It's not just a good wife and a good mother who is suitable to be my wife!

I have a younger brother, the same father and mother.

My brother got married early for me. It's almost the fourth grade, and I haven't found the right person to take over. In my parents' daily life, "You won't get married, and we may not see our grandchildren if we close our eyes …", my brother has accomplished three major events in one year: falling in love, getting married and having children.

My younger brother and sister, born in the 1990s, have a low educational background, 158 cm, and their skin is bronzed and slightly black. Full-time baby-rearing has no job, can't cook and can't clean the house. Her hobby is to buy it at Taobao buy buy. I really don't beat and scold my in-laws, nor do I help my husband's parents wash a dress or serve a bowl of rice. Sometimes I lack some respect for old people.

In short, from an outsider's point of view, my sister-in-law has nothing to do with China's traditional standards of "being virtuous, hardworking, understanding, reasonable, respecting the old and loving the young" ..., but also with China's modern outstanding women who are "thoughtful, educated, tasteful, financially independent, and like reading and music ...".

It is such a girl who doesn't meet the excellent standards of modern mainstream society. She and her younger brother, who had a house and a car soon after graduating from college, have been married for six years and have a close and harmonious relationship.

I don't understand.

"Is this the wife and mother you always said you wanted before marriage?"

He threw me a sentence that broke my desire to ask again:

"She is a good wife and mother in my heart. I am very comfortable with her and feel that our genes are complementary. "

02

I am thinking: what is a good wife and mother in a man's heart?

In different ways, I heard the subtext behind their love expectation in my in-depth conversation with several types of men.

A woman's mind, why use speculation?

If it weren't for personality problem, it would be hard for the other party to abandon him. Few men should be addicted to women who like smoking and drinking.

In most cases, it is a natural character and early acquisition, and the last experience shapes a person's attraction.

Helen, who is generous and careless, actually does not belong to a particularly beautiful woman. But if she is the most attractive woman, it is estimated that no one will stand up against it.

With the growth and enrichment of life experience and emotional experience, Helen's charm has greatly increased but remained unchanged. Its sunny and atmospheric way of doing things has also been appreciated and imitated by others.

On the contrary, her living habits are not very healthy. Smoking and drinking stay up late, my husband doesn't like it. However, she is not melodramatic, unpretentious, capable and simple, which really fascinates her man.

Her man said, "My wife's shortcomings are like the moon and her strengths are like the sun. As soon as the sun came out, the moon disappeared. "

"Although she has some habits that I don't like, she has something that attracts me more.

For example, not tired with her. I don't have to guess why she suddenly got angry. They are not good at quarreling and fighting, which makes me feel the true meaning of being together: happiness.

She doesn't go through my bag, and she never likes to peek at my mobile phone. The communication between us is very direct, and everything is solved as soon as we talk about it. "

Do you have the ability to earn money and run a long-term happy family?

Marguerite duras, a French woman writer, described this in her novel: One day, a man came up to me in a public place and said, "I'll tell you, I love your weather-beaten face more than when you were young."

This is always haunted after a thousand steps, but after the vicissitudes of the world, the lights are still bright, just like between Wong and her husband.

Wong's beauty is true, and her interest in life is also true. The high emotional intelligence forged by nature and nurture adds to her charm. However, after more than 20 years of marriage, she can't cook and never does housework. She has nothing to do with the traditional wife and mother.

Fortunately, the relationship between husband and wife has been as warm as ever for decades.

This spiritual woman always knows what her husband likes.

For example, the flower decoration at home changes its appearance and varieties every three to five times, which is fresh and eye-catching, but it is consistent with the home style at will; The newly added sofa cushion hides the tone that her man likes. When my husband came home from a day's work, he lay lazily on the sofa, smelling his favorite flowers, and the fatigue of the whole day suddenly faded.

In a comfortable family environment, her husband is always used to opening his arms to her: "My wife has worked hard at home. Come and see me soon." . "

She always takes care of a man's family and friends, and people are always happy with her.

Husband's friends get together at home, no matter how troublesome, she never looks embarrassed. When her husband comes back late for dinner, she always reminds him to be safe.

"A good wife, what can I ask? Thank you for giving me such a happy family life. " After so many years of husband and wife, her man is still saying the same thing as before.

Wang Xiaobo said, "I'll give you my whole soul, together with its quirks, small temper, flickering, and 1,800 bad habits. Really annoying, only a little good, and love you (in a way that understands you). "

I love you, only you!

This fact seems cruel, especially for people who like children.

You must know that Q Zhao Nvshi (Dr. Zhao Qinghua), the founder of two red beans, broke up with her boyfriend because she was a DINK and she liked children very much.

This man must not be the only dink. For example, wan.

