Degang Guo's Old Crosstalk Lines

Degang Guo is a famous crosstalk master. The following are the related articles of Degang Guo's old crosstalk lines that I collected for you. I hope I can help you. If you feel good, you can share it with more friends!

Degang Guo's old crosstalk lines A: Crosstalk pays attention to speaking, learning and singing.

B: That's right.

A: This song is the lyrics of Taiping.

This is our singing.

A: Sing some Taiping lyrics for everyone. I don't know if you want to listen, listen or listen.

Are they all willing to listen? You sing.

A: Taiping lyrics are divided into old and new, and the new lyrics are afraid that everyone will not accept them.

Do you have a new one?

A: Yes, one of your other disciples.

I haven't heard of it. who is it?

A: Brother Jielun.

B: Brother Jielun?

A: With his other disciples, his name is Jieshou.

Me?

A: Jielunge has a Taiping lyric.

How do you sing?

Answer: (singing) Use nunchakus quickly, hehe, hehe.

B: Is that all? This is disturbing you.

A: This is both new and old. There are many of them. There is a passage called "The Legend of the White Snake", which is very pleasant to sing.

B: You sing.

I have a bad voice recently. If I can't sing well, please forgive me and criticize myself more.

B: You sang it wrong. What are people criticizing?

A: (Singing) The beauty of Hangzhou is unparalleled. The exotic flowers and grasses by the West Lake are fragrant all year round. In spring, Su Causeway is pink green. In summer, lotus flowers are reflected all over the pool. In autumn, the moon is as clear as water. In winter, the hills are covered with snow. You can clap.

B: clap your hands after singing these words.

A: It's too long. It's almost the New Year after singing.

B: Yes.

A: It's good to listen to cross talk more. It can cure diseases.

Really?

A: If you are in a bad mood, you will have fun and no worries when you listen to cross talk.

B: That's right.

A: But if you are really sick, you must go to the hospital for treatment.

B: Yes.

Now, medicine is very developed. Any disease, any organ change, serious illness or minor illness can be treated. You used to imagine, changing organs.

Never heard of it.

A: For example, B's heart is broken. What should the doctor say? (Abdominal incision) This one is broken and rotten.

B: that's not so fast.

A: Cut it off. It is empty. Let's put the watch aside and let it jump. A wolf died in the zoo. I'll cut off that heart, put it on you, sew it up and leave the hospital.

B: All right.

A: Well, I got up at three o'clock in the evening and went to the Woods to see the moon.

B: OK, OK, as long as my eyes don't change color.

A: That's what I mean. Organ transplantation was unthinkable in the past. Both arms and legs are fine.

B: These limbs will do.

A: Yes. After the performance, everyone left, driving Mercedes-Benz and BMW. You are an old artist.

B: You have to drive well.

A: By bike.

You might as well drive a tractor.

A: At first glance, there is a girl in front. Seen from the back, she is beautiful with long hair fluttering. When she looks at her, she looks, oh, so beautiful. We must catch him.

What do you mean by catch?

Answer: Pedal (action)

I had a hard time.

Come to the front (action)

I don't watch the road.

She looks just like Sister Furong.

This is a waste of time.

That's disgusting. It scared him. As soon as he braked, he flew out. A car on the sidewalk comes and passes your arm. The driver stopped and went the wrong way.

B: Give it back to me.

A: That's right. Alas, it's still wrong.

Have you thought about it before you leave?

A: An hour.

B: Just to crush me.

My arm was crushed.

B: That's not bad.

A: People are watching. The bus has left.

B: Just wait for the bus to leave.

Help! You've squashed that rascal.

B: Nobody makes a hullabaloo about like that.

A: (ambulance sounds)

B: Here it is.

The ambulance is coming. As soon as the door opened, two little nurses came down, like fairies.

B: It's beautiful.

He's beautiful. He is 1.78 meters tall, with a beard on his cheeks, a slap to protect his heart, and two hairtail tattoos on his body.

B: Do you have striped hairtail?

