Why not choose to have a second child?

Women can't take care of them at home. After giving birth to children, they can't sit well for a month and have a second child!

17 On July 9, a parturient in Shandong was taken to the hospital for heatstroke. The doctor checked her temperature, which was over 40 degrees, which was surprisingly high. The doctor on duty said that when the mother sent it, she was wearing trousers and long sleeves and wrapped tightly.

"Her family said that because she was confined to the moon and was afraid of getting sick, she wore thick clothes. My mother-in-law also said that fans and air conditioners can't be turned on at home, so that my mother can cover the quilt. "

When she was taken to the hospital, the maternal internal organs had been damaged to varying degrees and burned to death.

I just know that confinement will also kill people!

I've heard several women say this:

"Mother-in-law willy-nilly, anyway, during confinement, no shampoo and bath. God, it's dog days. It's so hot that I fly into a rage every day. I asked my sister-in-law to secretly wash it for me. After my mother-in-law found out, she even shaved my head with a push knife! "

"The frequency of breastfeeding for children should be fixed every day, and the mother-in-law is good. Feed the child as soon as he cries. The child can't drink that much, and she is always choking on milk. She doesn't care. Show it to me, so I don't have time to sleep. Give my children all kinds of supplements, adults can't stand it, let alone children! "

"Whether the baby is drinking milk, urinating or sleeping, she will give me the previous example. Hey, I told her I was thirsty. When will the scientific confinement in the new era spread to my mother-in-law's generation? "

"When I was pregnant, my mother-in-law was fine and followed me everywhere. After giving birth to the baby, she began to find fault. It is estimated that many postpartum depression are related to mother-in-law. "

Confinement is a mirror of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

There is no real intersection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law when there are no children. However, once the child is born, the child becomes the blood bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and how to take care of the child has become the explosion point of the contradiction between the two generations.

Mother-in-law didn't mean to embarrass her wife, and her wife didn't mean to spit out her mother-in-law. The reason why the two sides are increasingly entangled is actually the lack of communication:

One side should stick to the original values, while the other side should persuade the other side to accept the new values. Daughter-in-law is in a weak state physically and psychologically, and often loses in the war of values between two generations, and is scarred.

It is difficult to be a woman. Women who have just given birth are particularly hard.

I interviewed several colleagues in the company who have given birth to children and found that they all have the trouble of confinement.

@ One Plus Two Sisters

When I'm going to have a baby, I'm going to have a confinement at my mother's house. Because my home is only a few minutes away from the hospital and my husband's home is half an hour away from the hospital.

But my in-laws strongly disagreed and came to our house to persuade my parents. Later, it was directly in the tone of education: "In other people's homes? Laugh to death when you say it. Don't you know this will drag your son down? Your niece is too young to be sensible. Why don't you understand when you are old? "

My mother is a very strong woman, and they cried.

I heard them talking in the room at that time. I felt very wronged and cried badly.

Later, I couldn't help it, but I still sat at my husband's house. But where do they take care of me? Show off in front of relatives and friends with your child in your arms every day. I am particularly tired of this noisy environment.

Changing diapers for children, I do all the urination and defecation by myself, and my in-laws also send food and water. Where can I rest in peace? Locked me in my room all day and wouldn't let me go out.

I must hold the children when they sleep. They can't get on stage at all and don't want to be coaxed. After giving birth, my body is already very weak. I have to hold it like this every day, which leads to my waist not being straight now.

People have recovered from confinement, and I am still sick from confinement. What is "Moon Disease"? Look at my frustration now. Although it has been two years, I still feel angry when I think about it!

My mother-in-law also told me to have a second child. I even got like this when I gave birth to a baby for a month. How can I have a second child?

@ Yushu

I was delivered by caesarean section, and it was very hard when I was pregnant. I vomited until the day of delivery. Go home for confinement four days after delivery.

My husband and I work in Guangzhou, and my husband lives in Jiangxi.

I thought my mother-in-law would come. She said she would give her brother-in-law a blind date. She was too busy. She also called three or four times when she was pregnant, and she was very attentive every time, but she never met me in person.

My mother always takes care of me when I am confined. So is the poor old man. I spend all my time here except going to work and sleeping.

My mother-in-law is obviously a housewife and has plenty of time. I'd rather take care of the children by myself. However, during confinement, my body was too weak. I really don't want to do other housework except for the children. I hope she will come, because I hope she can help me share these housework. Is that too much to ask?

Ah, after all, a married wife is always inferior to her own. Sometimes it's not that I don't want to treat her as my own mother, but that I really can't be enthusiastic about her attitude towards me.

I don't have any sequelae physically, but I always feel left out psychologically. I don't know if this is a kind of lunar disease.

@Wendy

My home is in Foshan, and my husband's ancestral home is Chaoshan. I thought they attached great importance to this, but I found that I thought too much.

My mother-in-law is in her fifties, and her career is at its peak. She is a business madman. She is not very involved in her husband's discipline. It happened that something happened in her hometown at that time, and she went back. During the confinement, I was basically alone.

Husband? Forget it. Husband is basically useless during confinement: he doesn't do housework or coax children. It's good to hide aside and not make a sound. If my son can be half as quiet as he is, I will be satisfied with you.

At that time, I felt very depressed, which was far from the treatment of the queen when she was confined to the moon. Maybe this is a woman's life.

