Deyun fan·He Shang's best distance

Popularization of knowledge before the article: I am quoting the views of American anthropologist Edward Hall - in his view, the interpersonal relationships and the environment between the two parties determine the self-space between each other. He divided this space range into four types of distances. Each distance is commensurate with the relationship between the other party. These four types of people's individual space needs are: public distance, social distance, personal distance, and intimate distance. .

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He Jiuhua discovered a problem: Shang Jiuxi’s interpersonal distance was nearly one-third greater than that of ordinary people.

"Feet are the most honest part of our body"

He Jiuhua forgot which psychology book he read this sentence from, but no matter where it was from , he thought it was quite reasonable.

The first time I noticed it was at a party.

He Jiuhua did not expect to meet Shang Jiuxi that day. He was originally invited by his friends to join in the fun, but as soon as he entered the door, his eyes were fixed on Shang Jiuxi, who was standing in the corner of the hall wearing a black striped suit. On the body.

He Jiuhua found it interesting because he remembered that Shang Jiuxi didn't like such occasions, let alone wearing formal clothes. Generally speaking, he would rather sit on his sofa and read a book or draw. After asking around, it turned out that there was a niche painter he liked.

He Jiuhua is a man who eats everywhere. Seeing that Shang Jiuxi was talking enthusiastically, he didn't bother him and went to drink and chat on his own.

In fact, He Jiuhua only wandered upstairs and downstairs twice. It was really because there were so many people that he was forced to wander twice absentmindedly. As a result, it took only an hour to wait for He Jiuhua to come again. When he saw Shang Jiuxi, that man was surrounded by several girls dressed voluptuously due to his inexplicable charm.

Of course, the first reaction was to block the group of girls, but after He Jiuhua took two steps in that direction with the remaining half glass of red wine, he stepped back and leaned against the wine glass. A small bar counter watched Shang Jiuxi retreating step by step with interest.

Shang Jiuxi didn’t know why these girls came to him. After all, apart from talking to a few painters and a few friends whom he didn’t know very well, he didn’t know. Drinking your own juice and eating your own pastries in peace.

It was okay at first. After all, we were in the same place, so we couldn’t be too far away from anyone, but at least we were still within the social distance of Shang Jiuxi - he specially picked one with his back to the corner. A relatively large round table should at least have a table as a partition.

Originally, there was only one person who talked to him, and he sat across from him very knowingly, but then the increase in the number of people forced the people on both sides to get closer and closer to him, and Shang Jiuxi began to feel uncomfortable.

Shang Jiuxi quietly pulled the glass with only a little juice left to the edge of the table in front of him - the girl next door got closer;

Shang Jiuxi Shang Jiuxi began to quietly exert force on her feet and moved the chair back a little bit - the other girl next door came a little closer;

Shang Jiuxi originally wanted to endure it, but the girls on both sides simply sat down on their sides. , almost close to him, and the chair under him finally leaned against the wall and could not retreat. Shang Jiuxi finally picked up the cup and stood up and continued to retreat.

Of course the girls were surprised. They probably didn’t expect that in this era there would be men who only drink juice and don’t want to touch girls.

Shang Jiuxi himself has a very well-educated character, but being too close to a stranger made him almost breathless. He finally retreated to a distance that was out of reach, apologized, and walked to another quiet corner.

The last sip of red wine in He Jiuhua's cup was left, and he hung up the wall of the cup without rhythm and slid back to the bottom.

Shang Jiuxi’s personal distance in interpersonal communication is roughly equivalent to other people’s social distance?

Interesting.

He Jiuhua watched Shang Jiuxi lean away and stand upright while leaning against the bar. The tip of his tongue pressed against his cheek failed to cover up his smile, and he drank the last sip of red wine in the glass. .

The second time I noticed it was the team building of the seven teams.

Who is He Jiuhua closest to in Team 7?

Qin Xiaoxian! Shang Jiuxi answered without even thinking.

Can you accept that two grown men are cheek to cheek without even trying to hide? Can you accept a big man rushing up to you and hugging you, not pushing you away but subconsciously protecting you? Can you accept being hugged by another grown man and sleeping in the same bed?

Hey~ Shang Jiuxi can’t.

Even if they are familiar people, Shang Jiuxi will not easily put their arms around each other. Half an arm's length is the smallest intimate distance he can accept.

So on the day of the team building, there was a two-meter sofa with one meter free in the middle - at one end was Shang Jiuxi who didn't want to drink and was browsing his mobile phone alone, and at the other end was Zheng Jiuxi who seemed to be glued together while drinking. Happy He Jiuhua and Qin Xiaoxian.

