We slept together for the first time, what’s wrong with that?

In the president's backstage message, a question with a relatively high click rate is:

How long is the most suitable time for couples to have sex together?

@ bold love?

I have sex with someone I’ve only known for a short time. Am I being disrespectful?

@干目丶 sadness

The third date is... is it too soon?

@下注级花

Chapter What is the probability that two people who fall in love with each other after meeting each other will end up together?

Many people believe that if an intimate relationship occurs too quickly, the level of love will become low.

However, the president believes that the depth of love should not be measured by the length of time together; similarly, whether you should sleep with your boyfriend should not be measured by the length of time.

So, the advice given by the president is very simple: sleep! You can sleep whenever you want!

We are all adults, and when the love is strong, it is okay to have fun. As long as we do not constrain ourselves by being weak, there will be no one who loses and who gains.

After all, at that moment, everyone was happy, right?

What are you worried about?

There are usually two worries behind girls asking this question:

1. Want to sleep, but are afraid of meeting a scumbag - the kind who will trick you into going to bed and run away if he succeeds ;

2. If you want to sleep, you are worried that it is too easy to get a man, and he will not cherish you in the future, or even look down on you;

The president feels that from the perspective of needs and pleasure, it is better to have sex. This matter is just an interaction, no one takes advantage of the other when it comes to love between a man and a woman.

But there is no denying that there is indeed a common situation. Before sleeping with you, he talks sweetly and is always available; after sleeping, he will quickly run away and evaporate from the world, and slowly his love will fade away. He will not see you for three days, lose contact for five days, and slowly fade out of your world.

In this case, there are generally two possibilities:

1. This man has really bad character and just wants to sleep with you. So I’ll coax you to finish the meal, then wipe my mouth and leave.

2. This man may not be a scumbag. It may be that you are not harmonious in bed. For any normal man, this is one of the core reasons why he cannot continue holding hands.

So, confused! Should this sheet be rolled out and when?

The answer is still, sleep! Go to sleep if you want!

Reason? (The key point of knocking on the blackboard: safety is the main premise, and condoms are the basis of all plots.)

?The first type is that you want to sleep, but you are afraid of meeting a scumbag

This situation , you can spend a lot of time observing, but people who are good at pretending won’t let you see the problem.

If the other party is a scumbag, he may tolerate it for a month, three months or even half a year. This does not change his nature of playing around with women, but it only proves that this big bad wolf is very patient.

You may also miss a good man who really likes you.

The kind of relationship expert who advises you to procrastinate for a year and a half probably doesn't understand men's impulses - there are many normal men, and they really can't suppress themselves for so long, okay?

The longer you wait, the worse it will be for you.

Women are more emotional, and your attachment to him will increase as time goes by.

If the other person just wants to 419, you can know everything by looking at his reaction after sleeping. Doesn’t this save you a lot of time and harm?

Besides, many big bad wolf lives may not be good. At this time, it is time for you to consider breaking up.

The second type is that you want to sleep, but you are worried that you will be underestimated after sleeping.

In this case, you are worried that it is too easy for a man to get it, and he will not cherish you in the future, or even underestimate you, which will affect Your relationship develops.

Let’s listen to several people who have been there share their experiences of having sex.

Celine, 28 years old, Hangzhou

Time together: 6 years

First time having sex: the second day

The first day we met, we had dinner and chatted across the road. We met again the next day and slept together. And now it’s been four years and I’m ready to get married.

I think having sex early is actually very helpful in accelerating the development of the relationship between the two.

We are in a long-distance relationship, and to be honest, if we had not established an intimate relationship so early, I think we might not have had enough foundation to deal with the pressure and difficulties of a long-distance relationship.

Shasha, 30 years old, Shanghai

Time together: 3 years

First time having sex: after 3 dates

We slept together after 3 dates. In fact, I wanted to sleep together on the first date, but I didn't think it was suitable. I was wondering if I should be more reserved like a 'normal' girl? I consulted many of my best friends, and everyone said I should wait.

Now I find that this is not the case at all!

Aly, 25 years old, Beijing

Time together: 3 years

First time having sex: 1 month later

Emm, I've been waiting for a month. It wasn't intentional. We started dating at the beginning of December, and there were so many things happening at the end of the year... so we didn't have the chance to do it until a month later.

During that time, we happened to develop a good emotional foundation for each other, understood each other's likes and dislikes, and then discovered that our interests and hobbies overlapped. All in all, I am personally quite satisfied with this pace of interaction.

Therefore, there is no definite time for how long it takes to have sex.

Because what we are talking about is not standards, but understanding, respect and freedom.

It is natural and normal to have a relationship if you like and have the will. Why do you have to set the standards? Why can’t you kiss after the third meeting and go to bed after the sixth meeting?

There is no right or wrong in love. As long as you feel that you will not regret and be happy, you can be more intimate at any time without being restricted by rules.

Of course, the main premise of all this is that you must protect your body.

The real thing comes naturally - not forcing the other person with your own desires, but taking into account the other person's feelings.

This is not a simple request for sex, but an expression of love