The feeling of borrowing money

Borrowing money from others is really hard. I told my difficulties, emphasized my contributions, and recalled my friendship ~ ~ n years ago, I called my classmates to borrow money like a performance, and I still can't forget the blushing state when I was worse than dead. At the appointed time and place, I went to withdraw money, and it was my classmate's wife who delivered the money. I haven't seen my classmates since graduation. I learned on the phone that he was married. The first time I met this brother and sister, it turned out to be at the ATM. She carefully confirmed who came and checked the withdrawal amount. I looked down and answered them one by one. I still remember feeling like a thief at that time. After many years, I can still remember that her eyes crossed my face like a knife. Of course, I should thank others for their kindness and help me without fault. But it's too painful to borrow money on the face. From then on, as long as my relatives and friends lend me a helping hand, more or less, they will do their best. Because I know how they feel at the moment. Who will deliberately feel this unpleasant feeling unless they have to? Who will say these pitiful words in front of people to describe their misfortune and difficulties? I'd rather borrow money by myself tomorrow than let others open their mouths today. Because I have felt the embarrassment that my open mouth can't be closed. When people encounter difficulties, their self-esteem will be surprisingly sensitive. I will never forget my experience of hiding in a corner of the park and earning living by carving insects. Looking around trembling, there are beggars and old people shining shoes. I bowed my head and said nothing. I haven't had the courage to take out my painting supplies from my bag for a long time. ...