A classic joke phrase

1. Life is a chapter full of regrets, because she has no chance to let you modify the wrong sentences.

2. If there weren’t too many scammers, I would have sold my kidney long ago!

3. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater from a distance, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

4. "Honey, did anyone compliment you when you went out?" "Praise me for what?" "Praise you for having an athlete's body!" "No! Which sport is my body suitable for?" Lift weights. ”

5. Why haven’t the old man’s rags come yet?

6. Clothes with two pockets are called school uniforms; clothes with three pockets are called suits; like a Clothes with pockets are called Mao suit; clothes with pockets everywhere, if not fashionable, must be beggars.

7. Time, it’s really just meat buns beating dogs...

8. If I die, my first words are: I finally don’t have to be afraid of ghosts. .

9. Something as dangerous as space walking is very safe, but something as safe as drinking milk is very dangerous!

10. "Why do no men like me even though my skin is so good?" "Because you are ugly!" "Why do no men like me even though I am so plump?" "Because you are fat!" "Why am I so tall, so outstanding, and so rich, but no man wants to take another look at me?" "Son, if you ask such stupid questions again, I will kill you!"

11. I am not a casual person, I am not a human being when I am casual...

12. Urination and defecation are prohibited here, and tools will be confiscated for violators.

13. Treat money as dirt, but everyone is vying to be a dirt collector.

14. It’s not your fault that you want to be a mistress, but it’s your fault that you want to study in college!

15. Those women who participate in beauty pageants cannot find good men because the good men are all married, such as me.

16. The jokes he told were so funny that everyone had to watch a tragedy to calm down a little.

17. My wife and I have not spoken for 18 months, and I have no chance to interrupt her.

18. Yesterday I attended my child’s parent-teacher meeting. The teacher was an elementary school classmate who used to skip class and was called a parent together. The first thing he said during the meeting was: A tiger’s father has no son!

19. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

20. If you gain weight, your man’s love for you will not change, but the average love for each piece of meat will be less.

21. Please don’t take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital

22. Some people say that you won’t have dysmenorrhea after giving birth to a child, so just give birth to a child. Just one!

23. If we play Little Japan, I will definitely go! Even if my hands are cut off, I will step on them and trample them to death; even if my legs are cut off again, I will twist them forward like a caterpillar and bite them a few times; if I am beheaded again, please give me my Blood on the shells!

24. Men are divided into two types, one is lustful and the other is very lustful; women are also divided into two types, one is pretending to be pure and the other is pretending to be impure.

Twenty-five, eating hot pot buffet, my friend was greedy for too much. After eating, there was a lot of hot food left. The boss pointed to the sign: 500 grams left in the bottom of the pot, an additional charge of 15 yuan. The friend smiled and called a homeless man: I’ll give you 5 yuan after eating!

26. I can’t speak. I stutter when there are people around me, like a sheep shitting. Please forgive me if it’s not to your liking.

27. You must look carefully when looking for a partner now, because there are too many people who are neither men nor women!

28. The chicken knows the world best, and the duck is the prophet of the warmth and warmth of human nature.

29. What are you doing? I'm looking up at the sky. What is 30 degrees of looking up? It’s the angle that I miss her from. Why should we raise our head to 30 degrees? In order to prevent my tears from falling...

Thirty, looking at your appearance, it means that you have been in pain in the abyss of disappointment since childhood and cannot extricate yourself. Yidiandian Quotations Network

31. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver.

32. The effect of contraception: If it fails, you will become an adult.

Thirty-three, don’t waste time, your old bitch is almost pregnant.

Thirty-four. Momentary impulse, crisis for descendants!

Thirty-five, face is something external to the body, you can want it or not, money is a necessary thing, you have to have it. Classic one-line joke_The most classic one-line joke

1. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

2. The sky is moving, the earth is moving, let’s have another ice cream.

3. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

4. You have a very good figure. Even Sun Wukong would give you three sticks when he saw you.

5. Romance is always priceless, otherwise I would have been worth hundreds of millions. All in all

6. The extinction of the dinosaurs is because makeup created the world of beauties.

7. Only women and English are difficult to find, only wives and jobs are difficult to find!

8. If God wants to cause people to perish, he must first make them crazy; if God wants to make people crazy, he must first make them buy a house.

9. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent over she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was shocked, then smiled and said to himself: What a damn genius!

