The parents were cruel and forced their children to sleep in separate rooms. The parents opened the door the next day and burst into tears.

Key Points

Sleeping in separate beds should not be too early or too late.

Most parents always hope that their children will want to be independent, thinking that sleeping in separate beds is enough, but they never thought that sleeping in separate beds would be so difficult.

The mother of an almost 3-year-old child said that she wanted her son to be independent, so she started trying to sleep in a separate bed with him. What she thought was a good intention turned out to be malicious.

On the first night, when the couple was about to turn off the lights and lie down, their son came over and knocked on the door every now and then. Either he said that his toy Superman was in his mother's room, or he saw a little cockroach crawling in. Mom's room... Dad said to the door, go to bed quickly. Don't think that you are just trying to fool me with your little thoughts. If you don't go back, you will be spanked. Then I didn't hear my son's voice, he probably went back to his room.

Early the next morning, when I opened the door, I saw my son curled up at the door of his parents’ room, sleeping soundly. It turned out that he had dragged a small mat, a small pillow, and a small quilt from the room in the middle of the night... ...The mother burst into tears immediately, and the father's eyes were wet. Are the parents too cruel, or the child is too smart? The bed separation plan that started almost half a week ended in failure!

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Why should you sleep in a separate bed with your baby?

? Sleeping in separate beds makes babies more independent

A mother said that her daughter is 5 years old this year, but her daughter has never wanted to sleep by herself and always has to sleep with her parents. Sleeping together, she always said that she was afraid of the big bad wolf when she slept alone. It turned out that her colleague had been sleeping with her since the child was born.

Parents who sleep with their children for a long time can easily cause their children to become too dependent. Many children are afraid to sleep alone, and they cannot even be separated until they are in the middle and upper grades of elementary school. Some parents think this is a small thing and there is no need to take it too seriously. In fact, children's memories of childhood are accumulated through small things. For children, what happens between the ages of 1 and 3 has a great impact on their brain development. Let your child sleep by himself, face the darkness alone, and learn to deal with negative emotions such as fear and loss on his own, which can make him independent in all aspects.

? Babies who share a bed with adults are prone to inhaling waste gas

Many parents like to let their children sleep among adults. This is actually the place with the worst air. A large amount of oxygen is absorbed by the father. The mother takes it away, but the exhaled carbon dioxide and other waste gases are recycled by the baby. The baby may be in a small environment with insufficient oxygen supply and lingering carbon dioxide all night long. Moreover, the crowded space is not conducive to the child's body stretching during sleep. Sleep is essential for children's growth and development, and fresh air helps the brain and body grow and develop.

In addition, parents or babies will turn over several times during the night. Sleeping in the same bed will definitely have an impact, and the children may even be in danger of being crushed by adults.

Sleeping in separate beds is not a question of whether it should be done, but sooner or later.

? Long-term sleeping in the same bed is likely to be detrimental to the growth of children

Many mothers complain that their children are seven years old, but they still do not want to sleep alone. Parents are very helpless about this.

Some parents compromise blindly and insist on sleeping with their children, which is actually very detrimental to the growth of their children. First, it is easy for the children to lose the ability to interact with others. Second, it has a negative impact on the sexual and psychological development of the children. .

Children can tell whether they are a boy or a girl when they are about 3 years old. At this time, they have their initial gender awareness and are at an important stage of psychological development. If you sleep in the same bed with your parents for a long time, it may develop an Oedipus or Electra complex, leading to a lack of self-love, self-discipline, and even sexual identity disorder in the child in the future.

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At what age is it best to sleep in separate beds?

Generally speaking, parents can slowly try to sleep in separate beds with their children after the child is 3 years old. It is more appropriate to complete this process before the child is 5 years old. However, if the child has not slept in separate rooms after entering elementary school, there will be some problems. Night.

01. The impact of sleeping in separate rooms too early on children

If children sleep separately from their parents when they are too young, they will feel insecure and may feel abandoned by their mothers. In addition, babies under 3 years old have no ability to survive independently and will be scared to sleep without their parents, which will affect the baby's personality and communication skills.

"There is no standard answer to when to sleep in separate rooms with your children, but it is not good to be too early or too late." At least wait until the child is 3 years old before considering sleeping in separate rooms. Sleeping in a separate room with parents when a child is too young can harm the child's sense of security. If a child is separated from his mother before the age of 3, the child may think that his mother is gone or that he has been abandoned by his mother, which will hurt his soul.

For children under 3 years old, since they have no ability to survive independently, it is a very scary thing to be without their mother. When the children grow up, they may lack self-confidence and security, be suspicious, Issues such as lack of ability to trust others.

