What if the child loves to lie?

Children will lie when they grow up, but lying does not mean that children have made unforgivable mistakes. For example, when a child is two years old, lying does not mean cheating, but because the child's brain is developing. What if the child lies? In fact, the best solution is for parents and children to face problems together and then solve them.

The reason why children love to lie is related to the environment and the people they get along with. Nowadays, children can lie, and children like to lie. It has become a family and even a social problem that children always lie. What if the child loves to lie? This has always been a concern of many parents. To solve this problem, we must first understand the reason why "children lie, children like to lie, and children always lie".

1, win the attention of adults

Before the age of six, children are parents except themselves in his world. Therefore, in the process of parents' interaction, children are very clear about what they have done and will attract their parents' attention. When he finds that he has said some exaggerated words or done some inappropriate actions, he can attract more attention from his parents, and children will naturally repeat such behaviors.

2. Rich imagination

Preschool children, because they are in the stage of learning language, especially in games, will start to use hypothetical language when playing role-playing, such as assuming that they have been stolen or robbed; Unsuspecting parents are often intimidated by their children's language. At this time, parents should distinguish whether their children are playing games or their inner imagination. Children's imagination is sometimes beyond their parents' comprehension. In this case, parents need not be too nervous.

3. Protect yourself or pass the buck

Sometimes children lie to protect themselves, but sophistry makes parents mistakenly think that their children lack guilt and shame. In fact, it is precisely because children have a strong sense of academic security that they dare not admit or excuse that they did not do it themselves; Or in his past experience, the result of admitting or telling the truth was severe punishment and fear. In fact, if parents can take a calm attitude when dealing with such problems and ease their children's fears, then they don't have to protect themselves with lies.

Step 4 show confrontation

Other children lie because their parents interfere too much. For example, when doing homework, children are told to drink water for a while and eat snacks for a while. The child was impatient and casually said "not thirsty, not hungry" as a sign of confrontation.

5. I don't know.

Children under the age of 3 are vague about the concepts of time, space, quantity and the relationship between people, and often tell some "lies" that they don't know. For example, they may call the past "yesterday".

Step 6 imitate adults

Children sometimes see their parents, adults around them, or lying on TV. They couldn't restrain their curiosity and followed suit. So parents must be cautious in front of their children.

Step 7 achieve success

Some children are imaginative, and when describing things, they often mix their imaginary scenes with characters to make them vivid and show off themselves. At this point, while correcting, we must affirm their ability and not stop it rudely, so as not to hurt the child's self-esteem.

Six types behind children's lies 1, hypothetical lies

Children's lying is sometimes a manifestation of fantasy and imagination. Children are curious, and all kinds of imaginations will pop up in their minds, taking imaginary things as facts to meet their psychological needs. When he tells this exaggerated and unrealistic imagination as something real, children will be fascinated and adults will lie.

Parents need to distinguish between children's well-intentioned imagination and malicious lies. Not only should we not criticize the children's imagination, but we should also encourage and cultivate their imagination.

Step 2 lie for fun

Some children play tricks on others by cheating and telling lies. They are very complacent. The children in the story Wolf fall into this category. Parents should persuade and criticize such lies. It is best to educate children through stories such as "Wolf Coming", so that they can understand that cheating others will eventually pay a price, thus correcting such behavior.

3. vanity lies

Some children lie to avoid losing face or being recognized and showing off themselves. For such a lie, parents should grasp the positive side of their children's "face" while understanding them, and encourage them to understand that only by making real efforts can they become really good children.

Imitate and lie

Some parents often lie themselves, and even let their children lie to others. With this kind of words and deeds, children will naturally lie. The personality characteristics and moral quality shown in parents' behavior have far greater influence on children than any preaching. For such a lie, parents should start from themselves and be honest and trustworthy.

A gentleman's lie

Some children lie to protect their mistakes or take responsibility for their bad consequences. For example, Xiao Qiang's cousin accidentally broke his father's teacup, and Xiao Qiang lied that he broke it himself. For this chivalrous lie, parents should not only affirm his motives, but also guide their children to learn to seek truth from facts.

Be forced to lie

Children make mistakes, or fail exams, and are afraid of being punished, so they lie to cover up their mistakes and avoid punishment. For this kind of lying, we should find the reasons from parents, change the simple and rude education methods, and let the children feel that their parents are not only respectable, but also amiable and friends, so that he will naturally tell him what he knows, and lying will not exist.

