Postpartum, a process of regaining confidence

As women, one thing is fair to us, that is, being pregnant and giving birth, experiencing pregnancy discomfort, enduring the pain of ripening and childbirth. Of course, except for those who do not choose to get married and have children.

? Sometimes, we envy others' queen-like destiny; sometimes, we envy others' princess-like treatment; sometimes, we envy others' youthful and beautiful appearance... And wait for these, when facing Before pregnancy and childbirth, we are all the same. Even though she has excellent conditions and is pampered in every possible way, the discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth are the same. Maybe at this moment, we will all say in unison, we are all women, it is not easy for women, why should women make things difficult for women? So because of our motherhood, we learned to cherish each other among people of the same sex.

The most gratifying and devastating thing for us is the postpartum period. What was gratifying was that the baby was finally born, and there was a new member of the family. What was disheartening was that I looked at my body that was still bloated even after unloading due to pregnancy. The external pain in my body has not yet healed, and I still have to accept that I am loose, severely deformed, and completely different from before I was pregnant. What I felt at that moment was a sense of loss and lack of confidence. This is also the reason why many mothers suffer from depression after giving birth!

? I am 153 centimeters tall and weighed about 98 pounds before pregnancy. By the end of the pregnancy, my weight had soared to 148 pounds, and I had gained 50 pounds during the entire pregnancy. I guess it was during the pregnancy, and I didn’t feel much discomfort. Then under the advice that the baby needs nutrition, and now I am eating alone, raising two people, etc., the amount of food for three meals a day increased greatly. So, I, who was quite a sweetheart at first, gradually moved towards the ranks of aunts with fat heads, fat ears, big fat bodies, and belly as big as a basket! But when I was pregnant, the joy of preparing to be a mother overshadowed my concern for myself. Once the baby was born, he still weighed more than 130 pounds. At this time, when I looked at myself in the mirror every day, my heart collapsed. I lost the confidence I had before and became anxious and uneasy. I began to lack the pursuit of beauty for myself. I wore a huge T-shirt, shorts, and slippers every day, and silently put away the skirt from back then. Even though I feel sad inside, I still comfort myself that it’s worth it for the baby.

However, I was still unwilling to give in, so when the baby was 50 days old, the fierce desire to lose weight suddenly stirred up my whole body and mind. I started to diet appropriately and took time to exercise once a day. When I am young, I practice aerobics at home and go out for a run with my husband in the evening. In fact, this is not good for the body just after giving birth, but at that time, I was already forced into a desperate situation. I can't accept myself like that. I was on maternity leave for 5 months. I did aerobics at home for three months. Although the results were not immediate, at 5 months postpartum, I weighed about 117 pounds. I could fit in the looser clothes before pregnancy. It’s still like a rice dumpling, but at least it’s showing initial results! However, I also encountered a bottleneck period and found that my weight was like a stubborn old antique that could no longer swing. So before my maternity leave was about to end, I became interested and signed up for postpartum personal training! I hope to seek external help to lose weight!

During the training with a personal trainer, I gradually realized that I had ignored the damage to my postpartum body just to lose weight. Under the professional guidance of a personal trainer, I stopped strenuous running, fitness and other exercises. I concentrated on repairing the pelvic floor muscles and rectus abdominis, but the process was really worse than death. At that time, I no longer envied the beautiful figures of celebrities who quickly recovered a few months after giving birth, because I deeply experienced the difficulty and pain behind it. A beautiful figure is not only obtained by external force or money, but more importantly, by one's own super willpower and devilish training. Three feet of ice is not a day's cold. Without a bone-chilling cold, there will be no fragrance of plum blossoms. The rehabilitation courses are also becoming more and more difficult, and each time it feels like life would be worse than death. However, every time I take two days off from work, I still happily attend the postpartum rehabilitation classes. This process relies on the persistent pursuit of meeting a better self, and a passion for asking yourself to be new every day.

Under scientific guidance and self-restraint, my weight dropped to about 110 within three months. However, the cold winter has arrived, and with the coats and the steaming hot pot coming, the thought of reserving energy for a good winter instantly takes over the whole body and mind. After one winter, I suddenly reached 118 pounds again. March is here with the warmth of spring, and as the horn of my baby’s one-year-old blows, the coach’s assessment is that I have basically recovered, and then my fight against fat begins again.

So I started doing crazy exercises like plank support, aerobics, yoga, etc. for nearly 20 minutes a day for more than 40 consecutive days. But after all, it was difficult to lose weight, and I found that the weight came off very slowly. Sometimes even after Zheng Duoyan did aerobics for 20 days in a row, she still didn't lose a few pounds. At this time, the two little ghosts in my mind were fighting, and one kid said, Oh, why bother? It’s useless, don’t waste your efforts! Just a waste of time. Another kid said that if you persist and work hard, success is probably just around the corner, just the last step away. Finally, the positive kid defeated the negative kid, so after three months of aerobics and plank support, my weight dropped by 10 kilograms, reaching 108 kilograms! It was now the hot month of June, and I could clearly feel that my previously tight work clothes were starting to become looser, and I felt lighter every day when I walked.

? In order to wear a beautiful skirt for the public holiday trip in August, in the remaining month or so, I am more and more motivated to exercise and lose weight. I clock in at 7 o'clock every day to get up and exercise. I sweat like rain before going to work every day. I take a shower and then go to work full of energy. All the hard work paid off, and I weighed 103.5 pounds before the trip. Although there is still some distance from the goal of 98 pounds, I am already full of confidence. Now that my baby is more than 1 year and 4 months old, I have also dropped from 133 pounds after delivery to 103 pounds. This process did not rely on any external forces such as weight loss pills, but relied on daily sweaty exercise. The 30 pounds lost is not just about weight, but also about self-confidence and self-understanding. I have always felt that people who are demanding about themselves will have more confidence and courage in life, because managing yourself well is the highest state of management.

Now that I have returned from traveling, I am more satisfied with my tanned self. Because after more than a year after giving birth, I have gone from focusing solely on external self-confidence to now having an internal understanding of myself! Beauty is never just about the skin, but more about a person's wisdom, the confidence and satisfaction bursting from the heart of a person. At the same time, after giving birth, I started studying at an online academy at my own expense. Reading 24 books in half a year has helped me get rid of the anxiety and random thoughts of raising a baby after childbirth, and I feel more fulfilled! And the habit of reading every day has been maintained to this day.

? Postpartum is a difficult physical and mental recovery period. I am very grateful to my parents and husband for their help. I feel deeply about this sentence. "Actually, there is no such thing as quiet time. It's just that someone takes the blame for you and moves forward." Indeed, all your ease is only borne by your closest people. I am grateful to my parents for taking care of my baby and giving me time to repair myself. I am grateful to my husband for supporting and encouraging me during this process! Regaining self-confidence is an arduous journey! Even if you are hesitant, even if you are sad, please don't give up the pursuit of a better self. We can be slow, but we can't stop moving forward or even retreat. Because women are inherently weak, but motherhood makes them strong. May all mothers be their best selves in peace and quiet.