10. Why do we all give the darkness to the devil? Because they are brave and not afraid of the dark.

11. Zhuge Liang never led an army before he left the mountain. Why do you want me to have one? Work experience! ! !

12. Other people’s money is my personal belongings.

13. Only after you have been drunk can you realize that you are stupid, and only after you have fallen in love can you understand what a fool is.

14. It is easy to quit smoking, but it is too difficult to quit you!

15. Who said that change is not powerful? You know, two dollars can prevent the smooth birth of a new life.

16. People should not waste their youth in vain! Not feeling comfortable without QQ!

17. It’s not that you don’t smile, but your fans will fall off as soon as you smile.

18. Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

19. I called my boyfriend’s dormitory before, but he didn’t answer the phone. I was a little embarrassed, so I made up a random name and said: Is XX here? Just pretend that you have found the wrong person~~ The other party hesitated for a moment and said, "Wait a minute, I'll call you!" I fainted at that time! I was so scared that I hung up the phone! Later I asked my boyfriend, and he said that a boy in the dormitory opposite them called me that name he made up~~~~

20. Even though I am small, when I work hard to live for myself, I am still great, but I I don’t know about the great size.

21. Being able to mix so many bad habits of human beings so perfectly, I believe that if you go out on the street in the rain, Thor will feel sorry if he can’t touch you

22 One morning, a certain officer, who was known for his strictness, asked the morning training soldiers: Are you cold? The soldier replied: It's not cold! Officer Ann: Then why are you trembling? The soldier replied: It's freezing!

23. I’m used to going to Tianya: A dozen or so friends were having a dinner together. They just went up the stairs to the second floor and saw a man helping a pregnant woman downstairs. The friend who was walking in front quickly stepped aside and turned around. One sentence: Keep formation downstairs!

24. Suihan Sanyou hot pot, cabbage, and hot quilt.

25. Feelings are like buying stocks. If you choose junk stocks and lose money, it doesn’t matter. The key is to learn to stop losses. But the biggest fear is that you don’t admit the failure of your vision, hold it blindly, and wait and see. It picked up, and finally, waited and waited until the flowers withered a few times

26. Carp and Turtle went to get their marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle his age, and the turtle said: 100. The clerk said regretfully: I'm sorry, but according to your family's rules, you are still underage and are not allowed to get married.

27. Gold will eventually be spent, and mirrors will always reflect light.

28. Don’t be afraid of being used, just be afraid that you will be useless.

29. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

30. College is all about learning!

31. I have a female colleague who is very strong (heavy and powerful). She often does strength work in the workshop and outshines all her male compatriots. One day, I saw Mr. A who was unable to move things and moved a box of goods easily and skillfully. He laughed while moving. Mr. A was too shy and too weak. Mr. A held it in for three minutes and said: No matter how fat you women are, there must be a man who can carry you to bed...

32. The cat is forced by life. Take a seat at the Tuberose Hair Salon owned by Fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon and asked for a night stay, but the cat refused to comply. The mouse said angrily: "I was chased to death in the beginning, but now I'm here, and I'm still a prude."

33. Women who want to please themselves are beautiful, and men who want to please themselves are poor.

34. Too much hardship in life has honed our acting skills. We are forced to walk to the center of the stage and become the protagonist

35. Living is to be in the world. A crooked leap.

36. There is no rehearsal in life. Every day is a live broadcast. Not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

37. Since I broke up with my girlfriend, I have found that: my waist is no longer sore, my legs are no longer cramped, it is no longer strenuous to go up to the fifth floor, I can stand up to the sky in the morning, and I no longer doze off at work. The money in the card is back, and even my left and right hands have grown muscles

38. Love at first sight must happen at least once in a person's life, so it seems that I have made many people live their lives in vain

< p> 39. When my teacher told me the definition of handsome boy when I was a child, I couldn’t understand it. Later, my classmate brought me a mirror, and suddenly I understood.

40. If your heart is really as tender as water and not too soft, then put it in the freezer first and it will harden.

41. What is love in the world? One thing brings down another thing.

42. Senior brother, I heard that the second brother’s meat is more expensive than the master’s.

43. Love is when two confused and infatuated people just start using piles of The magnificence built up by hypocrisy. When this handicraft has experienced the wear and tear of time, people wipe the dust off the face, only to find that everything is really just superficial. Then, the two people chose to scatter their things.

44. The same poisonous-tongued queen met one day with a charming senior in his early 30s who graduated from the department. The senior brother’s current concern was to seize the tail of youth, but the poisonous-tongued queen was sincere this time. I sincerely wanted to praise someone, but as soon as I opened my mouth, he said again: What a young middle-aged man!

