The funniest jokes in the world! ! ! ! ! !

A person has received a letter from afar. The letter was written in another language, and he

couldn't understand it at all.

At that time, Avanti had a big blue on his head. He thought

Avanti was a great scholar, so he went to him and begged, "Avanti, would you please read me this letter?" I asked a lot of people, and they all said they couldn't understand. "

avanti took the letter and saw that it was written in Arabic. He didn't understand it either, so he said to the man, "Big Brother, this letter is written in Arabic.

I don't understand Arabic either. Please find someone who knows Arabic to read it for you.

"

The man felt a little strange and said to him unhappily, "Avanti,

you are a great scholar, and you have a pot-sized orchid on your head. Aren't you ashamed that you don't know these words

?" Afandi was very angry when he heard this. He immediately took off the orchid on < P >' s head and put it on the man's head. He said, "Well, if the orchid can read, I'll put it on you. Please read it yourself!"

You were cheated

One day, Afandi met Kazi, and Kazi asked him, "Afandi, I heard that

many people praised me as a very kind and fair person at yesterday's gathering. Is this true?

"dear Lord kazi, you have been cheated. I've never heard anyone praise you. "

My name is Bribery

One day, Avanti came to tell on Kazi.

"What's your name?" Kazi asked.

"my name is bribe!" Avanti replied.

"where did this name come from?" Khartoum transcribing asked with a smile.

"I heard that you like bribery, so I changed my name to bribery." Avanti said.

Bad omen

One day, the king was in a bad mood and wanted to go hunting and have fun. Just as he was leaving

to open the palace, he met Avanti.

"Guard, don't let me see this Sang Men star. Drive him away with a whip!" King

shouted to the guards, "It's unlucky to meet him before going hunting!"

the guards complied. But this day the hunting was very successful, and the king returned with a full load. The king later called Avanti and said, "I'm sorry, Avanti, I thought you were a bad omen, but the facts show that you are not."

"You thought I was a bad omen!" Afandi said, "You saw me and got a full load of prey, but I saw you and got a whip.

who is a bad omen? "

I'm worried that it's thirsty.

Avanti went to a wedding reception. Treat all kinds of snacks. After the dried fruits and all kinds of delicious

foods were set, the person sitting next to him with a big color orchid began to

gobble up, and sometimes stuffed this

Seine into his pocket when people were not looking.

Avanti saw all his actions. Avanti really didn't like

his greedy behavior, so he unhurriedly lifted a teapot,

lifted the man's pocket full of food with his hand, and poured tea into his pocket.

"avanti, what are you doing?" The man said angrily, "where can I pour tea into people's pockets?"

"ah! Only then did I see that your pocket ate a lot of snacks and naan, and I was worried that it was

thirsty, so ... "Avanti replied.

I dare not let you see my face

Avanti slapped the king, which made him very angry. He shouted

at Avanti, "Get out! Don't let me see your face again! " With that, the king expelled Avanti

from the palace.

a few days later, several envoys came from neighboring countries. The king failed to answer the

question put forward by the messengers, so he had to call Avanti again.

Afandi bowed, turned his back to the king and walked to the king, just pointing his fart at the king.

"avanti, how dare you!" The king was furious.

"Your Majesty, I did what you asked." Afandi answered

: "You said to me the other day,' Don't let me see your face again,' so

I dare not let you see my face!"

The county magistrate and his donkey

The county magistrate lost his donkey. He called Avanti and said to him, "Avanti, you have lost donkeys many times. You are experienced in finding donkeys. Please help me find them."

avanti started walking around looking for donkeys, but he was singing as he walked. A

friend was so happy to see him and asked,

"Afandi, you are so happy, I'm afraid there is something happy!"

"The county official's donkey is lost. I'm looking for his donkey!" Avanti replied.

"The county magistrate's donkey is lost. You should be anxious. What song are you singing?" Friends

friends asked strangely.

"It's because he lost his donkey that I sing. If one day he loses it himself

, I will hold a big banquet to celebrate!" Avanti replied.

Stupid

Avanti deliberately boasted to people in the street, saying, "Yesterday the king called me

to make me his right prime minister."

A person who heard this asked him, "Avanti, you stupid guy, what did Hu

say!"

