The incident of Xiaoyu falling from a building in Laiwu is thought-provoking. Do you understand the bullying of kindergarten teachers?

On October 16, 2020, a boy named Xiaoyu fell from the rooftop of a kindergarten in Laiwu, Shandong. After being rescued in the intensive care unit for half a month, the child's life still could not be saved.

Then on a social platform, countless people, including Xiaoyu’s mother, began to repost the pictures and texts, hoping to use the power of public opinion to seek justice for Brother Xiaoyu.

The reason why so many mothers support Xiaoyu’s mother is that, in addition to the sympathy for “my children and my children”, the deeper reason is that the majority of mothers want to see fairness and good education. sequential development.

The moment I decided to write this article, I burst into tears.

Because my daughter has also been bullied by teachers in kindergarten for a long time, which has caused the child to lose control of her emotions easily, unable to communicate with others normally, and even tired of studying, so I especially don’t want this to happen again.

In school bullying, teachers may also be the perpetrators.

Campus bullying is not only something that happens in junior high schools and high schools, but also in elementary schools and even kindergartens.

Campus bullying is by no means an unexpected incident. Things that make it to the press must have gone through preliminary preparations.

I write down what happened to my child in detail, hoping that everyone will understand the development process of the bullying incident.

I do not sell anxiety, I just hope that my experience can serve as a warning to everyone, and I hope it can promote the healthy development of education.

1

Attention should be paid to children’s abnormal behavior

Let me start with the problem I discovered.

After school started in September last year, my daughter was promoted to the top class of kindergarten.

When I pick her up after school every night, she often comes out with her little head drooped and her mouth pouted. On the way home, I asked her what happy things happened in school. She always said: "xx bullied me."

At first, I thought it was a conflict between children and didn't pay much attention to it. I just helped her analyze it in order to promote friendly relations between their classmates. host.

However, starting in late September, my daughter began to make noises and not go to school. She would not get up when she woke up in the morning, and she would cover her head in the quilt and sweat. Every morning, I had to coax and scare her before I could send her to kindergarten.

I also communicated with the head teacher countless times to understand my child's performance in kindergarten. The answers I got were: your child doesn’t listen in class and always says he wants to poop on his daddy; your child goes to the toilet to squat after lunch and drags two or three girls with him to chat; your child always pushes children from behind. ; Every time you stand in line, your child has to fight for first place...

I was particularly surprised to hear this. I feel that the teacher is not talking about my child, because I firmly believe that my child is not as "bad" as the teacher said. The teacher’s answer to me was “your child can pretend”.

No matter how outrageous it is, if the teacher says it every day, people will believe it.

During that time, I was particularly afraid of seeing messages from my class teacher on WeChat. The child cannot hear the words "Teacher H" at home. As soon as he hears these three words, the child will say: "She is unreasonable and I don't like her."

During that time, I watched There are many parenting books and TV programs that provide a lot of guidance on children's problems. But it didn't help. I even suspected that my child was an alien and couldn't use earth's methods to solve the problem.

2

An injury to a child made me start to examine the teacher’s behavior

On the second Wednesday in October, it was 11 o’clock in the evening, and the child never slept. Snuggle up next to me. After several urgings from me, the child cried loudly and said that his hand was broken. I took a look and saw a half-centimeter cut on the middle finger of my right hand. It was so shallow that it was almost invisible. But the child was so excited that I asked her what was going on.

She said that she did not stand in line when standing in line, and the teacher pulled her collar hard from behind. She took a few steps back and hit her hand against the wall. I asked her if she told the teacher? The child said he didn't dare. I find it incredible, but I believe in my own child because she never lies at home. I hugged the child tightly and told her: "Mom, I felt sorry for you when I saw you were hurt. I'll help you blow it. Can you tell me what happened to you at school?"

The child got it from me. In order to feel safe, she told me several things about how Teacher H treated her unfairly. The most common thing the child said was

At this time, I realized that there was something wrong with this teacher. But in an attitude of solving the problem, I communicated with the principal and Teacher H about the child's injury. The principal is determined to protect the teachers. Although Teacher H also apologized, what she said more was, "You don't know your child at all, she is very troublesome." I also told the teacher clearly: "My child is kind in nature and plays well with the neighbor's children. For a 6-year-old child, she does not have deep thoughts."

Although I am not convinced by the teacher's statement I didn’t agree, but the teacher apologized and promised to care more about the children in the future, so I didn’t say anything else.

3

The conflict with the children exposed the teacher’s educational shortcomings

On the last Tuesday in October, when I went to pick up my children, the deputy principal took me I was called into the kindergarten and told that my daughter hit a girl named Xiaohua and poked her eye. The other parent found the kindergarten.

