Humorous and funny copywriting

1. Fashion magazines are a group of people with a monthly salary of 8,000, telling a group of readers with a monthly salary of 3,000, how people with a monthly income of 30,000 spend their money. Advertising is a group of advertisers who work overtime every day to tell people who cannot afford a house that they should enjoy life like the richest man.

2. I went home with my wife at night. Suddenly three big masked men jumped out of the roadside, "You two can only leave one at a time!" I said, "Honey, run away!" I watched my wife run away without a trace. , the three people took off their masks: God, is it so difficult to play mahjong with you now?

3. Be kind to your wife. Because one day, when you are lying on the hospital bed, the person who dominates your life is not necessarily the doctor, not your buddies who spend the day and night, nor those little threesomes. Fourth, it is your wife. Only she has the right to sign "continue rescue" or "give up treatment"!

4. The wife was weighing herself and found her husband snickering beside her. The wife was very angry and yelled: Do you think I am fat? The husband put away his smile and said seriously, "Based on your weight, your height should be about 1.8 meters." So I'm not fat, but short.

5. I went to the bank to withdraw money today and said to the teller: "Withdraw one hundred". The teller said: "Not that much." I got angry at that time, and I said: "A bank as big as yours doesn't have one to withdraw RMB 100, and it's not like you need to make an appointment in advance to withdraw RMB 50,000. So, do you have any other windows?" The teller then said helplessly. One sentence: "It's because you don't have that many cards."

6. I went to a train station fast food restaurant to eat. After getting the food, I asked why the amount was so small. The waiter said that it was too much to finish, but I said that with my physique, I could finish three more portions. The waiter said you eat first and give me more when you're done. In the end, I really couldn't finish it because it tasted so bad.

7. When I am working hard outside, I always tell my parents good news but not bad news. Today I finally got good news and I couldn’t help but call home: “Dad, Mom, I’m fine. , I thought I would be sentenced to death, but I didn’t expect that I would only be sentenced to life.”

8. A woman had no choice but to marry the creditor because her father owed money. On the first night of their wedding, the woman said to the proud groom: I married you because of the money my father owed you. Don't be too proud! The next day, the woman opened her eyes, shook the sleeping groom awake, and said: How much does my father owe us? But we can't just let it go.

9. My wife took her 5-year-old son to the park. She put a portable wifi on him, and she sat on a chair and played with her mobile phone. As long as the signal was weak, the child would stay away from her...

10. I am very black and my wife is very white. I am fat and my wife is also fat. My friend teased me today: What will happen to my skin when I give birth to a baby... It must be very confusing. Me: "Do you know zebras?" Then I thought about it, and based on our size... I replied: "Do you know pandas?"

11. I went out to eat with a friend, and my friend took him with him Four year old daughter. I ordered a cucumber dipping sauce when I ate in the evening, and a buddy dipped the cucumber in the sauce and ate it. Suddenly, a friend's daughter said loudly: Mom, why does this uncle eat with shit... Her mother didn't hear her daughter's words clearly, and said calmly: He likes to eat like that...

12. I watched my mother-in-law and my wife just enter the kitchen and secretly stuff some private money to my father-in-law. My father-in-law pushed it back and said firmly: "No! It's really no need! I'm not short of money, and it's not easy for you either. Keep it for yourself!” The poster’s eyes couldn’t help but heat up at that time, it’s my father-in-law who understands how to be considerate of me! I was about to put the money back in my pocket, but at this moment, my father-in-law snatched the money away with one hand: "That thief woman came out just now and was standing behind you watching!

13. Life is like making friends Circle, just be yourself, there is no need to force others to like you, God will naturally arrange good-looking and meaningful people to like and comment for you

14. When a man is angry, it is almost like letting off steam. , it’s just a matter of time, and it’ll be fine after you blow it up and sweep the floor. When a woman is angry, it’s like adding a few points at a time. It’s not a big deal, but when the points reach 100, I’ll give you a cuckold.

15. There are few toilets in our school, and we have to queue up every time we go to the toilet.

One time I had an urgent need to urinate, and I managed to get to the front of the line alone, but someone actually stopped in front of me... I was so angry that I became anxious at that time: I jumped in line in the cafeteria to grab food. Cutting in line in the toilet, are you trying to grab shit?

16. I went to the boyfriend’s house and happened to catch up with him for dinner. His mother took me to sit down to eat. I blushed and mustered up the courage to say to my aunt: Auntie, your cooking is so delicious. I really want to eat it forever! The aunt's hand trembled obviously: Girl, this was not made by aunt, it was bought from the restaurant downstairs.

Seventeen. The son said to his father: "Dad, our school has formed a band. I want to join. The school also said that I have to bring my own instruments." The father stared at his son for a long time and handed him a chopstick. , said: "My son, our family is poor, can you try to be a conductor?"

Eighteen. My dad called and asked: Are you okay? I said: OK, what's wrong? He said: I received a text message saying that my son had been kidnapped, and I had to raise 200,000 yuan to fight him within 3 days, otherwise the vote would be rejected. I comforted my father and said: Dad, there are too many text messages from these scammers. Ignore them from now on. When did you receive them? My dad: Last month.

19. At this morning’s meeting, the leader lectured: Male employees harassing female employees is sexual harassment and violates the company’s rules. Once reported, they will be fired immediately. If a female employee harasses a male employee, it is considered a company benefit.

Twenty. When friends gather for a dinner, everyone proposes: Whoever doesn’t drink will pay the bill! So even though I hate drinking, I also picked up a glass of wine. After a few glasses of wine, I started chatting, pointing to a table of people and saying, "I'll pay for it today! Don't try to steal from me."

Twenty-one. Teacher: The title of today's composition It's "If I were the chairman." Next, everyone started writing. Xiao Ming sat motionless in his seat. "Xiao Ming, why don't you write?" "Have you ever seen any chairman write an essay by himself? Go and call my secretary." Get out".