"Yes, if I'm not stupid, can the king make me his right prime minister?" Afan

said.

squint eyes

avanti's eyes are a little squint. The king wanted to make fun of him in front of everyone and said,

, "Avanti, do people who squint at things double?"

"Yes, Your Majesty, now it seems to me that you have four legs." Afan

ti replied.

It can also be when the king

came to Avanti's mill and saw two

big bell stops hanging around the neck of the pulled donkey, and asked Avanti, "Avanti, why do you want to hang two

big bell stops around the donkey's neck? Isn't it tired?"

Afandi said, "Your Majesty, sometimes when I fall asleep, this beast stops lazily.

As soon as it stops ringing, I can wake up and whip it hard."

The king asked again, "If this beast stays where he is and shakes his head,

will you sleep peacefully all the time?"

"Oh, my King, if this beast had your wisdom,

wouldn't it also be king!" Avanti said.

is there any real evidence?

Avanti's donkey was stolen, and he suspected that it was the villagers. Then he told

that when he arrived at Kazi, Kazi said to him, "Avanti, you didn't see it with your own eyes, and

you didn't catch it with your own hands, and there is no real evidence, so this official will not accept it." Say that finish,

any lift out.

A few days later, Avanti rode Kazi's tall horse to the market and sold it.

So Kazi sent Avanti as a suspect for interrogation: "Avanti, what should you do for stealing my horse?"

"Don't be angry, Sir. You always say that there must be real evidence. Did you see me steal the horse with your own eyes?"? Did you catch me yourself? Or is there a witness? "

Kazi was speechless and had to let him go.

Digging the grave

One day, the Mullah asked Afandi, "How are you going to serve the king in the future?"

"I can at least dig the grave for the king!" " Avanti replied.

On horseback

A man often shows off his career on horseback in an attempt to ridicule Avanti.

One day, he rode a big burly horse and asked Afandi, "Afandi, where is your donkey at the moment?"

"At this moment, my donkey is on horseback." Avanti replied to him.

Switch with the donkey's brain

Afandi's ears are not working well after an illness. One day, King

ridiculed him and said, "Avanti, your ears are getting worse and worse. Would you please

exchange your ears with those of your donkey?"

"no, I have enough ears. I don't think your brain is enough. I hope

you can exchange your brain with my donkey's. " Avanti replied.

Record of Fools

Avanti finished writing a Book of Fools, and wrote down all the fools and their stupid behaviors

on it.

When the king heard this, he asked him, "Avanti, my name was not recorded in

The Record of Fools, was it?"

"Your Majesty, of course your name is on it." Avanti replied respectfully

.

"For what stupid behavior did I put my name on the paper?" King

asked Avanti in surprise.

"Your Majesty, have you forgotten? Last year, a big liar came and said to send you

two excellent jujube stallions. Do you believe it and give him 1

gold coins for nothing? Is there anything more stupid than this? " Avanti reminded him.

"Yes, that big liar will either send the horse or return the gold coins.

Yes!" The king said regretfully.

"Yes, if that liar can do one of these two things, I will erase your name from

The Record of Fools." Avanti said.

Learn to swim first

One day, the king said to Avanti, "Avanti, your mouth is very sweet, just like

putting honey on it, but your heart is not necessarily loyal to me."

"no, your majesty, what you said is wrong. I have always been loyal to you." Ah

Fanti said.

Then let me have a look at your actual actions. Please jump into this deep pool

! "The king demanded, any lift after listen to, got up and walked out.

"avanti, where are you going?" Asked the king.

"I'll learn to swim from my fishing friends first, and then jump when I come back!" " Avanti

said.

The culprit

One year, there was a bumper harvest of melons and fruits, and there were also a lot of mosquitoes and flies. On this day, the king gave a banquet to invite

guests and asked Afandi to stand at the dining table to specifically repel mosquitoes and flies.

The king and his guests were enjoying all kinds of delicious food leisurely, but Avanti stood

holding a rocking fan and constantly bombarding mosquitoes and flies flying around and landing at the banquet, flying

to catch a handful, and his stomach was growling, but no one let him rest for a while

or let him eat something.

just as the guests were talking and laughing, Afan was so angry that he overturned the banquet table and covered it with a napkin.

