25 classic funny sentences _ make you laugh.

1. At the entrance of an old building, a young man found an old man carrying a big bag and a small bag upstairs, so he took the initiative to help the old man carry everything up. Arriving at the door of the old man, the old man thanked him and said, thank you, young man. You do me a big favor. By the way, do you smoke? The young man said quickly, I smoke. But thank you. The old man said, Oh, no wonder you look so young, and you are panting when you go upstairs to shave.

2. An old gentleman with an old voice said to his students: Read after me. The sun is farther than kamu Cangshan, and the cold family is poor. A lot of crisp and messy voices read together: Hibika is far away from dusk, cold and poor. The old man said: You are mistaken. You don't care how many times I Hibika, you are only allowed to do it every day. The sun is farther than kamu Cangshan, and the cold family is poor. The setting sun is far away, the weather is cold and the house is poor.

At a class meeting, the teacher is instructing junior middle school students how to correctly understand fashion. In order to understand the students' mastery, the teacher asked a question: Students, what do you think is the most popular in society now? Students are talking noisily: some say KFC and McDonald's; Some say online games; Another Qipa said that she fell in love because adults and children said so. Finally, Xiao Ming spoke: I think the most popular thing should be a cold! Chickens, pigs and people are welcome!

4. Three mice went to the hotel to steal drinks. 1 The mouse drank French wine, but it fell down after three steps. The second mouse drank American wine, but it fell down in two steps. Finally, a mouse drank Erguotou, with a kitchen knife in one hand and shouted, Where's the cat?

5. Go to the canteen for breakfast and get a bottle of yogurt today. Look at the date of production: August 20xx 13. Me: You see, the production date is future yogurt, which made a big profit and extended the shelf life by 6 months. Until August 13, when it was first produced. Very fresh! Just let it go for a while.

6. Recently, the largest inter-provincial criminal gang of stealing and robbing electric vehicles in East China was arrested by the police. These three suspects are quite cunning. During their exile in other places, they used aliases and other people's ID cards to stay and surf the Internet. Suspect Wang Jun was renamed Cui Jinbo, suspect Xianming Zhang was renamed Wang Jun, and suspect Cui Jinbo was renamed Xianming Zhang. I was arrested for being too witty!

7. Last night, I drove my wife out shopping. Passing an urban intersection, I found a seller of stinky tofu, which was delicious, so I stopped at the roadside and bought it. Because the car stopped casually and I was afraid of being monitored, I urged the old woman selling stinky tofu to fry quickly. As a result, the old woman said flatly, What's the hurry? Are you in a hurry to get a car shock ... The car vibrates ... In a flash, passers-by next to us all seem like we ... Stop it, get on the bus with our wife and leave.

8. Boss: I am the boss in the company. Me: I believe. But at home? Boss: Of course I'm the boss. Me: Where's your wife? Boss: She is the neck. Me: Then why? Boss: Because you have to turn your head, you should listen to your neck.

9. I played QQ every day in high school. A male classmate talks to me every three days. Let me volunteer near the college entrance examination, and I didn't say anything. I didn't know that I had said the wrong name until I went to college, but it was actually the goddess of the next class. For three years, I thought I was haunted by a gay man and was afraid to fall in love. . . . .

10. Ask your husband sometime. Me: Why do you think you men like big breasts? Husband: nonsense, I have my own small one!

1 1. My husband didn't come back for dinner at work last night. Before going to bed at night, my son asked, Mom, how can you socialize? Mom: Entertainment is an activity that you don't want to go but have to go. This is called entertainment! The next morning, my son went out to school and said, mom, I went to socialize!

12. A man and a woman went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register for marriage and prepare to get a marriage certificate. The staff asked: Did you have a premarital examination? The woman smiled and said, "Well, I have checked everything.". A flat house of 140 square meters and a car of 10 W are still ok. Staff: Your sister, what I asked was, have you all checked? What's wrong with getting married? The woman said: I also had a physical examination. I have confirmed that I am pregnant! Staff:

13. I always linger for a while after the lights out in the dormitory. Once I went to wash tomatoes, suddenly there was a loud footstep outside the door. The headmaster took the school leaders to make rounds and heard the sound of the water room. I was in a hurry, so I picked up the tomato and pointed it at my nose. Principal: What class are you in? Still not sleeping? I turned around and there was blood in the dim light. I washed my nose. Oh, oh, take your time.