45. There are three things that hurt people: troubles, quarrels, and empty wallets. The most hurtful of all is an empty wallet.

46. When I give birth to a son in the future, I want to call him so handsome. Then when others see me, they will say: What a handsome dad!

47. Happy? Can you still feel happy soon?

48. People are not smart, yet they imitate others’ baldness!

49. I don’t like her, I like my script, but my script is that I deeply love her.

50. Vulgarity is a breakthrough, especially when elegance and nobility don’t work.

51. The geography teacher used to be a man, especially xxx, who would come up when he spoke or became distracted. It's just a punch, but it doesn't hit the girl. There is a new girl who doesn't know and thinks that men and women are equal. One time she secretly read comics in class and was discovered by the geography teacher. He walked up to her and didn't say anything. This girl The classmate was so frightened that his face turned pale and he shouted: Indecent~ Our geography teacher is sweating~~~~~~

52. Now my thoughts are very Dongporou, but my emotions are very salt and pepper pork ribs

p>

53. When other women are still envious of the heroines on TV and novels, I will try my best to let the girl I like realize her fantasy, but the reality makes me realize: that is my fantasy -

54. Money can buy a house but not a home. It can buy a marriage but not love. It can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain.

Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

55. One day when the wind was strong, the bicycles fell into a row. I heard a classmate support the bicycle and say: Whose Mercedes-Benz ran over my BMW? ...

56. When you don’t even have the courage to marry, why doesn’t he even have the intention to marry? 57. Prosperous wealth, come and see, there are even You are not as good as anyone!

58. Sister Feng recently said: The reason why she is famous is the result of the joint efforts of all Chinese men.

59. Brother, I swear to the lamp, I really smoked

60. Don’t always say that mud can’t climb up the wall, because even if you are concrete and no one will climb up the wall with you, you can still It has to be on the ground. If someone overturns it, no matter how rotten the mud is, it will still stick to the wall.

61. Cow B is an ordinary person, and cow organs are literati.

62. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

63. Are you the frog at the bottom of the well, or have you not even reached the bottom of the well?

64. You can make do with life, and you can also be particular about life!

65. The quality of ten minutes is not only reflected in the degree of pleasure at the time, but also in the return benefits in the future. I believe your parents lamented that those ten minutes were a long time

66. I was applying lipstick while surfing the Internet in the office. I accidentally didn't hold it. I happened to be wearing very loose overalls today, so it fell into my pants. Then the boss who suddenly opened the door and came in was surprised to see me taking it from the crotch area. Out comes a small stick of questionable length and thickness.

67. I firmly believe that your musical talent does not lie in the simple display of your voice.

68. One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to answer a question in class. Xiao Ming doesn't know how to speak. The teacher was anxious: You don’t know how, you... you... you just say something! So Xiao Ming said: "Squeak."

69. I am an actor, and my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl.

70. I said in a panic: Your boobs are good, but they are not smooth enough. I adjusted it for her easily, and who knew that it would all turn into triangle waves. The girl immediately became anxious: You accompany my waves, you accompany my waves, and I ran away.

71. I can’t afford to sleep for a long time in the morning, but I feel like sleeping at night.

72. Video reveal: Where do Taobao employees buy things? Will you be enlightened after reading this?

73. The food in our school cafeteria is divided into soft rice and harder rice. One day in the cafeteria, a boy in front of me said something after careful consideration: It’s better to just eat soft food...

74. The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Doesn't anyone know? At this time, someone behind the classroom said: That's because the mind is naturally cool.

75. The cruelest thing about life is that you can only be young once.

76. Most people would not say that I am handsome. They usually only say that I am domineering.

77. My classmates are going to Japan, and everyone is saying goodbye. My buddy said: Boss, if I see you again in the future, I guess I can only download it! !

78. The thief who stole my wallet opened it and saw only five dollars, and sighed with tears: It’s not easy! .

79. A good horse never turns back to eat grass, so I kept walking forward in a circle without turning back. As a result, I ran into that grass again

80. I lived in a very humble place and lived in a miserable life. I am very useless and angry

81. I am not greedy for money, I just love collecting RMB.

82. When you go to work, you must carry forward the spirit of a dead pig who is not afraid of boiling water!

83. My classmate’s friend is dull, but his appearance may be okay.

A few years ago, he went to Beijing Film Academy and passed the exam. When he came back, we asked him what he was going to take.

He said that the examiner asked me to pretend to be an idiot, and they all pretended to be idiots.

