Biographical fragment

In April 1960, Pasternak felt the first signs of illness. His left shoulder blade began to hurt, and soon he was unable to write in a sitting position and could only stand and copy the opening lines of the play. The doctor found fluid in his body, but he didn't believe it. He remembered a patient at Botkin Hospital. The hospital also said that this patient suffered from radiculitis and fluid accumulation in his body, but Pasternak knew that this patient had lung cancer.

On Easter Day in April of that year, Pasternak came to Potapov Alley for the last time and met Ivanskaya. The mother and daughter were seeing off Irina Yemelyanova's French fiancé Georges Neave, who was preparing to return to Paris to recuperate after a serious illness. "Bo Lie is in a good mood, tanned, looks like a healthy person, and still speaks amazingly." During this meeting, Pasternak advised Irina Yemelyanova not to immigrate. "You are used to using the conditions of the Soviet Union to explain people's stupidity to yourself, but over there, you will directly encounter stupidity, despicability and shamelessness, and these are unconditional and will be a mental blow to you. . But I believe in your destiny.” He also praised George Neve for his straightforwardness and simplicity. Several people drank two bottles of Widow Champagne. [1] Pasternak said that he wanted to write a book about the meaning of civilization and about the decline of humanity in art in Russia and the West. "No, there must be some meaning in this, as it should be!" He planned to bring some of these thoughts into Agathonov's mouth, predict the fate of art in the future era through the characters in the play, or write a separate chapter. In the evening, he and Ivinskaya went to Beretelkino together. She returned to her own apartment and he returned to the "Big Villa", where he received Renata Schweitzer, with whom he had corresponded for a long time and who came to visit for the first time. After a brief conversation in the study, he took her to get acquainted with Ivinskaya. Schweitzer rushed to kiss him at every turn. He pretended to be angry and asked Ivinskaya for forgiveness. When he got home, he took off his clothes in the corridor and muttered: "The coat is so heavy!" Then he sat at the Easter table for a long time, talked passionately, drank a lot of wine, and was very happy. .

The next day, he developed severe pain in his chest. Ivinskaya took him to find a familiar neurosurgeon, Baroness Giesengaussen[2]. She looked over his body, eulogized the verses of his youth, and declared in a quiet contralto that she found no major problems. Pasternak cheered up slightly.

At the end of April, his condition worsened significantly. He trudged to the villa management office and called Moscow. Ivinskaya asked him how he felt, and he said in a weak voice: "Hey, I won't live to be a hundred years old!" At the same time, Yemelyanova, who was listening to their conversation through another microphone, shouted: "You can, you can Live!"

On April 20, Schweitzer came to say goodbye and gave her nephew a metaphorical painting titled "Tiger", with one of the tiger's hind legs painted in black. , the boy meant that Pasternak had soiled himself in his native land. Pasternak exclaimed excitedly: "This is little Chagall[3]!" He immediately wrote a postcard to the boy to express his gratitude. Pasternak said goodbye to Schweitzer, waved to her from the front steps, trudged back to the study upstairs, and said to Nina Tabidze: "Please don't scare Zina and Lonichka. , but I believe that I have lung cancer and my shoulder blades hurt terribly."

On April 23, he went to the "little villa" again to look at Ivanskaya (Note: Pa's lover). She was pale and panicked; she recalled that he kissed her like that, as if he wanted to restore life, health, and strength...

On May 1, Krasheninnikova came to visit him. According to her account, Yevgeny Borisovich wrote: “He invited her to perform a confessional ceremony with him, closed his eyes, his deformed face shone, and recited all the relevant prayers in one breath. The power of the ceremony and The sense of the living coming of Christ was so striking that even when he unexpectedly spoke of the imminence of death, it became a trivial matter. ”

During the festival in May, it rained continuously. Ivinskaya and her daughter moved back to Beretelkino's residence and waited for Pasternak, but there was no sign of him until the evening of May 3, when Koma Ivanov sent him Upbeat letter as usual. Pasternak claimed that he suffered from angina pectoris, high blood pressure and neurasthenia. "Don't be sad, this is not what we want to defeat," the letter concluded.

