I get angry very easily, how can I improve it? [Please explain in detail]

Category: Life >> Beauty/Body Shaping

Problem description:

If someone asks me the same question twice at work, I won’t realize it. My tone becomes very serious, and my mood often becomes very bad. And not only in this case, sometimes when talking to someone, if what the other person just said changes suddenly, it will also cause this kind of emotional change in me. , is unconscious. I know that it will be difficult to communicate with others, but I can't make myself less irritable. I hope experienced friends can help me~ If it works, extra points!!

Analysis:

Anger can make people nervous, quicken their heartbeat, and make them breathe quickly. In short, it is uncomfortable. So no one likes to be angry (excluding some people who pretend to be angry for a certain purpose).

People who are prone to anger generally have low self-esteem and a lot of dissatisfaction with themselves, and they always avoid restraining the expression of these aspects, consciously or unconsciously. It should be said that these are the "bombs" hidden in them, which will explode once they are "ignited" by the outside (that is, the "lure" you said). In fact, they are very painful because their weak points have been touched, and at the same time because they are unable to control themselves. The result is naturally embarrassing.

This kind of people are extroverted. They will vent their dissatisfaction in time. Of course, there will be no hidden dangers afterwards; they will not hold grudges.

There is also an introverted type. They suppress their anger and do not show it, but this does not mean that they do not care. The longer they suppress it, the stronger it becomes, the greater the hidden danger, and they will express it in other ways. Such as phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other pathological conditions; tolerant people will not hold grudges, they will internalize the blame. On the contrary, they will engrav the ridicule of others deeply in their minds, constantly torturing themselves and hating others even more.

It is impossible to avoid anger, because everyone has the right to be angry when encountering situations that hurt self-esteem and personality. This is normal.

People who are prone to anger are harmful to themselves and others. Because people's emotions are contagious to each other.

For them, we can only minimize the number of times they get angry. Because the things that cause them to be annoyed usually start in their youth. Due to my young age, I don't have a good understanding of things, which leads to wrong ideas and puts a heavy burden on myself.

As the years grow older, the concepts of youth are still unconsciously used and at the same time deeply ingrained. However, the conditioned reflex over the years prevents the person from being able to recognize the source of anger well, but only triggers it.

I was deceived by superficial phenomena. I only knew that I disliked mentioning such things, but failed to realize that such things were caused by my own misunderstanding.

In fact, as long as you realize that you are now an adult and look at things from an adult perspective, you will find that this is not the case at all. The sudden feeling of twists and turns eliminated the annoyance in my heart. After that, you will be able to face similar things in life calmly.

However, complete eradication requires time and conscious self-education and self-control.

It is best to use a close friend (those with authority are more effective) to bring out the things that make him or her prone to anger in light topics. Don’t focus on him all at once. You can talk about your own experiences. Things like this slowly brought back memories of his early years. When he can talk openly about his past experiences and vent his bad emotions, it can help him see the problem from his current perspective and make him realize his misconceptions.

Since irritability is caused by the pain caused by bad memories in the heart, we must be tolerant and help people in trouble.

If you have a bad temper, you must first learn to be tolerant.

First check whether you have the following characteristics:

(1) Swear, smash things, or even hit people when you get angry.

(2) Emotional reactions are very simple, lack a sense of humor, cannot joke, remain silent about things they are satisfied with, and often resolve things they are dissatisfied by quarreling, losing temper, etc.

(3) In the face of setbacks in life, there is only one way of psychological defense, which is to vent.

(4) Can’t keep calm even over small things.

(5) He has a hot temper and can do anything. He cannot control himself at the time and regrets it afterwards.

(6) Cannot listen to anyone’s persuasion, especially when emotional.

These are typical characteristics of an irritable person.

Anger can be controlled, and hot temper can also be changed. The key is to master the method.

(1) Situation transfer method: When anger emerges suddenly, people have five ways to deal with anger. One is to suppress the anger in their hearts and get sulky; the other is to take the anger out on themselves and carry out Self-punishment; the third is unconscious revenge and venting; the fourth is losing temper and venting anger in a very strong form; the fifth is diverting attention to offset anger. Among them, transfer is the most active treatment method. When you are angry, you tend to get angrier and angrier when you look at people and things that you don't like. At this time, you might as well use the "Thirty-Six Strategies" to quickly leave the situation that makes you angry. If you can listen to music and take a walk with friends you can talk to, you will gradually calm down.

(2) Reason control method: When you are angry, it is best to let reason take the first step. You can suggest to yourself and say silently: "Don't be angry, it's not worth getting angry", "It's stupid to get angry" , can't solve any problem." You can also give your own order when you are about to get angry: Don't get angry! Hold on for a minute! I held on for one minute, great job, hold on for three more minutes! After holding on for two minutes, I started to be able to control myself. I might as well hold on for another minute. You’ve persisted for three minutes, why don’t you persist? So, use your reason over your emotions.

(3) Evaluation postponement method: Anger comes from the evaluation of "***", which may be a look from others, a sarcasm from others, or even a misunderstanding of others. This matter made you "furious" at the time, but if you comment on it an hour, a week or even a month later, you may think that it was "not worth it" to be angry at that time.