A: Take a big leather bag and wear a pair of plastic shoes. Where is it? Where is the pressure?

B: Here comes the pig slayer.

A: Lift you up, throw you into the car and close the door (ambulance sounds).

B: It was sent to the slaughterhouse.

A: I was taken to the hospital. The doctor said it needed to be amputated. I need an injection first. Stay there.

B: Lie down.

Take off your pants (action)

Not that much.

A: You practice changing your face.

B: What's the change of face? this is

A: The doctor took out a pen (circled).

B: the doctor's eyes.

A: Injection.

Oh, can you stand it?

A: Amputation. Open the refrigerator.

B: Why?

A: Looking for a chainsaw.

The chainsaw is in the refrigerator.

Hairtail, kebab and shrimp. Oh, here they come. Have a drink (water spray).

B: why is that?

A: Disinfection

B: You might as well not sterilize it.

A: Come on, two nurses press (action).

This is cutting meat.

A: Take a new arm and put it on. It's pickled.

B: How about opening a shop in Sun Erniang?

Answer: Tighten the screws. All right.

B: That's good.

A: Writing, playing computer and playing the piano.

B: Musical instruments will do.

A: Work (action)

This is the way you work.

A: Well, show me your hand. It's just like real, isn't it?

B: This is a good player.

A: Legs will do.

Really?

Well, you're in the wild again.

I don't remember.

A: There is a big high wall in front, two windows, steam, water and people talking.

What do you mean?

A: Second sister, rub my back. This is the legendary female bathhouse. Let's have a look (action)

B: Why high school and low school?

A: Something is wrong. It's fake.

B: OK.

Alas, the boiler room, that window is. When I came down, there were eight security guards standing on the ground. Why? Pannv bathhouse

B: How silly of me.

A: Run.

B: Yes.

A: You run from Shaoxing to Hebei in three minutes.

B: Soon.

A: (gasping)

I can't breathe.

A big truck came and hit it. It was dark, and it took you five minutes to realize (touching your head) that it was okay.

Everything is fine.

Well, whose foot is that? (jump)

B: I didn't know when I jumped over.

You want to know.

B: Not surprising.

A: Well, these shoes are very similar to mine. Untie your shoelaces. Alas, the socks are the same as mine. Oh, my foot.

B: Isn't it?

A: what about saving people?

That's what I call it. This is a long process.

Answer: (ambulance) Two nurses came down, two of them lost their cheeks and beards, slapped them to protect their hearts, and one or two of them were thrown into the car (ambulance).

B: To the hospital.

The doctor is eating. He came earlier today than yesterday. What happened? Broken leg, amputation. Go down (act)

B: Come on, come on, you've changed your face.

Answer: Draw a circle, give an injection, rummage through the freezer, find a chainsaw, press (saw) the old one and pickle it.

B: Go ahead, that's it.

The new one will be installed soon. Just tighten the screws.

B: That was quick.

A: Not only that, but also the brain.

B: Boss?

Of course, your leg is healed, and you can go back to the wild again.

I'm still going out.

A: Sitting on the roadside, it's not time to get off work, and the girls haven't come out yet.

B: I came to see that girl.

A: In the back building, a cement slab fell and weighed more than 4,000 kilograms. You want to know why it is dark.

B: What's the matter?

A: I lost my head when I touched it with my hand.

I lost my mind.

A: It's stuck in the chest.

I'm stuck.

A: (covering his mouth) Help! Somebody please.

Okay, okay, stop yelling.

A: It's boring.

B: nonsense, it's all in my chest, and it's not boring.

A: (ambulance sounds) Two little nurses come down.

B: It belongs to those two slaughterhouses.

A: Long hair, thick eyebrows, big eyes and small cherry mouth. Put on your miniskirt and come here.

B: Hey, ok.

A: Have a look.

I can't see. It's all in. What should I see?

A: Get in. (ambulance voice) You are in the hospital. The doctor is eating. I knew you would come.

B: Why does this doctor always eat?

A: pry your head out, cut it off, and replace it with a new one, using strokes of eyebrows and eyes. You can count this one.