On May 5, his condition suddenly worsened, but he did not change his daily routine. The next day, he wanted to wash his hair, but a sudden pain in his chest and shoulders almost made him lose consciousness. Myocardial infarction was suspected. The electrocardiogram did not show any abnormalities. According to the electrocardiogram reexamination on May 9, Dr. Nechayev concluded that it was a deep double-site infarction. Professor Fehlisen supported this diagnosis, so the Literary Foundation Clinic sent a doctor to Pasternak. Dr. Anna Gorodets.

He was already lying on the bed in the piano room on the first floor and was not allowed to get up. His brother and sister-in-law rushed to Beretelkino, and Tamara Ivanova also visited from time to time. Pasternak did not cry out in pain, but he was prohibited from turning over and lying on his side because the pain required him to lie flat. He couldn't sleep and couldn't help thinking about it. He sighed repeatedly and told the nurse that this was "a nightmare without a dream." Zinaida Nikolayevna said that he usually eats something at night to fall asleep better. The doctor allowed him to be fed at 11 o'clock at night, but he still couldn't sleep.

Pasternak couldn't bear to be seen unshaven. He asked his son to shave his face, and Lyonia did so. Reading is also not allowed, but he still talks and thinks about literature, and what he rambles about is literature: "The translations of Shakespeare and Goethe quarreled with each other, attracting me, and then disappearing."

Nurse Tell him it's best not to say anything serious.

"Then what should I say?" He was angry. "Didn't I mean the left shoulder blade? But it doesn't speak Russian."

He kept apologizing to several nurses: Look, I am sick and you have to take care of me...

"I have had discomfort and pain in my left shoulder blade for a long time, but it doesn't seem serious. Sometimes it can be so serious that I dare not admit it. It turns out that I I thought that I could defeat the disease through the body's internal resistance. I was wrong. I caused all this to myself."

This belief that physical condition depends on mental condition is entirely Pasteur's fault. Ernak style. No wonder that one day two or three years ago, when Zinaida Nikolaevna asked him what complaints he had, whether they were mental or physical, he exclaimed: “I was not born to feel myself in a physical way! ”

Upstairs, repairs were being done in his study. Endless. The topic of restoration has been with him throughout his life, and now it has resurfaced.

Zoya Maslennikova brought cherries, which were rare at this time of the year, and squeezed the juice for him to drink. It was already very difficult for him to eat and he said, "Great."

On the night of the 13th, the situation got worse. He cried out for the first time that his stomach hurt, and that night he told Anna Gorodets that the history of his life would not end with the history of his illness. "The discussion will continue for a while in the future, but then everyone will recognize it. No matter what, I am a Nobel Prize winner after all."

The ECG signs are getting worse. My legs also started to hurt. Under the influence of opium alkaloids, he half-awakened and said: "The two heels are like personal enemies whose names I have forgotten, and they have taken matters into their own hands." Even so, he did not let the nurse get close until his wife finished washing him. , he put on the dentures himself. He calls it "living by the teeth."

On May 14, at the request of Ivinskaya, Professor Dolgoprosk, who had treated Pasternak for myocardial infarction in 1952, came to check on his condition. I had a consultation the next day and was diagnosed with gastric cancer. Relatives were not informed. He was injected with a powerful analgesic and he fell asleep. As soon as he woke up, he asked:

"Where is Leonov?"

"Leonov is not here. ”, the nurse replied.

"He was sitting here just now, and we were talking about "Faust"... Please don't give me any more anesthesia."

In order to relieve the pain, give him An oxygen tent was installed so that he could fall asleep.

At one point, the nurse asked, "How do you feel about yourself?"

"Anything can happen, but in the process, I feel at peace," he replied.

He no longer drinks his favorite strong tea. He learned that he had an ulcer, but he didn't know who he heard from. In this case, a rich-flavored diet is the most harmful to the body. Begins to refuse the food prepared for him by Tanya, the domestic worker: “She is absolutely stupid in this matter.

