"Honey, let's take a trip before we get married." "Aren't you afraid that I will go back and divorce you?" Why?

Living in this world, we all follow our instincts and are eager to protect ourselves and be safe. From the moment we were born, we never stopped.

When I was a child, I always looked for my mother to comfort me. My mother's comfort can reassure a child.

When I am lonely, I curl up in bed tightly and draw a circle of friends with my mobile phone to relieve the emptiness for a moment.

When we are in love, we always want each other to stay with us. Even if the other party doesn't say anything, it can give us great courage.

There is a line in the play "Miss You": "A sense of security means that the person you need is always there."

Yes, the sense of security in feelings is nothing more than the person you like and the person you need. It is not that he needs to pay much to bring you a sense of security, but that as long as he is willing to stay quietly by your side, he will fill your inner sense of security.

Of course, many people will say that the sense of security is not given by others, but by themselves, but we must know that people who can give themselves a sense of security are, after all, a minority.

I don't agree with you either One person will be attached to another person's sense of security and will be happy for a long time.

What I think is that the person who really cares about you will take the initiative to eliminate all the uneasiness in your heart and make you feel safe.

0 1、

The other day, I attended a cousin's wedding.

Because my cousin is timid by nature, she thinks too much about many things and suspects many things that don't exist. She is insecure from being cautious, so she can get married and be happy, which is a relatively happy thing for our peers who are a little older than her.

I remember when we were young, she once played near the big water tank in her hometown, and then no one looked after her around. Fortunately, she was planted in that water tank and was found in time, that is, at that time, she stopped playing by the water.

Later, our peers were often told by their elders to take good care of her, which of course also had the reason that her parents worked in other places. It is difficult for them to meet several times a year.

Her childhood experience also made her very afraid of life. In addition to being with people we are familiar with, she will show a more active side, and she will keep a straight face and show some loneliness at ordinary times.

Then she went to other cities after going to college, and we reduced our intersection. I wonder if her temper has changed.

It was not until she got married a while ago that we began to know and chat. How can I put it?

Although I can find that she has changed, she is a little more cheerful and not as timid as before, but I can still feel that those essential things have not changed.

According to her, before her current husband, she talked about love twice, and the first one went well, but when she got married, she always found reasons to end the relationship from the attitude of the other party.

To put it bluntly, the other person's attitude can't reassure her.

At first, when she told us about it, most of us thought she was a little neurotic and sensitive to some things, and she didn't deny it herself.

But she also felt that there was a hole in her heart, and she didn't know when it started. People often ask her about this hole, and when she is not satisfied, she will feel empty with all her heart.

And the solution she thought of was to find someone she needed most to accompany her, so she had high expectations for marriage, and she was eager to fill the void through marriage.

For these reasons, she still has some high demands on men. After all, many men don't want to get married too early.

And when she told us that she was getting married, we were all surprised, what's more, she also said that the other person was a man about her own age.

Because I thought she would find a mature man a few years older than her, because then she could get the sense of security she wanted.

02、

As for my cousin, why did she successfully complete the wedding with her current boyfriend? We are puzzled, too.

For this problem, my cousin solved the problem for us later.

She told us that she made up her mind to get married because of the trip before marriage.

After about a year of acquaintance, she proposed to get married, and the other party readily agreed, and finally set a wedding date.

There is still some time to get married. During this time, she often feels a little confused. She knows that this is her old problem, and she will doubt something that doesn't exist for no reason, which makes her feel uneasy.

Perhaps it was her boyfriend who observed her change, and he sent her an invitation to travel before marriage.

My cousin said with a happy face that her boyfriend said directly to her, "Wife, let's travel before we get married!" " "She was very surprised when she heard this.

Because from the moment she knew him, her impression of him was that he was a kind of person with strong working ability and gentleness, but he had never done anything important, and sometimes he was a little naive, and the biggest reason why she chose him was because he did not reject early marriage.

So she never thought that he would make such a decision at such an important time. She asked each other, "Aren't you afraid that I will come back and divorce you?"

Although she knew it was not good to ask him this question, she still regretted asking it because of her bad habit.

The result was different from what she expected. The other party didn't feel any doubt, but directly and decisively said that she wasn't worried, and even confidently said, "Marry me, and you will definitely make money!"

Although his answer sounded a little naive, it deeply touched her heart. She said that at that time, she even felt that the piece that had been missing in her heart was filled at that moment.

Because, in the past, it was not often discussed on the internet that two people were suitable for marriage, and they would know it after a trip. When her boyfriend asked for a trip, her cousin knew in her heart that her boyfriend wanted her to know her determination to marry her.

So she accepted his invitation and started their premarital trip, which was also an opportunity for the couple to exercise.

She wants to believe in him, and he has the confidence to make her believe in herself, and after he takes action, she also tries to move towards the future he said.

During the trip, she even crossed the hurdle that could not be crossed for many years. Accompanied by him, she overcame her fear and took a step towards the sea.

During the trip, he would stay with her at night, listen to some stories about her past and her feelings, and then sometimes he would be moved to tears, which made her trust him more.

Cousin said that this trip, their hearts were pulled into the distance, even beyond the year they got along, which made them more stable.

Once, she hoped to tie a person she needed to her marriage to make up for the empty sense of security in her heart.

Now, she really loves him from the heart and simply wants to be with him.

The ending of the two of them was not bumpy or dull, but it was a complete success after all.

03、

Maggie Cheung once said:

"To have a sense of security. This kind of feeling comes from mutual trust, believing in yourself and trusting each other in order to get the best love. "

Yes, except that someone who really cares about you will give you a sense of security, two people should trust each other.

Only two people have tacit understanding. I believe that a sense of security can be obtained not only from him, but also from you.

After all, whether it is love or friendship, if you want to get along happily for a long time, you can't do without the words * * * into * * * back.

Finally, I hope everyone can gain a sense of security and love.