the children chose the learning order according to their own preferences to teach themselves. The teacher answered the questions one by one. If the child finishes a day's study task in the morning, he will go out for a walk under the guidance of the teacher in the afternoon; When the weather is hot, the headmaster will temporarily decide to open the swimming pool so that children can play naked. There are classes twice a week, and children can draw on the floor of the auditorium with chalk; In order to satisfy the children's curiosity of watching the tram, the principal allowed the children to camp in the school with the consent of the parents, and woke the children up in the early morning to watch ... All this is because the principal sacrificed the convenience and comfort of adults to meet the children's various needs, in exchange for the children's pleasure, independent learning and heartfelt love for the school.

I have read the book "Little Doudou by the Window" completely for three times, and I can't count the number of casual readings. I used to want to summarize some methods and skills of educating children, but the more I read them, the more I found that educating children really can't be done well, because when you treat children as an object that needs teaching and training, you are going in the wrong direction. The methods and skills you seek are not to make children better, but to make children meet the needs of adults and make them more convenient and comfortable. The reason why Mr. Kobayashi can bring a pleasant lifelong influence to children in just a few years depends entirely on his sincere love for children. He never judges children with secular values at will. He believes that no matter which child is born, he has excellent qualities. The purpose of education is to discover these excellent qualities as early as possible, avoid their damage, let them develop, and cultivate children into individuals.