Why can't I chat?

There are two reasons why you are not good at talking: 1. You feel different from others. You feel that you seem to be special in some way. You feel that you are noble. Well, maybe you are more knowledgeable and intellectual. In your eyes, what others do and say is particularly vulgar, and you seem to disdain to talk to them about those boring trifles; 2, you feel inferior, you have little knowledge, you don't know what others are saying, you want to participate, but you don't know what to say, you will feel that you don't know anything, and others know everything, you will feel inferior, you will close yourself, you don't want to talk to people, you are afraid to expose your ignorance, so you will become more introverted. If you want to change, you must constantly recharge your batteries, have your own opinions, expand your knowledge, communicate boldly with people, find a topic that everyone likes, don't be too self-centered, and learn to be sophisticated and tactful.

Why can't I talk?

Open your mouth when you meet people. No matter how much ink you have in your stomach, no matter how strong your ability is, you can't say it. You can't express what you think is good. Here are some suggestions for you:

1. When you meet someone, you should greet them first. As you said, you should ask them if they have eaten, or what the weather is like today, where they bought clothes and so on. If you are a colleague, you can also talk casually about things at home or talk about things at work. If the other person is ill recently, you can ask with concern: Are you better? If the other party has another happy event recently, you should say more words of congratulations. When people communicate with others, especially with outsiders, they should take part in accidental amusement. After these pleasantries, we can find another topic. For example, if the other person likes to watch the ball, you can just say a few words about the ball. If the other person has something he is particularly good at (such as playing golf), you can lead the topic to what he is good at and open his mouth. After he begins to speak, you should pay attention to cooperation, not just listen, seize the opportunity to interrupt a few words; For the same person, it is best not to say the same topic every time, and change the topic according to the situation. The key to these things is to improvise, not to be detailed in a few words.

You can't say anything against your will to your children. Parents must understand their children's personality. When you come home from work, stop thinking about work. Spend more time with your children. If they watch TV, go and watch it with him. If they do their homework, see how he writes. Praise them. If they are playing, play with them. Don't cry. You can buy it for him. On the premise of not doting on him, try to agree to all his requirements and play with his children more, and you will naturally talk more. Remember, when children grow up, parents have the greatest influence, boys are greatly influenced by their fathers, and girls are greatly influenced by their mothers. If you don't communicate with your children, they will easily become withdrawn people when they grow up, which will also have a great impact on their lives.

I'm too stupid to talk to people. What should I do?

The problem of speaking seems simple, but it is not. It's hard to speak, but it's good. This is mainly related to the influence of personal experience and family on learning level. Therefore, you must first have a learning attitude.

You can make friends if you speak well, but you can make enemies if you don't speak well. People are sometimes happy, and sometimes troubles have a lot to do with not getting along well with others. Since you are defensive, you are introverted. Unable to find words, he is also introverted. Learning to chat with people doesn't need to change your personality.

How to do it: 1) Talk to colleagues, at least everyone has similar experiences, so that we can have the same topic. Of course, this extends to a problem. If you have the same hobbies as your peers, there will be no shortage of topics, such as asking study questions, playing together, what fun to play, what news is in the class, what good books and games are there, and how to improve work efficiency. Need an example?

2) Talk to parents and teachers. You need to respect them and make a good impression on them. Nothing in common, is it? For example, you need help in your study, you need to be confused in your life, you need to discuss life problems, and you need teachers' care; If you are not understood by your parents and teachers, you can point out what you don't understand and explain why, unless you are really not interested. Adults are reasonable unless you are more knowledgeable than them. A few young people are precocious, so they are not understood by people around them.

3) Talk to friends of neighbors. Since everyone is playing, we should learn to share our playthings together. Go online together, play games together, play basketball together, play football together, and play airplane models together. Many people are playing childhood, and life is very interesting. What are you guarding against when you don't talk? There is no fun except being withdrawn. The less contact, the less to say. Never seen or played. Of course, I can't say. Reading books, reading newspapers, watching the news, surfing the internet, there are countless topics, but you don't think about them. Nowadays, children's biggest problem is playing with things, and they seldom play with others, so they feel uncomfortable with others. Actually, it's not that difficult. Others need to find someone to play with.

4) If I want to chat with you, you will feel endless. Why? I have read a lot and learned a lot. I've played all your questions, and it may not be worse than you. There is no strangeness in communicating with strangers, and I also have a lot of life experience. A lot of interesting things about coke can arouse everyone's buzz as soon as they are said. Of course, you can't do it yet. Let yourself spend every day happily, play with friends more, and don't be selfish and stingy.

