What a mixed society needs.

Many people have achieved nothing up to now, or think they have achieved nothing. Up to now, many people still feel failed or unsuccessful. There are still many people who feel that their lives are boring, mechanical, unable to think and move. We envy every successful person in the society, the rich people around us, and every famous car that whizzes by. We often think: Shit, how can I get along so badly?

Yeah, how did I get so messed up? Why is the guy in the class who was not as good as me now so developed?

Put away your sour eyes and let me tell you how to mix society.

This article is only aimed at friends who are trying to mix the society, that is, people who work hard, have little money, have low status, have a lot of injuries, have no way out before, have no backers after, are confused about the future and lack goals.

First, make friends.

1, the basic configuration of a mixed society.

People can't be lonely for a hundred years, but they always have friends. To be a qualified civilian, as long as you obey the law and make friends with your temper. Let him go if he is willing to pay, and let him go if he is unwilling. But if you want to make a name for yourself in society, you have to make friends selectively and profitably. For the average person, there must be at least one doctor, a lawyer, a small official, a policeman, a teacher and a local ruffian in the circle of friends.

Why do I say that? In fact, these friends are basically unnecessary. Most people's circle of friends are colleagues, classmates and neighbors, because this is the only circle of friends we usually deal with, friends who drink, sing and bathe together. Without a certain purpose, who would deliberately associate with lawyers or hooligans?

Doctors, lawyers, policemen, teachers, friends who seem to be seldom used at ordinary times can save your urgency or difficulty at critical moments, and some can even save your life! Going to the hospital to see a doctor is lucky to have a doctor friend. It is a trivial matter to save the wronged slaughter fee. It is really indispensable to use the materials reasonably and contact a good doctor with excellent medical skills who knows clearly in his heart to help you see a doctor. Everyone should know the role of lawyers. When you are in trouble, he will give you strong help. Needless to say, the police often mix in the society, how can they not wet their shoes, their cars are detained and people are investigated? Basically, if you have friends from the bureau to help you do these things, you won't have much pain. For friends who have children at home in the future, the role of teachers is undoubtedly great.

Some people say that it is useless to know these ordinary doctors, teachers and policemen. For example, if you look at internal medicine, friends in otolaryngology can't help you. You want to help your son learn English, but the Chinese teacher can't use it. People who ask these questions are doomed to get along at the bottom of society. Don't these people have their own circle of friends? A friend of ENT, can't he find a friend of internal medicine? No one in the school's Chinese teacher's colleague teaches English? When you associate with these friends, you actually meet people in his circle of friends. Wouldn't it be a better opportunity for you to know more about the quasi-middle class?

Officials and hooligans I think everyone knows the benefits of having an official friend, even a grass-roots civil servant friend. On this basis, the bigger the official, the better, and correspondingly, the less chance of making friends. Many people don't understand why we should have a friend who is a gangster and a local ruffian. It's actually quite simple. Using these friends to solve many things in our daily life is much simpler and more effective, but they can't be used indefinitely, and the side effects are considerable. It is impossible to get it without spending money. Please calculate exactly how to consider the cost performance.

As for the more luxurious configuration, it is still better. For example, there are rich people in the circle of friends, officials with more than seven products, bosses, second-generation ancestors and some big ones. For example, there are Bill Gates and Obama in the circle of friends. This is not a mixed society, but a social game.

2. How to make the friends you want to make?

Nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind to it. Making friends can't make intimate friends at once, but if you design carefully, you can at least make ordinary fair-weather friends. For utilitarian friends, you can reach the realm of "fair-weather friends".

There are no secrets in making friends, only wine tables and hobbies. These two are shortcuts to making friends. After drinking a whole table of wine, at least your face is familiar. After drinking a few cups, you are not fake friends but also fake brothers. It is a good idea for others to follow his hobby. People can't live without hobbies. If you think a person has no hobbies, it means you haven't noticed. He likes to eat and drink with him; He likes singing and dancing, dancing and singing with him; He likes to pretend to be innocent and play with art, accompanying him with poems and songs. After a few times like this, I won't worry that he won't take you as a friend, at least he is a good friend.

There are two details about making friends, willingness and listening. It would be better if we could observe words and deeds. To be willing is to be willing to give up money, to make useful friends, and to be extremely stingy, so we have to continue to struggle. One more thing is listening. This is actually very important. Why do leaders like meetings so much? Because it is so cool for many people to listen to themselves, why can psychologists make friends with almost every patient? Because they can resist the impulse of patients who don't talk too much, they can create a pair of audiences with relish. In an increasingly fast-paced society, among more and more selfish people, how many people are willing to listen to you moan there? When you learn to speak less boring and listen more patiently, you will be smarter and have more and more friends.

