What should I do for three years of filial piety?

After a person dies, the whole family mourns and moves the deceased into the coffin bed facing the door in the main room. Some are made of ready-made wooden beds, some are made of door panels or reed foils on benches, and some are made of adobe temporarily and covered with a sheet or mattress. The deceased's face was covered with yellow paper, and his mouth contained copper coins (including pearls). In front of the coffin bed, a table is offered, and a "corpse lamp" is put to prevent dogs and cats from coming in. A memorial tablet is set up for burning incense, and a bowl of small rice is provided with a pair of bamboo chopsticks, which is called "inverted rice". Children take turns guarding, which is called "wake". Family neighbors help with the funeral, send obituaries, tell relatives, and the person who helps the mourners is called "Da Zong". At the same time, three times a day before breakfast, lunch and dinner, I went to the Earth Temple to "send slurry water". The slurry water was mostly mixed with raw water, flour and millet and put in pots. Some pots only contained clear water, which was also called slurry water. Tie up paper carts and horses, and make "dog-beating cakes" and "dog-beating sticks" with black noodles, which means that the journey to the West is long and there are evil dogs in the way. Once you meet evil dogs, you can beat them with sticks, and at the same time throw the dog-beating cakes out to feed the dogs, so as to get away. After that, it was "showing the way". The eldest son of the deceased stood on the bench, holding a pole in his hand, and called the name of the deceased with his face facing west. Later, he said, "Go to the western road and worship the Buddha" and shouted four times, burning paper cars and horses and sending the deceased to the west. ?

Mourning

Relatives and friends come to mourn according to the date set in the obituary before the tomb is opened for burial. In the courtyard, there is a lingpeng, a memorial tablet, and the dutiful son, dressed in linen and plain clothes, kowtows to relatives and neighbors who come to mourn. Generally, the neighbors only pay the funeral instrument (cash), which is called "paying human feelings". The loved ones pay the libation ceremony first, then put the sacrifice in front of the coffin, bow down to the coffin, offer 3 cups of libation (4 cups in Zhangdian), and cry loudly, which is called "offering sacrifices".

funeral

when the deceased enters the coffin, it is called "funeral". Coffins, commonly known as "longevity materials", are made of poplar, willow, elm, locust and other miscellaneous wood, while well-off people use cypress. Some poor families only have a thin coffin and a reed mat. Before entering the coffin, the incense table and mattress are laid in the coffin, and then the relatives of the children dip the cotton wool in wine to clean the face of the deceased, and then enter the coffin. Put incense table, plant ash and the things loved by the deceased beside him, cover the coffin and seal it, and the great funeral will be completed. Since then, burn paper and cry three times a day. ?

Funerals

Generally, funerals are held on the third or fifth day after the death of a person, and some wealthy families also have funerals on the seventh, ninth or even forty-ninth day. During this period, some monks and Taoists were invited to set up an altar to do Buddhist work, and chanting sutras turned over. If the spouse of the deceased has a deceased person, the mourner must greet his spirit on the night before the funeral.

Funeral and interment generally includes the following procedures: burning kang (also called warm tomb), awakening, funeral, road sacrifice, and burial into a grave. Before waking up (Linzi is the day before waking up), relatives of the deceased (mostly widows) usually go to the grave to ignite and burn, which is called "burning kang". Boshan and Linzi usually set fire to fry cakes in the grave, which is called "warm tomb". Before waking up, Linzi also had the habit of eating dumplings in the Lingpeng, which was called "having a reunion dinner" and filling the "food offering jar" while eating. After that, the rice bowl in front of Ling was knocked out, and more than ten people carried the coffin to raise the spirit, and the eldest son carried the coffin and shined the tile. At this time, family and friends cried with Ling, and stopped outside the door to offer a drink. At the funeral, the eldest son or grandson plays the white banner, and the nephew plays the flower banner first to lead the coffin to the burial ground. The female filial family usually sits and cries behind the coffin and does not follow it to the burial ground. The funeral procession should stop at the head of the village (street) for road sacrifice. Set tables and chairs and offerings in front of the spirit, and relatives and friends pay homage to them one by one. After the coffin arrived at the cemetery, the paper was first burned (residents in Linzi had to put the "food donation jar" into the grave), and after the filial family visited the grave, they were buried and filled with soil, and a building (or a straw) was inserted at the top of the grave, so the new grave was built. When returning, each filial family shared a chopped steamed bread, tofu and other things. ?

thank guests

at dawn the day after the funeral, the children and grandchildren of the deceased wear mourning clothes to thank the mourners. Generally, they just shout "thank guests" in front of the door. When the owner hears it, he can echo "hear" to show that he has known the ceremony.