14. Have you found that although you are very tired after a day's work, you are still very energetic after sitting in front of the computer and playing games! Although I went to bed early the day before, I was still very tired in class! I believe I'm not the only one!

15. It was suddenly unexpectedly hot at night a while ago, and it happened that my brother and two female buddies went out to surf in KTV. High for an hour, most of them were tired and hot, and a few of them chattered nonstop. Later, a sister asked me: Do you want it? When I heard this, I was at a loss: er ... er, it's not good in public. . . Sister roared: I asked you if you want to drink watermelon juice? ! ! Damn it, you want this? ...

16. I went shopping in Kunshan today. It is crowded. I accidentally met a pregnant woman and was about to apologize. As a result, that woman kept scolding me, saying that I could afford it. Lz was on fire at that time, reply. Isn't it just one night? Fade away in that woman's stupidity.

17. In the street, a young man riding a motorcycle knocked down an old woman riding a tricycle. The young man quickly lifted the old lady up and said, I'm sorry, aunt, but my eyes are astigmatic. I saw two people riding tricycles, and I wanted to go through the middle.

18. Xiao Wang: I heard that you have been in love recently. She is a lawyer. What do you think of dating a lawyer? Xiaoming: Don't divorce, or you will leave home cleanly.

19. I once chatted with the boudoir. Me: The housing price is really expensive now. The house price is expensive, and the cemetery is more expensive. I can't afford to die, he said. Let those who can afford to die die first.

20. When I was in high school, I dripped rice in the canteen, which was called a sturdy one. I chewed it in my mouth for a long time before I took off a grain of rice. Finally, I couldn't help protesting to the chef in the canteen: I said, can your meal not be so hard? Master: Do you think everyone loves soft meals as much as you do? The man's voice was so loud that everyone looked at me askance and roared: just eat a soft meal, damn it, no one wants to treat you to a soft meal.

2 1. One afternoon, I went to a school to find a teacher and friend to do things. My friend went out temporarily, so I had to wait in their office. Teacher Li next to me caught my attention: obviously he was correcting students' papers, but there was a small mp3 player at hand, playing Buddhist music. I joked: is it affected by listening to the concert? Seeing that I am not an outsider, Mr. Li tells the truth: Listening to Buddhist music will show mercy to the examination paper, otherwise all of them will fail.

23. Listen to a taxi driver. One day, an elderly passenger, the fare was 10 yuan. The old man took out a 100, and the driver said, Grandpa, don't you have a receipt (small face value)? Grandpa said that our machine doesn't print receipts. The driver gave me some small change, some 10 yuan, and later some from 5 yuan. Grandpa looked at it and said, don't you have 50? The driver said that our machine doesn't print large bills.

24. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? It says on the Internet that egg white can protect hair. I put an egg in my hair when I take a shower. As a result, the water was too hot and turned into flowers.

25. A young couple were sitting on a rumbling train together. The train entered a long tunnel, and the carriage suddenly became dark. The girl thought that if she thought of this at this time, she blushed. As expected, the young man's lips turned up, and with a long kiss, the girl fell into the ocean of happiness. The sun shines in again, and the girl still blushes and whispers to her boyfriend: hate, it's so hard. The boyfriend froze. What happened? What have I done? The girl exclaimed, wasn't it you who kissed me just now?

Funny is to make you laugh.

You are cool. You drink water in the reservoir, sleep in the ancient tomb, have a waterfall in your mouth, and your limbs are like sleepers. You think you are The Story Of Diu Sim Lu Bu, but you are actually a native of Antarctica.

Riddle: Wedding night. Guess the five names of Water Margin ... Answer: Lin Chong, Shi Jin, Song Jiang, Ruan Xiaoer and Wu Yong.

Your underwear is almost the same as bin Laden's, and the American army has been eyeing you. For safety, please take off your clothes immediately and run naked to the mall to buy clothes!

