Four sentences on cultivating excellent sons

? If you want to cultivate a good and confident boy, parents are like taming animals. It doesn't need to be too hard, but it needs to be in the right direction. The book "Boys Need Clear Instructions" points out that boys have never been problem makers. As long as parents give boys clear guidance, their talents will be excavated. There are boys at home, so parents may wish to talk about these four sentences.

1, "It's different to have a son or not"

Show weakness to your son appropriately. Educator Sun Yunxiao once pointed out such a boy crisis: modern boys are becoming "weak", and many boys have lost masculinity, sense of responsibility and other masculinity, and turned to show people with weak faces such as "femininity". Educator Lu Qin has repeatedly advised parents to give boys room to grow up. She said: "If you have a son at home, your parents will be weaker. If you are too strong, your son is weak. If your son depends on you, he won't grow up. If you rely on him, he will grow. " So how did you do it? Lu Qin gave a speech and said more: "It's different to have a son or not." A mother, afraid of her neighbor's big dog, followed her husband every time she went home. Later, her husband went abroad to work, and she was afraid to go upstairs. Her son said, "Mom is fine! Don't be afraid, I'm here. " When I went upstairs, the dog barked badly. Although her son was trembling with fear, he still protected her from behind. She sincerely lamented: it is different to have a son without a son! Hearing this, the son looked proud and his courage gradually increased. Once, grandma was going out to take out the garbage, so my son took a small bench and walked into the dark corridor, turning on the light to let grandma out. Grandma was moved to tears and said, "It's just different to have a boy at home." In this way, the mother seized the opportunity to say this to her son, and his son gradually changed from a timid little boy to a little man. In fact, boys are not born to be men. 6~ 13 years old is the period when boys strive to become men. The sentence "It's different without a son" seems simple, but it invisibly inspires the boy's sense of responsibility and value. To make a boy stand tall, parents should first praise him, give him courage and strength, and let him play the role of a "boy".

2. "Why are you doing this? What do you think? "

I have heard a saying: Give a boy a toolbox and he can tear down the earth. A boy is simply a lever to tear down the family, with endless destructive power and imagination. The newly bought toy was taken apart in less than half a day. I cut a hole in the TV just to see if I can get in. The notebook was clearly hidden, and the keyboard was torn when it was taken out. Having a baby won't make you old, but raising a son for minutes will make you crazy! In fact, when the boy is tearing down his home again, his parents should not rush to label him as "naughty". They might as well kneel down and ask him, "What do you think?" After all, things that are broken can be repaired, curiosity is obliterated, and children's hearts are bound.

At school, Fan Wen, who won four national patents for inventions, was also a boy who loved to "sabotage" since childhood. Once, my mother spent two months' salary to buy a radio, and he took it apart a few days later. Mom didn't lose her temper or accuse him when she found out, but asked him, "What do you think? Can you talk to your mother? " Fan Wen replied, "I want to see how my aunt sings in it." For a long time, no matter what trouble Fan Wen caused, her mother would first listen to his ideas, affirm his whimsy, and then accompany him to solve things. His curiosity and innovative thinking were well protected, and thus he created inventions that won national patents again and again. As educator Homlinski said: Children's wisdom is at your fingertips. Hands-on is brains, and the process of disassembly is the process of developing intelligence and actively exploring. Instead of staring at the boy's destructive behavior, it is better to find the "whimsy" behind the boy's behavior and provide the boy with the motivation to explore and the wings of imagination.

3. "Can you do it about XX?"

Because of dopamine and testosterone, our boy is like a perpetual motion machine, full of energy. He kept silent for a minute and his skin itched all over. Forget it at home. In public, that minute is the scene of the large-scale social death of the old mother. I saw this scene in the mall the other day. The two boys ignored the passers-by and began to chase each other. In the daily necessities section, you are the garbage basket and I am the toilet brush, so I will do it. The mothers on the side kept shouting: "Don't run! Don't fight! Stop it! Can you stop ... "The mothers are thirsty, but the boys are still running around. I want to climb up when I meet a pillar, and I want to roll twice when I run to an empty place. The more his mother stopped him, the more trouble the boy got into. How to stop boys' bad behavior? The writer fish dad once gave a good solution: replace negative taboos with positive instructions, and finally add: "Can you do it?" This is because a boy is naturally unyielding and restless. The more you forbid him, the more you will arouse his rebellious mood. Instead, you change the words of prohibition into words of encouragement and ask him, "Can you do it?" Boys feel respect and like challenges, so they often don't refuse. Therefore, we might as well change the words to what boys like to hear, so that boys can really do as we wish. For example: "You need to keep quiet in public. Can you do it? " "I can!" "When playing games, you can't roll on the ground and you can't hit people. Can you do it? " "I can!" This will not only make boys feel the fun of the challenge, but also help them build confidence in the process of completing the task. It should be noted that after the boy makes the right behavior, parents should give it in time to enhance the boy's sense of accomplishment, thus stimulating the boy's interest in doing things. When the boy does something wrong again, parents should not worry, just remind him again and repeat it many times to help the boy shape the correct behavior.

? Boys start to understand late, can't they wait for the flowers to bloom? Let's see how Wei Shusheng, the director of education, does it. He found the boy who scored only 8 points (full mark 100) in the exam and asked, "I heard that you never attend classes?" The students are also very honest: "Teacher, I don't understand, so I won't listen." "I heard that you never do your homework?" "Well, I copied all my homework. Later, the teacher stopped correcting my homework, so I stopped copying it. " "I heard that you go home without reading?" "Teacher, I don't understand the book, so I won't read it." Looking at the students' self-abandonment, Wei Shusheng did not criticize or preach. Instead, he said positively, "Yes, look at yourself. You can still get 8 points if you don't attend classes, do your homework or read books. Doesn't this mean that we are talented? " Hearing this, the boy's eyes began to have light and the motivation to learn. Later, with his constant encouragement, the boy who was the last in the school improved from 8 points to 10 points, and passed 26 points and 36 points, and finally he was successfully admitted to the military academy.

? An educator said: In the process of a child's growth, girls need more love, while boys need more encouragement. Boys who started to be sensible late have been frustrated in their studies and feel that they just can't do it, so the only way to save them is to rescue them from the situation of giving up on themselves and encourage him constantly. When a boy's handwriting is crooked, you can pick out the best sentence to affirm him: "I find your handwriting is particularly correct." When a boy only answers the 10 question, you can say, "I found this question a little difficult, but you did it right." Even if a boy can't learn, you still have to affirm him: "I find that when you study, you have a special hard thinking." The essence of this sentence "I found ..." is to dig out the bright spots on the boy, enlarge it and give him confidence and a sense of accomplishment. With good experiences and feelings, our boys will grow up step by step.

? A parenting blogger said: "The process of raising a boy is doomed to be tortuous. On this road, boys are playful elephants and can only see the present. Parents are people riding elephants, and they can see the distance with a map in their hands. But an elephant rider should know that you can never let an elephant go far by whipping. " It is useless to criticize, abuse and complain if you want the boy to stand tall and go far. All you can do is be patient, guide, encourage, affirm and support him. Many times, one truth, another expression, boys' reaction patterns and behavior patterns will change, and the problem of parenting will be solved. Just like a sentence: children constantly define themselves in their parents' mouths, and they are constantly adjusting themselves and building themselves. Never underestimate the impact of what you say on a child's life.