"

"Look what you said, Tanya dedicated her whole heart! "

"What she gave was her heart, but the dirt remained. "

He said to Nina Tabize: "I love you all. But now, I no longer exist, just a mess in my chest and stomach. ”

The Dutchman sent a large bouquet of tulips. He asked not to bring them into the room because he did not like flowers in vases, only those in nature. He asked every day if the cherries had bloomed. That was a It's a hot and humid day in May, but the cherries haven't bloomed yet. "While I'm sick, I prefer it to be cloudy," he said sadly.

Anna Gorodets. He praised his youthful and healthy muscles and elastic skin. In the last days of May, he was getting thinner and thinner. What he was most afraid of was that his relatives asked Ivinskaya to come to him. Teets guessed that this meant that his situation was hopeless and that Zinaida Nikolayevna was even planning to leave home on her arrival, an idea he rejected. >

During the morning check-up on May 18, Gorodets felt a metastasis on his left upper clavicle, and immediately rushed to Moscow to seek consultation.

In the evening, he was given another treatment. An oxygen tent was set up. He could barely move.

"Look what I've become!" Fell into the boring tables between the pages. "

Marfa Kuzminichna is an older, stern nurse. Pasternak said to her: "Marfa Kuzminichna Na, you probably haven't been favored by life. But you have a kind heart, you are so majestic and cherish your reputation, you can do anything, as long as you are willing. Please do something for me, Marfa Kuzminichna, I really want to live. Don't worry, please sit down and think about it before you do it... I live a double life. Oh, if you knew her you wouldn't condemn me. Have you ever had a double life? ”

He never told anyone about Ivinskaya, but occasionally sent the sixteen-year-old nurse Marina Rasoshina to Ivinskaya to comfort her.

On May 22, with the help of her brother, a famous radiologist, Yelena Tagg[5] actually moved a fluoroscopy machine to the villa.

"Here. , now it’s okay,” Pasternak said, “Everything will be clear, and there will be another result. ”

Based on the fluoroscopic images, Professor Tagg concluded that it was a left lung cancer, and that it had spread to both lung lobes. This is the fastest form of cancer, usually caused by a strong mental shock. It seems, The symptoms began to develop in the last months of 1959, when the situation was ambiguous and direct threats from the authorities replaced persecution.

After the fluoroscopy, Pasternak lost a lot of weight for the first time. . The denture was placed on his bedside in a brown box with peeling enamel. The box had been intact for many years.

The nurse told him that the film showed that it was chronic pneumonia. . He didn’t believe it.

On the 23rd, the doctor in charge of the Literary Foundation’s outpatient department came to visit him. “The lovely doctor,” he said, “is a bit like Fei Ding. (Note: Soviet writer, Pasternak’s neighbor)”

Some foreign reporters were always waiting near the villa. The whole of Moscow knew about the diagnosis, and the West also knew about it. Pasternak asked that his sister be released Diya was recalled from London. She was planning to leave immediately, but the Soviet embassy delayed her visa.

At 4 o'clock in the morning on May 27, Pasternak's pulse disappeared and he was called. It took a few shots to recover. “I feel great. I couldn't feel anything at first, but your injections brought me back to uneasiness. "

"If you die like this," he repeated the same sentence for several days, "there is nothing to be afraid of. "

"Life is beautiful," he said to the nurse. "If life continues, I will use it to resist vulgarity. In world literature and Chinese literature. Too much vulgarity. People's writing is not on point. "

He also said that he should write about the work of nurses: "Well, yes, you are laborers. There are so many troubles in the world, and any activity is so complicated and difficult, but here it is shown so noble, sincere and selfless. This is what I'm going to write about. ”

He also asked Olesha (Note: Soviet writer) if he was still alive. He didn’t know that Olesha fell ill in April and died in early May.

"I feel like there's filth around me," he told his eldest son. "I've been told that you should eat to whet your appetite. But it's torture. The same goes for literature. Recognition doesn't count. Recognition, but no memory of the past. Relationships are ruined in different ways, not just here, but everywhere in the world. , the whole life became a battle with absolute vulgarity."

