How to protect yourself when you encounter a "narcissistic" boss? Try these three steps

As a member of a team, have you ever encountered a boss who is self-centered in everything and ignores the feelings and interests of others; they only care about their own goals, and sometimes even ignore social ethics; In order to achieve his own goals, he does not hesitate to deliberately manipulate others, without caring about the suffering of others.

How do you protect yourself and deal with such a boss?

Living in "dire straits" but not knowing how to solve it. People become more and more unhappy. Going to work every day feels like visiting a grave. If this continues, you may even become depressed.

If you feel the above, you may have encountered a "narcissistic" boss. They often think that they have inherent privileges and are full of arrogance and prejudice towards others. It is indeed troublesome to meet such a boss, but there are still solutions.

The corresponding English word for narcissism is narcissism, whose literal translation is "narcissus". The first narcissist in Western history was the beautiful boy Narcissus, a character in ancient Greek mythology. Narcisse was the son of the river god and the nymph, the most handsome man in Greece. Countless girls fell in love with him at first sight, but he arrogantly rejected them all. Among them is the beautiful mountain fairy Echo. Yi Ke was very sad and quickly lost weight. Finally, her body disappeared completely, leaving only a melancholy voice echoing in the valley.

The gods were angry and decided to let Narcissus suffer: falling in love with others, but not being loved in return.

During a hunting trip, Narcisse saw his own reflection in the water and couldn't help but fall in love with himself. He spent every day admiring himself by the water, became indifferent to food and drink, and finally died of haggardness. While pursuing, he was pursued at the same time. In pain, he never got a response, and finally died and turned into a daffodil by the water.

Psychiatrists and clinical psychologists borrow this term to describe the phenomenon of a person falling in love with himself.

Narcissism is significantly and positively related to top managers’ intrinsic leadership qualities, including their creativity, strategic thinking, and communication skills. Therefore, narcissists are not uncommon among executives of major companies in the world:

Self-centered command of others will be regarded by colleagues as having leadership potential;

Do not reveal it to others Those who have true thoughts will be considered to have strong self-control and perseverance;

Those who are accustomed to exaggerated self-evaluations will be considered confident;

Those who have no sympathy for hurting others will be considered For the courage to push through hard decisions and a style of doing things that don’t matter to people.

Narcissists are often considered to have leadership abilities and are efficient and achieve outstanding results. They are easily regarded as heroes and are sought after by people.

"Narcissism" literally means loving yourself. By extension, it means feeling that you are valuable, worthy of being loved, appreciated and respected. This good sense of self is important for everyone. This good feeling can help you face the difficulties and blows in real life, and get out of adversity and troughs in life. This is a reflection of our sense of self-worth.

Healthy narcissism believes that one is lovable and valuable and holds this to be self-evident, regardless of what others say. Such people first have a basic trust in themselves and think that they are worthy of being liked. Even if someone criticizes me, they must care and love me. Unhealthy narcissism always needs to prove its worth through others. If I encounter criticism, I will definitely think that I am not good and others are maliciously attacking me. In essence, this is not believing that I am lovable and valuable. From this point of view, although the "narcissist" usually behaves like a member of the royal family as "arrogant", "unwilling to listen", and "lack of sympathy", he is actually quite fragile inside because he has left your You cannot survive with praise and recognition.

From this perspective, the "narcissist" is fragile. If you accidentally encounter a "narcissistic" boss, while blaming him, you can think about his vulnerability.

●Clear self-goals

If you meet a "narcissistic" boss and you have no intention of leaving, it means that this job has certain value. Therefore, do what you should do, be firm on your original goals, and don’t change your original goal trajectory because of anything.

●Set boundaries

Sometimes you may find that a narcissist is also a perfectionist, because no matter what you do, it is not good enough for him or her. Require. Therefore, in your daily work, you need to establish a comfortable psychological boundary for yourself. For what is within the boundary, it is an acceptable range. For what exceeds the boundary, take the initiative to communicate with your boss to achieve a corresponding balance. In short , be kind to yourself, you don’t need to hold yourself back to internal injuries or even depression for a job.

At the same time, bosses are humans and not gods. In daily work, you can also understand the fragile "narcissist" boss appropriately. (At this time, do you realize that you are particularly powerful? Oh my god, you have made the world more harmonious~)

●Boldly say "no":

No matter how much you think For the sake of the "narcissistic" boss, no matter how much you sacrifice for him or how much you compromise your own needs, they will not feel grateful. When you do this, they just feel like you did something you were supposed to do. Narcissists usually only think about themselves. The quality they lack most is concern for other people's needs, thoughts, and feelings. ?

So when you encounter a "narcissistic" boss, please focus your strength and persistence on your goals, set boundaries, and boldly say to them " No".

Summary

What should you do if you encounter a "narcissistic" boss? You can try these three steps to protect yourself:

Step 1: Clarify your goals

Step 2: Set boundaries

Step 3: Be bold Say "no"