Sacrifice

On the third day after the funeral (or the second day), the relatives of the deceased went to the cemetery to offer sacrifices in mourning clothes, walked around the grave for three times, scattered grain and added new soil, which was called the "round grave". The thirty-fifth day after death is called "May 7th" and the one hundred days is called "Hundred Days". At that time, all the filial families will go to the graves to offer sacrifices. Usually, when the graves are made on May 7th and Hundred Days, the former is advanced and the latter is postponed, which is called "a hundred days is long and the May 7th is short". Zhoucun usually goes to the grave in the middle of the night to offer sacrifices. When visiting the "May 7th Tomb", the relatives of the deceased should bring paper bundles and offerings such as Jinyinshan, cash cow and cornucopia for sacrifice.

holding clothes

is also called eating clothes. After burial, the families of the deceased should wear mourning clothes, which is called "holding clothes". The service period is 3 years for children and 1 year for grandnephew. During this period, children generally don't have a haircut and don't care about the world.

In 193s and 194s, some village communities generally set up "old people's clubs" (also called "hat-mourning clubs" and "shelf clubs"). Anyone who has an elderly family can participate. In case of funeral, members will raise funds to help each other, and those who have the money will pay, but those who have no money will go out. The organization will be dissolved after a funeral for all the members. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the old people's organizations will soon disappear. The old funerals have also been gradually reformed, and things with feudal superstitions such as setting an altar to cross over, sending slurry and guiding the way have been basically eradicated. In the event of a funeral, only the deceased is dressed in a shroud, put into a coffin, and relatives and friends send a funeral instrument, kowtow to worship, send it to a graveyard for burial, and hold a mourning suit. After the 196s, except for the Hui people, cremation system was implemented in urban and rural areas, and urn storage rooms were established. Relatives wore black gauze or filial piety, and neighbors sent flowers and wreaths to mourn. However, in rural areas, many families still buried their ashes. The "Three Days", "May 7th" and "Hundred Days" festivals are still kept to show their grief.

Funeral

1. When the old man is dying, his children and other immediate family members guard him and listen to his last words until his relatives die, which is called "death" in customs. It is a great event to die for the elderly. Being able to die for the elderly shows that children have done their last filial piety. Failure to die for the elderly often becomes a great regret in people's lives. Whether children die or not, whether all children come to die, is also a criterion for judging whether the elderly are blessed. When the old man is in danger, his family will move him from the bedroom to the temporary bed with a plank in the main hall. The plank bed is made of temporarily removed door panels in poor places. Because folklore thinks that if a person dies in bed. The soul will be hung in the bed and cannot cross over. In some places, whether the old man dies on the trampoline is regarded as the standard of whether the children have done their filial piety. The anger that the old man swallows in bed will be criticized by the children. Although the family members will not move the deceased to the main court, they will also move them to the ground in front of the bed. If there are elders above the deceased, they will not move into the main court when they die. In many places, after death, family members will burn paper money, which is called "burning paper upside down", and some places are more clear, which is called "burning gas paper". In addition, firecrackers were set off to show that the deceased had died in the west, and to report his funeral to his neighbors. After death, family members should wail around the deceased, and when they are not dead, they are forbidden to cry.

2. After reporting the death of an old man, family members should send a funeral post to their relatives and friends as soon as possible, or report the death at home. For relatives and friends far away, they should tell them the date of burial. Filial mourning sons should wear mourning clothes and Dai Xiao hats. When they arrive at other people's homes, they can't enter the door. When someone comes to meet them, they should kowtow regardless of age.

3. Before entering the coffin, the deceased should be given plastic surgery, such as shaving, changing the body, wearing a shroud, etc., and then cover his face with white silk (paper money is also used in some places). Folklore believes that you can't wear leather pants for the dead, otherwise the dead will be reincarnated as beasts; When dressing the dead, don't drop tears on the dead, or you won't see the dead in your dreams. Some places require a wooden comb and a mirror for the dead and old. Within 24 hours after the death of the deceased, it is necessary to choose a good time by a special person to officially move the body into the coffin. When entering the coffin, the deceased always faces his head inward and his feet outward.