On May 27, he received a blood transfusion. He said he donated blood during the war. When the needle was pulled out of the vein, blood flowed onto the bed and the doctor's white coat.

"Bloody images," Pasternak said.

The next morning, he asked the doctor:

"Have you ever treated patients like me who had complications after myocardial infarction?"

"Yes. ”, replied the doctor.

"Have they recovered?"

"Yes."

"Then tell me their names."

She named several writers. He seemed calmer.

During the night, the nurse on duty fell asleep for a while in front of him, but soon woke up and felt that he was looking at her.

"I'm sorry," the nurse said sheepishly.

"It doesn't matter," he smiled, "you are in good condition."

Once, Gorodets asked him to read aloud.

"You know, I am writing a book myself, why do I need to read other people's books?" He replied a little annoyed.

On the 28th, his condition completely deteriorated.

"Since you know everything," he said to the nurse, "why do you need to tie my life up with this noose? Please look deep in your heart. Life is beautiful, very beautiful. It’s wonderful. But death is inevitable.”

On the second day, he couldn’t wait for the blood transfusion because he felt much better after the first blood transfusion. Called Liao Niya and asked him how the exam went. In the evening, Zhenya also came. Pasternak called him, but said nothing.

Professor Kahilsky was the only doctor who did not charge for consultation. He said Pasternak had less than five days left. A week passed, but Pasternak was still alive. On May 29, Nina Tabize came to visit. As usual, he grabbed her hand, touched his fingers, and said: "Ganatsvale." [6] Tabize specially put on some lipstick that day and wore brighter clothes than usual. Ernak said that she and Zina had completely changed and looked different, and that he had repeatedly said that he was going to die, which would relieve them of their worries about him. Nina decided to appear in front of him with a slightly younger and fresh face:

"Your health has improved, and Nina and I look good too!"

He shook his head and said: "No, Ninotchka, my health is in bad shape, and neither are you."

On the morning of May 30, as usual, he asked his wife to give him Comb your hair, and to put it playfully, parting is not how you do it. Waiting for blood transfusion. The doctor didn't make a decision for a long time, and he didn't know why. The transfusion finally began, and a stream of blood spurted from his throat.

"Leda[7] is on her way," the eldest son said repeatedly, "wait for her to come."

"Lida, that's great," he said.

He asked his wife to be alone with him.

"I love life, and I love you," he said to her, "but I have no regrets in parting from you: there is too much vulgarity around us, not only here in our country, but in the whole world. No matter what, I won't reconcile with you. I can't thank you enough." He asked his wife to call his two sons.

"How about it, it's time for us to say goodbye?"

This sentence is laced with questions.

"You two are my legitimate sons. After my death, you will not be threatened in any way except the natural sorrow and pain, except the loss itself. You are recognized by the law. But there is another side to my existence, an illegal side. The reason why it is known abroad is because of my fate, what happened in my career, and especially because of the recent controversy surrounding the Nobel Prize. When Da comes, she will pay attention to these situations.

There's a lot she should know from more than just you. Leda will take care of it... This is the illegal side and no one will be able to maintain it after my death. Do you understand? "

"You want to say," Zhenya asked, "that you want to entrust us with everything you leave behind, right? "

"No, that's not what I meant at all. I hope you have nothing to do with this, and I hope this forced indifference will not embarrass you or become a burden to you. "

His breathing became rapid.

"What is your next procedure? Oxygen tent? Then use an oxygen tent. "

He said to Marfa Kuzminichna, who was holding his head:

"I can't hear clearly. There seemed to be a fog in front of my eyes. But this will eventually subside, right? "

Zinaida Nikolayevna and her two sons stayed by his side.

