Funny copy of October screen

1. 1 When people don't have beautiful skin, they mistakenly think they have an interesting soul. In fact, ugliness and fun are two different things!

2. People will grow up three times. The first time I saw Apple taking a selfie, the second time I saw the balance of Alipay, and the third time I went to weighing scale.

I saw a sister kneeling on the ground and writing a line on the ground in front of her: it costs two yuan to take a ride. I looked at the sister, but sighed and turned away. You didn't take two dollars with you when you went out, and you still had a piece of chalk in your pocket. Are you a fool?

The most beautiful thing in this world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

We should know how to cherish and protect everyone around us, because looking back at us who broke our neck in our last life, we met in this life.

6. "Will you call me if I lose it?" "Of course, who lost 100 kilograms of meat and didn't find it!"

7. The reason why I smoke is simple: My grandfather smokes, and so does my father, so it's my turn not to burn incense.

8. When you see me staring at you all the time, don't think I'm interested in you. I just forgot to wear my glasses when I went out. Everyone looks like an acquaintance, so I really can't see who you really are.

9. I have learned many skills and found that the most useful skill is "modesty".

10. When one or two people said I was fat, I didn't think so, but when more and more people said I was fat, I realized the seriousness of the matter, and there were more and more liars.

1 1. Some boys don't even know what a girl's personality and character are like. Just looking at a photo and saying whether you like it or not is called buying food.

12. When I was a child, my father often told me stories about him 10 going out to work and shouldering heavy burdens. After listening to this, I secretly vowed to be a braggart like my father when I grow up.

13. Lao Liu flew home in a couple of days and called his daughter-in-law and said, If I die, you are still young, find another one and don't be a widow for me. His daughter-in-law said with tears: I have found it, just waiting for you to die.

14. I had hot pot with my friends last night and asked the waiter to add water. Attendant: Wait a minute! After a while, he shouted: waiter: wait a minute! At this time, the friend shouted: check out! As soon as the voice fell, the waiter came running, and the friend went on to say, add some water first. ...

15. The teacher asked: There is a kind of horse in the world, black and white. What kind of horse is it? Xiaoming: QR code! Teacher: Get out!

16. On the first day of school, the kindergarten director called me and told me if your children watched too many court plays. On the first day of roll call, the child directly replied, "I am a slave!" "

17. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets. The former successfully called the teacher, while the latter successfully called the boss. Both of them successfully called their wives or universities or churches!

18. I've been working outdoors recently and got a tan. I went to the supermarket to buy some whitening skin care products, and the salesman even praised me: You speak Chinese really well.

19. An employee bought a cup with the words "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

20. The secret of telling male compatriots not to wash the dishes is that every time my wife asks you to wash the dishes, she deliberately breaks the bowl and won't let you wash the dishes because she is distressed. This is my experience on the washboard!

2 1. "What kind of men do you women like?" "More humorous!" "Then I'm not a group of wives?" "Humorous people don't count!"