Some parents will blame themselves when their children lie and think that their discipline is wrong; Some parents overreact, as if their children have committed heinous crimes; Some parents don't seem to pay attention to this problem, but let their children not know how to speak. In fact, the best attitude is for parents and children to face such problems together and help children find a better way to solve the current difficulties than lying.

1, parents lead by example

If the mother is confused and looking for something, the father, who has always been careful, will ask her what happened. She is afraid of being scolded, so she says "nothing", so the children who stand by and witness will learn to lie to avoid being scolded. As the saying goes, "example is better than words." Parents' words and deeds are often the basis for children to learn and imitate, so parents must set an example for their children.

Don't blame the child in a hurry.

When a child makes a mistake, parents should first stabilize their emotions, and don't have to get angry or blame loudly, so that the child will not be frightened or frightened, and thus clearly know what the motivation and purpose of the child's lying are. In an objective and calm atmosphere, parent-child interaction will develop positively.

3, clarify the reasons for dishonesty

First of all, we should understand that the reason why children lie is to protect themselves and win the attention of adults, or that children can't tell the distance between stories and real life. So the magic mirror in Snow White's story will make them sometimes have the effect of a game, and sometimes make them afraid. Usually, it is not until they are about five years old that they have certain cognitive differences between reality and fantasy.

4. Don't test children.

Parents often know that their children are lying, but they deliberately ask him, "Are you lying?" This way will only increase the chances of children lying. When the child is found lying, the mother should directly say to the child, "I know you did something wrong and I am not happy." My mother believes that you know how to deal with it, and I hope you will correct it next time, otherwise you will be punished. " The child was warned, and the parents generously forgave themselves this time. It won't happen next time, so it won't happen again.

5. Trust and respect children.

Parents' unwarranted doubts about their children's integrity will lead to bad psychological changes, from grievances, complaints to dissatisfaction, and even revenge. Some children deliberately show resistance by making trouble, which will aggravate the mutual distrust between parents and children and create an environment for children to lie.

6. Practical.

Parents must have an attitude and solve problems, instead of blindly criticizing children or things, so that children lose their self-esteem. You can discuss with your child like this: "If you tell what happened at that time, your mother will be happier, but what you just said doesn't seem to have really happened. Do you want to think about it again and think clearly? " It is more helpful for children to use open-ended questions and reserve some space for them.

7. Enhance honest behavior

If honesty is followed by condemnation and accusation, lies will appear again and again; After telling the truth, it can often be solved, and parents can understand it and find a way together. Honesty will become a part of life. So parents should practice emotional control. When you anticipate negative emotions, you can leave the scene temporarily, or talk about it in ten minutes.

8. The Magic of Truth

Not only children, but also parents will find that things are not so complicated and difficult after telling the truth. Anxiety after hiding and happiness after revealing the truth depend on your choice.

9. Give timely encouragement.

You can tell your child that even if he made a mistake this time, his mother is glad that he has the courage to admit it, and I believe he won't make the same mistake again next time. You can also share your similar experiences as a child with him, and let the children know that this is not the worst case. In addition, when the child is willing to admit his mistake, he should be encouraged in time so that he can continue to develop in a positive direction.

10, timely care and help

In addition, it is said that children lying is often the biggest headache for parents. Traditional education generally corrects children's behavior by punishment, but it often has a negative impact, destroys the feelings between parents and children, and makes children unwilling to communicate actively with their parents. Therefore, parents are advised not to project anger and self-blame on their children, which will lead to a vicious circle and lose the opportunity to educate their children. Everyone has had a similar experience of lying. There is no need to blame the child's behavior too much, give the child some space, and give the child proper care and help. I believe the children will have a better tomorrow.

1 1. Adhere to the principle of giving priority to positive education.

Praise children more and criticize them less. Praise and encourage children's good behavior, especially when he has honest behavior, we should pay special attention to help him solve problems as much as possible and let him understand the value of honesty.

12, patient and meticulous persuasion and education

Parents should be good at finding problems before they happen. When dealing with problems, we should teach patiently, pay attention to children's expressions, actions and words, find out what happened, and distinguish between children's intentional and unintentional lies. Help children analyze the causes of lying and its possible consequences, let children admit their mistakes frankly and cultivate their courage to admit their mistakes when they have enough security.

13, the combination of home and school, play a synergistic role.

The inconsistency between school education and family education is often the main reason for dishonest behavior. Teachers and parents go their own way, providing children with opportunities to lie. Parents should always take the initiative to contact the teacher, cooperate with the teacher, and let the children behave consistently at home and at school without lying.