(4) Goal sublimation method : Anger is a powerful psychological energy. If used improperly, it can hurt others and yourself. If it is sublimated, it will become a powerful driving force for career success. It is necessary to cultivate lofty life goals, change the habit of calculating gains and losses based on trivial matters at hand, and consider everything more from the overall situation and the long term. Only when a person has established lofty life ideals can he be tolerant, have greater tolerance, and not be afraid of others. Will allow one's energy to be stymied by trivial matters and hinder the pursuit of ideal career.

The following are 2 pieces of information found on the Internet. I hope it will be helpful to us, haha~

In real life, some people get angry easily, and everyone around them only knows This person has a bad temper, but rarely thinks that this person may be suffering from a disease. Traditional Chinese medicine refers to being prone to anger as "good anger", which refers to the symptoms of being impatient for no reason, easy to get angry, and unable to control oneself. It is also called "happy anger" and "irritability" and should belong to the category of disease.

According to the theory of traditional Chinese medicine: "The liver is a strong organ. It is happy and hates depression, and anger is expressed in the will." This means that the liver is a strong and impatient organ, and it likes comfortable and gentle emotions. Instead of being depressed, the main emotional manifestation is anger. Therefore, good anger is mainly related to the liver, and there are three main syndromes: liver stagnation and qi stagnation, liver fire inflammation, spleen deficiency and liver syndrome.

The good anger caused by liver stagnation and qi stagnation also manifests as symptoms such as frequent sighing, swelling and pain in the chest and hypochondrium, or string pain. The causes of liver stagnation and qi stagnation are mostly caused by depression, mental trauma, or a history of mental trauma. Good anger caused by liver stagnation and qi stagnation should first be treated through mental health methods to regulate the mind and emotions, and treatment based on the cause of the disease. In your diet, you can eat more foods that can soothe the liver and regulate qi, such as celery, chrysanthemum, tomatoes, radish, oranges, grapefruit, citrus, citron, bergamot, etc.

The good anger caused by liver-fire syndrome also manifests as symptoms such as dreaminess, red and swollen eyes, bitter mouth and thirst. The causes of excessive liver-fire syndrome are mostly caused by long-term stagnation of liver-qi, excessive smoking, drinking, or eating too much sweet, fatty, and spicy food. For good anger caused by liver-fire inflammation, in addition to quitting smoking, limiting alcohol, and avoiding sweet, fatty, and spicy foods, you should also eat more foods that can clear the liver and relieve heat, such as bitter melon, bitter vegetables, tomatoes, mung beans, mung bean sprouts, and soybean sprouts. , celery, cabbage, cabbage, daylily, rape, loofah, plums, green plums, hawthorn and citrus, etc.

The good anger caused by spleen deficiency and liver syndrome also manifests as physical fatigue, lack of food, abdominal distension, swelling and pain in both flanks, loose stools and other symptoms. The cause of spleen deficiency and liver syndrome is mostly caused by weak spleen and excessive liver qi, which affects the function of the spleen. The good anger caused by spleen deficiency and liver yang should be based on strengthening the spleen and regulating qi. In the diet, you should eat more foods that can strengthen the spleen and replenish qi, such as lentils, sorghum, barley, buckwheat, chestnuts, lotus seeds, gorgon seeds, yams, jujubes, Foods such as carrots, cabbage, pumpkin, tangerines, and oranges.

Traditional Chinese medicine believes that excessive emotional reactions can damage the body’s internal organs and cause diseases. Our country's traditional spiritual health regimen has a very good effect on overcoming bad emotions. It can calm down anger through self-regulation. However, when emotions are particularly aroused, anger should also be eliminated through methods such as off-site venting, rational dissolution, and diversion of attention. To calm the mind.

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●People with insomnia, irritability, forgetfulness, and anxiety should eat more foods rich in calcium and phosphorus. Foods rich in calcium include soybeans, milk, oranges, and oysters; foods rich in phosphorus include spinach, chestnuts, grapes, chicken, potatoes, and eggs.

●People with bad tempers, abnormal emotions, strong jealousy, and irritability should take more calcium (seafood such as shellfish, shrimp, kelp, scales, beans and milk); supplement Vitamin B (various beans, longan, dried walnuts, mushrooms, etc.).

●People who like to chatter should supplement vitamin B because their brains lack vitamin B complex. You can eat more lean animal meat, semolina, maltose, beans, etc. You can also mix milk and honey into yeast and drink it every day, three times a day. This is because yeast contains wheat germ, which is rich in vitamin B.

●People who are careless, careless, and forgetful should supplement vitamin C and vitamin A, increase the amount of fruits and vegetables in their diet, and eat less acidic foods such as meat. Foods rich in vitamin C and A include peppers, dried fish, dried bamboo shoots, stir-fried carrots, milk, red dates, snails, cabbage, etc.

●Excessive stress. When you are under strong psychological pressure, your body will consume more than 8 times the normal amount of vitamin C. Therefore, you should consume as much vitamin C-rich foods as possible, such as stir-fried cauliflower, cabbage, spinach salad, sesame seeds, fruits, etc.

●People with sensitive nerves are suitable to eat steamed fish. But add some green leafy vegetables, because vegetables have a calming effect on the nerves. You can lie down and rest before eating to relax your nervousness. You can also drink a little wine to help gastrointestinal motility.