"Stay-at-home moms are parasites": How serious is female involution?

I saw a topic like this on the Zhihu two days ago:

Which is more respected, a stay-at-home mother or an independent woman?

In the next thousands of answers, stay-at-home mothers and professional women hold their own words. Professional women look down on the sacrifice and dedication of stay-at-home mothers and feel that it has ruined the atmosphere of the whole society.

Stay-at-home mothers also think that professional women can't care about their families if they care about their careers, and their children will be gone when they grow up.

In fact, everything is like this, there are two sides, we are all ordinary people, with limited energy, it is difficult to cover everything.

I can understand the dispute between the two sides. After all, everyone's answers have their own limitations, and it is not easy to understand each other.

What's more, working women and stay-at-home mothers sound completely opposite.

Even many professional women think that stay-at-home mothers are parasites, because they can't create wealth for their families and have to rely on others to support them.

Frankly speaking, I am not married, and I have never had such a choice conflict, so it may be difficult to have sex with a stay-at-home mother.

But I still think that as a woman, this kind of mutual attack between the same sex is really hurtful and meaningless.

What was that sentence again? Men are hugging to keep warm, while women are still fighting.

Stay-at-home mothers or professional women, I believe everyone will make the best choice for family development according to their actual situation.

For us ordinary people, no matter what lifestyle we choose, we are trying to live. There should be no chains of contempt in life, and there should be no distinction between three and six.

Those who can discuss whether to be a full-time mother or a professional woman may be mostly not rich, so they need to weigh the pros and cons and compromise their choices.

For this society, we are not people standing at the top of the pyramid, but we can only struggle in the middle.

In this case, there is no need to crowd out and discriminate against each other.

After all, no one is more glamorous than anyone else. Everyone has a chicken feather life and a flustered time.

In other words, women in the workplace are not superior, and stay-at-home mothers are not parasites, but the social division of labor and personal choices are different.

I know many people will say that being a full-time mother is a risky job. After all, you don't have a fixed salary and need to live on charity from others.

In particular, China's laws are still not perfect, and it does not recognize a person's sacrifice and contribution in the family.

If a girl asks me if I want to be a full-time mother, my first reaction is definitely no, because we all know what it means to be a full-time mother and the price behind it.

But if someone else has chosen, I will still respect her choice and tell her to do her best to safeguard her own interests.

An inclusive and open society respects everyone's different lifestyles and has the greatest goodwill for those choices that we don't quite understand.

Regarding the problem that the law does not recognize the contribution of women in the family, the law cannot be perfect without any loopholes. What we have been doing is to check for leaks and fill gaps.

Now that everyone is aware of this problem, as women, what we should achieve is how to promote the perfection and reform of the judiciary, instead of laughing at those who sacrifice for their families as parasites.

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Now the involution between women is actually very serious, and women seem to be born hostile to women.

The whole social environment is not very friendly, and there are a pair of big hands behind us pushing us in the direction they expect.

For example, all women must be independent women. They can't fall in love, get married or have children. Otherwise, you are a traitor to the female group and you are not independent.

As a woman, I naturally hope that women's rights and interests can be guaranteed, and I am also a staunch supporter of feminism.

However, we talk about women's rights in order to live a better life and not be discriminated or treated differently in the workplace life.

It is not to provoke gender opposition and survival anxiety.

A girl asked me a question before. She said that the more information I read online now, the more I think it is terrible to get married and have children.

In fact, she also longed for a stable and peaceful life before, and now she is really scared. Some boys dare not promise to chase themselves, and always feel that others have ulterior motives.

She feels that these have affected her normal life, and she doesn't know what to do.

This is the result of excessively provoking gender opposition, and some young girls with insufficient social judgment are easily influenced by these views.

The funniest thing is that someone will tell these little girls who want to fall in love but are afraid of meeting the wrong person. It is so boring. Don't you need to break up in the end?

It's like whenever someone sends photos of their marriage or says that their marriage is happy, there are always some self-righteous people who come forward.

Say in a tone of seeing through everything:

Although you are proud now, your feelings will fade away, and it is not too late for you to show your love again in a few years.

How can I put it? It's like you just bought a new dress and happily put it on for others to see. There are always people who are cynical.

Say in a sour tone: clothes will get old sooner or later. What are you proud of?

This kind of person can only be described in two words, that is, he owes a fight.

If you don't feel comfortable refuting a few words, they will definitely say, "What are you angry about? I'm telling the truth, so don't hate listening. " .

Oh, I have a bad temper. I don't like listening. What?

Anyway, whether to get married, have children, have several children, be a stay-at-home mother or even divorce is a personal choice.

The kindest thing we can do is not to judge others with our own eyes and try to kidnap others without our own three views and experience.

Maybe you met the wrong person, but you can't say that all men are hypocritical and love never exists.

Very responsibly, love is really beautiful and really exists, but the probability of its appearance is not so great that most people can't meet it.

If a girl chooses to get married, have children, or be a full-time mother, as long as she really thinks clearly and is willing to bear the consequences for her choice, then there is no problem.

After all, we won't stop just because there is a 50% chance of an accident crossing the road.

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As for whether it will lead to the decline of women's status or aggravate male chauvinism, don't worry so much.

Now I am willing to choose a mother who takes care of her children at home full-time. After all, it is only a minority.

In many working families, if the mother does not go out to work, it is difficult for the husband to maintain the basic expenses of family life on his own income.

Finally, talk about independence.

Stay-at-home mothers are ridiculed as parasites because in many people's eyes, no job means no output, and no output means no independence.

After all, in recent years, we have seen too many arguments advocating independence on the Internet, and most independent women are unmarried, have houses and cars, and have outstanding earning power.

But there is a gap between ideal and reality, and independence is not just simple economic independence.

Otherwise, economically free women will not be killed and harvested, abused by boyfriends or husbands who eat soft rice, or even wronged everywhere at home.

Economic independence is only the first step, and spiritual independence is the most important.

No matter what the family division of labor is, we must affirm our contribution, be mentally independent and be an independent and complete person.

Economic independence may not bring respect, but women with independent spirit are very attractive.

In fact, I really don't like to hear many women complain online about who they gave birth to and how much they sacrificed for.

If you think that everything you do is for others, then your relationship is unequal from the beginning.

Whether we are in love, getting married or having children, we are not doing this for anyone.

These are our own choices. I got married because I love you and want to be with you. I have children because I like children myself.

When we give love to others, we get love from ourselves. The establishment of this relationship should be equal, not who sacrificed for whom and who owed it.

Life is your choice, and no one puts a knife around your neck to force you to submit.

What contemporary women lack is not the ability to make money, but a completely independent personality and confidence in life.

Whether you are full-time or on-the-job, whether you are raising children or the elderly by yourself, you must live with confidence, and your rights and interests need to be won by yourself.

To put it simply, you should admit your own value first, and don't feel useless.

Others look down on you because you look down on yourself.