Funny and humorous copy

1. I met my old classmate and his wife and children shopping in the street that day! Looking at his cute child, I said, Come on, let my uncle hug me. She said, no. I said: Uncle will take you to play. She still said: no. I praised my old classmates for their good tutoring! Classmate: Don't go too far, old classmate. She is already < P > eighteen.

2. On my birthday, I sent a message to my mother saying: Thank you for giving birth to me! My mother said: What? How do you say this? I said, well, today is my birthday, mom ... My mom said, Oh, hahaha, you're welcome! Born for fun.

3. In the first year of junior high school, my mother said to me: Look at Xiao Ming (my classmate), go to school so early every day, and look at you, staying in bed every day. In the second year of

, like Xiaoming, I went to school early every day to copy my homework.

4. One day, the pig gave the donkey a difficult problem, asking which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" is male and which is female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. The pig scolded: you are really an ass, man left and woman right!

5. I was just going downhill when I was practicing driving. As a result, I was so nervous that I didn't know why I slammed on the accelerator. The coach shouted: Brake, use the foot brake. I quickly opened the door and put one foot on the ground. The friction was like the devil's pace! After dragging for more than p>2 meters, it finally stopped! The coach was so scared that he took 1 yuan and asked me to buy him a box of Chinese pressure relief. At that time, I was very depressed. Why did I take toothpaste to calm my nerves?

6. When I was a child, my dad didn't want to go out, so he gave me some money to buy him a pack of cigarettes, and then gave me

5 cents to buy food every time. Now that I'm grown up and have a son, every time my son wants to buy a toy, he gives me 1 yuan. It's very atmospheric: Dad, my mother gave it to me. You go and buy a toy for me, and the rest will buy a pack of cigarettes yourself.

7. Go home with interns after work and wait for the bus at the bus stop. A beggar pushed the bowl to the intern to beg. At this time, the intern said unhurriedly: I don't want your money, and your money is not easy to come by. Give a beggar a blank stare ...

8. The art class is over. The girl accidentally saw the book that the boy dropped. . The girl was moved to cry and found the boy: Why don't you say you like me? Boy: What did you say? "The girl took out her notebook: Why do you draw me on every page? The boy was anxious to cry, so he had to tell the truth: because your face is round and beautiful!

9. The pressure on the northern police doubled, as if thieves from all over the country flocked overnight, and the burglary was followed by

two companies

three. A police officer caught a burglar and asked, Why did you all come to the north to commit crimes? Is it because northerners have money? Thief: No, it's because there is heating in the north room, so it's more convenient to move your hands. 1. My colleague brought a new car, and he was going to take a ride after work at night. When he got into the car, his stomach was uncomfortable and he farted. I quickly said: new cars smell big! My colleague said faintly: fortunately, I am not deaf, otherwise, I really thought that the new car smelled bad. Another hitchhiking colleague opened the car door at this moment and said, "Is your leather seat made of dung beetles leather?"? 11. When I was in college, I got up late one day, and everyone was busy. After washing, I picked up my books and ran to the classroom. After the teacher had been talking for about

5 minutes, a buddy in my dormitory strode into the classroom with bare arms and a toothbrush jar and a towel in his hand, and went straight to the dormitory boss and said, Boss, give me the dormitory key, and you locked me out. The whole class burst into laughter ...

12. I was so busy this morning that the manager suddenly ran into the office and asked me, Are you tired? Why don't I give you an hour's leave to have a rest? I am stupefied: Ah? It's only

after ten o'clock in the morning. Why are you talking in your sleep? The manager laughed: Your wife just called the front desk and said that she couldn't get through. You locked her at home all morning, and she told you to go home and die.

13. Once I got paid, I saw a beggar on the roadside and gave him two yuan. In the afternoon, I went to the bank to deposit money, and I met him again. He deposited

5,, and I deposited 1,. In the street, whenever a beggar shakes me with money in a bowl, I think he is showing off his wealth to me ... < P > 14. A buddy went to see a doctor. When he was auscultating, the doctor told him to open his clothes, and the buddy did. When the doctor looked, he asked you where your nipples were! . I thought it was acne, so I picked it up!

15. I once came out from the dining hall with a fat classmate. At that time, the road was slippery on rainy days. When I went down the steps, the fat man slipped and sat on the ground. The fat man stood up and patted his ass and said nothing ... At this moment, a sister next to him said weakly, classmate, the tile is broken ...