What should I do if I feel unable to speak?

10 Excellent speech skills that make you charming.

1, keep two basic principles in speaking.

(1) Don't judge right or wrong.

The most common mistake we make when we speak is to judge each other's views in our own minds. In fact, everyone's view is only different from things, and it is difficult to judge who is right and who is wrong. The reason for judgment is that in our own minds, we have our own values or methodology for dealing with things and distinguishing right from wrong, which cannot represent others, let alone the truth. If you listen and judge, you will freeze the speaker in your mind, and there will inevitably be bad emotions and words in the conversation.

As the saying goes, all roads lead to Rome. Only by listening carefully to its expression, can you know the reasons of things and opinions, make correct analysis and judgment, and maybe the other party can bring you a new set of ideas or ideas. Listen with the mentality of discovering the new continent, and he (she) will be in high spirits.

(2) Full respect

Confucius said that in a threesome, there must be a teacher. Just as there are no two identical leaves in the world, people have different views and methods on things. Communicating with others with a learning attitude is the basis for generating respect. Respect can keep you in a good posture in communication; Respect can make the other person feel that you are sincere and respectable; Respect allows people to show you their innermost feelings. Let others respect yourself, and you should respect others first.

2. Try not to use negative words.

Psychologists have found that using negative words in communication is better than using negative words. Because using negative words will make people feel commanding or critical. Although your point of view is clearly stated, it is more difficult to accept. For example: "I don't agree with you going to Beijing today", put it another way; I hope you will reconsider your idea of going to Beijing today. In communication, many problems can be expressed in positive words.

3. It is more acceptable to express it from another angle.

Chinese is one of the most complicated languages in the world, and this complexity also shows its richness, so there are many ways to express the same view. For example, what we want to say is that a lady is fat. A saying: "You are really fat and need to lose weight"; Another way of saying it is: "You must be a very slim person". There are many expressions. If you were that lady, which one would you like? Sure, the second one. Therefore, when we want to express our views, we might as well think deeply for three seconds, which may produce a more exciting and pleasing language.

4. Use your body language well

Body language includes all kinds of actions that all parts of the body cooperate to express their opinions. Words, intonation and body movements constitute the expression system of human communication, and only the perfect cooperation of all parts can produce the best effect. Studies have shown that words, intonation and body movements have different functions in communication, with words accounting for 7%, intonation accounting for 38% and body movements (language) accounting for 55%.

For example, if you only look at the text "This is1100,000 yuan", you may find it difficult to make a correct judgment and don't know what it means, but if you add intonation and expression, it is easy to understand what it means. For example, when we say "this is1100,000", plus the surprised expression and tone, we will have a feeling of sudden realization. If you add an angry expression and tone, you will feel that you have caused a big disaster, and there will be many meanings to express.

5. Hope is more effective than command.

Imperative language will give people a sense of discrimination and disrespect, weaken people's enthusiasm and sometimes make people feel disgusted. This feeling will naturally have a negative impact on grades. You must finish the work in five days. It has become such a sentence: "according to your ability, I believe you will accomplish our goal brilliantly in five days." This way of expression and communication is the most effective in work. Forming the habit of assigning tasks or jobs in this way will not only reduce your authority, but also enhance your charm.

6. One sentence hurts the most.

Talking about things is the most basic requirement, but many times people will enlarge and deepen their meaning when they speak. For example, when a child accidentally breaks a cup while pouring water, parents sometimes say, "You were born a black sheep." Think about it, just break a cup. ......

I found that I can't chat with others. What should I do?

You said you were dealing with someone else. Looking for communication, * * * with pronunciation. Increase your knowledge. Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. Don't exaggerate Be sincere. Chatting is not a big problem. Chatting is what you listen to others. With you, tell others about your life.

Why do people say I can't chat?

Maybe it's because I can't say nice things. Everyone likes to listen to nice words. When chatting, you can try to say something that others want to hear and like to hear, so that others will like to chat with you in the future.

I can't chat now and I don't want to chat. What's the matter?

This is a psychological reason. Become numb to things and people who are not interested, don't want to pay attention to everything outside, even if you want to chat with others, you don't know what to talk about, and shut yourself in your own world. I suggest you go out for a walk when you are free and get in touch with people and things outside. In fact, when you are not online, you will develop and live comfortably.

Remember to adopt

I can't talk to girls. What should I do?

This is all random, don't think too much.

I can't talk, what should I do? 50 points

because

You have felt your own shortcomings now.