At eleven o'clock that night, he said to his wife:

"Please forgive me. "

He paused for a moment and then said:

"I am happy. "

2

At the same time, among those people with whom he has been close throughout his life and whose contacts have occasionally been interrupted, a banquet that looks like a mystery drama is being prepared: someone Busy before the banquet, checking to see if everyone has arrived at his favorite spot; the host Jizian Tabize arranges the guests to sit and fills the huge horn cups used for fine wine, proud of the right to host the feast ; Paolo’s friend advised Vladimir’s [8] friend not to explain the situation from the beginning (“Think about how you felt at the beginning”), Reiner took a slightly closer position: “I can finally see He did it! "A group of old men gathered near: Hey, hurry up... People haven't sat down yet, chatting as usual: Oh, if he had known in advance, who would have delayed even a minute! In fact, if he had not been disturbed the day before yesterday, he might have Here he was. The atmosphere of the coming gathering attracted everyone, including those who had a grudge against him, although, it should be admitted, there were far fewer people than usual on the approach of such an important guest. Change after change, he needs to be included immediately, because masters of his level will also be scrambling here, and you know that this is an extraordinary moment when the happy waiting reaches its climax, and it is not surprising to think of the hardships of his final journey. Some people feel sad: in the end, everyone will go through this process, it’s no big deal. He has frequently done strange things, as if he is no longer alive... In essence, if everyone behaves like this, the world How wonderful it would be!

The whirlwind is flying, the dark clouds are speeding, and the stars are sending their glances; everything is ready, the corridor is vacated, and the final decorations are completed on the dining table; suddenly, a ray of light comes from the feast in the sky. The pale reflection made the shade of the cherry trees he planted pale. It was an unusually hot day in May. The event was scheduled to take place at 11:20; "He's here, he's here!" ", whispers came from among the seats. With expressions of infinite sincerity, Paolo and Ji Qian walked towards him. No one competed with them for the right to welcome him first. He looked around and saw countless blurry figures lined up. They formed a queue, hidden in the golden glow of the celebration; everyone was in a mixed mood of joy and sorrow, and gradually, joy clearly gained the upper hand. He could already hear the musicians adjusting their bows and the banquet could begin. There is no need to think about the words and worry about it. It is obvious that everyone can understand it correctly. Strangely, his breathing becomes easier and easier. He walks towards his friends: there are continuous toasts in front of him, and the gorgeous words are full of respect. At this moment, just one extremely simple word is enough. Just one word, and they will recognize him as he was before, and they will not doubt his authenticity, because their feelings of happiness are once again miraculously consistent with reality, and they are overflowing with emotion. The joyful reality infinitely surpassed these sentiments, and he couldn't help but feel happy. He bowed his head to the oncoming people and said briefly:

"I am happy. ”

A cheer sounded: This is still him, he is the real him in his prime. Others thought that he turned to face them, probably to say that he was happy for their presence, To die safely at home, or for his suffering to finally end, however, all of this is actually irrelevant...

1

"In the morning, the sun keeps its promise/ As expected, the orange light shines slantingly between the curtains and the sofa through the window.

"[9] The morning of May 31, 1960 came. This was the first day that Pasternak was lost in the world.

Zinaida Nikolaevna and family The female worker Tanya washed his body together. At six o'clock in the morning, Ivinskaya came in a hurry and stayed at the bedside for a long time. She felt that he was still warm. The hands were still soft. On June 1, the coffin was brought to the city and the body was buried. The Literary Foundation sent two funeral organizers to ask Zinaida Nikolayevna what she thought. How should the funeral be conducted? "Let the music continue to play," she replied, "my mood should be calm, and things should be done in a plain and simple way, just like his plain and simple life. ”

The coffin was parked in the restaurant. The strong and fat Yuzina was supported and struggled to climb the steps. She, Stasik Negaus and Richter[10 ] played the pieces separately. Accompanied by violin and cello, Yuzina played Pasternak’s beloved trio Tchaikovsky [11] and then solo. Many pieces of music by Schubert. The sculptor Wilensky made a mask from the face of the dead Pasternak. Flowers surrounded the coffin, and a steady stream of people passed by to say goodbye. < /p>

At dusk, Irina Yemelyanova and George Neve came to bid farewell to Pasternak. Irina, who had always been afraid of death and the dead, was deeply shocked by his cold remains. : She had never seen him with his hair parted, and he always had droopy hair on his forehead.

