Water can carry a boat, and porridge can also be cooked.

1, no matter how old human members are, they are all young in front of money.

You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human.

3. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they see me?

4. Holding your hand, you will know that your child is ugly and in tears, and I will go if you don't go.

Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

6. If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.

7. Red beans don't grow in the south, but grow on my face. I really miss them!

8. It is not difficult to drive, and I am afraid that there will be new people.

Guest, please respect yourself. My daughter only sells herself, not works of art..

10, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

1 1, it's easy to hide, but hard to prevent.

12, the headwind direction is more suitable for soaring. I'm not afraid of 10 thousand people blocking me, but I'm afraid of surrendering myself.

13, birds are big, and there are all kinds of Woods.

14, if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

15, how to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

16, a successful woman is not afraid of shame.

17, a man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

19, what are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

20. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

2 1, brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, because you have a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other.

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

23. Get off the line at midnight on time, or the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

24. According to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome guy.

25. Doing all ordinary things well is extraordinary, and doing all simple things right is not simple.

26. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.

27. If the garden can't be closed in spring, I will draw an almond out of the wall.

28. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

Wechat says Daquan can carry boats and cook porridge.

Swearing is a thousand times cleaner than lying, but people always get their ears dirty.

Second, maybe people will really become, just like the moment when beautiful flowers wither, just like our innocence and happiness.

Third, the destruction of feelings stems from our own paranoia, and we all don't believe in ourselves.

I need someone to see my shortcomings and love me.

It is better to be the enemy of the world than to be your traitor.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

The best way to get back at someone is to let her know that you are better off than her.

Eight, time flies, light seems cheap, and in a blink of an eye, it is the evil September 1.

Nine, you said you died once, so with me by your side, it will be heaven from now on.

Ten, there is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding; There is a feeling called wonderful; There is a kind of happiness that is accompanied by you; There is a yearning called longing.

1 1. What I fear most is the person you always think is very important, but the most important person is not you.

Twelve, my heart is full of holes, but I am so strong.

Thirteen, the love promise between the fingers, time disappears in memory, everything is just a scene.

14. Good citizens without girlfriends, bail pending trial when they have girlfriends, detention and residence when they are engaged, and life imprisonment after marriage.

Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

I won't delay. I will open it as soon as I get the courier, press the alarm clock as soon as it rings, eat snacks as soon as I open it, and laugh as soon as you appear.

Seventeen, unless the loess bones, I guarantee you worry-free.

18. What I thought would collapse if I left, I felt most clearly in the most painful time. Everything will pass.

I don't know why I always like to eat what I don't like first, and then save my favorite for last.

When a girl becomes quiet, it means that she is forcing herself to let go.

Twenty-one, a person's world, sick, a person to carry; Bored, hiding alone; It hurts. I'm alone.

Twenty-two, there are some things that we haven't had time to think about, and we have arrived.

Water can carry a boat, but you can also cook porridge-piano, chess, painting and calligraphy are all bad, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money.

Love is like rice, and the romantic process is like a dish. When people are hungry, they think of eating. But after dinner, more people like to comment on food and ignore white rice.

It's not terrible to fall. What's terrible is that when a person falls, he is sober.

Even if the bowl is made of iron, what can I eat without food in it?

When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome boy", which puzzled me. Later, my classmate showed me a mirror, and I suddenly understood.

It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

Love is like two people using rubber bands. The injured one is always unwilling to let go.

Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

I swear to myself that I will work hard from tomorrow! However, I live today every day.

When you accidentally step on a tulip, it will leave its fragrance on your feet. This is called tolerance.

Everyone has a flash moment, just as everyone has a flash moment.

It is women's love for shopping malls that makes them more and more exciting.

Whenever night comes, I especially envy snails. No matter how inefficient people are, they still have their own houses.

There are two tragedies in life, one is not getting what you want, the other is getting what you don't want.

Driving is not difficult, but there are new people!

Only women and heroes are sad, and wives and jobs are hard to find.

There are three things that hurt people: worry, quarrel and empty wallet. The most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

I'm an actor-at the sight of a beautiful mm, my eyes go round.

Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

The sky is falling, you support it, I support it. ...

The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke.

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

Crowded in Beijing, causing trouble to the capital. ...

