What should I do with my mother-in-law?

/0823 DD 54564 e 92588 a 898d 279782d 158 cdbf 4 EBD？ X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 450, h _ 600, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85 In Beijing, I met Li Jian (a pseudonym).

It's been a year since I last saw him. Now that I see him in high spirits, I feel that I get along well.

I asked him about his recent work, and he joked, "Let's not talk about such a heavy topic. Let's relax. I'll tell you how I handled my mother-in-law. "

I am very interested in this topic. His girlfriend is his junior, an excellent girl. They talked for several years and had a good relationship.

However, the girlfriend's family is very opposed to them being together.

Girlfriend family condition is very good, intellectual family, grandpa Tsinghua graduated, stayed in the Soviet Union as an engineer, and grandma was a young lady of a big family.

She is the only child in the family, and the family has three rigid requirements for the future son-in-law: she can't find a Henan person; Can't find rural people; No brothers or sisters.

Isn't this naked discrimination? However, a mother-in-law always asks for a son-in-law, all for the happiness of her daughter.

However, Li Jian was shot. He is from Henan, from the countryside, and has a younger brother. Her girlfriend looked for it completely backwards, and she was not asked to look for it at home, so she just found some at random.

My girlfriend once joked that I must find a master's degree and not be lower than myself. As a result, her boyfriend graduated from college.

My parents were very angry and quarreled fiercely. She didn't blame her parents, tried to appease them, worked as parents, and got the chance to meet her boyfriend.

Li Jian is particularly confident. He felt that whenever he met his mother-in-law, he helped others change many resumes and planned many interviews. If he can't get through this, don't mix up in the future.

This is where he is different from others. He has a good attitude and understands his mother-in-law's demanding requirements.

/fc 1f 4 134970 a 304 e 489 fab 33 DAC 8 a 786 c 8 175 CBD？ X-BCE-process = image/resize，m _ lfit，w _ 450，h _ 600，limit _ 1/quality，q _ 85。 He analyzed these needs one by one. Why not ask Henan people? It turned out that my girlfriend, grandmother and father were cheated by Henan people, and they had a bad impression.

But communication can eliminate prejudice. I have heard bad comments from Henan people before, but after I became good friends with a group of Henan people such as Li Jian, there was no such prejudice.

Li Jian believes that regarding the first rule, as long as we meet, this prejudice does not exist.

Why don't you want to find rural people? My mother-in-law is mainly worried about providing for the aged. Parents don't have old-age insurance, and the daughter's burden is too heavy in the future.

In short, my girlfriend's family requirements are not high, and I just want to find a suitable one.

Since all the conditions of Li Jian don't meet the requirements of his mother-in-law, how did he get her consent?

/55e 736d 12 F2 EB 938 a 14f 7 13 bde 628535 E4 DD 6 FDC？ X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 450, h _ 600, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85 Li Jian uses his spare time to help others revise their resumes and plan interviews, so he thinks that HR recruitment is generally a radish and a pit, that is, each position corresponds to the corresponding ability requirements.

Every time, Li Jian will split up according to this ability and find the corresponding proof, which is the so-called work.

For example, HR recruiting a new media operation requires writing skills. At this time, taking out your submitted works can show that you are qualified for this job.

Mother-in-law looking for a son-in-law, like HR recruitment, mainly considers whether her daughter will be happy with you.

Mainly examine two points:

First, do you have the ability to provide my daughter with a good material life?

Second, are you a reliable person?

In view of these requirements, Li Jian has made full preparations.

Have dinner with a stranger every week to exercise communication skills.

In the past year, Li Jian ate and chatted with nearly 100 strangers, mainly to practice his communication skills.

How did he know these people? He uses available channels, offline activities, travel, friend introductions, etc.

In the communication, he found that everyone is a book, which brought him into a different world. These people are willing to have dinner with him again.

He feels that he still has practical experience in communication. Even if he meets his mother-in-law, he should be able to find a state of communication soon.

Besides, Li Jian and his girlfriend rehearsed twice before meeting his mother-in-law. His girlfriend asked him all kinds of tricky questions, and he answered them all.

Print insurance policy and deposit certificate.

Li Jian took the AFP exam in his spare time and got some knowledge of financial management.

He bought a lot of insurance himself and also for his parents. His mother-in-law is worried that he is a rural family, which is nothing more than worrying about his parents' pension.

In addition, he helped his parents build a house in the past two years, and their parents worked hard. There are hundreds of thousands of deposits at home, so don't worry about providing for the aged.

He also prepared deposit certificates for these years, and the down payment for a small house in Beijing is almost enough.