We asked why you were pretending, and he said: I wasn’t pretending, I just walked around and got selected...

84. The reason why you can't tolerate sand is because you use a sieve to select flour. It's too fine. The reason why I can tolerate you is because I use a net to catch big fish and let the small fish slip through.

85. Hongxing will not get out of the wall, but will be dragged out.

86. In the relationship between two people, if only one person works hard to mix the honey, then in the end, the other bee will only turn into a fly

87. I My friend was interning at China Unicom. One day, an old man came up to me and asked me to apply for a mobile card, okay? Then my friend said without raising his head: Master, someone is here to cause trouble!

88. Driving is easy, as long as there are new people!

89. The hair is gone and the dandruff is even more outstanding!

90. What is irony? The irony is that even if you are willing to be someone else's toilet paper, they still think your paper is soft and stains your fingers, while the paper is hard and scratches your buttocks

91. A big woman cannot lose power for a day, and a small woman cannot No money for a day!

92. After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is still easier to get along with!

93. A man went to a meeting. After the meeting, before boarding the plane to return, he sent a text message to his wife: I've had a really

105. Don't give in if something doesn't matter. Sow your own feelings, otherwise they will take root and you will have to struggle to pull them out. If the roots are deep, you will be unable to pull them out even if you want to

106 Love is like pi, infinite and endless

107. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

108. One day, the monitor told me what to do on Saturday (there were a lot of things that week). After that, my deskmate shook my arm: Quick, tell me, what day is Saturday? ...

109. Those arrogant people will always crow among the cranes

110. There once was a woman who wanted to reform me, but she ended up... In the end, I only dismantled my parts, but never installed them with me again

111. There is nothing special about you, you just have a strong face

112. The brain is the most noble organ--because it's the brain that tells you.

113. Spring is here, and there are more seasonal dreams.

114. The left side of the head is filled with flour and the right side of the head is filled with water. Whenever I think about a problem, my head is full of paste.

115. Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will coax them away with a piece of cake.

116. Women still wear cosmetic masks, but men wear moral masks

117. My advantage is: I know my mistakes and can correct them. My shortcomings are : I changed to be very low-key

118. There are so many people who despise me, who do you think they are?

119. Great men all tell us to be ourselves, but we all only fall in love with the stories of great men and are obsessed with their classics

120. The important task of those born in the 1980s is Made after 08.

121. The future is bright, but there is no road.

122. After living for more than 20 years, I have been unable to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken.

123. Instant noodles are a kind of strange food that makes you miss it after you haven’t eaten it for a long time. After taking the first bite, you want to finish the whole bowl. After eating the whole bowl, you feel very sick~

124. Under the guise of being talented, the essence of dressing B is revealed.

125. I’ve been under a lot of pressure recently, and I’m chewing Wangwang snow cakes more than others.

126. Being crowded in Beijing is causing trouble for the capital.

127. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight. At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Brother, let me go, you are blocking my mobile phone signal.

128. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationships.

129. When you didn’t study when you were a child, your mother said: When you grow up, you will be married to Wang Laowu who sells pork.

Now I educate my daughter: study hard and marry the pork seller Wang Laowu when she grows up.

130. If the heart has no place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes!

131. Don’t wash it. If it weren’t for the mud, this old car would have fallen apart. One sentence humorous joke phrases

1. When you are alone in a hard time, it is better to be with her 2

2. It is not your fault that I am good, and I don’t need to ask you for help if I am not good.

3. Sleeping is nothing, don’t wake up if you can

4. Move the mouse to my avatar, right-click, and unblock this person from speaking

5. Sometimes, the more you hide your feelings for someone, the deeper you get.

6. One thing in front of you but another behind your back, you think you are a bra.

7. Those students who don’t do their homework at night and copy it in the morning are wrong. I only want to say four words to you: lend it to me after copying it.

8. Fortunately, it is You are beautiful, otherwise I would have dumped you eight times

9. What you wear is very dangerous, but you look very safe!

10. Lust leads the trend, and is vulgar Achieve your dreams

11. I want to be so strong that nothing can destroy my inner peace!

12. A girl posted a message saying: I also want to experience the feeling of being chased! There is a reply below: Just don’t pay for shopping!

13. If I can’t wait for the finale of One Piece in this life, I will ask my son to burn the USB flash drive when he visits my grave.