The king flew into a rage and sharply denounced, "Avanti, what are you doing?"

"Your Majesty, when will these pesky mosquitoes and flies be driven away one after another? Can they be spared such a splendid banquet? They spread from one mouth to ten

, and if all the mosquitoes and flies come, they may eat us all.

The culprit is this banquet, and if we don't destroy them ... "Afandi

said plausibly.

under your wise leadership

one day, the king met avanti and asked, "avanti, how is your life?"

"Like a fine horse ..." Avanti replied.

"I thought you were going to say like a dog?" King coconut palm road.

Afandi caressed his chest and said, "Yes, under the wise leadership of your old man,

I live like a shameless dog!"

"Then why did you say like a fine horse just now?" The king asked again.

"I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. I forgot that it was you who greeted me just now." Afan

ti replied.

let Allah give it to you!

one day, avanti climbed up the wall and was about to repair the courtyard wall when there was a knock at the door.

avanti looked over and saw a beggar. The beggar said to Avanti, "Sir, can you

come down?" Avanti thought there was something really wrong with the beggar, so he climbed down from the wall with difficulty.

The beggar said to Avanti, "For God's sake, be kind and give a little!" " Afandi was so angry that he pulled the beggar over, put his mouth to his ear and said, < P > "Can you go up for a moment?" Then, they climbed up the courtyard wall together.

avanti said to the beggar, "Here is closer to God, let God give it to you!"

The King and the Line

A stupid king often talks nonsense in front of foreign ambassadors and philosophers, which often makes the prime ministers and officials around him feel embarrassed and embarrassed. In order to get rid of this embarrassment, they invited Avanti to the palace and asked him to look after the king.

"I can be a consultant, but I have one condition." Afandi listened to the king's request to him and said, "I want to wear a thread secretly from under the mattress where you are sitting, with one end tied to your foot and the other in my hand.". If what you say is right, I

won't move. If it's wrong, I'll pull the line. Please stop immediately. "

The king agreed to Avanti's terms. One day, three ambassadors came from abroad. The king couldn't wait to ask them, "Are cats, dogs and the like in your country very fat?"

Afandi quickly pulled the thread, and the king immediately stopped talking

. Then, Avanti explained to the messengers: "Our king's question has a profound meaning. When he said that cats and dogs are fat, he meant that your people live and work in peace and contentment, and your cattle and sheep are fat."

The messengers were convinced of the king. But the king shouted

to Avanti: "Avanti, you are a stupid consultant. Why did you pull the cord when I said such a profound

word?"

Being able to pinch and calculate

Avanti is sitting by a river. People ask him, "Avanti, everyone says that you can pinch and calculate, so tell me, if the water in this river is measured in barrels, how many barrels can it hold?"

"Let me tell you this, if this river is as big as that bucket, there is only one bucket of water in this

river; If that bucket is half the size of this river, there are only two buckets of water in this river. " Avanti replied.

A plate of earth

Avanti invited Imam, Kazi, Maizeng and other people to be guests at home, and treated them with

pulled noodles mixed with oily meat. I looked at the delicious noodles with oily meat.

I still wanted to eat after eating two large plates in a row, but I was too embarrassed to ask. I just nodded again and again and praised,

"Madam's cooking is really good. This noodle is as thin as her hair, and

the food is as fresh as her appearance."

"Your Excellency, you flatter me. Please enjoy another plate!" Avanti said.

"well, then I'm welcome. It's a pity that you don't eat more of this delicious food. It's worth bursting your belly. " According to hemp eye said.

So, Avanti took a plate of earth from his empty plate and put it in front of Imam

, saying, "Please use it, Imam!"

"avanti, what do you mean?" In accordance with the hemp eye puzzled to ask.

Afandi said, "Sir, I remembered a sentence you said

when you gave us a lecture the other day."

"which sentence is it?" According to hemp eye asked.

"The greedy man's desire can only be filled when he enters the soil." Avanti said.

where is the hell?

One day, the king asked Afandi, "Where is the eighteen levels of hell?"

"your majesty. I think the location of eighteen layers of hell is probably under the eighteen dungeons that belong to you. " Avanti replied.

fire and water

avanti mentioned.