14, cultivate children's self-education ability

By strengthening moral cultivation and conscious social practice, such as telling children the stories of "Wolf Coming" and "Washington", we can guide children to analyze and judge, make children actively carry out ideological struggle and behavior control, make correct thoughts and behaviors overcome incorrect thoughts and behaviors, and gradually form good ideological quality.

Listen more and communicate more with children.

When children lie in anticipation of negative consequences, parents should understand their children's needs and make more practical rules. If a child can do it and is willing to do it, he naturally doesn't have to lie. In addition, some children will lie to attract their parents' attention because they have little contact with their parents. In other words, parents should strengthen communication and interaction with their children on weekdays, learn more about their children's thoughts, and let their children feel the care and attention of their parents.

16 to help children distinguish between reality and imagination.

Not all children intentionally lie, especially young, imaginative and creative children are more likely to lie imaginatively. Parents should pay attention to telling their children what is happening in their daily lives, let them gradually distinguish between reality and imagination, and tell them how to express their imagination, such as "I want to …" and "I hope …". When a child unintentionally tells a lie and brings harm to others, he must let the child know and understand the serious consequences of his behavior.

Don't make up stories. Children who don't tell the truth are considered bad children. It's good for children to tell the truth sometimes. For those who speak impromptu or lie casually (or make up stories), we should point out their mistakes in good faith, hoping that he will speak seriously in the future and praise him if he makes progress.

17, to meet the reasonable requirements and wishes of children.

For example, toys, books, markers, etc. should be bought for children at the right time. Let children realize that what they need, as long as it is reasonable and what the family can do, will be satisfied. This can avoid the situation that children can take back other people's things casually without telling their parents and children because their needs are not met.

18, don't "label" children at will.

Children's lies are often not intended to hurt others on purpose. Parents should not easily equate their children's lying behavior with their children's quality. They shouldn't characterize their children because of a lie, and label them as "little liars", "liars" and "braggadocio". This will not only help children get rid of the problem of lying, but also strengthen their lying behavior, which may prompt them to lie harder in the future. Because if a child feels that he is a dishonest and lying child in the eyes of his parents, his self-esteem will be hurt and his parents will have rebellious psychology. Since both parents think they are liars and liars, I'll help you. In any case, lies will not be told, even when it is time to tell the truth.

19, parents should treat their children with a normal heart.

Parents should not blindly compare their children with other people's children and set too high demands on their children, which will not only lead to children lying, but also make them lose confidence. Parents should teach according to their children's actual situation, interests and characteristics. Parents should be happy and proud of their children as long as they can make progress every day and give full play to their advantages and specialties.

20. Make some rules and strict requirements.

It is necessary to prevent children from lying, educate children to be honest, not just reasonable, and have specific requirements for behavioral norms, so that children can strictly demand themselves according to honest standards from an early age and consciously develop good habits. Therefore, parents should put forward the specific requirements of "what is needed and what is not needed" according to their children's actual situation, such as not telling lies, not making up lies, not talking big, not lying about their grades and so on. It doesn't mean that you can't take your own things home, that you can't take other people's things without permission, that you should return the borrowed things in time, that you should be brave enough to admit your mistakes, and that you must do your best to promise others' requirements. Once these rules are put forward, they must be strictly implemented, and they cannot be done overnight. Attention should be paid to overcoming the problems that appear for the first time. Parents should be firm and strict in the implementation of the rules, and must not accommodate or tolerate them.

2 1, appropriate punishment

Some parents take disciplinary measures to correct their children's lies. This "punishment" for "warning" is also one of the basic ways of love. However, it is also the most troublesome and risky love, because children are easy to resist the punisher. But if your punishment is out of love, and it is executed reasonably and skillfully, and the truth can be explained afterwards, the child will benefit a lot and be completely convinced. After careful and patient education, children have double-sided behaviors such as lying, and certain punishment measures can be taken. Bing Xin, a famous writer, once asked to wash his mouth with soap to punish children who lied. We can create some effective measures, such as reciting an honest story, copying a famous saying about honesty, writing a diary or an article to discuss honesty, canceling an arrangement of going out to play, etc. ...

