Selected funny copywriting in stock market

1. Stock trading is the same as finding an object. I chose them carefully at first. In the end, they all became friends' introductions, and most of the endings were embarrassing cuts and chaos.

2. The essence of stock is to fabricate a person who gets something for nothing, fool a group of people who want to get something for nothing, and finally support a group of people who really get something for nothing.

3. If you jump off a building, please consciously queue up to get the number, with stocks on the left and gambling on the right. Those who both stock and gamble will take the VIP channel.

4. The stock market plummeted. Finally, someone fell down, lying in bed and asked the nurse, "Love is gone, affection is gone, friendship is gone, and money is gone." Do I really have nothing? " The nurse said affectionately, "Look at what you said, aren't you still sick!" " "

I went to the police station to report the loss of a Mercedes-Benz today. Policeman: Where did you lose it? A: In the city! Policeman: Which city? A: Stock market police: Get out ... Get out!

6. A friend said: Do you know why the stock market can't go on? Because the IPO in the first half of the year has not been completed, once the IPO in the first half of the year is completed, the stock market will go down.

7. An intern saw today's stock market and said worriedly, "It plunged today. If we continue like this, we may not have enough beds. " The chief doctor smiled and said, "No, at this rate, the rooftop is not enough."

8. A: Recently, the stock market has fallen, and the quality of sleep has seriously declined! How are you? Good, sleeping like a baby! I envy you to death. B: I slept 1 hour and woke up, then cried 1 hour, then slept 1 hour and woke up and cried 1 hour.

Nine. "When my stock returns to its original value, I will divorce you." He said simply. After listening, her heart was warm, thinking that there was no everlasting promise.

10. Looking at the stock market, I want to smash the computer, watch football and smash the TV. But today investors dare not smash computers because they have no money to buy them.

1 1. The stock market is a fair place. It can make the rich poorer and the poor poorer. It also gives the poor and the rich the same opportunity to jump off a building.

12. This year, 654.38+00,000 yuan started to stock, and it was earned in just one month.

380 thousand asked me how I earned it. I recommend stocks to people, and the limit is down. I broke my leg and the other party lost it.

Thirteen. Today, the stock market plummeted. A friend asked about the stock market. The stock friend replied: "Don't fucking mention it, it's worse than divorce. I lost half my assets, but my wife is still there. "

14. I never understood: why can a small retail investor control the whole stock market? Every time I buy it, it goes down. When I sell it, it will rise. When the market is short, it will go up wildly. When it was Man Cang, it fell wildly. Why do trillions of bankers keep staring at me for tens of thousands of dollars? What is this for?

15. Wind and rain send cows home, and blizzard welcomes bears. The stock market is already freezing. Which stock is still popular? Joe is also struggling for spring scenery, hesitating to throw it, and only God knows when the stock index will bottom out.

16. A few days ago, I advised a friend who wanted to enter the market not to speculate in stocks. Today, the stock market plummeted, and I called him for credit: "Look, my prediction was right, and now it has fallen?" He said, "What did you say? I can't hear the sound of the typhoon clearly! "

17. After the market closed today, I heard that a shareholder friend was unhappy to go home. As soon as he entered the door, the younger son called him "dad" happily. He flew into a rage: "Don't shout' health', but shout' parents (increase)'."

18. Give you some good ways to cool down: 1. I feel a little cold when I think about my salary.

2. Think about your boyfriend, and your heart is half cold;

Think about today's market, alas, it's so cool.

19. In the past, time was slow, and cars, letters and letters were slow. I have only loved one person in my life, and a thousand points is enough to fall for a year; Now time flies, 100 o'clock, the end of the day.

20. Q: Why are A-shares short and short? A: Do you dream for a long time every day or work hard for a long time?