Funny copywriting in life

1.20 16 was fooled by monkeys 1 year, 20 17 failed to catch the chicken party, and 20 18 failed to get lucky. Now I only hope that 20 19 can live as happy as a pig.

I really don't understand who can only turn food into shit, and who is qualified to laugh at a person who turns food into meat.

When someone hates you, it is better to reflect on yourself. Are you kind, cute and perfect enough to make people jealous?

I just did a divination for myself. The five elements are short of housing, life is short of land, Cary is short of money, and love is short of love. I count with my fingers. This divination is really accurate. It hurts everywhere except nobody.

Don't be fat, or no one will believe you are a beggar when you are poor.

6. RMB has long been hinted at. If you have less money, you will go to see the mountains and water, and if you have more money, you will go to see the house and buy a house.

7. Others fall in love by looks, routines and money. And I am much simpler, because I am blind.

8. Mom said, don't be puppy love. You're talking about someone else's husband in the future. Hearing this, I am very excited to think of other people's husbands.

9. True love is that he can walk through the long legs of millions of beautiful women in Qian Qian and see at a glance that you are rough, wild and have no connotation.

10. In fact, Tang Priest is also very sexy. If you meet something that doesn't look good, you are called a bodhisattva.

1 1. Marry me, wash the dishes if you want, wash the clothes if you want, and mop the floor if you want. Isn't that free enough?

12. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby.

13. I have read a sentence: the more you show off, the more you lack. But I think: the more we lack something, the more we feel that others are showing off something.

14. Every time I go to the ATM to withdraw money, I always withdraw 100, but the ATM sounds like it will give me tens of thousands of dollars.

15. There are few interesting and single-minded people in this world, just like you can't find delicious and non-fat snacks.

16. I got ten points in the exam and was scolded by my parents. Dad kicked me first: disappointing thing! Mom went on to say, you were kicked by a donkey by that score.

17. In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age was not a problem. Now as long as the feelings are true, gender is not a problem.

18. I can't afford the AA system now. I invented the AAB system, which is your AA. I'm embarrassed to go.

19. Good-looking people will be inexplicably attached with many attributes, such as intelligence, kindness and cuteness ... kowtowing is practical!

20. Don't worry about girls with fat hands and thick arms. The gold ring bracelet from my boyfriend will be bigger in the future!

2 1. Women in the new era got the hall, climbed the fence, beat the mistress, beat the hooligan, but couldn't get out of the kitchen.

22. I wanted to buy a down jacket, but it cost more than 3000 yuan. Later, after careful measurement, cold medicine is only a few tens of dollars, and it is still cost-effective to buy cold medicine.

23. I am a very emotional person. When my feelings are lost, I find that I am a very heavy person!

24. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother. When I grow up, I am called a rabbit. Now I'm single dog. My life is an animal history!

25. A "study" found that people with messy beds are 50% more creative than those with neat beds; People who are often late have a 70% higher sense of humor than those who are not late; People who eat more have 90% higher EQ than those who eat less. The study also found that forgetful people are more indifferent to utility; People who love to sleep late are more compassionate. Oh, I became excellent if I was not careful!