Zhang Jiutai tricked his second brother into singing a love song to him on another sofa; Fangfang pretended to be drunk and hugged Guo Xiaohan, who was also drunk and refused to let go; Xiaoma and Yi Ge had just hooked up. Not so blatantly, just sitting quietly next to each other watching others laughing, and whispering from time to time; Sun Jiuxiang has long been accustomed to Qin Xiaoxian's noodle look when He Jiuhua is around, and he dotes on the children when they like to play, During the break between singing and drinking, I replaced the wine the children drank with low-alcohol drinks...

So Sang Jiuxi is the only one who neither drinks nor sings, but we have known each other for a long time. , had long been accustomed to completely ignoring his situation, but she didn't let him get away. After all, in the end, Shang Jiuxi had to throw the drunken and disowned family into the car home.

He Jiuhua looked the same as usual that day, but in fact, every time he saw someone sitting next to Shang Jiuxi, and Shang Jiuxi quietly moved to the corner of the sofa, He Jiuhua's smile deepened more than a little.

Well, Shang Jiuxi’s intimate distance is roughly between the intimate distance and personal distance of normal people.

The third time I noticed it was at He Jiuhua’s house.

In fact, the second and third times were right next to each other, because Shang Jiuxi had to send his "drunk" partner home.

As expected, Shang Jiuxi stayed up until the second half of the night, frowning dutifully, carrying his teammates and throwing them into the car they had ordered in advance, and finally returned to the private room to grab the baby lying on the sofa. He Jiuhua, who was unconscious.

He Jiuhua, who was pretending to be drunk, clearly felt that Shang Jiuxi stood in front of the sofa and looked at him for a long time, and then sighed. But he pretended to be drunk and lay there with his eyes closed, wondering what kind of expression Shang Jiuxi had.

So He Jiuhua was still in a panic. He was afraid that Shang Jiuxi would look at him with the same frowning but helpless expression as the others.

So he rolled over half-heartedly, but it turned out that he might have drunk a little too much. His body instantly lost weight and he almost came into close contact with the floor.

Almost?

Yes, because Shang Jiuxi caught the person back in time and took him into his arms.

He Jiuhua's half-drunk consciousness instantly returned to most of his consciousness, and he could clearly feel the steamy breath spraying on the side of his neck, and the gradually tightening of his arms at his waist.

But He Jiuhua didn't dare to make a move, absolutely, he didn't dare.

However, the time was short. Shang Jiuxi's restrained hug lasted only a few seconds. Then he let go and put the person's arm on his shoulder. He held He Jiuhua's beautiful hand hanging from his shoulder with one of his own. , the other arm was placed on He Jiuhua's lean waist to give him support.

Then it was as usual, only He Jiuhua enjoyed the differential treatment of being sent home by Shang Jiuxi personally.

He Jiuhua let Shang Jiuxi put him in the car and take him home. All he could think about was how Shang Jiuxi had retreated step by step when facing the girl before. Only Shang Jiuxi quietly retreated when his teammates approached. The shrunken feet and frowning brows, the last brief hug and the breath hitting the ear.

It was rare that He Jiuhua's brain was not shut down by alcohol. He stopped him at the last second when Shang Jiuxi covered him with a quilt, turned off the lights and walked out of the bedroom.

The moment He Jiuhua called out his name, Shang Jiuxi almost understood that He Jiuhua was pretending to be drunk, or at least he was still conscious but only half drunk.

The feet are more honest than the heart. Shang Jiuxi had already agreed to He Jiuhua's call and turned around before thinking about whether to turn around.

He Jiuhua was a little dizzy, lifted the quilt and got out of bed, stood there and hesitated for two seconds, then took two steps closer to Shang Jiuxi, but Shang Jiuxi did not move.

Normal, his social distance, He Jiuhua thought silently in his heart.

He Jiuhua took two big steps closer to Shang Jiuxi, but Shang Jiuxi did not move.

Normal, his personal distance, He Jiuhua thought silently in his heart.

He Jiuhua looked down at the two people's toes, which were almost touching, and found that Shang Jiuxi still hadn't moved.

Abnormal, his close distance, He Jiuhua thought silently in his heart.

He Jiuhua took a deep breath, took a step back, and prepared to look up at Shang Jiuxi's expression.

But before He Jiuhua had time to see whether Shang Jiuxi was frowning, Shang Jiuxi's face had already enlarged and appeared in his pupils.

Shang Jiuxi took a big step in the direction of He Jiuhua.

Later, He Jiuhua told Shang Jiuxi about this matter. Shang Jiuxi thought about it and replied:

It's probably due to the conservation of energy. I am farther away from others. A little, a little closer to you.