"What is lying here is simply another person with a noble face, old and old. Quiet, thin, with a reproachful (no, rather stern) look. Once upon a time, it was entirely possible that such a person existed in the world, but it was not Bollie, but someone else. Death, no matter how much he thought about it, no matter how many words he wrote about it and how many times he prepared to meet it, never came close to him. Death did not come from his daily life. There is no common language between them. Death couldn't adapt to him, it simply replaced him. This change shocked me so much that I couldn't even cry. It's more like relief. I pondered for a moment and suddenly realized: What does all this have to do with him? This is not him, no!

George Neave and I looked at each other. Yes, Bob Lie is not in this space. But where is he? I can't describe how I feel. Perhaps, this is a unique religious experience in my life. My heart trembled: What if? What if, is it an omen and a hint that we will not die, and that it is impossible to die in the end? Is there any eventuality?

Everyone came out and stood on the porch. He is here, with us. Look, this is the sky he loved, the trees, this ditch, the clock tower in the distance, the setting sun in the spring. All these are the bigger him, more than the one we left in the room. This is indeed the feeling of miracle. In such an instant, unexpectedly, it meets us materialists who are unprepared.

Return to the village. Miracles do not leave us. It looked at us from behind every turn in the little sandy road. From the half-dry stream. From an absurd haystack to now, for us, this haystack will always be in the shadow of the long hayloft without moonlight[12]...but more from the sky. The miracle followed us to the house and then disappeared, leaving us alone with chaos and fear. But the point is, it has been here before, and it is fleeting, and that gives us strength. "

In the evening, the high priest Joseph from the Beretelkino Church gave him a requiem prayer. The funeral is scheduled for June 2. Next to the ticket window of the suburban line of Kiev Railway Station, a sticker A handwritten notice came out:

“Comrades! Between the late night of May 30 and the early morning of May 31, 1960, Boris Leonidovich Pasternak, one of the greatest poets of our time, passed away. The civil prayer ceremony will be held at 15:00 today. Bersetelkino station. "

The announcement published in "Literary Gazette" is worthy of being recorded in history as an example of revenge for the dead and as proof of despicability: "The Board of Directors of the Soviet Literary Foundation announced that due to a long-term serious illness, the writer Pasternak Boris Leonidovich, a member of the foundation, passed away on May 30 this year at the age of 70. Therefore, we would like to express our condolences to the family of the deceased. ”

The whole village, dressed in their best new clothes, came to see him off.

Many gray-haired ladies and serious, upright old men came from Moscow and he wrote his works for these boys and girls of the past; they no longer meet together. This was once a small and tight-knit group of old intellectuals in Moscow who were becoming increasingly scarce and found solace and vindication in him. Many of them were destroyed by the times, but after all, it was impossible to destroy everyone.

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[1] That is, "Triumph Champagne" was founded in 1772. In 1805, the owner of the winery unfortunately passed away. His young widow inherited her husband's business, constantly pursuing perfection and innovation, and brewing products of superior quality, thus making "Veuve Clicquot Champagne" the most famous in the world. One of the champagne brands.

[2] Original text.

[3] Marc Zakharovich Chagall (1887-1985), a French painter of Belarusian origin, an outstanding representative of avant-garde painting art in the twentieth century, was born in Tsarist Russia and left the Soviet Union in 1922. Russia moved to Western Europe and finally settled in France.

[4] Wife of Vsevolod Ivanov.

[5] Yelena Mikhailovna Tag (18951964), Russian-Soviet poet, essayist, and memoirist.

[6] The Russian transliteration of a common expression in Georgia is equivalent to "dear", "my friend", and "comrade", expressing love and respect for the listener.

[7] Lidia’s pet name.

[8] "Vladimir" here may refer to Vladimir Mayakovsky. The subsequent mention of "Rainer" refers to Rainer Rilke.

[9] Quoted from "August" (1953).

[10] Sviatoslav Teofilovich Richter (1915-1997), a Ukrainian pianist of German origin, one of the greatest piano artists of the 20th century.

[11] This is the subtitle of Tchaikovsky's "Piano Trio in A Minor".

[12] Quoted from "Love, Let's Go, The Thunderstorm Has Not Stopped" (1917).