First-class beauty across the ocean, second-class beauty in Shenzhen and Zhuhai, third-class beauty in Shanghai, fourth-class beauty waiting in the country, and fifth-class beauty sent to reform-through-labor camp!

A baby smiled at birth. Everyone wants to know why the other children are crying, but he is laughing. So the baby opened his hand with a pill in his hand and said, you want to fuck me! No way!

A doctor has been very careless and once wrote "anal speech" in his medical record. The chief physician was very angry when he found out and criticized "nonsense" in the bottom.

The first part: the person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Horizontal criticism: Life is hard.

Love is music, first love is light music, passionate love is rock music, marriage is pop music and divorce is pop music.

Dressed in a hairless Caesar, holding a wireless phone, sitting alone in Santana, people call me the boss of the Beggars' Sect.

One cup and two cups stride, three cups and four cups hold the wall, five cups and six cups hold the wall. If I don't leave, my sister will hug me after drinking a catty!

Campus version of Li Qingzhao's words: I drank too much last night, strayed into the depths of the playground, vomited, vomited, woke up countless men and women, and quickly searched for clothes and pants.

A 20-year-old man is a futures, a 30-year-old man is a hot commodity, a 40-year-old man is a spot, and a 50-year-old man is a jumper. Treasure your youth!

A thunder woke Bush up in the middle of the night and shouted, "Quick, turn on the light!" " The bodyguard lit the candle tacitly. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, Bush hissed, "I'm all over Afghanistan."

Hello, I am honored to inform you that your mobile phone number won the first prize in the prize-winning network access activity in our city. The bonus is 5 million yuan. Please take a pistol to any bank to collect it. The password is "Don't move".

Handsome boy, I'm eighteen or nineteen this year and I haven't found a girlfriend yet. People go to the streets hand in hand, and I hold hands with my left hand!

There are many fish in the sea. If you want to find it, don't find it at work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

Look at the pig opposite, look at it, look at it! Don't stare at your mobile phone in a daze. You look so strange! ? Hahaha! !

Make you laugh. Tell me something interesting.

1, we agreed not to make me cry, but you smoked me with fucking onions.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

I can't miss myself, I can't take care of myself, I can't take care of myself, I can't take my own results, I can't give myself happiness.

The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for comes, followed by the wolf!

5. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

Titanic told me that I would rather eat instant noodles at home than spend that spare money on a romantic cruise.

7. I feel like two pigs, because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

8. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

9. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

10, we have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I hope she treats gold as dung.

1 1. Besides teeth, there is love.

12, which is gold, will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

13, if anyone bothers me, I will change my avatar to his photo, often online and offline! Curse him

14, I just eat and lose weight every day, and you still say I have no perseverance?

15, if class is a hypnotic, surfing the Internet is a refreshing agent.

16, each of us is a dreamer. When dreams disappear, we will miss home.

17, if a person is not serious, even a headache is partial.

18, keep the egg fixed in the case of considerable egg pain!

19, the function of the school is to do whatever you want and not let you do anything.

20. There are a lot of herbs in the world, so why look for them online? Small quantity and poor quality.

2 1. Men are like Bluetooth. He was in touch when you were there. But as soon as you walk away, he goes to find other peripherals! !

Women are like wi-fi. They can see all the devices they can connect, but they will choose the best one!

22. Women's fears: First, they are afraid of being a sophomore and having a big waist; third, they are afraid of not having pocket money; fourth, they are afraid that their clothes are out of date; fifth, they are afraid that their children will not go home in bars; and finally, they are afraid that their husbands will be too extravagant.

23. Love without trust is like a cell phone without a signal, so you can only play games.

24. Love is like socks. The more unpleasant socks look, the more likely they are to stay with you forever. The more beautiful socks they like, the less socks they often have.

25. When you lose love, you gain experience; When you get love, you will lose yourself.

26. Women want to be men's treasures, and men want to be women's mascots.

27, what is a secret love, that is, like but dare not approach; What is love, that is, there are beautiful women next to you but turn a blind eye; What is lovelorn? It was a face full of tears and a runny nose.