My colleagues are all educated and knowledgeable women, and my in-laws are not ignorant rural families.

Their problem is not only the difference with their mother-in-law's concept, but also the lack of proper care.

In either case, this is actually a symbol that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't communicate.

After giving birth to a child, a woman is physically and psychologically weak. The older generation often said that if you don't sit well in the confinement, you will get "moon disease". But they never imagined that the biggest "moon disease" is actually the kind of loneliness that women are not valued during confinement.

A generation ago, people would think that the so-called loneliness of young women is purely melodramatic: you have the love of your husband, you have the love of your family, and the modern material conditions are so good, why are you still lonely? In those days, when we were confined, we had to work in the fields.

But modern medicine has long proved that this loneliness will destroy a woman.

Xiaohe didn't give birth to her first baby until she was 30 years old.

He was tortured when he was born: he was unsuccessful for more than ten hours and had to switch to caesarean section; When the baby was born, she was isolated for observation. She was so angry that she affected the next sip of milk. She gritted her teeth and drank all kinds of salt-free soup every day to promote lactation. Massage the breast until it hurts; The milk came out and mastitis began to attack from time to time.

During confinement, my husband was completely absent because of his busy work. Finally, call my mother-in-law for help. She never liked the slow milking of the river, and she was secretly sarcastic.

As long as the child cries, the mother-in-law always urges to feed it immediately, and she refuses to use milk powder, saying that human milk is nutritious enough.

Finally, as soon as he heard the child crying, Xiaohei immediately became nervous. Several times, even when the child opened his mouth, as long as he didn't make any noise, he covered the child's mouth nervously.

Later, she heard her mother-in-law calling her husband in the living room. She deliberately said it out loud: "There is not enough milk, and the child always cries. Your daughter-in-law doesn't care She always has a fever. I have never seen any woman work so hard to feed a breast. "

The more you listen to the river, the more you feel inferior and completely collapse. Tears can't help but brush off. I still dare not make any noise, for fear of waking the children, so I can only cover my mouth and hide in the corner of the room.

She felt suffocated in her chest and just wanted to take a big breath. It happened that the window was open, and she had an illusion: if she jumped from here, she should be able to breathe fresh air, right?

Afterwards, she felt very scared: if she couldn't hold on at that time, she really jumped like this.

A situation like Xiao He is actually a symptom of postpartum depression. The reason is the loneliness that women feel when they are confinement, and the pressure that no one can share.

Sometimes, it's women who embarrass women.

According to domestic related literature reports, about 50% of pregnant women in China have more or less depression, and the prevalence rate of postpartum depression is 12%- 13%. Compared with other patients with depression, pregnant women are more likely to self-harm, and more seriously, pregnant women will also have "extended suicide", that is, they will kill their children before committing suicide.

Mother-in-law's company is very important, not only related to pregnant women, but also related to the happiness of the family.

Unfortunate women have their own misfortunes, but happy women have one thing in common: confinement is very comfortable.

And such happiness largely comes from a good mother-in-law.

Colleague Lingling and her husband live in Guangzhou, not in her husband's family or her mother's family.

When Lingling was pregnant, she heard that there would be disputes between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law when her mother-in-law was in confinement, so she told her husband never to let her mother-in-law come.

My husband repeatedly explained to her: My mother is a Hakka with a close relationship and a high level of education. She has had the experience of helping two sisters to confinement before, which is more reliable. Lingling reluctantly agreed.

My mother-in-law came when I was eight months pregnant.

Lingling had heard that novice mothers generally don't produce milk, so she prepared milk powder and bottles in advance. Mother-in-law smiled and said, "It is best to have colostrum when a child is born. Come, niece, mother will give you a massage. "

So I taught her to massage her chest for five minutes every night, which was very comfortable. At 38 weeks, Lingling was able to milk herself. The mother-in-law smiled and said, "Our baby has milk to eat!"

Husband often comes home late and doesn't even plan to take maternity leave.

Mother-in-law knew and scolded him: "What's the matter? Your wife is going to have a baby, and you are still busy working overtime? My husband was not at home when my wife was born. Do you know how boring she is? You don't even want maternity leave. When did you become so diligent? I don't approve. Your wife is confinement, you should sit at home for at least half a month! "

Scold her husband for admitting his mistake over and over again. Lingling was watching, not knowing how cool it was. She has never worshipped her mother-in-law so much.

Lingling gave birth smoothly. After giving birth to the child, her mother-in-law made her more soup than she could drink;

Every noon, her mother-in-law will feed her herbal water for the next month, let it cool to the right temperature and then wash her hair and bathe, so that she can shout for comfort; In addition to breastfeeding, the baby's mother-in-law also bathes and urinates for her.

During the whole confinement period, even her husband became clever under the guidance of her mother-in-law: serving tea and pouring water, helping her wife wipe her body and change clothes, and the child took it out crying and never clamored for Lingling to rest.

During confinement, Lingling's impression of her mother-in-law changed greatly. Thanks to the care of her mother-in-law, she also avoided the anxiety and loss that other parturients are prone to, and recovered well.

Having a good mother-in-law does not mean having a good marriage, but a good mother-in-law can maintain the happiness of a family by helping her daughter-in-law and imparting experience.

The secret of happiness in this family is that the daughter-in-law sits well in confinement.