Who has the complete works of rabbit jokes, ant elephant jokes and so on?

1. A bear was defecating in the Woods, and a rabbit came by. He asked the rabbit, "Is it shedding hair?" "The rabbit thought for a moment and said," Don't lose hair! "The bear took a cigarette and asked," Does it shed hair? The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "Don't shed hair! "The bear looked at the rabbit suspiciously and asked," Really don't shed hair? "The rabbit shouted impatiently," If you don't lose your hair, you won't lose it! ! ! Taking his word, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said ... "Sorry, I forgot my paper"

2. The giraffe said, "Little rabbit, I wish you knew how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what delicious food I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"and, in summer, the cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is so delicious. It's great to have a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The little white rabbit said slowly," Have you ever vomited? "

3. One day, a kangaroo was driving around a country road, and suddenly he saw a white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost lying on the ground as if listening to something ...

So ... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "White rabbit, what are you listening to?"

"A big truck passed by here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow ... that's amazing! .. how do you know? .. "

" He's fucking! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

4. The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly met an elephant. The ant quickly plunged into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh … don't make any noise, watch me stumble …

5. One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "What are you writing, rabbit?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What's the topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how the rabbit ate the wolf."

the wolf laughed to show his disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave, and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asks, "What's the topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How did the rabbit eat a fox?"

when the fox heard this, he laughed, indicating his disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion is sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes.

6. One day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said,"No.. "The little white rabbit went away.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said," I told you, no! "The little white rabbit went away.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss is anxious:" How many times have I told you? ! No! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll pull out all your teeth with tiger pliers! "

The little white rabbit got scared and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?" "

The boss said,"No.. "

The little white rabbit asked," Well, do you have any carrots? "

The boss was really angry. He took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the white rabbit's teeth.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrot juice here?" "

7. The white rabbit and the big bear are squatting under the tree to shit.

the big bear said to the little white rabbit, although you little white rabbits look good, you are in trouble! You can see it when you get something dirty. It's disgusting!

the little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

The big bear said, Yes! The big bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away

...

8. The white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a pot.

A genie came out of the pot, saying that it could grant them three wishes each.

the bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

the little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

the bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

the little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

the bear said, turn all the other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turning this bear into a homosexual ...

9.

The first company

Boss: Bunny, are you busy with your work today?

rabbit: not busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you can't work for the company more, you are not busy. What does the company want you for?

* The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: very busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

Boss: Because you are not organized, you are busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

* The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

tutu: not bad.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you are irrational, there is nothing "ok" but "no" ok. What does the company want you for?

* The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: just finished.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you are too inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

* The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: some of them have been finished and checked, and now they are doing other things. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you are not systematic, won't you do some things together? What does the company want from you?

* The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: I have finished all my work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you have no plans, won't you plan what you will do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

* The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: today's work is finished, so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues share their worries and relieve their pains? What does the company want from you?

* The eighth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or pressure on others. What does the company want you for?

* Ninth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: you are arrogant. I asked you questions repeatedly. What does the company want from you?

* The tenth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

tutu: I ... I ... don't know ... how to answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

tutu: why?

boss: because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you for?

* 11th company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy with your work today?

Tutu: Fuck you, I resigned ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company will not let you go!

1.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, there aren't that many"

"I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

boss: "I'm sorry, but there isn't."

"I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ！”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll take two!" "

11.

A little white rabbit was running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The little white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe, giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's run in nature together! " Giraffes looked at the marijuana smoke and the white rabbit, so they threw the marijuana smoke behind them and ran in the forest with the white rabbit. < P > Later, they met an elephant who was preparing to smoke cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant elephant, why did you do something to hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's run in nature together! " Elephants looked at cocaine and the white rabbit, so they threw cocaine behind them and ran in the forest with the white rabbit and giraffe. Later, they met a lion who was preparing to fight viper. The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, why did you do something to hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together!"

The lion looked at the needle cylinder and the white rabbit, so he threw the needle cylinder behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?" It is so kind that it cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "The lion said angrily," This bastard rabbit drags me around in the forest like an idiot every time he takes ecstasy. "

12.

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river and went home without catching anything.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still caught nothing and went home.

On the third day, when the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, If you dare to use carrot as bait again, I will crush you to death!

14.

To test the strength of pol.ice in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland,

The United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who can find the rabbit first.

Before the first forest, it was pol.ice in the United States. They first spent a whole half-day meeting to make a battle plan, strictly divided the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for carpet search.

Then it was Hong Kong's turn to pol.ice. They sent more than 1 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted with his horn, "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender quickly ..." Half a day passed, and nothing happened. The Flying Tigers entered the forest and searched again, but the mission failed!

Finally, there were four pol.ice in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, one person went into the forest with a baton. Within five minutes, he heard a scream of animals coming from the forest. pol.ice in China came out laughing and smoking a cigarette, dragging a black bear behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I am a rabbit ..." The two older ones asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together. The younger one said that I wouldn't go and you ate my mushrooms when I left. The two older ones said that they wouldn't, so the little white rabbit went ~ ~ ~ Half a year passed, and the older one said that it wouldn't come back. Let's eat, and the other one said that it would wait ~ ~ ~. One year passed and the younger one didn't come back. Don't wait for the two older ones to discuss. Let's eat. I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms.

15.

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest, and when he met the wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to go to the king of the forest, Tiger, to complain. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I know, I will take care of this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his buddy, the wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's hard for me." Then he wiped the ash falling on the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found the thin one, and you said you wanted the fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come here and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found slim ones, and you said you liked plump ones. You can beat her. It's reasonable and powerful. " The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again rushed to a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It was the big bad wolf who came face to face. The wolf said, "Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, and his heart sank, and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds, and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear posts. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."