B: All right.

A: Dead.

Degang Guo Old Crosstalk Line 2 Degang Guo: There are many people coming.

Yu Qian: Hey, it's all full today.

Degang Guo: I'd like to introduce the famous crosstalk performer sitting next to me.

Yu Qian: I dare not.

Degang Guo: Donkey money.

Yu Qian: Donkey money! Yu!

Yu:? Yes, sloppy fish.

Yu Qian: Mahu still wants donkeys, so, dry ditch.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian. Crosstalk is really good.

Yu Qian: You flatter me.

Degang Guo: I am very happy to return to my hometown to perform.

Yu Qian: Are you at home?

Degang Guo: I've been playing somewhere else some time ago. Long time no see, I feel very confused.

Yu Qian: Competition? What race are you playing against?

Degang Guo: You don't know what our country is doing these days?

Yu Qian: We are hosting the Olympic Games.

Degang Guo: Yes, isn't the Olympic Games a competition?

Yu Qian: Oh, did you go to see the Olympic Games?

Degang Guo: Look! You don't know me?

Yu Qian: No.

Degang Guo: No culture! Don't you usually read newspapers and TV?

Yu Qian: Look, I didn't notice you. What do you do?

Degang Guo: I-I-I'm embarrassed to say that my career is great for fear of scaring you.

Yu Qian: Don't scare me if you speak boldly.

Degang Guo: Then I really said it.

Yu Qian: You said you said.

Degang Guo: I'm a football player! You said this thing, which reason?

Yu Qian: Oh, you are a football player.

Degang Guo: Why don't I sign it for you?

Yu Qian: No need. You are not Beckham. What's the use of asking for your autograph?

Degang Guo: Really? Don't regret it. When I become famous and a star, I won't need it. You don't even have room for me.

Yu Qian: Then I'll often run to bars, and maybe I'll meet you again.

Degang Guo: Yes, you are familiar with life in our circle. Have you ever played football before?

Yu Qian: Who is it? People all over the country know where to find you. The media reports it every day.

Degang Guo: You don't know, do you? Actually.

I didn't play football before.

Yu Qian: So what do you do?

Degang Guo: After graduating from junior high school, I worked in a bathhouse.

Yu Qian: Please wait! Does anyone in the bathhouse want a child like you? The law doesn't allow it.

Degang Guo: Well, I'm not young. I was 2 1 that year.

Yu Qian: You just graduated from junior high school 2 1.

Degang Guo: Well, you started school at the age of seven, with eight years in primary school and six years in junior high school, which is exactly 265,438+0.

Yu Qian: You have been in school for a long time.

Degang Guo: After working in the bathhouse for a while, I found a problem.

Yu Qian: What's the problem?

Degang Guo: People who come here are very rich.

Yu Qian: That's true. Ordinary people go to their homes.

Degang Guo: They all live in buildings and drive cars. How rich they are! When can I be so rich?

Yu Qian: You can also work hard by yourself.

Degang Guo: At the turning point of my life, I met a noble man.

Yu Qian: Who did you meet?

Degang Guo: Your father?

Yu Qian: Does my father go to that place?

Degang Guo: Not only that, but also our distinguished guests. All ladies can order what they want.

Yu Qian: gnome male-",don't say this.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian's father, Wang's father, this old man-

Yu Qian: Wait a minute! My surname is Yu, and my father's surname is Wang.

Degang Guo: Father?

Yu Qian: Which one? Just one!

Degang Guo: Yu Lao. This old man is really a good man.

Yu Qian: Do good people go to that place?

Degang Guo: That night, the old man finished steaming in the sauna and went into the massage room. He pointed at me and said, Degang, Degang, come in and rub it for me.

Yu Qian: Let you pinch?

I also want to know. Is it for a change?

Yu Qian: What a mess!

Degang Guo: When he entered the massage room, he was already lying on the massage chair. I was holding it for him when the old man asked me, Degang, I think you are sad all day. If anything bothers you, tell my brother.

Yu Qian: Brother? What a generation this is!