4. During the period from the death of the old man to the official coffin, the old man who guards the dead shop should take turns to guard the side of the dead shop day and night to show filial piety, which is called "guarding the shop". After the deceased enters the coffin, the family guards and sleeps beside the coffin, which is called "wake" or "trapped coffin".

5. Because you want to choose auspicious days to bury the dead, you may have to stop at home, which is called "putting the coffin" or "stopping the coffin". The custom of "putting coffins aside" was common in ancient times, usually for seven days, and some even put coffins aside for more than ten days or months, but it is not common today, that is, putting coffins aside for a short time.

6. Mourning means that the descendants of the deceased's family have been in mourning since the death of the deceased. Men don't wear gorgeous clothes, but wear sandals (which is not common now); Women have to take off their ornaments and colorful clothes. Men and women wear mourning clothes and teaching hats according to their relationship with the deceased. During the mourning period (usually January or 1 days), the dutiful son can't have a haircut, share a room, meet relatives and friends, attend banquets, enter temples, etc. Especially before burial, these customs must be strictly observed, otherwise it will be unlucky.

7. condolence is an important part of funeral customs, and the way of condolence varies from place to place. When mourning, the relationship with the deceased is different, and the manners and methods of mourning are also different. After receiving the message, the dead children should first cry and mourn, then ask the cause of death and make every effort to go on the road as soon as possible. When you come home, you should "cry at your hometown", and some married daughters even cry all the way. When you get home, you should kneel before the spirit and cry until someone comforts you. Friends and relatives, although not as sad as the dutiful son, should try to be more sad. When relatives and friends come to mourn, the dutiful son should defend the motherland and accompany him. Relatives and friends who are close to each other usually mourn before the spirit until someone comforts them. If you are not close relatives and friends, you can burn some paper money before the spirit. When relatives and friends go to condolence, they usually bring gifts or cash gifts. The gift money is sealed with yellow and blue signs, and the blue sign in the middle is written with "Sacrifice × Yuan". The words "to pay tribute to × Yuan". Gifts include plaques, couplets, banners, incense sticks, paper money, etc.

8. Picking up three and picking up three is also called "welcoming three" and "sending three". Folklore believes that after a person dies for three days, his soul will officially go to the underworld, or be greeted by gods, buddhas or messengers of gods and buddhas. Not everyone can go to heaven after death, but if the soul of the deceased leaves three days after his death, he can ask the monks to recite the scriptures or set fire to save the evil spirits, so that the deceased can redeem himself and accumulate virtue and enter heaven. Compared with god, it is to welcome the souls of the dead into heaven; Relative to the relatives and friends of the deceased, it is to bid farewell to the soul of the deceased into heaven. Therefore, this ceremony is called "Welcome to San" or "Send San". Send three, to tie some horses and chariots with paper, for the dead on the road. Burning the flame is the most important custom in the third middle school. It is said that the flame mouth is a hungry ghost, suffering in hell. People hold ceremonies and put three treasures, namely, Buddha, Dharma and Monk, so that hungry ghosts can be rescued and freed from their suffering. There is a Buddhist "Yoga Flame Mouth" in the flame mouth, which is more commonly used. There is also Taoism's "The Flame Mouth of the Tank". In funeral etiquette, there are also Dojo practitioners. Its function is similar to that of a flaming mouth, and this kind of Dojo is often done by monks and Taoists together.