During the meeting, talking about the situation at home, he said that both parents have medical insurance, so he took out these certificates. My mother-in-law picked it up and looked at it for a few minutes, but it was still very shocking.

How to prove that you are a good person?

This is hard to prove. Li Jian thought of analogy. He gave examples of two friends, which I didn't think was appropriate, but my mother-in-law listened.

Li Jian has two good friends with good family background. Both of them went abroad, leaving thousands of dollars to help him take care of his girlfriend, that is, to help send gifts on holidays.

You see, all my friends trust me to take care of their girlfriends, proving that they trust me.

These friends, also have a lot of background, and the profile also reflects Li Jian's network resources.

Then, Li Jian said, "Aunt, if you are willing to entrust your daughter to me, I will take good care of her."

He is going to buy a small house, make a down payment and write his girlfriend's name. He wants to tell his mother-in-law that he is sincere.

Now, he basically reports to his girlfriend's house once a week. Isn't there a saying that mother-in-law likes son-in-law more and more? Now, he has been fully recognized by his mother-in-law

He also takes the route of encircling the city from the countryside and gives gifts to his girlfriend's seven aunts and eight aunts, which is not too expensive.

It's cold and dry now, so I'll send fruit. People around him say that he is good, and his mother-in-law is naturally affected.

This matter, for himself, the biggest growth is the maturity of his mentality. If someone had mentioned Henan people and rural people before, he would have turned his face.

Now, he thinks blx is useless. It is best to solve the problem and eliminate prejudice, but it takes time.

In fact, Li Jian told me that he was not worried about his mother-in-law, because the decision on this matter was in her daughter's hands. As long as he has a girlfriend, everything will come naturally.

The reason why he has to work so hard to get his mother-in-law's approval is because he loves his girlfriend too much, and he doesn't want her to have conflicts with his parents for him, nor does he want her to make a choice between his family and him.

/f 3 1 FBE 096 b 63 f 62495 1832 ca 8 c 44 ebf 8 1 B4 ca 3b 6？ X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 450, h _ 600, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85 When it comes to girlfriends, Li Jian is very happy. Li Jian also shared two thoughts about love:

The best state of love is mutual worship.

Looking back on the changes in recent years, Li Jian said that the most correct choice is to find a girlfriend in the senior year.

Li Jian thinks his girlfriend is very smart, has her own opinions and persistence, and is also very kind and filial.

At many critical moments he chose in the past, his girlfriend gave him some advice to make him develop better and better.

Li Jian is very firm in his career choice. He graduated from history major, and his work imagination is a history teacher.

At the suggestion of his girlfriend, he entered an advertising company and accumulated experience. His girlfriend advised him to choose a fast-growing industry, so with his girlfriend's company, Li Jian's career developed rapidly.

Frustrated in changing careers in Li Jian, his girlfriend has been studying in Hong Kong, and everyone has been encouraging him. After finishing his studies, he returned to Beijing for him.

Similarly, in the eyes of his girlfriend, Li Jian is a promising man.

He is confident, likes studying and can bear hardships. He takes a certificate with high gold content every year and systematically learns some knowledge in this way.

The best way to ideal love is to train each other.

When they first began to fall in love, they often had contradictions and quarrels. Later, they educated each other and set an example for each other. Slowly, both of them became their best.

My girlfriend doesn't like reading. Li Jian bought a room full of books. She often reads books. Later, my girlfriend also liked reading books.

Li Jian is a straight man, and his girlfriend often accompanies him to buy clothes and teaches him how to dress. Now Li Jian's clothes have also improved.

I think they can solve all kinds of problems and get recognition from their families. There is a very important premise that their feelings are really good and they trust each other.

In addition, this matter, whether it is an interview or a mother-in-law's approval, depends on the routine of ability, and it may not be so easy to achieve it if you change people.

When we look at a person, we don't look at what he said at all, but at what he did. Just like Li Jian went to her mother-in-law's house and bought two bottles of Maotai, she prepared many gifts according to her parents' preferences, all of which demanded money.

Li graduated a few years ago, and his career has developed so well, which proves that he is very capable and his family clearly opposes it. He is not angry and can understand that parents want to be nice to their daughters.

Best of all, he can always get his girlfriend to stand on his side and help solve problems together. Not everyone is determined to do so.

I have met many people, because their families oppose separation, complain about the injustice of fate, and complain that others look down on themselves, but they never want to do anything.

Prove that you have not shouted a few slogans, but you need strength.

Whether two people love each other is the same, not by how many sweet words, but by whether two people are willing to work hard and take responsibility for being together.