I asked to see the surveillance camera, and from the surveillance camera, I did see my child poking the little flower. After the children get out of school, I ask them to talk about the reasons. The child said: "Xiaohua called me Zhu Bajie. I called the teacher, but the teacher ignored me, so I hit her the first time but missed. She then made faces at me and then scolded me, so I hit her again."

When the deputy director heard this, she was stunned for a moment. I concluded that she did not understand the truth at all. So I asked her: "What do you think about the cause of this incident? If Xiaohua had not cursed, would my daughter's beating incident not have happened?" The deputy principal hesitated and said, "Swearing is definitely wrong. Let's talk about it again." Communicate with the other parent."

After that, no one mentioned the matter again. It seems to have passed, but I also started to pay attention to the teacher's behavior. Every night, I chatted with the child and asked her what happened in the kindergarten. I also learned from the children that Teacher H had some inappropriate words and deeds.

As a mother, who can bear to hear these words? However, to be close to the teacher and believe in the teaching, I educate my children every day to understand the teacher. Because I am also a teacher, I warned myself: "The teacher's behavior is wrong, but I have to believe that the teacher did not mean it. How tiring it is for a kindergarten teacher to take care of more than 30 children. It is normal to be impatient sometimes. I am a teacher myself, and I I hope to get support from parents, and I also want to support teachers.”

4

Bullying will not end automatically, it will only get worse

November 11, I remember this day clearly. After school that day, I suddenly received a call from Xiaohua’s mother, saying that my daughter scratched Xiaohua’s neck. The other party was very emotional and spoke sharply. But I choose to believe in my children and understand the truth.

I called the head teacher. The head teacher said that my daughter did it on purpose and suddenly scratched her. She also said that she could no longer control my daughter. She handed the matter over to the deputy director. I asked the deputy director, and he also said that my daughter was wrong.

After hearing my teacher and I talking on the phone, my daughter was very excited and threw toys at home. She said: "The teacher is unreasonable and Xiaohua lied. It's not my fault."

After my daughter calmed down, I realized the cause of the matter, which was really a small thing. When we were standing in line, Xiaohua stood in front of my daughter. There were three or four people's spaces in front of her, but Xiaohua didn't move forward. My daughter reminded her to follow her, but the child said, “I won’t leave.

"My daughter told the teacher first, and the teacher said, "Little Hua, go forward," and then went to do other things. But Xiao Hua just didn't go forward. After urging her several times, my daughter became anxious and wanted to push her forward, but the result It hit my neck.

Later, I asked the director to retrieve the surveillance video, and it was exactly what my daughter said.

I also had a deep conversation with the director. , I was shocked when I talked about it. The principal said a lot of things to the effect that

This incident made me see clearly the level of teachers in this kindergarten and I was completely disappointed.

5

Carefully choose a kindergarten to protect your child’s growth

The day after I received the call from Xiaohua’s mother, I stopped letting my child go to this kindergarten. I asked around, and finally. I chose the "Yueer Education Practice Park". This is the first kindergarten in our area that uses educational concepts to manage teachers and educate children.

Principal Wu told me: I am the child's important other person. , what can change children is not only the environment, but also my education method. She guides me how to help children change from the three perspectives of "unconditional love", "acceptance" and "respect"

As a principal in Wuyuan. Under the guidance of my child’s head teacher, Mr. Cui, my child and I stepped out of that shadow step by step.

Now the child has learned to express his emotions, learned to get along well with children, and has regained his interest in learning. Interest.

6

Advice for parents

First, as parents, we must learn parenting knowledge

Second, no matter how busy you are at work, you must pay attention to your children and learn more about their children's affairs at school.

Third, parents must believe that if a conflict occurs, they will not know all the facts. Beforehand, stand firmly by your child's side, even if it turns out that your child is at fault, you must stand on the same front as your child and bear the consequences together.

Fourth, if your child is bullied. , parents should bring sunshine into their children's hearts.

My daughter now occasionally mentions how the teacher was not good to her in the past. Every time I hear such words, I want to tear that teacher to pieces or ask her for help. Report it to the relevant authorities. But I held back and maintained extreme restraint.

I would patiently listen to the child and then hug her and say, "Mom, I can feel what you said. How lonely and scared I was. You have to know that your mother will always protect you, and if anything like this happens in the future, tell her immediately. You see, how kind Teacher Cui is to you now. There are still many good teachers in the school. ”

I hope all children in the world can have a happy childhood.