"Why do some children have a favorite thing before they are 3 years old, such as a doll or a towel, and they must hold it when they go to bed every night?" This is because children of this age have a favorite thing. A complete image of the mother has not yet been formed in the mind, so in the child's subconscious, this doll or towel is a symbol of the mother. Sleeping with it can ensure that the mother will not leave. So, even if it's old and dirty, it's hard to take it away from your child. Therefore, it is very scary for children under the age of 3 to sleep in separate rooms with their parents.

02. Sleeping in a separate room with your child too late may cause your child to suffer from mental illness?

"Similarly, if you sleep in a separate room with your children too late, the children may suffer from certain mental illnesses or psychological problems as adults." For example, various anxiety disorders or neuroses, personality disorders, and adaptation problems may occur. Sexual disorders, psychosexual disorders, interpersonal difficulties, etc.

Because 4-6 years old is the sexual budding period, careful parents will find that children’s sexual behaviors are relatively active during this period, such as touching genitals, clamping thighs, etc. Children begin to realize the sexual relations between men and women. Differences, if you sleep in a separate room with your parents too late, it will have an impact on the child's mental health. There was a child who did not sleep in a separate room with his parents until he was 10 years old, which resulted in the child exhibiting strange behaviors, such as often secretly soiling his sister's underwear.

Actually

There is no standard answer to when to sleep in separate rooms with your children

But it is not good to be too early or too late

So what should we do?

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Cui Yutao’s suggestions for babies to sleep in separate beds

? It is recommended that newborns sleep with their parents

Expert: Newborns should sleep in separate beds The world lacks security and needs more parental care. It is recommended to sleep with parents.

? Around 1 year old, babies still need to sleep with their parents

Experts: Babies around 1 year old may not sleep well at night, take night feeds, get sick, etc. It is recommended that they still sleep with their parents. Sleeping with parents.

? At 2-3 years old, you can appropriately try to let your child sleep alone

Experts: This stage can be guided according to the child's mental development and acceptance level, and cannot be forced.

? It is best to let children sleep alone when they are 4-5 years old

Experts: 4-5 years old is a critical moment for children to form independent thoughts. In order to cultivate children's independence, it is best to recommend Let your child sleep alone.

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6 tips for sleeping in separate rooms with your children

1. Start by sharing beds instead of rooms

Daily habits Children who sleep in the same bed with their mother will feel insecure and prone to fear if they are left to sleep alone too hastily. Mothers can use separate beds instead of separate rooms at the beginning to allow the children to slowly adapt and transition.

2. When children are divided into rooms, adults should not lock the door.

If conditions permit, the mother can open the door when sleeping to keep the child within her sight so that she can observe the child at any time. situation. Even if this is not possible, mothers should not lock the door when sleeping, so that the child can come in at any time if he is afraid in the middle of the night, so that the child can sleep more peacefully.

3. Place familiar toys and bedding on the bed.

Letting children sleep alone in a new room all of a sudden may make them unfamiliar and uneasy. Mothers can put the toys and bedding that their children usually play with. Place toys in the room and put the bedding that the child usually uses. The company of familiar small things can eliminate loneliness and make it easier for the child to fall asleep.

4. Accompany the child to sleep and tell stories in the room before going to bed

Before the mother goes to bed, it is best to accompany the child in the room, tell the child stories, play small games, and talk to the child. Whispering to make the children feel that even if they separate rooms, their mother is still the mother who loves them, and they are still the children who are loved, it will be easier for them to accept the fact that they sleep separately from their mother.

5. Fixed bedtime

Fix the time when children go to bed, so that children can develop a regular schedule and make it easier for children to fall asleep. Remember to pee before going to bed to avoid waking up in the middle of the night and increasing fear. Don't beat or scold your children before going to bed, and don't let them watch too intense TV or games. Keep a calm mood and your children will sleep better.

6. Make a small agreement with the child

Regarding sleeping in separate rooms, mothers can make an agreement with their children in advance. For example, when the children are sick or sad, they can come back and sleep with their mothers. , we must abide by this rule at ordinary times, and no fouls are allowed unless there are special circumstances. Otherwise, if the mother repeatedly fouls because of her soft heart, it will lead to the consequence that the more points she gets, the harder it will be to break up the points.

For parents, the biggest obstacle to sleeping in separate beds with their children is that they are worried about their children catching cold, being frightened, falling out of bed, etc.

Moreover, it is not so convenient to take care of the baby at night if you put the baby in the crib. You have to carry the baby over and over during feeding, which is quite troublesome.

Many mothers actually don’t want to separate from their babies prematurely. After all, they only have a few years to get close to their babies. If you are three or four years old, you would really be reluctant to share a bed with your child. But for the sake of your children, don’t be reluctant to sleep in separate beds with them. Children always grow up in separations, so sharing beds and rooms is not just “sleeping separately”. "So simple, it is a growing experience for children, and parents must take it seriously!

I hope every child can become a brave and healthy child!