Avoid "resistance" to lovers.

There are often lovers who say they have paid a lot, but they avoid talking about it but don't appreciate it. There is even some "ignorance" confrontation. It leads to a backlog of grievances, helplessness and anger in the hearts of gift givers.

Let's talk about some misunderstandings about giving:

Is it selfless dedication?

A friend said, "I am a dedicated personality" and "I can't help putting the needs of ta in the first place". In fact, people who have this idea subconsciously think that giving is the expression of love, and giving is equal to love, which is a fearless character of dedication and sacrifice.

What will happen if you stop giving? May be considered a selfish and heartless person. In the contest between selfish desires and inner "moral judgment", sometimes giving is not "I want to do this" but "I have to do this". Misunderstanding of giving will create a new problem-the true self is suppressed.

When we often say that we love ourselves and respect our feelings, we don't mean to lose our temper with ourselves and let our emotions spread. It refers to whether a thing is done from the heart, and the premise of paying is not to sacrifice your true feelings. For example, couples from different places want to live together and have a good career development. How to choose? I mainly look at my personal development plan and what kind of life I want from my heart.

If you like family life and are willing to give it to your family, you will find a sense of existence and happiness when you return to your family. If you suppress your true feelings just because of the idea of "I have to do this or I will do it" and "I have to make personal sacrifices", then the grievances and repression will not disappear. Your subconscious will need more attention or care from the other side to alleviate this injustice and depression. Can you avoid it?

There is a good chance that he won't. Their choices are heartfelt, self-conscious, unfamiliar and incomprehensible. Sometimes, even if it touches my heart, it just stops at my heart and my mouth can be sealed.

Why did the other party refuse my kindness?

Another thing to note is that "there is no clear boundary between care and control". The other party cares when it needs it and controls when it doesn't need it. When avoiding feeling that this kind of kindness is "you pay too much" or "I don't want it, I have to", will being highly sensitive to control make them question their care? Love me or control me? You can compare with others at the dinner table, which will be very different from what you want to eat.

A neglected important contribution

Being good to yourself and making yourself happy is also a kind of pay. "A happy wife is usually loved by her partner more than a hardworking but nagging wife." For avoidance, the atmosphere of getting along is the first.

If you say "I can't think of anything more important than meeting and paying for ta", then you must try to find other sources of happiness. When your gestures are full of happiness, joy and love for life, this is your emotional value and a contribution. In order to avoid rain, an umbrella is used in rainy days.