28. If you can't be a bad guy, be a good guy who tickles the bad guy.

29. Your advantage is that it is useless at critical times.

30. Promise Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of my motherland again. I can pinch flowers and bones.

Excerpts from sentences about laughter _ sentences about laughter

You are the only one who can make me laugh one second and cry the next. I am a child who is easily sad. I write sad sentences every day, but you don't know that your candy can make me laugh, and you even give me a candy!

When the spring breeze is full, the whole world laughs before you. When you are sad and degenerate, only words can recognize you as a friend in the dead of night. ......

If you can make a girl laugh, you already have her-Marilyn Monroe.

Happiness is having someone around you who can make you laugh.

I want to be with you,

Have classes together and finish homework without tails together. I want to cry with you when I am sad, and I want to laugh unscrupulously when I am happy. I want to discuss my favorite stars and the most outrageous gossip with you. I want to be with you, swearing without warning before the small exam and celebrating happily before the unprecedented good results. Want to be with you, fidgety in rebellious period, laughing wildly in adolescence. I want to be with you, be sentimental at first love and sing sad songs when I am lovelorn. While everyone was still immersed in the puzzle given by Cai Kangyong, Bo Huang had already begun to deal with it. He began to laugh, which made the scene less embarrassing. Then, he calmly and calmly continued what Zheng Yuling had just said and smiled at Cai Kangyong: Actually, you are not fighting alone. I just saw a horse with you. For so long, I have only seen people riding horses, but I have never seen anyone riding horses.

The star audience was stunned for a second, and then burst into deafening laughter and applause. Andy Lau, Nick Cheung and Carina Lau, who just looked sympathetic to Bo Huang, couldn't help laughing. Andy Lau, in particular, looked around while laughing, as if eager to let everyone know how happy he was. Even Cai Kangyong himself clapped his hands with a smile. -Liu Ruijiang's "Huang Bo Yan Youdao" I always thought that you can live happily by avoiding pain, but the more you don't give your heart to others, the more you avoid anything that may bring pain, the more numb you are, and you can't be sad, but you can't laugh. You will be numb, you will lose your feeling and the ability to cry. There will always be happiness after pain, so there is no need to doubt others so much. Bold love and hate. You may get hurt, suffer and cry at night, but it's better than locking your heart and living your life without crying or laughing.

Sometimes I want to laugh, but there is no one around.

How much do you miss him and how much do you want to see him? Maybe only when Lu Han is by your side will you really laugh.

Even if Lu Han doesn't return, it doesn't matter, Lu Han. Please contact him more when you are free. Little fool, do you care about yourself the most? When you are happy,

I feel a little scared, full of joy but unable to laugh, moved by sadness but no longer shed tears. What makes me unable to believe in pure happiness? What makes me wander on the road, calmly disgusted with the melancholy in my bones? Is it unconscious pessimism that puts us in a dilemma? Today, I still often go to class alone, go to the library, and go to the playground to listen to songs and run. But I often take photos with my friends under the flower tree, watch movies and drink plum wine on weekends. We laughed like long-lost friends. -curly Wei' an "In college, loneliness is a normal state."

Every time I see them laughing or excited because of such a simple and ordinary thing, I am so moved why my heart is so calm. I have to see a lot of things before I can.

In the golden sunshine, Tan Han's black eyes looked at me quietly, and her beautiful lips slightly tilted. He is so taciturn that even if he smiles occasionally, it is only a shallow smile. He is like a man with many secrets, so he often restrains himself, unable to laugh or feel sad. But at this moment, his eyes are clearer than the ginkgo leaves in autumn, and his smile is simple but unforgettable. At this moment, all the top designs of the whole luxurious and fashionable shop are eclipsed by Tan Han's shallow smile. I just gave him two ties at random, and it was not until a long time later that I realized that Tan Han asked me how I felt. -Luo Qing fans "The other side of the starlight"

If you are having an affair with another woman, I will also have an affair with another man. If you laugh at other women, I will care too much about you. I have more waves than you. Anyway, there will be plenty of time for us to torture each other slowly.