14. Look forward to going to class and looking forward to school after class During the holiday, it turns out that my goal has always been very persistent

15. A confident woman is not arrogant, but confident is believing, and only by believing can she be happy.

16. Time travel is a comedy, and deep love is a tragedy; Qingchuan is infinitely good, but almost perfect

17. When you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide, or You can choose to be blind!

18. The death of an eminent monk is called Nirvana, the death of an emperor is called death, the death of a soldier is called being shrouded in horse leather, the accidental death of a child is called premature death, the early death of a beautiful woman is called a beauty’s misfortune, and the death of a heinous sin is called a death that is unjust and extremely unwilling. If you die, you will die with your eyes closed... Then who, you deserve to die...

19. Laugh when you are happy, and smile after a while if you are not

20. I can I’ll give you the whole world, but first pay me back the 2.5 you owe me, okay?

21. I will live a good life, not for anything else, just because I owe myself these years

p>

22. My dear, you can wait, I believe in you, come on my stupid boy

23. When tears rolled down your cheeks, you once promised me that you would, Where again?

24. When my brother gets rich, I will buy the bus and drive it myself.

25. I am young and need your guidance, but I don’t need your guidance. .

26. If you regard me as light as a feather, don’t expect that you will still be the mountain in my heart.

27. Some people can’t tell what’s good about her, but no one can replace her.

28. There is no question of forgetting or not, only whether or not.

Twenty-nine, girl, you have to have a hard heart like Nokia that can still smash walnuts after it has been dropped countless times. Let’s see which bastard grandson can hurt you

Thirty. On the road, if you meet a handsome guy you like, then crawl at his feet. Shouting: Handsome guy, your girlfriend fell out.

Thirty-one, if I see you again, it will be years later. How I greet you, with tears, with silence.

32. When I see someone who is showing off, he always lowers his head silently. It’s not because he has good qualities, but because he is looking for bricks.

33. The Rainbow Bridge is not just a symbol hanging on the horizon, it is a harbinger of happiness, even if it is only for a few seconds. Classic one-sentence joke

1. A duck and a crab race and reach the finish line together. It is difficult to determine the winner. The referee said: Let's do rock-paper-scissors! The duck was furious: Damn it! Scheme against me? When I come out, it’s always paper, and when he comes out, it’s always scissors.

2. The mantis saw the fireflies flying everywhere in the night sky, and said helplessly: "There is really nothing you can do about these groupies."

3. Wukong 500 years later When I met Tang Seng, he said with tears: Being pressed under Wuzhi Mountain for five hundred years is nothing. The most painful thing is that both hands are outside. . .

4. The little donkey asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows only eat concentrated feed every day? The old donkey sighed: We men can't compare. We rely on running errands to make a living, while others rely on their breasts to make a living!

5. The bee chases the butterfly, but the butterfly marries the snail. Bee is puzzled: How is he better than me? Butterfly replied: After all, I have my own house, unlike you living in a dormitory.

6. I had a weird roommate, who was very slovenly. One day her quilt came unstitched. I was about to get her needle and thread when she picked up the stapler from the table and clicked it to lock it.

7. Some people can only look good by dressing up, and some can only look good by applying makeup. But you are different from them, you will never look good.

8. I remember one day in the summer, it was raining heavily, and the beautiful girl gave me a very unique cardboard box. I rushed home and protected it with my body. After opening it, I saw umbrella! ! !

9. Life is full of ups and downs. People should be content with what they have and don’t overcomplicate anything. Life is for management, not for calculation. Emotions are meant to be maintained, not tested. Lovers are meant to care for, not to hurt. Lies are meant to be broken, not whitewashed. Happiness is for feeling, not for comparison.

10. Instant noodles are a kind of strange food that you miss very much after you haven’t eaten it for a long time. After taking the first bite, you want to finish the whole bowl. After eating the whole bowl, you feel very sick~

11. The so-called true love is when two people are obviously so ugly, but they still worry about the other person being taken away. . .

12. The older you grow up, the more you understand about life. The more you understand, the more you will feel that any kind of loss will be a kind of sadness. Because any kind of loss is always more cruel than what you don't get. Therefore, in life, whether it is friendship or love, we should learn to cherish it when we have it, not after losing it.

13. Youth is a lonely song, singing the lonely and sad feelings in your life. It is also a prosperous castle, performing a gorgeous show in the world of your youthful years. of praise. Youth may be sad or joyful. Please remember that everyone's youth is a past worth remembering.

14. When the weather turned cold, she knitted a scarf for her boyfriend. After giving it to him, he praised her: "The craftsmanship is really good. I like this fishing net very much."

