Black humorous quotations are funny.

Lead: Black humor is an absurd, abnormal and morbid literary genre. It is a comedy that juxtaposes pain and laughter, absurd facts with disproportionate calm response, cruelty and warmth, and it is an important literary genre in the United States in the 1960s. The following are the classic quotations of black humor collected by me, for your reference.

Gold can use fire, women can use gold, and men can use women.

If a man wants money, he is destined for everyone.

When a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary, not an independence day.

Optimistic about the future, pessimistic about people's hearts.

Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings; Between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt!

At that time, I was poor all my life without going to college, but now I am poor as soon as I go to college.

Previously: first-class students went abroad, second-rate students took postgraduate entrance examinations, and third-rate students were employed.

Now: first-class students are employed, second-rate students go abroad, and third-rate students take the postgraduate entrance examination.

The customer is not god, the customer is just fooled.

It's not terrible to meet a group of hooligans on the Internet. The terrible thing is to encounter a bunch of rogue software.

Children regard toys as friends, while adults regard friends as toys.

Tell lies with real names in reality, and tell the truth with pseudonyms in the internet.

Jokes don't hurt enemies, but they hurt friends.

When there is no money, my wife and secretary; When rich, the secretary and wife.

The rich are afraid that others will know that he has money, while the poor are afraid that others will know that he has no money.

No matter how rich people are, they are also worried about money.

Live well, because we will die for a long time.

Don't believe in love at first sight, because you can't see how much money the other person earns at a glance.

We seem to have entered an era when we can only prove our love with money.

You are so handsome that others look down on you. When a tree is big, it will always catch the wind, and when it is old, it will always prevent derailment.

You are the master of words before you say them, and you become the slave of words after you say them.

Life is painful, more painful than imagined; Life is happy, even happier than imagined.

A diploma, two languages (proficient in English), three bedrooms and one living room, four seasons famous brand, regular facial features, generous, with a monthly salary of 7 thousand, exquisite, nine (alcohol) non-smoking, very honest. -quotations from Shanghai girls' mate selection

Higher vocational education is inferior to high salary, high salary is inferior to longevity, and longevity is inferior to happiness.

Stealing one person's ideas is plagiarism, while stealing many people's ideas is research.

He must be older than me, even if it is only for one day; He must be taller than me, even if it is only one centimeter tall; He must be better than me, even if he only earns a penny more. -said a 38-year-old unmarried female white-collar worker in Guangzhou.

Farmers speak Northeast dialect, intellectuals speak Shanghai dialect, and the rich speak Guangzhou dialect. -netizens commented on the rules for the appearance of sketch characters.

Sometimes explanations are unnecessary-enemies don't believe your explanations, and friends don't need your explanations.

People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.

In the face of beautiful women, we are fidgeting.

All we have is a three-dimensional figure.

Where do aliens come from? From his stomach, of course.

The blogosphere is to gather people who spit out the same composition into a circle and then spit out.

This society is not very polite to me.

Advertising is to tell others that his money can still be spent like this.

Always drive your own car and always pump up your tires.

Customer service is to politely refuse your service.

The attitude towards intellectuals marks the degree of civilization of a nation; The attitude towards workers and peasants is to question the conscience of this nation.

No big deal. -breast enhancement products's slogan.

Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

Asking how sad you can be is like a eunuch going to a brothel!

Life is nothing more than making others smile and occasionally smiling at others.

Love is drinking poisonous wine with a smile!

It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose.

Women like men who feel safe; Men are often attracted to insecure women.

Love is not a refuge. If you take refuge in it, you will be thrown out.

The ex-girlfriend looks like a biological one, and the post-girlfriend looks like an adopted one.

Take someone else's road and let others have no way out!

Unconsciously, time flies by in a hurry, and life often lives in regret.

House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.

The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

God created men to make him lonely, and women to make him more lonely.

There may be several women who don't eat, and none who are not jealous.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Listen to you and leave me ten books!

As long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

Enemy or confidant, the less, the safer.

The forest is so big ~ I can't find a hanging tree!

Playing the fool, if done well, is a stupid thing. Well done, it is called deep.

There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money.

Half the books in the world are written by fools for fools.

Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

Animals are still a little pitiful, I don't, so I'm not an animal.

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

What I ate was grass, and what I squeezed out was acne.

Driving is not difficult, but there are new people.

Kong Yiji housekeeper Xianglinsao bodyguard Ah Q is behind me.

The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to eat in one place for a lifetime, but to eat there for a lifetime.

Serve heaven, not people. If it is arranged by heaven, I will bear it. If someone steps on it, I'll hit it.

Beauty can only be used to deceive men, and cleverness can be used to deceive the world.

Pat a limited amount of ass on a person's ass.

A great person like me, when I want someone to appreciate me, I will look in the mirror.

When a wise man is at his wit's end, the method that a fool comes up with must be the most useful!