Wan travels every month or even every week. Far and near places, large and small, are places where she has repeatedly explored and stopped.

So she is very experienced and insightful, and there are always many topics to talk about with her.

Speaking of children, Wan said: "You don't have to have children if you have a uterus, and you don't have to be a singer if you have a voice. I am more addicted to a more self-centered lifestyle than raising children. "

Her husband is different from Q.

He said, I like her as a person, not a fertility machine. Giving birth to a child is a life for me. Life without children can be another choice for me, as long as I am with Wan.

Women can be strong, but why should they always be strong?

This sentence sounds like rubbing salt in the wound of a self-reliant and competitive woman.

For example, for Arlene. But that was before.

Allen is cheerful. Although she is strong, she thinks she is considerate enough. For example, if her boyfriend doesn't have time to decorate the house, she will wave generously and say, "You do your thing, I'll do it." For example, on a holiday trip, she will reject her boyfriend's proposal one by one and make a set of plans that she thinks are more perfect overnight. In short, although she is talking about "freedom of speech", many times she is telling the truth, which cannot be changed, or it is difficult to change.

Her practice has made her previous boyfriends very painful and depressed. They think Allyn doesn't respect their feelings and everything is up to her. But Arlene's husband talked about it with relish:

"First of all, I think it's good to have such a wife who doesn't need me to worry about. Being able to support this family gives me no worries. Men are more capable, but women are not so strong.

And I have my own opinions, and I am also a confident person. I obey her because I love her, not because I can't treat Nuo Nuo passively. In short, no matter what strength, as long as she is happy, I will be satisfied. Why do you care so much about these little things? "

Although he shows his gentleness and weakness in time, men will feel more dependent and have a sense of accomplishment; Although a woman who does not show weakness sometimes makes the other half feel very tired, the relationship between husband and wife of a woman who shows weakness is not much different; But the key is to find the right person who appreciates you. Does it matter what other people think of as a good wife and mother?

She has a bad temper, but she is very active!

Miao Fang is not good at dealing with face-to-face communication because she has lost such an example since she was a child. Her whole childhood was spent without her parents, and she lived in her grandmother's house from birth.

It may be because I am too afraid of being hurt, so I have been preparing for taking the initiative to hurt. As Osamu Dazai said in Disqualification on Earth, cowards are afraid of happiness, just like cotton can hurt people.

So she is sensitive, willful and bad-tempered.

But she is kind-hearted, always in the state of chicken blood, like a tumbler, an immortal cockroach.

After five years of marriage, her husband talks to me every time he sees me;

"Living with her is always dominated by her positive attitude towards life.

An ordinary magnolia flower that fell to the ground, she saw the Xanadu at a glance and saw the spring blossoms. An autumn leaf is falling gently, and she sighed happily: it seems to be falling, but it is actually flying freely. Ordinary grass, she told me excitedly, grass is so big that there is no shelter, but wildfire never completely devours them, and they grow taller in the spring breeze ... "

He is also very excited. "With her, I feel that living between ordinary food, clothing, housing and transportation has become more meaningful."

Well, there are more. ...

Some people don't want to live with their parents, but they can make their parents happy. Her goal was achieved, the other party was very happy, and the old man was also happy.

Some people look ordinary and not slim, but she is smart and knowledgeable, a soul mate and spiritual. Problems in life can be solved intelligently, and problems in work can help you make suggestions.

Like Zuckerberg's wife, like Shi Nansheng, like many.

03

Love is separated by mountains and seas, and mountains and seas can be flat.

All I can say is,

If he loves you, all problems are no longer obstacles. Southeast and northwest are on the road, and everyone likes to eat sweet and sour. If he loves you, he will appreciate you and be willing to warm you, tolerate you, tolerate you and encourage you. Finding someone who can appreciate yourself is always the first step in love.

Undeniably, the classic image of a good wife and mother is still an important indicator for modern men to choose a spouse.

But now men care more about each other's personality, their spiritual fit and their marriage management ability. As for whether you are hardworking and virtuous, whether you have the ability to do housework is not the most important thing.

It's been a long time since our parents and grandparents.

As you can imagine, the traditional wife and mother type women can only live and treat their lovers well, but they don't know how to operate, so it is difficult to maintain a beautiful and long-term marriage; And a woman with interest, high emotional intelligence and good management can make love last in Mika.

Think about our relationship is not smooth, because we don't know what men really want? You might as well manage every moment of comfort between you first.

"Come with me, I will give you a love letter, a sleepless night, an early morning in April, the first bite of ice cream, the last fish ball in the hot pot, my hand, my arm, my ticket, my journey, my waiting, my key, my home, my loneliness and the rest of my life." ?

Qing Ji

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