15. I went to a driving school today to learn how to drive and met my high school teacher. Seeing the old squad being scolded by the master, he didn’t even dare to fart. Don’t stop me. I’ll laugh a little longer...

16. The old squad leader gave up the last piece of leather shoes to a The weak little warrior pretended to be full. Seeing the little soldier chewing the leather shoes, the old squad leader thought to himself that when the country is liberated, the people of the country must have leather shoes.

17. Two frogs fell in love and gave birth to a clam after getting married. The male frog was furious when he saw this and said: Bitch, what's going on? ! The female frog cried and said: Dad, before I met you, I had plastic surgery.

18. After thinking about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", I only did the first four.

19. My wife bought a bag today and treated me to a meal. I was having a wonderful aftertaste... My wife said that she picked up 2,000 yuan from the hard drive card slot of my main case... Picked it up... Picked it up...

20. If you don't appreciate yourself, it will be difficult to be happy. The sense of security comes from your own heart. Not relying on someone or something, not relying on external fame and fortune, not relying on the human heart like a mirror, not relying on self-righteous cognition. Don't base your happiness on what you will lose, but cherish what you have now.

21. When you are not strong enough, you can only choose which way to go, and you devote all your enthusiasm and mind to moving forward.

It will be dark and people will be lonely. When you stop to doubt yourself, you will cry alone. When you laugh in the crowd, the world will laugh with you. This is society and reality.

22. The purpose of growth is not to make us hard and cold, no longer believe in beauty, no longer believe in oaths, but to gradually eliminate those hurts amidst thousands of times. For society’s unrealistic fantasies, look at the world with more maturity, rationality, and tolerance. Do what you want, love what you want. If you make a mistake, don't regret it, don't complain, there is no perfect person in the world. Fall down, get up and try again.

23. Stepping on the colorful fallen flowers and smelling the white vanilla, the senses of life are so clear and bathed in the profound and vast beauty of all things. We little people who live in the cracks of time have no reason not to laugh happily. In the deepest night, appreciating the beauty of mountains and water is like putting your thoughts flat between your fingers. Either it is lonely and cool, or it is fragrant. They are all the grace, warmth and longevity of time.

24. Since I broke up with my girlfriend, I have discovered that: my waist is no longer sore, my legs are no longer cramped, it is no longer strenuous to go up to the fifth floor, I can hold up a pillar in the sky in the morning, and I don’t doze off at work. Now, the money in the card is back, and even my left and right hands have gained muscle!

Twenty-five. I was in class. I took out a piece of chewing gum and was going to eat it. But after thinking about it carefully, I decided to forget it. The teacher would scold me for eating in class, so I had better finish my cigarette first. Bar.

Twenty-six, the old turtle teased the river clam and was bitten. The old turtle endured the pain and dragged the clam back and forth. When the frog saw it, he said with admiration: Darling, Brother Turtle has grown up, and he always carries a briefcase when he comes in and out.

27. The chimpanzee said to the gibbon: "If you stretch your hand too long, you will definitely be a corrupt official."

28. I was in a daze at home that day, and suddenly A little bird flew over and hit the window. I thought: God is playing "Angry Birds", but that's wrong...Does God think I'm a pig?

Twenty-nine, the dog said to the bear: Marry me, marry me, you will be happy. Xiong said: I won’t marry. If you marry you, you will only give birth to bears. I want to marry a cat, and giving birth to a panda would be noble!

Thirty. "You are not doing this right. I will teach you that you have to chew two pills together to get enough flavor." "Nima, can you let me do that?" Let’s eat rice! ”

31. Being young doesn’t know what it’s like to be sad. Even if life can really start over, it may lead to the same path again. Don't regret it if you have passed it. All the roads you have passed are walked step by step with your own feet. No matter how uneven and bumpy the road is, no matter how many disappointments there are in life. But there will still be the passion of youth in life, and the journey will continue to have scenery that touches me, and there will be people who accompany me through sadness and prosperity.

32. I went to the second-hand market to buy a bicycle, but the boss said it was out of stock. He took me to a bicycle park at the entrance of a supermarket and said: Which one do you like, I will unlock it for you

p>

Thirty-three, I can't stand my foodie girlfriend anymore. She broke my little walnut bracelet and ate it...

Thirty-four, walking in In the busy world of mortals, everyone is moving towards the place with light. Trekking in the rainy world, all the good things come from perseverance. Wading through ditches, stepping over chops. The important thing is to make good progress at every turning point in life, youth, middle age and old age. Follow your own path and don't expect everyone to be happy with you.