22. Cultivate children's strong sense of responsibility.

Although children are small, they are also social people, so it is necessary to cultivate their sense of responsibility. Recognizing, admitting and correcting mistakes is also a responsible performance. Recognizing mistakes, admitting mistakes and correcting them are not only beneficial to individuals, but also to the collective and the country. If someone makes fake and shoddy goods, this behavior will infringe on the rights and interests of others, hurt the general public and damage the reputation of the country, and individuals will be punished by law. It can be seen that small mistakes and misunderstandings lead to bigger mistakes. When I was young, I would tell a little lie, but when I was older, I would tell a big lie. Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate children's good habits of not concealing their own shortcomings, not concealing their own mistakes, not shirking their responsibilities, and correcting mistakes when they make mistakes, so as to cultivate children's sense of responsibility and honesty.

How to Correct Children's Lying Some young parents find that their children lie at an early age. They are very worried about it. What happens to children when they grow up? In fact, it is necessary to recognize the differences between children's lying behaviors. Some are a reaction of psychological development at a certain age, and some may be true lies. Only by taking educational measures according to different reasons can we help correct children's bad tendency to lie.

Don't hit casually.

When children are found lying, parents should keep calm. Simple education methods such as beating and cursing blindly can only push children to the opposite side of their own wishes. Don't listen to your children, and do some investigation and verification when necessary. Many children lie when they find that they have done something wrong and are afraid of being scolded by their parents. If parents keep beating and cursing, it will be counterproductive. It is necessary to analyze the cause and effect, find out and correct it in time, so as to avoid the bigger the lie. Be persuasive, point out the harm of lying to children, let children know their mistakes in guilt and correct them in encouragement. In addition, parents should also master the psychology of some children to distinguish whether their words are naive imagination or deliberate lying. There is a qualitative difference between the two and they should be treated differently.

Enrich children's knowledge

Children have narrow knowledge and love fantasy. They often confuse imaginary things with real things and can't tell whether something is true or not. In fact, this is just an imagination, an illusion of lying. Parents should make good use of this kind of "bragging", first of all, encourage and praise their children's innovative imagination, seize the opportunity, and let their children acquire correct knowledge through some short stories, objective things around them, or some intuitive means such as books and television.

Teach children the ability to distinguish right from wrong.

Although children are small, they also have vanity and competitiveness. Because they don't have the ability of moral evaluation and the sense of social value they deserve, they will inevitably turn competition into vanity, which will lead to lying. Therefore, it is necessary to cultivate children's correct and healthy concept of competition from an early age. Through the usual words and deeds, tell stories, analyze the small things around you, explain some principles of being a man, and strictly demand from some small things at ordinary times, so that children can know what is right and what is wrong; What to do and what not to do. What kind of bad effects and consequences will you have on yourself and others if you do something wrong? Let children distinguish right from wrong, don't do things they shouldn't do, and don't say dishonest things. It is a virtue to know that honesty is a good boy when they do something wrong unintentionally.

Create a good environment near Zhu Zhechi, and people near Mexico will become black.

Frequent contact with children who lie will lead children to form bad habits of lying, so children should be taught to choose "good friends". In the eyes of children, parents are their lofty idols, and their words and deeds have a subtle and important influence on children. Therefore, parents should lead by example and set an honest example for their children with beautiful words. Only when parents have beautiful hearts can it be possible to cultivate a child with beautiful hearts.

Children's lying education varies with age. When parents find out that their children are lying, proper education is necessary, but the education methods should be different for children of different ages. Children of different ages lie for different reasons, and targeted education can achieve good results.

1-3 years old

Children's first lie is likely to appear at this stage, mainly to deny what they have done or to lie in order to get something.

Coping: Parents should not reprimand or force their children to admit lying, but should enlighten them in good faith.

3-5 years old

At this time, children often regard imaginary things as reality, and these fabricated lies are more like simple performances or wishful thinking. He may say that he knows a TV star or has strange experiences with some cartoon characters.

Response: If the child says something that you think is irrelevant, don't directly break his imagination. You can even follow his ideas and construct a beautiful scene with him.

5- 12 years old

At this stage, children sometimes lie because they consider other people's feelings or don't want to hurt others, which shows that children have the initial social consciousness. Children will also lie, because they can't reach a certain ability, and they don't want to disappoint their parents and don't want to be punished.

Response: If the child lies, don't punish him by refusing to watch TV or being locked in the house. We should find out the reasons why children lie and help them face and overcome difficulties.

12-18 years old

When children grow up, they may no longer be willing to share the details of their lives with their parents. If they get to the bottom of it, they will make up some lies to perfunctory. This is a sign of growth.

Coping: Parents should give their children free space, but grasp the scale. If children often lie because of homework, parents will express dissatisfaction. Some children will lie because of pressure, and parents should help him solve it and tell him that this cannot be a reason to lie. Honesty is very important to a person.