As for how to meet friends from different industries, it's incredible, but it's really simple. Americans have done a very interesting experiment. They want to see how many layers of relationships a random ordinary person has to go through to get to know a star or a politician in the entertainment circle. Numerous experiments show that a random stranger can find this star or politician with at most eight relationships. The relationship is basically similar to that of a friend's friend's father's neighbor who knows a nephew of a star aunt. But what is certain is that everyone can find these people through layers of relationships! Stars can still be found through hard work, not to mention ordinary people from all walks of life? It's still an old saying: Nothing is difficult in the world.

3. How to weave a web with yourself as the node?

It's a pity to master so many friends' resources if they are idle or only used at critical times. Anyone who gets along well in society must make ends meet. At least on the surface, he is an able person in the eyes of ordinary people, who can do things that ordinary people can't do and find people that ordinary people can't find. Such a person is a kind of Spider-Man-good at weaving networks with himself as the node.

So how do you weave this net? To put it simply, it's a big trick to do Kun+substitute flowers for trees, to help friend B with the relationship of friend A, and then to do friend C with the relationship of friend B. It's good to say, it sounds beautiful, but it's particularly annoying to actually do it. If it is not good, it is easy to offend both sides. So most people are troublesome, so most people are civilians. It takes a lot of energy to weave such a net, but once it is formed, you will also benefit endlessly. When you bridge the gap, measure carefully, act cautiously and make more successful cases. Unconsciously, you will find that your ability to do things has exceeded your thinking ability.

PS: Never trust any rules and principles. Shan Weibao, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Jin Lu Infrastructure, once said such an argot: Never give in in the face of difficulties. Any difficulty in the world, there must be a way for you to walk through, cross and bypass. I like this sentence very much, and I have done many seemingly unsolvable problems in the face of difficulties and regulations, but I can always find ways to walk, wear and detour in the end.

4. How to maximize your own interests?

The real purpose of utilitarian friendship is to minimize investment and maximize income. Some generous friends like to help others, but when they are in trouble, they seldom ask others for help because of their face. This is completely stupid. The basic function of friends is to help each other, even to a certain extent, helping each other is a button to maintain the relationship between friends. You know a friend, you just want to help him, but you don't want him to help yourself. Do you want to be Lei Feng? In fact, if you ask more friends for help, you will feel at ease the next time your friends ask you for help, and there will be no embarrassment and embarrassment in communication. More often, friends can develop into good friends. This is a subtle psychological relationship, so make good use of it.

In another case, your friend A is in urgent need of 10,000 tons of smokeless medium by accident, and your friend B happens to sell non-medium but neither party knows it. What would you do in this situation? A buddy said it was not easy. Why don't you just introduce them? Then I have to congratulate this guy. You're already half like Wu Bai.

The correct way is to emphasize all difficulties in front of my friends, but I will try my best to help him; Emphasize all difficulties in front of B's friends, but I will do my best to help him. You play karate, do something, and have two die-hard friends by the way.

Other things, referring to the implementation, will be exposed for a long time. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze the situation and selectively maximize the benefits.

PS: The example is simple, but it is not easy to really do everything. Playing with fire and walking a tightrope can make the hierarchy go up a step, like a duck to water, and mix well.

5. How to treat friends differently?

Basically, the order is this: true friends, girlfriends, friends, utilitarian friends, ordinary friends.

A true friend is chicken soup for the soul. Everyone needs it, but not everyone can really have it. Everyone can make one or two in his life. If anyone says that I have more than a dozen sincere friends, then this friend has too many hearts.

This kind of friend talks about everything and unconditionally helps you when you are cornered. It is the first person on your mobile phone number, the person who calls him up in the middle of the night when your car breaks down, and the first person who thinks of finding a guarantor after you are caught whoring.

Best friend, I don't know, real estate boss, party secretary and so on. After you are sure that he is your friend, this is called the best. . .

Good friends are similar to best friends, especially those who can play together. Relationships are second only to real friends, and the number is very rare. This kind of friend is a friend who can lend him money, depending on the depth of the relationship.

Utilitarian friends refer to the friends mentioned above.

The range of ordinary friends is general, and acquaintances can also be called ordinary friends. From a stranger in strange bedfellows to a nodding acquaintance, anyone can be called an ordinary friend. Most of these friends can't borrow money, but they can give a small amount of money, that is, they can't get it back after lending it.

Second, the cultivation of mixed society's own quality.