Then what you need to think about is how to correct this shortcoming.

So you need to set yourself a clear goal.

There is something wrong with speaking

Then read a book

The internet can't solve it.

You need to sum up and accumulate practical experience.

suggestion

Your language expression is insufficient now.

It takes a long time to get into the crowd.

Listening to what they say is learning from others' experience, even if you think what others say is meaningless and annoying, you should listen.

Talk to someone you don't think you like.

Greet sb.

Because you think he's bad in your heart. How about it,

But communicating with such people helps to improve our own language level.

Try it first.

if

What is the situation or problem?

You can consult me again.

Yes

I can't talk to girls. People ask me questions and I don't even know how to answer them. What should I do?

The subconscious language pattern affects our chat.

Let's take a look at the common conversations between two groups when chasing girls.

Dialogue 1

M: How are you going to spend the weekend?

Woman: Rest at home.

Man: You should go out in such fine weather. My friend and I are discussing an outing. I heard that xxx is quite good.

W: Then have a nice weekend.

Dialogue 2

Man: I finally got off work. What are you doing?

Woman: I caught a cold and just came home from the hospital.

M: There is a high incidence of influenza recently, so be careful. Many colleagues in our office also confessed. Today, the company even gave us masks.

W: That's all right. Thanks for asking.

……

At the end of the above conversation, "Have a nice weekend" and "Thank you for your concern" are the answers you often meet when chasing girls. Anyone with a little emotional intelligence can realize that once a girl says such a thing, it's like the host wants to "send a guest off with tea", and today's reception is over.

When I realized that this slogan language had the effect of ending the conversation, I had planned to try not to use it with my friends. But once I was about to go out on a date, a friend I hadn't contacted for a long time suddenly greeted me on QQ. He talked about his business plan with great interest. At first, I listened with great interest and asked some simple questions, but the more he talked in detail, the more difficult the topic became, and it was too late to read it. I'm going to end this conversation, but my intuition tells me that if I tell him I'm going to be late now, I'm afraid it will be abrupt, so I try not to say it. I only used Yan Wen to reply, but this did not inhibit his desire to express. Suddenly found that slogan language is the best choice in this situation, so when he finished another grand blueprint, he inserted a sentence "I wish you success" in time. My friend's emotional intelligence is not low, so he immediately replied, "Well, I hope so. Let's talk about it when you are free. " So I finally got off the line.

This experience has made me find that when talking, people who are willing to chat always like to make the topic more specific, while those who are unwilling to chat will sum up the conclusion directly along the direction of the topic, meaning "I already know, needless to say."

In the devil's dating science, we call the generalized language pattern "upper pile" and the specific language pattern "lower cut". Going up the pile is like raising a shield in a conversation, which opens the distance between you and the other person, while going down the pile can convey a more friendly and trusting attitude.

It should be emphasized that it is not necessarily because of unwillingness to communicate. For example, an otaku wants to talk more about his goddess, but because of excessive tension, his words often pile up, leading to cold and blunt communication. So more accurately, the reason for the accumulation should be inner insecurity.

example

M: What do you like to do after work?

Woman: I'm studying yoga recently.

Oh, yoga is good. (Summary of evaluation on the heap)

Do you want to have dinner together today?

W: I have to work overtime.

Oh, I'll make an appointment another day. (Problem solving stack)

On the contrary, when people feel safe, their expression is often weakened. For example, some experienced girls can easily deal with men they don't like. If we carefully analyze their language patterns, we will find that they will speak in a weakened way at critical moments.

example

M: How are you going to spend the weekend?

Woman: Rest at home.

Man: You should go out in such fine weather. My friend and I are discussing an outing. I heard that xxx is quite good.

W: I am so envious (feeling). It's a pity that I have to tidy up the house. Have a nice weekend.

So, why do language patterns pile up when people feel unsafe, and decrease when they feel safe?

Because the upper velvet belongs to a male thinking, and the lower velvet belongs to a female thinking. Male thinking is a way of thinking that people will adopt when they have a low sense of security (stress state), while female thinking is a way of thinking that people will adopt when they have a high sense of security (natural state).

The reason why the way of thinking under pressure is called male thinking is because most of men's lives are in this state; The way of thinking in the natural state is called female thinking because women's life is in this state. However, when women are under pressure, they will also use male thinking (aggressive women in the workplace); Men also use female thinking in a natural state. (Men chattering on the wine table)

The so-called stress state usually has a clear goal, either attacking or defending. ......