Sometimes I can play a clown to make everyone laugh, but I am also afraid that you will treat me as a real clown!

I hope to be the one who makes you laugh.

Open the old diary and find that I have worked hard for a person, wept bitterly for a person, stayed up all night for a person, hesitated for a person, laughed for a person, worked hard for a person, waited for a person, promised for a person and embarrassed for a person.

Now, I will still work hard, I will still cry occasionally, I will still stay up all night occasionally, I will still hesitate occasionally, I will still be silly occasionally, I will still laugh, I will still work hard, I will still wait alone, I will still be flustered occasionally, I will still do something, I will still have some feelings, but for those who are remembered by some people, no matter what happens, I will not fade away from the old days. No matter what you have to face, no matter what you have to bear, life will go on, and the road ahead will still go ... The real courage is that you can still laugh and stride forward confidently and easily in the face of these heavy sorrows ...

Laugh on a sunny day.

I don't want a prince. As long as I belong to my Huai Yu, I can laugh on sunny days and make noise in the free air.

Shallow joy and deep love, companionship is the longest confession.

Silent happiness, memories are the warmest waiting. On sunny days, blowing breeze, laughing heartily. Laugh in a boat in a light year. Where the dream begins, there are you and me! Why is your face still stiff after reading so many jokes, but you just can't laugh?

Although the corners of my mouth occasionally rise, I immediately recovered my cold face after a minute or two ... (-)/Summary: People with high laughter should cherish every laugh (-) v When I wake up every day, when I am surrounded by sadness, self-pity and failure, I fight it like this:

When I am depressed, I sing loudly. When I am sad, I will laugh heartily. When I was ill, I worked harder. When I am afraid, I go forward bravely. When I feel inferior, I wear new clothes. I raise my voice when I am unhappy. When I am down and out, I want to be rich in the future. When I feel overwhelmed, I will look back on my past successes. When I am ashamed of myself, I will think about my goal. In short, today I will learn to control my emotions. -Og Mandino "The Greatest Salesman in the World" Standing in the crowd, I am unremarkable, an ordinary and ordinary me;

Living in the world, I don't play with my heart, a simple and clear me. Even if I am plain-looking, I won't please people who don't like me. I only smile in front of people who like me; Even if I am poor, I will not curry favor with people who look down on me. I just want people who value me to be proud of me. I don't want to pretend to wear a mask, so I live too tired; Red dust, I don't want to wear a decorative coat, so I am miserable. People who know you don't need to explain, and people who don't know you don't need to explain; People who know you will not give up, and those who don't know you will leave sooner or later. Being yourself wholeheartedly, even if it is not perfect, is the most beautiful. I like to laugh when I am happy, even if I lose my image; I like to cry when I am sad, even if I lose face. To be a man, what you want is the true appearance! Accustomed to being straight, but not learning to be smooth; I'm used to doing things wholeheartedly, but I can't fool you-the white melody "Famous Sentences of Brother Heng" sometimes makes me feel very unhappy, but I still smile.

I hope a group of old friends can sit down, have a glass of old wine, tell the past, tease each other, laugh together, lament the youth and ignorance of that year, and prove that we once had youth.

There is a girl with a ponytail in everyone's youth.

At that time, I used to walk on campus for one person. I would study hard for one person, I would laugh, and I would be silly to pay for it. It's always puzzling to think of the past now. At the beginning, the girl had married a woman, and the campus had already been demolished. It's no use reading, but paying will only take advantage. Only that smile is still there, but my mood has changed. Cherish your little luck, smile at different days, be happy for the people around you, and laugh at what you haven't missed. This is our 17-year-old sky, where you can be bohemian and daydream boldly. You can fight for your dreams, and you can live without tears and regrets.

Want to see you smile.

I want to play a joke on you. One second I hold you in my arms, and the next I blush and turn around. I'm not afraid of you crying, because you are my pride. My eyes are chasing you, and my heart is ready. I take you to see the wasteland. I always laugh on sunny days and make trouble in free air. Do you know that the only thing I want is that the world is still so small? I will accompany you to the ends of the earth, stop looking for it and grow old in a carefree corner. You know, my heart is beating with you-