9. Funeral is also called "going out of the mountain". When going to a funeral, please ask Mr. Yin and Yang to choose an auspicious day, which is called "opening a list of disasters". Before the funeral, you should say goodbye. First, put a "stuffed food jar", put the food for the last memorial in a porcelain jar, hold it by the eldest daughter-in-law at the funeral, and finally bury it in front of the coffin. Then there is "sweeping materials", that is, the head of the coffin is lifted, the dutiful son puts some copper coins under the coffin, and then sweeps the floating soil on the lid of the coffin with a new broom and dustpan, and pours it under the kang mat, which means "taking money to get an official position". The funeral procedure is as follows: firstly, turn the coffin, move it out of the door, then lift the coffin head, prepare the mouth for sacrifice, and the ritual students will preside over the ceremony, bow down at the funeral. After reading the memorial, the ritual students will guide the filial piety to "spin the coffin", and after circling the coffin three times, tie the coffin with ropes and cover it. The coffin is about to start, and the funeral procession should be ready. Generally, the eldest son plays the banner in front, the second son holds the spirit tablet, the filial families below the second son hold the "mourning stick" wrapped in white paper, and the eldest daughter-in-law holds the "stuffing food jar". When you are ready, you can get off the bar. With the bar, there are two rituals: one is to take apart the pillow used by the deceased before his death and burn the buckwheat skin inside with the pillowcase; Another etiquette is "throwing the basin", that is, breaking the earthen basin used for burning paper in the memorial ceremony before the spirit. This basin is called "Yin-Yang basin", commonly known as "mourning basin", but it is also called "auspicious basin". This ceremony is very important. Generally, the person who throws the basin is the eldest son or grandson of the deceased, who is very close. If there are no children and grandchildren, someone else has to throw the basin. This ceremony will make the relationship between the person who throws the basin and the deceased closer, and even establish a property inheritance relationship. Pay attention to breaking the basin once, even the more broken it is, the better, because according to custom, this basin is the pot of the deceased, and the more broken it is, the more convenient it is for the deceased to carry. As soon as the earthen bowl fell, the porter raised the bar and officially went to the funeral. The funeral procession accompanied. The funeral sequence is generally as follows: grass dragon-Ming flag-filial piety lamp-auspicious lamp-releasing cage-Ming Jing-incense pavilion-elephant pavilion-soul sedan chair-paper bridge-band-coffin-survivors-monk's road-golden couple-to see relatives and friends off. Of course, different local customs, funeral queues, forms are also different. Rich people are ceremonious and exquisite in ceremonies and complete in funerals, but poor people's funerals may be much simpler and less exquisite. On the way to the traditional funeral, there are several rituals. Such as raising paper money, setting tea tables and road sacrifices. Paper money is paper money made of white paper and shaped like copper coins. Generally, it is spread in front of the dutiful son by a special person. After the picket, in the event of a road sacrifice, passing through intersections, riverside, bridges, temples, gates, and burial, paper money should be sprinkled. Tea tables and road sacrifice sheds are mostly arranged by relatives and friends who have lost their families, expressing their condolences and condolences to the bereaved family. The tea table is for the dutiful son and his relatives and friends to drink water, and the dutiful son should run down and kowtow. Road sacrifice refers to setting up a altar or shed in the path of the funeral procession to pay homage to the dead. In case of road sacrifice, the funeral procession usually stops to pay homage and thank them, and then lifts the coffin and moves on.

1. After the burial arrives at the cemetery, tidy up the grave again, put the buried stuffing cans and ever-burning lamps in the niche on the wall of the grave, sweep away the footprints, and then slowly put down the coffin. Mr. Yin and Yang will use a compass to correct the direction, and the mourner will shovel the earth to cover the coffin and pile it up into a grave.

11. Mourning in mourning should be restrained in many aspects of life for a period of time after the death of a loved one, so as to express condolences and thoughts for the loved one. This is mourning. The etiquette of mourning is stricter for the dutiful son. In ancient times, a dutiful son had to live in mourning for three years. Why three years? Because it is customary for a child to stay in his mother's arms for three years after birth, a dutiful son should be in mourning for three years after his parents die as a reward. There will be a lot of small etiquette in three years, with many etiquette and strict requirements. In modern times, people are living faster and busy, but some people still have to mourn, but it is much shorter than in ancient times.

Traditional funeral etiquette has been increasingly talked about in people's minds, and many funeral etiquette in the old days are no longer followed. However, the death of the old people will continue. As a major event in the family, there must be some etiquette in funeral. So what are the new funeral etiquette? The new funeral generally has the following procedures:

1. Move the corpse: After confirming that the old man is dead, you can move his body to the hall or mourning hall. Generally, you still have to set off firecrackers, light incense and candles.

2. funeral service: the family members of the deceased should inform their relatives and friends through various channels as soon as possible after the death of their loved ones. The notification method can be telegram, telephone, obituary or personal notification.

3. Plastic surgery: for the dead.