Who can be as loyal to me as RMB?

Life is her person, and death is her mascot.

You are a real beauty-only in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

Love is like pi, which never circulates. ...

Piano, chess, painting and calligraphy are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain learned to swim.

Non-mainstream funny quotations

Non-mainstream funny quotations 1, you catch people and people eat you!

I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

If I am drunk, I refuse to accept anyone, and I will hold the wall!

4. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

5. People have backgrounds, and people have backgrounds.

6. Knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important.

7. After reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

8. Youth is capital, and it is worthless without hard work.

9. I don't even want a spilled water.

10, I don't need your understanding, I just need you to shut up.

1 1, I don't even believe in punctuation.

12, I am like grass, I can't extricate myself.

13, Yue Lao, did you break my red rope?

14, as soon as you go out, there are no birds in hundreds of mountains and no footprints in thousands of roads.

15. Although the bird is small, it plays all over the sky.

16, I came to this world and didn't intend to go back alive.

17, red beans don't grow in the south, but grow on your face. I miss you so much.

18, youth is dedicated to the house, and middle age is dedicated to children.

19, the world is big, but it is bigger than the brain you lack.

20. In the days when there are no women, I enjoy flirting with men.

2 1, don't give me a hard look, you think you are a palette.

22. No matter how big the official is, there is more money. Yan dragged it over like this.

23, people can't extricate themselves, except teeth and love.

24. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time.

25. Looking through novels every day, the toilet is like a hole.

26. Dream interpretation is the earliest wireless communication method in human history.

27. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

28. How dare I touch you? I'm afraid I'll buy hand sanitizer for myself.

29. Is my face oily? Reflecting light, I can't see clearly.

30. My advantage: I have the courage to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

3 1, what I can't extricate myself from is love, and the radish in other people's fields.

32. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

34. If the exam rewards QB, then the country will become rich and strong immediately.

35. I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

36. Examination results are announced: laugh if you do well in the exam, and don't cry or laugh if you don't do well in the exam.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

39, hum, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

40. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

4 1, life is like fighting landlords, but a group of people are enemies.

42. When you speak ill of me, can you feel like cooking without embellishing it?

43. Take your complaints out in the sun every day, and you won't be short of calcium.

44. My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

45. Men don't make money, women are anxious, and men make money and women regret it.

46. In the past, my love was like a dwarf hanged by a bush.

47. If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.

48. Women are always strong for a few days, even if they are bleeding.

49. Whenever I have enough to eat and drink, I will think of the serious matter of losing weight.

50. My life creed is: live like a grandson for decades, and then die like a grandfather.

5 1, the longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rival in love.

Even if you are already taken, I will move you to my side.

53. I have a crush on you because I'm out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry. .

54. God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

55. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

56. I watch the time in the morning not to see what time it is, but to see how long I can sleep.

57. Tell me about you. If you don't have a diploma, you will learn to be ugly, and if you are not smart, you will learn to be bald.

58. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

60. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

6 1, toss a coin, surf the internet head, sleep at the end, stand up and do your homework.

62. When I was a child, I liked playing hide-and-seek. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.

63. Parents fool their children to call education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

64. Time and tide wait for no man. First of all, women are not spared. Opportunity waits for no man. First of all, you can't wait for a man.

65. When I love you, you are what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

66. A man has gold under his knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

68. What makes me proud and proud is that until now, the earth is still being trampled by me.

69. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

70. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

7 1. Does anyone have a crush on me? Don't be shy of those who secretly love me. Say your love.

72. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard and tired you are, stand up and give her a heavy slap.

73. The chemistry teacher asked: What about the gas leak at home? Get up and say, have a cigarette and calm down.

74. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

75. This is often the case, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a rotten horse, there may not be a grass waiting for you.

76. Never quarrel with your parents, because if you win, you will only be scolded, and if you win, you will only be beaten.

77. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

78. If you watch a big tree turn into an exercise book, do you still have the heart to do your homework? In order to protect nature, we don't do our homework.

79. It took five minutes to get up this time. You beat 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed!

80. I have a stomachache and want to throw up today. There was an exam in the afternoon, and halfway through the exam, I couldn't help throwing up. The teacher came over and said with concern, why, the question is disgusting?